Sometimes I wonder.

[aperfectscience]

I spend a lot of my thinking time lately, thinking about what I'm doing with my life. My academic future is not a worry to me. I know where I'm going with my job, and how I'm going to get there....I wonder mostly about whether or not I'm making the right decision as far as my relationship goes. The person I trust and love the most in my life (my Father) is telling me that I'm making a mistake, while my heart is, to some degree, telling me he is wrong. I spent my life lately pondering on this....what am I supposed to do, man? I feel that I may be better off without this relationship sometimes, but I can never tell if that's myself talking or if it's my father's words. The important thing here, is that the girl I am with is a wonderful person. She's very sweet, and adorable. I just wonder if we fit together sometimes. I love her, and I honestly feel as though she's a wonderful part of my life, but the relationship I'm in can cause so much stress in my life, and hers...stress that doesn't come from each other.... It's ridiculous....if just a couple things could happen at the right time, everything could turn out ok, I know it. I really wish they would. I'm so tired of feeling like a piece of shit because I'm following what my heart tells me for once in my goddamn life. I love her....I just wish it didn't make my life so fucking complicated.

I refuse to throw away a good thing because I'm being told that something I feel good about is such a mistake. I can't escape it though, and that's what sucks. I hear about it anytime I go home....

*sigh*