at work...
and SO fucking bored. i figured now is as good a time as any to update...this makes it two in two weeks. whoot!
first, a few words on the situation in southeast asia...for posterity (because we tend to forget about even the most horrible of disasters too quickly if they're not happening in our own backyard), a 9.0 earthquake hit about 100 miles of the coast of sumatra, in the middle of the indian ocean, causing a terrible tsunami that, as of this moment, has claimed almost 80,000 lives, and the death toll is still rising, 3 days out. i think that this sort of complete devastation is pretty much incomprehensible to anyone not there at the moment that it hits. i'm sure it was even incomprehensible to those standing at the shore, watching the wave roll in...i really can't say why this has hit me so hard, but i can honestly say that i well up every time i think about those poor people, going about their day to day lives or enjoying a well-deserved vacation with loved ones...maybe because, for once, it's not a man-made disaster...there are no good guys and bad guys...it just...happened.
this would probably also be a good place to mention that a tsunami is one of my recurring nightmares...maybe i can empathize, because i've had countless dreams over the course of my lifetime wherein i'm standing on a beach, frozen to the spot, watching a wall of water approach, and not being able to scream or move.
i am slightly ashamed to admit that one of the first things i thought about, when i heard that aceh province in sumatra was one of the hardest-hit areas, was orangutans. there's an orang rehabilitation sanctuary there, and they're also still found wild in gunung leuser national park in southern aceh province. there are only, like, 5,000 of them left in the whole world! i know. nobody should care about orangutans when 80,000 human beings are dead, but i do. i can't help it. i think that a lot of the time, i might like animals more than people. but i do still care about the people. i got $500 from my parents for christmas, to go toward whatever trip andy and i are planning in between moving from here to the next place (wherever that may be) next fall, and i gave half of it away today to oxfam. it really was just a question of me happening to have extra money (when i normally have none) and them needing it way more than i. if you've ever given money away to any humanitarian cause, you may know what i'm talking about, but it's a really hard thing. not because i'm too selfish to want to give my money away, but because...well, i could really use that money. i'm not well off by any means. we live paycheck to paycheck, and we don't even have kids! and THEN you debate internally about just how much you can really afford. i feel a bit guilty now that i didn't give MORE, and then i hear andy's voice in my head when i told him that i was giving even $250. "what?!" andy is usually the rational voice in my head, and i usually end up agreeing with him, but this time i couldn't listen. but i'm really feeling now that i should have given the whole $500. but THEN you stop and think about all the other parts of the world and all the other people who are suffering, and it gets overwhelming. at that point, i just have to kind of block it all out, tell myself i did what i could do today, and call it a day.
i think i'd also much rather be THERE, actually helping and feeling that i was accomplishing something that i could see and feel for myself, rather than just giving money. i have total confidence in oxfam that my money is actually going where i want it to go, but it just doesn't give me the same sort of satisfaction that i think i would get out of actually being there to help. of course, that's total fantasy. in reality, i'd do nothing but get in the way of experienced aid workers. they've got all the bodies they need. it's money they don't have.
i felt very cynical this afternoon, watching the news conference on cnn...representatives of the bush administration and the military actually seemed to give a fuck about the situation. i couldn't help but ask myself quietly in my head what the US hoped to from all the apparent concern. a better reputation in the world at large? probably. but i also found myself getting angry at the journalists that were trying to find fault with how the government reacted to the crisis - 'why did it take three days to send help?' 'why isn't the US contributing more money to this effort?'...i mean, jesus. for once, i really believe that our government is doing the best that they can right now, and i hope that they will give more and do more in the near future, and also over the course of the next few years, in regard to rebuilding, but give them a break for just a second. they're doing, frankly, much more than i would ever have expected. but, like i said, i'm cynical.
i'm not very coherent. i find that i make less sense when i write about things i care about. and i really should go because i'm starting to feel guilty that i'm sitting here typing this while my co-worker is making up things to do around here.
