conflict between good and evil?
my life is upside down right now, in the work-world, and it does not help that i am in FULL BLOWN PMS-mode.
I was out of town for nye w/dylan in a-town. we went to a good party, hung w/friends, then he came back to dallas, and i stayed for a work forum. (between those days i chilled w/angeli) last year at this forum, my ass kind of hurt when i got back from all the smoke blown up it, but this year was fucking AWESOME! we had very constructive things to talk about to the regional leadership group, had good debates, and ended on a positive note for everyone. i come back and seem to feel in semi-warm water w/my boss, because of my role that sent me to the forum. the embarrassing thing is, we have this booklet/guide-like thing to help us in our roles, and i have been doing this for almost 2 years, and guess i could have benefited from re-reading it before tonight, as i found myself doing what it says we are not to do. we can't actually resolve conflicts. (between employees and leaders) we are supposed to refer them back to their bosses or the store bosses OR even to regional hr. i have done that EVERY time someone has come to talk to me, and given them sound advice. even once i told someone whiny to shit or get off the pot. (sound advice if you knew her.) :)
i guess once the ball is rolling, and you hear from several people a week, you start to try to resolve the conflict for them, or at least give them a devils advocate side of how the leaders feel dealing w/the REALLY petty shit, that i forgot i was not supposed to have to deal with that shit. that shit in which, my shoulders and neck hurt so bad, and i start to cringe when i see certain people come towards me. i just know they have some more bull shit. (it always makes me REALLY dig the people i never have come to me when they actually have something useful.) i was just given the best advice in the world for leading this group by an hr person the other day, tell them if they want to complain in our meeting, they have to have 2 solutions for every 1 complaint. DONE deal. but let me get back to my point.
i have been walking a tight line between the people and the PEOPLE at work, and i have to kind of play both sides in order to make things work, and now i have officially hit a crux. the people are happy with me, but unhappy at their jobs, and the PEOPLE are stressed about their jobs, and have been loving me, but now seem annoyed. i have wasted their time w/too much bull shit. well no offense, but my time was wasted w/it all, and i really tried to do a hell of a screening job for them so they wouldn't have to deal unless it was worthy. and when i brought stupid shit up from some of the whinier ones, it was to tell them (c.y.a. kind of thing)that the particulary whiner has a problem.
i work really hard for the store, and try to tell everyone (and show)that everyone has a voice, and that the place is ONE BIG open door policy. they really are all about keeping the lines of communication open, but it seems the reality is that people are fucking pussies and just fucking USE ME to go and say stuff for them so they don't have to put their own asses on the line, and they don't have to worry about what leaders will think if they say this or that. (blockablocka i like to say, kind of like blah blahblbah) well i think my reign is about over. i know i could have a bit more fun with it all if i stuck it out until at least the end of my 2nd term in may, but i am not sure i can stay out of the heat/lime-light in the mean time. i do 3 different peoples job (2 of them well, and one i still need more training on!!!!) and i'd really like to focus on those jobs, and figure out which direction i'd like to go in the company. i have a decent network of folks that i get along with that are high up, and i get along w/most everyone on the store level, and all of that can be used to my advantage (hell its good for everyone when people are happy at what they do, and proud!!) to move forward, and keep learning new things. i love being the leader of my rebel group, man i really do and stepping down might be one of the hardest decsions (professionally) i have ever had to make, and man i have like over 40 jobs in my life since 14 yrs old!
i think for my stress level, and my relationship w/my boss, i need to step down. i do not want to run the risk of stepping (or seeming to step) on other peoples toes, especially that of leadership.
i have done one hell of a great job, and i will leave behind something i am very proud of, and will ALWAYS volunteer to help them out, and do whatever the group needs!!
viva la grocery revolution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wed, i get to meet w/the regional vp of the our region, and then a tm relations person. this freaks me out, but i know they are only coming to touch-base w/me and my boss because of our store morale issues, emails i have sent out to others in my group in the region, and emails others have sent to higher-ups. someone else actually really opened the can of worms, but i am in the middle of it in my position, and did say some of what needed to be said during the forum in austin. which is kind of what bothers me, since i have not even had a chance to speak about what great things happened at the forum. the folks need to know. i am waiting a full packet from regional w/all the notes from it (we have a mini-packet, but its just our presentations, now the full q & a that followed all of our presentations, which brought up all kinds of great points, and great new ideas!)that i can share w/everyone.
i guess when you realize your heart is REALLY in it, but your mind and body need the rest, then you must obey them. right?
did i say already how much i love my store, the ppl in it, and my company? who would have ever thought i'd become a company person?!?!?!??!??!!??!
sure as fuck not me. i have even been trying to make a conscious effort to not cus in front of groups of ppl when i talk outloud (yes it does take work from me....i know...it's sad..)and to not cus much one on one either. i do want to be taken more seriously.
shit, sometimes i'd like a little credit, but man work aint about credit, it's about the paycheck and the benefits, and if you are REALLY lucky, you enjoy it too, so that makes it all worth while. (i get to enjoy it AND really like the people.)
the pill i took to help my mind turn off and let me sleep, since i must get up EARLY tomorrow to count $, and then have my morale (hopefully not a chastize april meeting) meeting.
thanks for reading PLEASE RESPOND!!!
