(no subject)
this house no longer feels like a home anymore
this life no longer my own
ghosts all around me dance circles in front of my eyes like smoke from a newly lit cigarette
twisting its silvery wings towards the sky
they tease me with what the future may hold
and spur me with what the past once was
my mind twists and shudders with an infants curiosity and an elders caution
forcing my eyes to look on while holding my hand still
I see my dreams dangling right in front of me
the possibility for freedom
from my responsibilities and from my pain.
from my guilt and dissapointment.
from his presence always pressing down on me, crippling my drive and my hopes.
But what of this town ive grown accustomed to?
what of the memories and the open minded streets?
long have these paths been dug by tired feet
will they grow different from my abscence?
will i return to find them trecked by someone else and the forest i once knew no longer frighteningly familiar?
I have to be bold this time
Too many opportunities let go,too many chances lost
will i find my answers in this new setting, will i finally feel a connection and allow myself to settle into feeling of peaceful attachment?
I do not make this journey alone i hope
a new refreshing life breathes in mine
a spirit that brings more joy to my life that i thought imaginable at this time
a person whos mind and heart entrap me in their warmth and strip me of all my defenses leaving me raw and vulnerable
But i do not fear this vulnerability
Its been a long time since ive been able to trust
im ready to let go of the past and forget my fears and just fall
Im uncertain of the outcome but for once im ready to put faith in the plunge
....and it feels good
this life no longer my own
ghosts all around me dance circles in front of my eyes like smoke from a newly lit cigarette
twisting its silvery wings towards the sky
they tease me with what the future may hold
and spur me with what the past once was
my mind twists and shudders with an infants curiosity and an elders caution
forcing my eyes to look on while holding my hand still
I see my dreams dangling right in front of me
the possibility for freedom
from my responsibilities and from my pain.
from my guilt and dissapointment.
from his presence always pressing down on me, crippling my drive and my hopes.
But what of this town ive grown accustomed to?
what of the memories and the open minded streets?
long have these paths been dug by tired feet
will they grow different from my abscence?
will i return to find them trecked by someone else and the forest i once knew no longer frighteningly familiar?
I have to be bold this time
Too many opportunities let go,too many chances lost
will i find my answers in this new setting, will i finally feel a connection and allow myself to settle into feeling of peaceful attachment?
I do not make this journey alone i hope
a new refreshing life breathes in mine
a spirit that brings more joy to my life that i thought imaginable at this time
a person whos mind and heart entrap me in their warmth and strip me of all my defenses leaving me raw and vulnerable
But i do not fear this vulnerability
Its been a long time since ive been able to trust
im ready to let go of the past and forget my fears and just fall
Im uncertain of the outcome but for once im ready to put faith in the plunge
....and it feels good