Yeah, I Know That I Never Really Update....
As my subject says, I don't really update but I really need to just sit here and vent about everything that is on my mind....
Yeah, to be honest, I think I jumped the gun when I thought I was really happy with a lot of things in my life. Ever since school started, I've been growing worried and stressed...I just hope I don't breakdown again. BCA does seem to be like the right field for me, but I just don't have any ambition to do anything anymore. I just want to be done with school and travel. That's all I want to do. Travel. Maybe travel with a camera and document my journey. I can't wait to get the hell outta Michigan! This is one wish I've had ever since I can remember.
Back to BCA, I'm getting myself super involved this year. I'm still doing MHTV promotions and now I've added Central View music co-host and active National Broadcasting Society to the list. I also have to do volunteer hours for Study Abroad on top of 18 credits. Yeah...I don't mind be busy, but I'm a bit frustrated. So, I watched the premiere of Central View last night and you know what???? I SUCK! I honestly feel like the weakest link on that show! It pisses me off because I look so uncomfortable and unenergetic! Which, if you know me in person, I think I can come off with pretty good energy and maybe as a bit witty. Yeah...this frustrates me. I want to be good, damn it!
Besides school, the whole "love" life is pretty lackluster. Again, I jumped to the gun. How could I honestly believe that someone might actually take an interest in me? Guys only take interest in me for about 2.5 seconds and then drop me like a hot potato. I haven't talked to him since Saturday and I don't really care. He can call me. Seriously, will there ever be a guy that actually likes me??? I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker in the Family Stone when she finds out her boyfriend doesn't want to marry her and she replies "doesn't anybody love me???" Hahahha....yeah, I'm making a very stupid, vulnerable statement right now.
So...that's life for right now. Luckily, I'm going home for the weekend which I really really need! I've also had a cold for quite a few weeks now and it's kicking my ass. All I feel like doing is going to bed and not waking up until Friday. God...not in a good mood. I need a good cry...I haven't had one of those in a while! Anyways...I'm going to lay down until I have to tape more Central View. ***Hopefully, I can come off as more natural and comfortable!***
P.S. On a better note...I saw the object of my affection (Hot T.A.) on Saturday. He actually gave me a hug!!!!! If anything, that was seriously the highlight of my month!
Yeah, to be honest, I think I jumped the gun when I thought I was really happy with a lot of things in my life. Ever since school started, I've been growing worried and stressed...I just hope I don't breakdown again. BCA does seem to be like the right field for me, but I just don't have any ambition to do anything anymore. I just want to be done with school and travel. That's all I want to do. Travel. Maybe travel with a camera and document my journey. I can't wait to get the hell outta Michigan! This is one wish I've had ever since I can remember.
Back to BCA, I'm getting myself super involved this year. I'm still doing MHTV promotions and now I've added Central View music co-host and active National Broadcasting Society to the list. I also have to do volunteer hours for Study Abroad on top of 18 credits. Yeah...I don't mind be busy, but I'm a bit frustrated. So, I watched the premiere of Central View last night and you know what???? I SUCK! I honestly feel like the weakest link on that show! It pisses me off because I look so uncomfortable and unenergetic! Which, if you know me in person, I think I can come off with pretty good energy and maybe as a bit witty. Yeah...this frustrates me. I want to be good, damn it!
Besides school, the whole "love" life is pretty lackluster. Again, I jumped to the gun. How could I honestly believe that someone might actually take an interest in me? Guys only take interest in me for about 2.5 seconds and then drop me like a hot potato. I haven't talked to him since Saturday and I don't really care. He can call me. Seriously, will there ever be a guy that actually likes me??? I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker in the Family Stone when she finds out her boyfriend doesn't want to marry her and she replies "doesn't anybody love me???" Hahahha....yeah, I'm making a very stupid, vulnerable statement right now.
So...that's life for right now. Luckily, I'm going home for the weekend which I really really need! I've also had a cold for quite a few weeks now and it's kicking my ass. All I feel like doing is going to bed and not waking up until Friday. God...not in a good mood. I need a good cry...I haven't had one of those in a while! Anyways...I'm going to lay down until I have to tape more Central View. ***Hopefully, I can come off as more natural and comfortable!***
P.S. On a better note...I saw the object of my affection (Hot T.A.) on Saturday. He actually gave me a hug!!!!! If anything, that was seriously the highlight of my month!