Another short exerpt from a story I'm working on...
I’m flying. It’s a typical dream, one I have at least once a week. I run along meadows, with the sunny blue sky above, running as fast as I can until I take off, feeling exhilarated at being able to defy gravity. This time, however, someone is chasing me. I shiver in my bed, feeling an unusual feeling of fright in this dream that usually gives me so much hope. I turn around, and see that it is one of my enemies from school. The look on his face is malicious, his big white body gaining on me every second. We reach the ground again, and this time we are running on the road. I am sprinting as fast as I can, caught up in a personal zone where nothing can touch me. I speed away from my component, and wake up, deciding I am going to be a sprinter. That decision lasts for about ten minutes.
* * *
6 o’clock. Monday morning. I lie in bed, snuggled in with my Bunny, a stuffed rabbit I have slept with every night, apart from sleepovers and two years during my sulky early teenage years, and pull the blanket closer to my neck. I tentatively touch my face, smiling slightly as the face mask I used on my pimples yesterday has obviously had effect. Then I begin my daily battle. To eat, or not to eat, is one of the questions that first pops into my mind. This is accompanied with the picture of Kit Kats, the most easily accessible food in our house, and then the smell of the donuts on sale at school at break time. I then think about eating healthily, cereal then a sandwich for lunch, and perhaps a touch of exercise. I always ponder about what I would be like if I had followed this route when I first thought about it, which must be over four years ago. Then I think about not eating all day, the power I feel when I see fat people chomping down chips and chocolate bars, and the hatred I feel for skinny people who do the same. But usually on Monday mornings, I think about my family. I think about how much I love them and how I’m going to be nicer to my mum, and work harder for my dad, and how I won’t go out on the weekend so I can spend more time with them. The minute I get out of bed, I start to feel selfish. I start questioning the voices in my head, contradicting with each other as I walk to have a shower or get changed. This day, I will either break and fail, or succeed and flourish. I will either eat, or not eat. I will either work hard, or be lazy. I will either cry, or remain happy all day. It all depends, on me.
* * *
6 o’clock. Monday morning. I lie in bed, snuggled in with my Bunny, a stuffed rabbit I have slept with every night, apart from sleepovers and two years during my sulky early teenage years, and pull the blanket closer to my neck. I tentatively touch my face, smiling slightly as the face mask I used on my pimples yesterday has obviously had effect. Then I begin my daily battle. To eat, or not to eat, is one of the questions that first pops into my mind. This is accompanied with the picture of Kit Kats, the most easily accessible food in our house, and then the smell of the donuts on sale at school at break time. I then think about eating healthily, cereal then a sandwich for lunch, and perhaps a touch of exercise. I always ponder about what I would be like if I had followed this route when I first thought about it, which must be over four years ago. Then I think about not eating all day, the power I feel when I see fat people chomping down chips and chocolate bars, and the hatred I feel for skinny people who do the same. But usually on Monday mornings, I think about my family. I think about how much I love them and how I’m going to be nicer to my mum, and work harder for my dad, and how I won’t go out on the weekend so I can spend more time with them. The minute I get out of bed, I start to feel selfish. I start questioning the voices in my head, contradicting with each other as I walk to have a shower or get changed. This day, I will either break and fail, or succeed and flourish. I will either eat, or not eat. I will either work hard, or be lazy. I will either cry, or remain happy all day. It all depends, on me.