stupid choices, big consequences
i know you are reading this, and theres something i want to say something i want to announce for those who dont already know:
my junior year i got kicked out of desert ridge because of a stupid mistake i made.
i decided to take percocet from one of my friends right before second period.
i knew what i was doing was wrong, but i decided to do it anyway, and in the process i hust not only myself but my family as well.
and i did not care.
in the heat of things i lied to my parents, telling them a completely different story, in attempt to save my ass, which i sucessfully did, but its something that i am not proud of whatsoever.
to all of you who thought something totally different, my sincerest apologies, there is no excuse for what i did, this i know. its something i dont think i will ever forgive myself for.
to my mother:
despite what you may think, i do care about things, lots of things. and i wish you would stop telling me that i hate this family and that i rejected you because i didnt. i rejected your rules, yes, but never you. im tired of the constant arguing and you acting fake because you fell like you are walking on eggshells because of me. thats a load of crap. there are times when i can be happy and fun, but not when you are prying into my life, playing 20 questions. i wont play that game with you anymore. the sunday dinners are something i dont think any of us are ready for. not ally, not drew, not dad and not you.
you are my family and right now we are going through a rather tough time, that is obvious, but this is not all my fault, and theres nothing i can do to convince you of that. i am not always the problem. i have made plenty of mistakes, but i know where i am going,and i know what i need to do to get there. and if you cant accept that, then we have nothing to talk about anymore. i may be an adult legally but i am not grown up, and i am in no rush to grow up, because i like my life right now, and im not going to let you make me feel like shit about it. i love life.
p.s. if you want some other good reading on me my other journal is on myspace.com you can do a search for me by looking me up by my email address: nat_e_cakes@yahoo.com
thank you and goodbye
my junior year i got kicked out of desert ridge because of a stupid mistake i made.
i decided to take percocet from one of my friends right before second period.
i knew what i was doing was wrong, but i decided to do it anyway, and in the process i hust not only myself but my family as well.
and i did not care.
in the heat of things i lied to my parents, telling them a completely different story, in attempt to save my ass, which i sucessfully did, but its something that i am not proud of whatsoever.
to all of you who thought something totally different, my sincerest apologies, there is no excuse for what i did, this i know. its something i dont think i will ever forgive myself for.
to my mother:
despite what you may think, i do care about things, lots of things. and i wish you would stop telling me that i hate this family and that i rejected you because i didnt. i rejected your rules, yes, but never you. im tired of the constant arguing and you acting fake because you fell like you are walking on eggshells because of me. thats a load of crap. there are times when i can be happy and fun, but not when you are prying into my life, playing 20 questions. i wont play that game with you anymore. the sunday dinners are something i dont think any of us are ready for. not ally, not drew, not dad and not you.
you are my family and right now we are going through a rather tough time, that is obvious, but this is not all my fault, and theres nothing i can do to convince you of that. i am not always the problem. i have made plenty of mistakes, but i know where i am going,and i know what i need to do to get there. and if you cant accept that, then we have nothing to talk about anymore. i may be an adult legally but i am not grown up, and i am in no rush to grow up, because i like my life right now, and im not going to let you make me feel like shit about it. i love life.
p.s. if you want some other good reading on me my other journal is on myspace.com you can do a search for me by looking me up by my email address: nat_e_cakes@yahoo.com
thank you and goodbye