(no subject)
It is currently 2:12 in the AM on Saturday the 28th of August.
What exactly is my point?
I count the days until school. Until school. Where apparently the "dead" as myself rise back to life.
Dead as nothing changes. It's a cycle of waking up at 14 to 15 and just moving around for the fixture of notifying everyone I'm still here. Poor human adaptation has led me inable top hibernate. What are my other options? Will I be any the differ when I further grow? Will I leave this place and settle in where I want?
I'm unsure if I'm even willing to think about the change. Having hardly noticed. I haven't looked at myself in the mirror in an age. What do I look like? Who am I physically now? What am I mentally now? Am I just here to work? What is my "Life Goal." Am I supposed to be helping the economy? Or what? Do I find myself to be more like Peter? Am I to push my way into what I think, rather than a concensus of what or who else thinks, would be best for me? Do I want to make a decision? And even if I willingly made said decision, how am I to be sure that it's something I'm willing and apt to continuing. Would my decisions be worth me? Should I wait?
What should I wait for if I should wait? Should I wait for my teachers to make a decision about what I should do? My teachers, with what low 12.50 an hour wage jobs, and what false gratification they recieve from their students, who as which many of do not want to be schooled.
What do people fear in school? That they cannot do good? What do they dread? Do they not see that they are learning when they complete assignments? Do they want to learn without working? Should school just be a mall climate? Are they afraid of the jurisdiction that their one-hour nannies hold?
Is school a basic and climing prequel to work? A dose, perchance? Is it better to work over work with others than to relax over relaxation alone? Does it moreso depend on the climate of the worker and relaxer? Would I be a different boy had I grown up in a metropolis? Would I have more to do? And had I had a lengthly experience in a metropolis as well as my suburban life, which lifestyle would dominate? Or would I loathe both, and wish for An african, or asian style of life.
Somehow I don't truly understand death. It's difficult for me to understand why I need to care for a dead one. But now, as I watch my cat die, I don't understand what I should do to help, or if can, or even IF I should. Perhaps a closehand death would help me understand. And unfortunately having something as such to fall into category over recent, I still don't understand why or how I can help, and if I can, do I want to? Is it moral to interupt a person's willing decision to die? Now having experienced as explained, I find I hardly understand the person at all.
What exactly is my point?
I count the days until school. Until school. Where apparently the "dead" as myself rise back to life.
Dead as nothing changes. It's a cycle of waking up at 14 to 15 and just moving around for the fixture of notifying everyone I'm still here. Poor human adaptation has led me inable top hibernate. What are my other options? Will I be any the differ when I further grow? Will I leave this place and settle in where I want?
I'm unsure if I'm even willing to think about the change. Having hardly noticed. I haven't looked at myself in the mirror in an age. What do I look like? Who am I physically now? What am I mentally now? Am I just here to work? What is my "Life Goal." Am I supposed to be helping the economy? Or what? Do I find myself to be more like Peter? Am I to push my way into what I think, rather than a concensus of what or who else thinks, would be best for me? Do I want to make a decision? And even if I willingly made said decision, how am I to be sure that it's something I'm willing and apt to continuing. Would my decisions be worth me? Should I wait?
What should I wait for if I should wait? Should I wait for my teachers to make a decision about what I should do? My teachers, with what low 12.50 an hour wage jobs, and what false gratification they recieve from their students, who as which many of do not want to be schooled.
What do people fear in school? That they cannot do good? What do they dread? Do they not see that they are learning when they complete assignments? Do they want to learn without working? Should school just be a mall climate? Are they afraid of the jurisdiction that their one-hour nannies hold?
Is school a basic and climing prequel to work? A dose, perchance? Is it better to work over work with others than to relax over relaxation alone? Does it moreso depend on the climate of the worker and relaxer? Would I be a different boy had I grown up in a metropolis? Would I have more to do? And had I had a lengthly experience in a metropolis as well as my suburban life, which lifestyle would dominate? Or would I loathe both, and wish for An african, or asian style of life.
Somehow I don't truly understand death. It's difficult for me to understand why I need to care for a dead one. But now, as I watch my cat die, I don't understand what I should do to help, or if can, or even IF I should. Perhaps a closehand death would help me understand. And unfortunately having something as such to fall into category over recent, I still don't understand why or how I can help, and if I can, do I want to? Is it moral to interupt a person's willing decision to die? Now having experienced as explained, I find I hardly understand the person at all.