oh geez
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK
(X) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT
(X) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN TO JAPAN
(X) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC (parking counts, yes?)
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED
(_) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(_) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(X) I NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(_) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(_) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(_) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(X) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(X) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(_) I NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE (SOME YEAR SAM!)
(_) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(X) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(X) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER (right now, so hott)
(_) I NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE
(X) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(_) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER (do they mean literally? because I have slept with my sister)
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FISTED AND/OR HAVE NEVER FISTED ANYONE
(X) I NEVER HAVE THROWN UP IN A BAR (damn it)
(_) I NEVER HAVE PURPOSELY SET A PART OF MYSELF ON FIRE (not on purpose, no)
(_) I NEVER HAVE EATEN SUSHI (thank god)
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN SNOWBOARDING
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN HAPPY WITH MYSELF
(X) I NEVER HAVE WATCHED PORN (HAHA...Alia...)
(_) I NEVER HAVE FANTASIZED ABOUT SLEEPING WITH A CARTOON AND/OR COMIC CHARACTER
(_) I NEVER HAVE OUT AND OUT LIED ON A RESUME TO GET A JOB
(_) I NEVER HAVE JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE
(_) I NEVER ATE MY OWN FECES
(_) I NEVER KNIFED ANYONE
(X) I NEVER LEFT WORK EARLY BECAUSE IT WAS BORING
(_) I NEVER THOUGHT MEG RYAN WAS THE HOTTEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD
(_) I NEVER HAD A BUNCH OF ANGRY MONKEYS THROW POOP AT ME
(_) I NEVER SLEPT WITH SOMEONE UNDERAGE
(_) I NEVER HAVE BLED FROM THE EYE
(_) I NEVER HAD A CAR KEY IMPALED IN MY HAND
(_) I NEVER VOTED BUSH
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX IN A MOVIE THEATER
(_) I NEVER HAVE SHIT MYSELF
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN SWIMMING IN THE DETROIT RIVER
(_) I'VE NEVER DECLARED BANKRUPTCY
(_) I'VE NEVER BOWLED A 300 GAME
(_) I'VE NEVER KICKED OUT A ROOMMATE
(X) I'VE NEVER FALLEN DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS
(_) I'VE NEVER LET A BAND FROM OUT OF TOWN STAY AT MY HOUSE OR APARTMENT
(_) I'VE NEVER HAD "MAJOR" SURGERY
(_) I'VE NEVER FALLEN ASLEEP WHILE DRIVING
(_) I'VE NEVER SOLD CD'S BECAUSE I WAS BROKE
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN BITTEN BY A LARGE DOG
(X) I'VE NEVER HAD SOMEONE CALL THE COPS BECAUSE MY PARTY/STEREO WAS TOO LOUD (security counts right?)
(X) I'VE NEVER SIPHONED GAS FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S CAR (but they knew about it)
(_) I'VE NEVER DITCHED OUT ON A RESTARAUNT CHECK
(X) I'VE NEVER TOLD SOMEONE ELSE I HATED THEM
(_) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WHILE SOMEONE WATCHED
(_) I'VE NEVER WATCHED TWO PEOPLE HAVE SEX
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN A HOSTAGE
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A COVER BAND
(X) I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY PLAYED GOLF
(X) I'VE NEVER CAUGHT A BIG-ASS FISH
(X) I'VE NEVER SLEPT FOR OVER 16 HOURS
(X) I'VE NEVER FALLEN ASLEEP DURING A LECTURE
(_) I'VE NEVER TOLD MY BOSS HE/SHE COULD "FUCK THEMSELVES"
(X) I'VE NEVER WOKE UP SCREAMING FROM A NIGHTMARE
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN EVICTED FROM A HOUSE OR APARTMENT
(X) I'VE NEVER WORN A COSTUME OUTSIDE WHEN IT WASN'T HALLOWEEN
(_) I'VE NEVER PURCHASED PORNOGRAPHY FROM A BONA FIDE PORNOGRAPHY STORE (not just the liquor store)
(_) I'VE NEVER HAD TO GET A LAWYER
(_) I'VE NEVER FOUND A $20 BILL IN THE LAUNDRY
(X) I'VE NEVER READ A WHOLE BOOK IN ONE SITTING
