May 07, 2005 21:32
ummm.... i hate how im so good at fucking up. Everything fucks up or turns around and hits me right in the face. Well a repeat of my Crane audition came to haunt me. I screwed up one small thing in the play and like removing the keystone in an arch it all fell apart. I guess im not fit for any kind of thing i like or feel I might be good at doing. Sometimes I think I'm not fit for anything. It's rough. I really don't know what I wanna do with my life and anything I try I do horribly. Just before my crane audition I played the piece perfectly... just be fore the show I read the lines perfectly from my mind, I get out there and blegh. I wouldn't have made it such a big deal, but the writer of the play came for this show... heh joyous. What am I going to do with my life. I feel so obselete. I don't think I can do much right except ruin my life and fall apart. Whats wrong with me? Can I fix this? heh who knows... this sux... alright, well time to forget this until another time when I come back to read my entries.