It's been a day
Before I get to today's content, it dawned on me, when I was sifting through my massive email backlog (including LJ comments I still intended to respond to) that I never thanked everyone who had left me birthday messages. Y'know, 3.5 weeks ago. :-P I apologize for appearing ungrateful - I really did appreciate your words of good cheer. ♥
Today just felt ... draining. Failed run, weeping, emotional kid, cleaning, errands, dog health issues, dinner, and almost all of it I had to deal with on my own.
I set my alarm so I could go for a long-ish run (having not done one for two weeks - last weekend I bailed at 3.5 miles after multiple interruptions and time demands) before it got too hot. However, the cold I've picked up from Will had me feeling really run down this morning, so I turned off the alarm and went back to sleep for another 90 mins. I'm not really that sick, but my pharynx is irritated, I'm mildly sniffly and, like I said, I was just exhausted after all the driving/burgeoning illness. So, I feel bad for not running.
Two had an emotional meltdown after lunch, upset at any mention of his younger life, when he was [girl name]/girl public identity. He talked about his feelings MUCH better than he has in the past, which was good, but it was also heartbreaking. I'm sure that coming off a week where he had total acceptance and didn't have to worry about anyone blowing his cover - it's hard to go back to Real Life again. The core people around him all accept him, and he's received a lot of positive feedback to the name-change announcement we sent out, but he is terrified that it's just going to take ONE kid from elementary school to blow his cover at middle school, and then his life will be hell again. He put up such a front in 5th grade - I know he was often annoyed at people, but he never let on the toll it really took on him. He's dreading having to cope with it yet again at middle school, the minute some old acquaintance tells new friends that he used to be a girl.
[On the other hand, the 7th-grade daughter of our puppy-sitter finally cottoned on to Two's trans status after we swung by to pick up Jade last night. She not only processed it and accepted it, but declared to her mom that if anyone picked on Two at school, she'd whup their ass. (And she could, too - she's a big, brawny tomboy who has already put an older kid in a headlock for bullying her brother.) So, that was positive, at least.]
I spent most of the afternoon - after listening to Two and getting him calm again - helping him clean his room. I had really just intended to help him unpack, but his room was such a disaster, we had to clean it before we could even get to that point. Yes, I did more work than he did, but he did, at least, participate.
Will spent the first half of the afternoon doing yardwork in the blazing heat, and then the latter half of the afternoon riding the bike, so he was out of the picture for most of this, except for a chunk of the meltdown. Meanwhile, MiniPlu had a couple of old friends over this afternoon - people she's largely drifted away from but invited over because an old friend was in town (moved to MN three years ago) and wanted to see as much of the "old gang" as possible. Thankfully, everyone had a good time and it kept her occupied while Two cried and we both cleaned.
However, about an hour before dinner, the puppy barfed. She did have a case of semi-runs earlier, but has otherwise behaved pretty normally (even racing around in the yard and cheerfully pouncing on Nala during our walk this evening), so I don't know what she ate that upset her, or if it was just the excitement of getting home again, or what. She does seem to have a somewhat touchier tummy than our other dogs. Anyway, I'd discovered the poop down near the basement (on carpeting) not half an hour prior to this, and had cleaned it up - and then I had to clean up the barf (on carpeting), too. Thank goodness I'm not nearly as twitchy about pet barf as I used to be, but it still wasn't exactly a picnic, and we kept her corralled in the kitchen for the next several hours. She got rice for dinner.
I had to make dinner (grilled teriyaki turkey "steaks" wrapped in bacon) on my own - normally Will mans the grill but, like I said, he was on the bike. And I did dishes. And ran a couple of errands. And did more laundry. And forgot what pronoun to use for a friend's trans daughter. Gah, I just feel totally wrung out today, emotionally. I know I just saw my husband a LOT this past week, but I felt emotionally clingy today and, alas, had to mostly go without.
Also, I cannot decide if it's worth still doing a post-interview follow-up note to the principal and librarian. It was a full week ago, and they could send me a "thanks but no thanks" note at any moment, so I would hate to go expressing my keenness at this late date, if that's the case. But maybe it's not too late and I should do it anyway? (This is what Will thinks.) Do I really want the job that badly? I wouldn't mind the income, but I confess that I'm really uncertain about the "rightness" of this job, and I want to cry when I think about leaving "my" librarian. I wish I could get paid for my old "job". Wibble.
