(no subject)
Hello all. I am feeling so much better. Me and Laura are doing great. I'm a little worried that she's going away to school to get her GED for like five months...but I don't think that'll be for a while so I'm not gonna worry about it. We've been talking about alot of things and we've worked out all of the problems we had. Lately it seems we can't get enough of each other.lol. I feel good. I really do. I don't think I've ever been happier. All of the problems we had in the past seem SO far away...almost like they never existed. She just...I dunno. I think she just needed time. I wish my mom would take the time to understand what a truely wonderful person she is. How much she means to me. I mean...maybe she gets into trouble every once in a while...but she loves me, and she makes me happy. And to me that's all that matters. Why can't that be the same for my mom? If I can love her so much...why can't my mom try to love her? Or at least give her a chance. She doesn't want to hurt me....shes never gonna purposely hurt me. And my mom told me she wouldn't care if she could see something good coming out of this relationship. She mentioned my grades. But she doesn't understand. Yeah...my grades haven't suddenly sprung up...but when have I ever had good grades? Not since Elementary school...But If she was around enough she'd see that I smile again. That I can get to sleep again most nights. That I'm eating again and I've begun to care about my future and where I end up and I actually feel like I have a reason to live. I may be young...but from the time you are an infant you can tell the difference between pleasure and pain. You can tell. You know what feels good and what doesn't. And being with Laura makes me feel good. And all the pain I felt is going away. It is. And if my mom really cared she would learn to see that. She would try and understand. And if she really does I guess she eventually will see that. And if she doesn't then oh well. Sorry to say it, but oh well. Because in the end it is my life. And I have to be the one to decide whats best.
So on the bad side of my day some guy was yelling "Dyke bitch" after me when I left third block. Funny thing was I don't even know him. But I've come to find out lately that somehow a lot of people I don't know somehow know me. At first I was really upset, but you know what? I dont care. I'm happy with who I am. Yes somehow I can honestly say that now. (see the good results?) I'm happy where I'm at right now. I'm in love with a beautiful girl who loves me too. I have friends who care about me and are there for me. I'm mostly healthy, I have no recent scars, I feel like I have a purpose to my life right now. So really...WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT THEY THINK? I don't care. They aren't worth it and I'm not gonna let them get to me. That would be giving them too much credit. If he wants to waste his time making himself look like an asshole than good for him, thats his problem. Alot of people seemed to be inclined to be assholes today. But I wont mention them. I'm too tired right now. lol. Bye everyone!
So on the bad side of my day some guy was yelling "Dyke bitch" after me when I left third block. Funny thing was I don't even know him. But I've come to find out lately that somehow a lot of people I don't know somehow know me. At first I was really upset, but you know what? I dont care. I'm happy with who I am. Yes somehow I can honestly say that now. (see the good results?) I'm happy where I'm at right now. I'm in love with a beautiful girl who loves me too. I have friends who care about me and are there for me. I'm mostly healthy, I have no recent scars, I feel like I have a purpose to my life right now. So really...WHO GIVES A SHIT WHAT THEY THINK? I don't care. They aren't worth it and I'm not gonna let them get to me. That would be giving them too much credit. If he wants to waste his time making himself look like an asshole than good for him, thats his problem. Alot of people seemed to be inclined to be assholes today. But I wont mention them. I'm too tired right now. lol. Bye everyone!