Holy crap! I’m updating.
I know this must come as a shock to you. What’s this? What’s this? Ruth Ann updating something? Ruth Ann actually being productive for once? Well, you know what I have to say about that… Fuck you. Do you have any idea of what I’ve been going through lately? Huh? Do you? No. You don’t know a single thing about me, just what my enemies say, so fuck them and fuck you and….
Whoa. Sorry. I slipped into a Throwdown song there at the end. But look at how well it just rolls into everyday conversation. Well, maybe not the conversations you’re having, but definitely the ones I’m having.
A lot has been going on with me. I haven’t updated since the beginning of September. That seems just like yesterday. Holy Christ. Did you know it is midterm season? It is. THIS SEMESTER IS HALF OVER. Half over! Do you know what that means? That’s right. It means the semester is half over. And you thought the answer was going to be complicated.
I’m really torn about the entire idea of graduate school. It’s coming closer and it’s looming over me. It’s something I know I should do and that I’d really enjoy it, but I don’t know if I want to go right now. There are a lot of great things going on at HYAMP and I’d like to stick around for those, but I’m afraid that if I get really involved over there, that I’ll never go. I’ll get comfortable with my life and I’ll settle for a Bachelor’s degree and then the next thing I know, I’m 35 with three kids and a mini-van. And that’s fine. I think maybe, eventually, if certain things fall into place (like I’m married to a man who is worth having kids with) I would like the three kids/mini-van scenario for my life. Sadly, I’d also like to have a doctorate before the kids. It’s really weird. If you had asked me 2 years ago if I thought that at 23 (a month until my birthday exactly) I would be responsible for the finances of a new small business, going to school full time, living on my own and being responsible, I would have said you’re crazy. But all that is true.
It seems as though I’ve been spending a lot of my time down at HYAMP, which is a good thing, I’m not complaining. It’s been a lot of fun. The Throwdown and Norma Jean show was fucking amazing. I love Throwdown. They played the songs I wanted to hear, plus everything sounded so great. Matt and Slick get big ups for making one of my favorite bands sound awesome. There were a few fights, some pretty good ones, but they were taken care of. Hopefully, we will figure out a way to try to get rid of all the fighting all together, but I doubt that will happen. Though I hate it that kids can’t come out and everyone enjoy the show. We don’t need all this hardassness. It’s stupid. But it was still a lot of fun.
A lot of the work I have to do at HYAMP is all paperwork. I’m in the process of filing HYAMP for tax exemption status with the IRS. God, it’s terrible. I hate it. I’m an English major. Hopefully, by the end of May I’ll have an English degree. Unfortunately, you have to be damn near a certified public accountant to understand all this shit. But I’m trying. If I go to jail, will you come visit me? It would be really cool. You could bake a cake with a file in it like the old time movies. I could keep my virginity by paying protection money with “squares.” (that’s 1940’s prison lingo for cigarettes.) I could join Martha in the big house. Whee Hee.
Oh well. Things are going okay with me personally, I suppose. I still have some major frustration issues to work out. It seems as though I’m frustrated all the time. With school, at home, with people, with outside projects. I just need to get it in gear. I think it will change when I move out.
Oh yeah, I’m moving out. I’m getting an apartment by myself. My lease is up the 31st, so if you know of any awesome apartments that are cheap and relatively close to campus, but not close to campus, let me know. I’ll cook you dinner if you help me find a place. You rule.
One last thing. I’m writing a column for the Parthenon. They usually come out each Thursday. So far, I’ve been pretty okay with most of them. The content is half assed, but the design is great (which of course, I’m not responsible for. The Parthenon editors take care of that). Something really cool happened with it. I wrote a fashion crimes article for the back to school edition. If you want to read it, you can find it here. Well, it was a really long column and to be perfectly honest, pretty damn funny. Well, I thought so at least, but apparently, I’m what Fox News calls ‘unfair and unbalanced.’ So, you know. I’ve got this column in the school paper. That’s cool. I do what I can to be funny. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Hey! You get what you pay for.
Well, anyway, apparently, without my knowledge, the Parthenon sends out all of their articles and whatnot over the collegiate wire, meaning that any college in the U.S. who is hooked up to the wire can pick up my column and run it in their paper. Well, I was talking to Ashley and I was like “I wonder if anyone has run my column?” and she was like “I don’t know. Let me see if I can find out.” So a little bit goes by and she yelled into me “yeah, a school picked up your column. The paper is called “the Washington Square News.” So we were both curious to see where that was. I was kind of just like ‘where the hell is that?’ I figured it was going to be from some bumfuck school like ‘The Seattle Community College for Barbers and Clowns.” So Ashley did the proper thing: googled it. Comes back: NEW YORK UNIVERSITY. Fucking NYU published one of my articles in their paper. And the coolest thing about that: NYU has one of the top graduate level writing programs in the country. I am planning on applying there to graduate school. HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT? PDC (pretty damn cool). Oh well. That’s pretty cool.
On top of that, I’ve been called anti-Semitic, a bleeding heart liberal, a Kerry supporter (gasp) and a bitch. One of the Parthenon editors has class with this girl and they overheard her saying “who does that bitch think she is.” That always makes me laugh. Some guy accused me of thinking I was Stevie Wonder. Also hilarious.
So things are going pretty well I guess. I have a great Jew hating writing career going on (not true. I wouldn’t call it a career, per se.) I’ve got a rich social life: drinking beer and watching presidential debates. Plus, I’m also getting a full 4 or 5 hours a sleep a night. All in all, I’d say that my life rules.
Wait. Maybe not rules, but I’m happy with it.
STEAMLOLLER
P.S. Yeah, these .gifs have to be the funniest thing I've ever seen. I love the Lollerskates. James Awesome clued me in to these. Heelarious.