hello, how are you today?

[apatheial]

I've got a paper to write, and I'm avoiding that, as well as avoiding packing and making travel arrangements. I'm avoiding going to the bank, I'm avoiding thinking about anything that causes the least bit of anxiety, and I'm probably avoiding you and you and even you, for which I must apologize. I think I'm doing the right thing for myself by leaving, even if there are obvious reasons why it's not an ideal situation. I need to take my time, but I feel still as if I'm in a perpetual struggle to "catch up" - with what I couldn't say. This is a scary thing to be doing, but I'm not weak, though if I let myself avoid and forget I drift into some sort of passive state or other. I think it's usually safe to judge my state of mind based on the coherency of my writing. So if this is awkwardly phrased/worded or anything like that... I don't feel like I'm all here right now. A lot of entries here are probably like that, because I avoid posting until I have to spew some nonsense or inane quiz or meme, hoorah! Honestly though, what I've just written is blowing things out of proportion, overall I've been feeling ok, and I think it's pretty natural for me to be scared shitless over this much change, because that's the kind of person I am. But I'm pretty sure that everything is going to be ok (optimism? from me? *GASP*).

P.S. mood given is new rediscovered favorite word