I was out of town for nye w/dylan in a-town. we went to a good party, hung w/friends, then he came back to dallas, and i stayed for a work forum. (between those days i chilled w/angeli) last year at this forum, my ass kind of hurt when i got back from all the smoke blown up it, but this year was fucking AWESOME! we had very constructive things to talk about to the regional leadership group, had good debates, and ended on a positive note for everyone. i come back and seem to feel in semi-warm water w/my boss, because of my role that sent me to the forum. the embarrassing thing is, we have this booklet/guide-like thing to help us in our roles, and i have been doing this for almost 2 years, and guess i could have benefited from re-reading it before tonight, as i found myself doing what it says we are not to do. we can't actually resolve conflicts. (between employees and leaders) we are supposed to refer them back to their bosses or the store bosses OR even to regional hr. i have done that EVERY time someone has come to talk to me, and given them sound advice. even once i told someone whiny to shit or get off the pot. (sound advice if you knew her.) :)
i guess once the ball is rolling, and you hear from several people a week, you start to try to resolve the conflict for them, or at least give them a devils advocate side of how the leaders feel dealing w/the REALLY petty shit, that i forgot i was not supposed to have to deal with that shit. that shit in which, my shoulders and neck hurt so bad, and i start to cringe when i see certain people come towards me. i just know they have some more bull shit. (it always makes me REALLY dig the people i never have come to me when they actually have something useful.) i was just given the best advice in the world for leading this group by an hr person the other day, tell them if they want to complain in our meeting, they have to have 2 solutions for every 1 complaint. DONE deal. but let me get back to my point.
i have been walking a tight line between the people and the PEOPLE at work, and i have to kind of play both sides in order to make things work, and now i have officially hit a crux. the people are happy with me, but unhappy at their jobs, and the PEOPLE are stressed about their jobs, and have been loving me, but now seem annoyed. i have wasted their time w/too much bull shit. well no offense, but my time was wasted w/it all, and i really tried to do a hell of a screening job for them so they wouldn't have to deal unless it was worthy. and when i brought stupid shit up from some of the whinier ones, it was to tell them (c.y.a. kind of thing)that the particulary whiner has a problem.
i work really hard for the store, and try to tell everyone (and show)that everyone has a voice, and that the place is ONE BIG open door policy. they really are all about keeping the lines of communication open, but it seems the reality is that people are fucking pussies and just fucking USE ME to go and say stuff for them so they don't have to put their own asses on the line, and they don't have to worry about what leaders will think if they say this or that. (blockablocka i like to say, kind of like blah blahblbah) well i think my reign is about over. i know i could have a bit more fun with it all if i stuck it out until at least the end of my 2nd term in may, but i am not sure i can stay out of the heat/lime-light in the mean time. i do 3 different peoples job (2 of them well, and one i still need more training on!!!!) and i'd really like to focus on those jobs, and figure out which direction i'd like to go in the company. i have a decent network of folks that i get along with that are high up, and i get along w/most everyone on the store level, and all of that can be used to my advantage (hell its good for everyone when people are happy at what they do, and proud!!) to move forward, and keep learning new things. i love being the leader of my rebel group, man i really do and stepping down might be one of the hardest decsions (professionally) i have ever had to make, and man i have like over 40 jobs in my life since 14 yrs old!
i think for my stress level, and my relationship w/my boss, i need to step down. i do not want to run the risk of stepping (or seeming to step) on other peoples toes, especially that of leadership.
i have done one hell of a great job, and i will leave behind something i am very proud of, and will ALWAYS volunteer to help them out, and do whatever the group needs!!
viva la grocery revolution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wed, i get to meet w/the regional vp of the our region, and then a tm relations person. this freaks me out, but i know they are only coming to touch-base w/me and my boss because of our store morale issues, emails i have sent out to others in my group in the region, and emails others have sent to higher-ups. someone else actually really opened the can of worms, but i am in the middle of it in my position, and did say some of what needed to be said during the forum in austin. which is kind of what bothers me, since i have not even had a chance to speak about what great things happened at the forum. the folks need to know. i am waiting a full packet from regional w/all the notes from it (we have a mini-packet, but its just our presentations, now the full q & a that followed all of our presentations, which brought up all kinds of great points, and great new ideas!)that i can share w/everyone.
i guess when you realize your heart is REALLY in it, but your mind and body need the rest, then you must obey them. right?
did i say already how much i love my store, the ppl in it, and my company? who would have ever thought i'd become a company person?!?!?!??!??!!??!
sure as fuck not me. i have even been trying to make a conscious effort to not cus in front of groups of ppl when i talk outloud (yes it does take work from me....i know...it's sad..)and to not cus much one on one either. i do want to be taken more seriously.
shit, sometimes i'd like a little credit, but man work aint about credit, it's about the paycheck and the benefits, and if you are REALLY lucky, you enjoy it too, so that makes it all worth while. (i get to enjoy it AND really like the people.)
the pill i took to help my mind turn off and let me sleep, since i must get up EARLY tomorrow to count $, and then have my morale (hopefully not a chastize april meeting) meeting.
thanks for reading PLEASE RESPOND!!!