Knowing Me, Knowing You
On Monday, I posted an entry on my Facebook page (Geez, Jason. Posting at *three* sites?) that told all about how there were three people I'd gone to school with and stumbled across via minor sleuthing. I mentioned wanting to reach out to them, but being apprehensive because I hadn't communicated with two of them in nearly nine years, and thirteen for the other. On the other hand, I think we've all received a message from a former co-worker or classmate that we've wanted to hear from and been excited by it.
I'd hoped whether or not these people were interested to hear from me or not, they'd at least think along those lines. All I had to do was convince myself of that. Throwing myself out there in matters like this make me nervous. I mentioned in my post that my goal was to message one of them by the end of February with a bonus for messaging two of them. If I went for all three? Dy-no-mite.
Person one was the only classmate of mine who attended every school with me from preschool until graduation. When it was all said and done, we'd gone to school with each other for fourteen years. We didn't become friends until junior high, but with our school electing to have us travel from class to class as a group and with us being interns in the same museum program, we saw a lot of each other in those four years of the internship. Later, I found that we had similar interests in high school, and our friendship became greater. I've seen her just twice since graduation, with the most recent being nearly six years ago. Of those on the list, I felt most comfortable reaching out to her, since I'd known her for so long.
Person two was a classmate of mine in elementary school for three years. We were both avid readers, with little in common other than that, but our weekly trips to the ELP trailer were where we became better friends. We were parallel people. She was a talented pianist, I preferred sports. We each had the chance to skip second grade, but her parents said no when she wanted to do it, my parents said yes when I didn't want to do it. We each took the test for the ELP program, and I didn't want to go, while she did. That's where we separated. I still remember her call to me when the results came and her disappointment at my lack of interest. I wonder how different my life would have been if I'd gone in that direction. I wouldn't have the same friends or had the same jobs.
She was the person I was the most apprehensive about messaging, because it'd been seventeen years since we were friends, and thirteen since I'd last seen her. While I thought she'd remember me, would she care? I figured I could do my best to pull together a, "I always wondered what happened to you/enjoyed having a fellow overacheiver in class/found our fourth grade class photo yesterday/my parents recently each asked about you" story (all true) and hope for the best.
Person three...I don't know why I wanted to find out what was going on with her. Irresistable curiousity? Closure? Masochistic desires? She's a big part of my past and I've talked about her often, and I think starting a dialogue with her and catching up is the perfect form of closure. I know that a conversation about various things that happened a lifetime ago for her are the last things we'll ever talk about, but catching up may be the best way to put her behind me once and for all. I had a similar feeling of nerves about contacting her as I did about the person above, only in this case, we had a history. A very long and weird history that was left unresolved, and probably always will be.
I badly wanted to reach these people, but was holding myself back. Immediately after posting that Facebook entry, I somehow threw caution to the wind and sent all three of them a message and waited.
Person three replied the next day...she has a husband, two kids and followed a path similar to many LDS girls I know. She didn't seem to want to talk about the past, so I accepted that what happened will never be discussed (ugh!) and that it'd be in my best interest to move on. The reaction last night to my contacting her by one of my best friends was priceless...a combination of shock and excitement. He tolerated my ups and downs during my friendship with her and knows better than anyone just how odd me contacting her is. Interestingly enough, what I predicted would happen actually did. I feel this feeling that we can be two adults and communicate along those lines and leave our seventeen and eighteen year-old selves out of the picture.
Person two replied last night...husband, no kids, awesome job with a local magazine. She showed surprise that our paths haven't crossed sooner. She seems genuinely happy that I reached out to her and did her best to recap 2/3 of her life in a few short paragraphs.
The first person still hasn't replied, but knowing that the two that I was most worried about have made me feel a lot more relaxed about the whole situation.