And I still don't know when I should visit my dad, without impacting goings-on at home too much.
Today just felt ... draining. Failed run, weeping, emotional kid, cleaning, errands, dog health issues, dinner, and almost all of it I had to deal with on my own.
I set my alarm so I could go for a long-ish run (having not done one for two weeks - last weekend I bailed at 3.5 miles after multiple interruptions and time demands) before it got too hot. However, the cold I've picked up from Will had me feeling really run down this morning, so I turned off the alarm and went back to sleep for another 90 mins. I'm not really that sick, but my pharynx is irritated, I'm mildly sniffly and, like I said, I was just exhausted after all the driving/burgeoning illness. So, I feel bad for not running.
Two had an emotional meltdown after lunch, upset at any mention of his younger life, when he was [girl name]/girl public identity. He talked about his feelings MUCH better than he has in the past, which was good, but it was also heartbreaking. I'm sure that coming off a week where he had total acceptance and didn't have to worry about anyone blowing his cover - it's hard to go back to Real Life again. The core people around him all accept him, and he's received a lot of positive feedback to the name-change announcement we sent out, but he is terrified that it's just going to take ONE kid from elementary school to blow his cover at middle school, and then his life will be hell again. He put up such a front in 5th grade - I know he was often annoyed at people, but he never let on the toll it really took on him. He's dreading having to cope with it yet again at middle school, the minute some old acquaintance tells new friends that he used to be a girl.
[On the other hand, the 7th-grade daughter of our puppy-sitter finally cottoned on to Two's trans status after we swung by to pick up Jade last night. She not only processed it and accepted it, but declared to her mom that if anyone picked on Two at school, she'd whup their ass. (And she could, too - she's a big, brawny tomboy who has already put an older kid in a headlock for bullying her brother.) So, that was positive, at least.]
I spent most of the afternoon - after listening to Two and getting him calm again - helping him clean his room. I had really just intended to help him unpack, but his room was such a disaster, we had to clean it before we could even get to that point. Yes, I did more work than he did, but he did, at least, participate.
Will spent the first half of the afternoon doing yardwork in the blazing heat, and then the latter half of the afternoon riding the bike, so he was out of the picture for most of this, except for a chunk of the meltdown. Meanwhile, MiniPlu had a couple of old friends over this afternoon - people she's largely drifted away from but invited over because an old friend was in town (moved to MN three years ago) and wanted to see as much of the "old gang" as possible. Thankfully, everyone had a good time and it kept her occupied while Two cried and we both cleaned.
However, about an hour before dinner, the puppy barfed. She did have a case of semi-runs earlier, but has otherwise behaved pretty normally (even racing around in the yard and cheerfully pouncing on Nala during our walk this evening), so I don't know what she ate that upset her, or if it was just the excitement of getting home again, or what. She does seem to have a somewhat touchier tummy than our other dogs. Anyway, I'd discovered the poop down near the basement (on carpeting) not half an hour prior to this, and had cleaned it up - and then I had to clean up the barf (on carpeting), too. Thank goodness I'm not nearly as twitchy about pet barf as I used to be, but it still wasn't exactly a picnic, and we kept her corralled in the kitchen for the next several hours. She got rice for dinner.
I had to make dinner (grilled teriyaki turkey "steaks" wrapped in bacon) on my own - normally Will mans the grill but, like I said, he was on the bike. And I did dishes. And ran a couple of errands. And did more laundry. And forgot what pronoun to use for a friend's trans daughter. Gah, I just feel totally wrung out today, emotionally. I know I just saw my husband a LOT this past week, but I felt emotionally clingy today and, alas, had to mostly go without.
Also, I cannot decide if it's worth still doing a post-interview follow-up note to the principal and librarian. It was a full week ago, and they could send me a "thanks but no thanks" note at any moment, so I would hate to go expressing my keenness at this late date, if that's the case. But maybe it's not too late and I should do it anyway? (This is what Will thinks.) Do I really want the job that badly? I wouldn't mind the income, but I confess that I'm really uncertain about the "rightness" of this job, and I want to cry when I think about leaving "my" librarian. I wish I could get paid for my old "job". Wibble.
And I still don't know when I should visit my dad, without impacting goings-on at home too much.