guten tag
hello.
yesterday i went to a therapist for the first time since i was 17 years old. Dylan left me Monday night-came back, was going to go to a motel, but hard to do when you only have $30 in the bank. So, i left and went to spend the night at Leia's house. Tuesday at work was fucking rough to say the least. I cry to my boss and she tells me that secretly we still have the EAP shit and that i can call them. i called them and viola, i got in to see someone yesterday. he was cheesy and funny, but i got to get a LOT out in that hour and a half. He asked a lot and i think he has enough to get started. he gave me some gay-ass handouts on communication, but it turned out to be useful. Dylan was against going but expected me to get anger management..i feel that i need an over-haul. i need to deal w/what i have been avoiding for years, and this includes in the last 5 years since my father died. i feel different today. not just because i am high, and it's not even 7:30am. i am eating my oatmeal about to hop on my bike to ride in to work. i even have a good hair day going..until i get on the bike.
Dylan and i have not really talked since Monday, until last night-and i asked him if he was just going to pretend that he didn't say all that shit on Monday-he said, "no, i just want you to go talk to someone, like you say you will-i am willing to make an effort to make it work." I shocked the hell out of him by saying "i had my first appointment today!" His jaw dropped.
He is now willing to call too, and begin working thru his shit and then we can also start doing couples work. this is awesome! i feel like a new person. i am finally beginning the completion of my life change over-haul.
Today i sit at roughly 224ish lbs. HOLY SHIT batman. i may be smaller or the size i was when i met Dylan.
this too, is fucking-A exciting.
i am sure i have more to say, but i need to get on my bike..and brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it's fucking chilly!!
yesterday i went to a therapist for the first time since i was 17 years old. Dylan left me Monday night-came back, was going to go to a motel, but hard to do when you only have $30 in the bank. So, i left and went to spend the night at Leia's house. Tuesday at work was fucking rough to say the least. I cry to my boss and she tells me that secretly we still have the EAP shit and that i can call them. i called them and viola, i got in to see someone yesterday. he was cheesy and funny, but i got to get a LOT out in that hour and a half. He asked a lot and i think he has enough to get started. he gave me some gay-ass handouts on communication, but it turned out to be useful. Dylan was against going but expected me to get anger management..i feel that i need an over-haul. i need to deal w/what i have been avoiding for years, and this includes in the last 5 years since my father died. i feel different today. not just because i am high, and it's not even 7:30am. i am eating my oatmeal about to hop on my bike to ride in to work. i even have a good hair day going..until i get on the bike.
Dylan and i have not really talked since Monday, until last night-and i asked him if he was just going to pretend that he didn't say all that shit on Monday-he said, "no, i just want you to go talk to someone, like you say you will-i am willing to make an effort to make it work." I shocked the hell out of him by saying "i had my first appointment today!" His jaw dropped.
He is now willing to call too, and begin working thru his shit and then we can also start doing couples work. this is awesome! i feel like a new person. i am finally beginning the completion of my life change over-haul.
Today i sit at roughly 224ish lbs. HOLY SHIT batman. i may be smaller or the size i was when i met Dylan.
this too, is fucking-A exciting.
i am sure i have more to say, but i need to get on my bike..and brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it's fucking chilly!!