(_) I'VE NEVER RAN MY CAR OUT OF GAS
(X) I'VE NEVER HALLUCINATED FROM THE EFFECTS OF DRUGS (oops)
(X) I'VE NEVER HAD A TOOTH PULLED
(X) I'VE NEVER SEEN "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE"
(X) I'VE NEVER HAD A NORMAL PET LIKE A CAT OR DOG
(X) I'VE NEVER HAD AN EXOTIC PET LIKE A SNAKE, LIZARD OR CONGRESSMAN
(_) I'VE NEVER VOTED IN A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION
(X) I'VE NEVER GOTTEN CITRUS JUICE IN MY EYE
(_) I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING STUPID JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DARED ME TO DO IT
(_) I'VE NEVER SMOKED A WHOLE PACK AT THE BAR
(_) I'VE NEVER DRIVEN MORE THAN 2 HOURS TO SEE A BAND OR CONCERT
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I'VE NEVER MASTURBATED WHILE DRIVING
(_) I'VE NEVER EATEN DOG FOOD
(_) I'VE NEVER MASTURBATED WHILE MY ROOMMATE WAS GETTING SOME IN THE NEXT ROOM
(_) I'VE NEVER PURPOSELY RUN OVER AN ANIMAL WHILE DRIVING
(X) I'VE NEVER WATCHED THE DAVE CHAPELLE SHOW
(_) I'VE NEVER "EXPRESSED JOY"
(_) I'VE NEVER JOINED A FRATERNITY
(_) I'VE NEVER STAYED ENTIRELY OUTDOORS FOR SIX STRAIGHT DAYS
(_) I'VE NEVER FALLEN ASLEEP IN A PATCH OF CLOVERS
(_) I'VE NEVER KISSED A CELEBRITY (EVEN ON THE CHEEK)
(X) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT
(X) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN TO JAPAN
(X) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC (parking counts, yes?)
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED
(_) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(_) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(X) I NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(_) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(_) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(_) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(X) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(X) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(_) I NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE (SOME YEAR SAM!)
(_) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(X) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(X) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER (right now, so hott)
(_) I NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE
(X) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(_) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER (do they mean literally? because I have slept with my sister)
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FISTED AND/OR HAVE NEVER FISTED ANYONE
(X) I NEVER HAVE THROWN UP IN A BAR (damn it)
(_) I NEVER HAVE PURPOSELY SET A PART OF MYSELF ON FIRE (not on purpose, no)
(_) I NEVER HAVE EATEN SUSHI (thank god)
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN SNOWBOARDING
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN HAPPY WITH MYSELF
(X) I NEVER HAVE WATCHED PORN (HAHA...Alia...)
(_) I NEVER HAVE FANTASIZED ABOUT SLEEPING WITH A CARTOON AND/OR COMIC CHARACTER
(_) I NEVER HAVE OUT AND OUT LIED ON A RESUME TO GET A JOB
(_) I NEVER HAVE JUMPED OUT OF AN AIRPLANE
(_) I NEVER ATE MY OWN FECES
(_) I NEVER KNIFED ANYONE
(X) I NEVER LEFT WORK EARLY BECAUSE IT WAS BORING
(_) I NEVER THOUGHT MEG RYAN WAS THE HOTTEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD
(_) I NEVER HAD A BUNCH OF ANGRY MONKEYS THROW POOP AT ME
(_) I NEVER SLEPT WITH SOMEONE UNDERAGE
(_) I NEVER HAVE BLED FROM THE EYE
(_) I NEVER HAD A CAR KEY IMPALED IN MY HAND
(_) I NEVER VOTED BUSH
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX IN A MOVIE THEATER
(_) I NEVER HAVE SHIT MYSELF
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN SWIMMING IN THE DETROIT RIVER
(_) I'VE NEVER DECLARED BANKRUPTCY
(_) I'VE NEVER BOWLED A 300 GAME
(_) I'VE NEVER KICKED OUT A ROOMMATE
(X) I'VE NEVER FALLEN DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS
(_) I'VE NEVER LET A BAND FROM OUT OF TOWN STAY AT MY HOUSE OR APARTMENT
(_) I'VE NEVER HAD "MAJOR" SURGERY
(_) I'VE NEVER FALLEN ASLEEP WHILE DRIVING
(_) I'VE NEVER SOLD CD'S BECAUSE I WAS BROKE
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN BITTEN BY A LARGE DOG
(X) I'VE NEVER HAD SOMEONE CALL THE COPS BECAUSE MY PARTY/STEREO WAS TOO LOUD (security counts right?)
