(no subject)
Money is not my sole motivator. Rather, recognition of my truest effort and performance, whether in monetary form, or in the form of a new opportunity or challenge; this is what drives me. I need room for growth, a sense of progress, a pat on the back, some general assurance that I’m … well, worth something. Needless to say, I didn’t get a raise this year … and my car allowance has been revoked. It’s like putting forth ‘A’ effort and getting a D when all is said and done … 336 days later.
It’s all about the numbers, generating positive figures, cost management. Ultimately, controllable profit … a desirable gross margin. Running a profitable business. PROFIT. I’m only worth the numbers I generate, I knew this all along. But, why does it feel like such a surprise? Why am I so affected?
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Well … I guess I’m on my way. But honestly, I can only give it one more shot. I’ve got to work even harder now, which seems almost impossible. I’ve got to give more, even more, for almost $5,000 less. You can bleed as much as you want, but if you’ve nothing to show for it, you’re worth nothing. It’s like suddenly, tenure is worthless.
Whatever, I’m playing with someone else’s money, and I lost $55,000 of it in the last twelve months. Maybe I don’t deserve anything. Maybe I’m just wasting time sitting here, reflecting in the after-burn of one of my most discouraging annuals to date. It hurts a little, it really does … lol, poor me.
Tore me up a little, even though I knew what to expect … maybe I just need a nap.
Anyway, on to the next 325 days, forging ahead. Life is going to be VERY simple this year, VERY VERY SIMPLE. But, I guess it’s almost over … it always is.
It’s all about the numbers, generating positive figures, cost management. Ultimately, controllable profit … a desirable gross margin. Running a profitable business. PROFIT. I’m only worth the numbers I generate, I knew this all along. But, why does it feel like such a surprise? Why am I so affected?
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Well … I guess I’m on my way. But honestly, I can only give it one more shot. I’ve got to work even harder now, which seems almost impossible. I’ve got to give more, even more, for almost $5,000 less. You can bleed as much as you want, but if you’ve nothing to show for it, you’re worth nothing. It’s like suddenly, tenure is worthless.
Whatever, I’m playing with someone else’s money, and I lost $55,000 of it in the last twelve months. Maybe I don’t deserve anything. Maybe I’m just wasting time sitting here, reflecting in the after-burn of one of my most discouraging annuals to date. It hurts a little, it really does … lol, poor me.
Tore me up a little, even though I knew what to expect … maybe I just need a nap.
Anyway, on to the next 325 days, forging ahead. Life is going to be VERY simple this year, VERY VERY SIMPLE. But, I guess it’s almost over … it always is.