(no subject)
I have been having so many dreams with people I know in them lately but every time one specific person shows up whether we're in a group or just hanging out together my dreams turn, not really to nightmares, but bad stuff happens in them. Like horrible horrible car crashes and some sort of demon people. I can't figure it out and I really really wish I could. The funny thing is I've never really dreamed about any of these people before this past week or so.
In other news, there is no other news. I'm still the same dysfunctional person I've always been. Maybe with a little bit more dysfunction. I had the urge the other day to transfer to a school far far away for my last two semesters and just stay away. I'm so tired of being around here even though I like to tell myself that if I just stick around for a few more years it will all get better. I've been telling myself that for so long it's hard to imagine it being any different but I'm starting to think maybe I was wrong. I'm almost starting to wonder if I've ever been right about anything.
I can't really say I'm sad or depressed because this feeling doesn't really feel like those. I'm more, resigned. It's almost like I've just given up. I don't really care anymore and I very much want to still care...
In other news, there is no other news. I'm still the same dysfunctional person I've always been. Maybe with a little bit more dysfunction. I had the urge the other day to transfer to a school far far away for my last two semesters and just stay away. I'm so tired of being around here even though I like to tell myself that if I just stick around for a few more years it will all get better. I've been telling myself that for so long it's hard to imagine it being any different but I'm starting to think maybe I was wrong. I'm almost starting to wonder if I've ever been right about anything.
I can't really say I'm sad or depressed because this feeling doesn't really feel like those. I'm more, resigned. It's almost like I've just given up. I don't really care anymore and I very much want to still care...