(X) I'VE NEVER SIPHONED GAS FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S CAR (but they knew about it)
(_) I'VE NEVER DITCHED OUT ON A RESTARAUNT CHECK
(X) I'VE NEVER TOLD SOMEONE ELSE I HATED THEM
(_) I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WHILE SOMEONE WATCHED
(_) I'VE NEVER WATCHED TWO PEOPLE HAVE SEX
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN A HOSTAGE
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A COVER BAND
(X) I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY PLAYED GOLF
(X) I'VE NEVER CAUGHT A BIG-ASS FISH
(X) I'VE NEVER SLEPT FOR OVER 16 HOURS
(X) I'VE NEVER FALLEN ASLEEP DURING A LECTURE
(_) I'VE NEVER TOLD MY BOSS HE/SHE COULD "FUCK THEMSELVES"
(X) I'VE NEVER WOKE UP SCREAMING FROM A NIGHTMARE
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN EVICTED FROM A HOUSE OR APARTMENT
(X) I'VE NEVER WORN A COSTUME OUTSIDE WHEN IT WASN'T HALLOWEEN
(_) I'VE NEVER PURCHASED PORNOGRAPHY FROM A BONA FIDE PORNOGRAPHY STORE (not just the liquor store)
(_) I'VE NEVER HAD TO GET A LAWYER
(_) I'VE NEVER FOUND A $20 BILL IN THE LAUNDRY
(X) I'VE NEVER READ A WHOLE BOOK IN ONE SITTING
(_) I'VE NEVER RAN MY CAR OUT OF GAS
(X) I'VE NEVER HALLUCINATED FROM THE EFFECTS OF DRUGS (oops)
(X) I'VE NEVER HAD A TOOTH PULLED
(X) I'VE NEVER SEEN "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE"
(X) I'VE NEVER HAD A NORMAL PET LIKE A CAT OR DOG
(X) I'VE NEVER HAD AN EXOTIC PET LIKE A SNAKE, LIZARD OR CONGRESSMAN
(_) I'VE NEVER VOTED IN A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION
(X) I'VE NEVER GOTTEN CITRUS JUICE IN MY EYE
(_) I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING STUPID JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DARED ME TO DO IT
(_) I'VE NEVER SMOKED A WHOLE PACK AT THE BAR
(_) I'VE NEVER DRIVEN MORE THAN 2 HOURS TO SEE A BAND OR CONCERT
(_) I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I'VE NEVER MASTURBATED WHILE DRIVING
(_) I'VE NEVER EATEN DOG FOOD
(_) I'VE NEVER MASTURBATED WHILE MY ROOMMATE WAS GETTING SOME IN THE NEXT ROOM
(_) I'VE NEVER PURPOSELY RUN OVER AN ANIMAL WHILE DRIVING
(X) I'VE NEVER WATCHED THE DAVE CHAPELLE SHOW
(_) I'VE NEVER "EXPRESSED JOY"
(_) I'VE NEVER JOINED A FRATERNITY
(_) I'VE NEVER STAYED ENTIRELY OUTDOORS FOR SIX STRAIGHT DAYS
(_) I'VE NEVER FALLEN ASLEEP IN A PATCH OF CLOVERS
(_) I'VE NEVER KISSED A CELEBRITY (EVEN ON THE CHEEK)