so much for 'a few words'...
first, a few words on the situation in southeast asia...for posterity (because we tend to forget about even the most horrible of disasters too quickly if they're not happening in our own backyard), a 9.0 earthquake hit about 100 miles of the coast of sumatra, in the middle of the indian ocean, causing a terrible tsunami that, as of this moment, has claimed almost 80,000 lives, and the death toll is still rising, 3 days out. i think that this sort of complete devastation is pretty much incomprehensible to anyone not there at the moment that it hits. i'm sure it was even incomprehensible to those standing at the shore, watching the wave roll in...i really can't say why this has hit me so hard, but i can honestly say that i well up every time i think about those poor people, going about their day to day lives or enjoying a well-deserved vacation with loved ones...maybe because, for once, it's not a man-made disaster...there are no good guys and bad guys...it just...happened.
this would probably also be a good place to mention that a tsunami is one of my recurring nightmares...maybe i can empathize, because i've had countless dreams over the course of my lifetime wherein i'm standing on a beach, frozen to the spot, watching a wall of water approach, and not being able to scream or move.
i am slightly ashamed to admit that one of the first things i thought about, when i heard that aceh province in sumatra was one of the hardest-hit areas, was orangutans. there's an orang rehabilitation sanctuary there, and they're also still found wild in gunung leuser national park in southern aceh province. there are only, like, 5,000 of them left in the whole world! i know. nobody should care about orangutans when 80,000 human beings are dead, but i do. i can't help it. i think that a lot of the time, i might like animals more than people. but i do still care about the people. i got $500 from my parents for christmas, to go toward whatever trip andy and i are planning in between moving from here to the next place (wherever that may be) next fall, and i gave half of it away today to oxfam. it really was just a question of me happening to have extra money (when i normally have none) and them needing it way more than i. if you've ever given money away to any humanitarian cause, you may know what i'm talking about, but it's a really hard thing. not because i'm too selfish to want to give my money away, but because...well, i could really use that money. i'm not well off by any means. we live paycheck to paycheck, and we don't even have kids! and THEN you debate internally about just how much you can really afford. i feel a bit guilty now that i didn't give MORE, and then i hear andy's voice in my head when i told him that i was giving even $250. "what?!" andy is usually the rational voice in my head, and i usually end up agreeing with him, but this time i couldn't listen. but i'm really feeling now that i should have given the whole $500. but THEN you stop and think about all the other parts of the world and all the other people who are suffering, and it gets overwhelming. at that point, i just have to kind of block it all out, tell myself i did what i could do today, and call it a day.
i think i'd also much rather be THERE, actually helping and feeling that i was accomplishing something that i could see and feel for myself, rather than just giving money. i have total confidence in oxfam that my money is actually going where i want it to go, but it just doesn't give me the same sort of satisfaction that i think i would get out of actually being there to help. of course, that's total fantasy. in reality, i'd do nothing but get in the way of experienced aid workers. they've got all the bodies they need. it's money they don't have.
i felt very cynical this afternoon, watching the news conference on cnn...representatives of the bush administration and the military actually seemed to give a fuck about the situation. i couldn't help but ask myself quietly in my head what the US hoped to from all the apparent concern. a better reputation in the world at large? probably. but i also found myself getting angry at the journalists that were trying to find fault with how the government reacted to the crisis - 'why did it take three days to send help?' 'why isn't the US contributing more money to this effort?'...i mean, jesus. for once, i really believe that our government is doing the best that they can right now, and i hope that they will give more and do more in the near future, and also over the course of the next few years, in regard to rebuilding, but give them a break for just a second. they're doing, frankly, much more than i would ever have expected. but, like i said, i'm cynical.
i'm not very coherent. i find that i make less sense when i write about things i care about. and i really should go because i'm starting to feel guilty that i'm sitting here typing this while my co-worker is making up things to do around here.
so much for 'a few words'...