July 5th, 2007
* JULY 5th, 2007
Everyone seems to have different opinions on the topic of love. Like there are people who think there is a one and only person for them, that everyone is entitled to a soul mate. When we are younger we are mislead by the fantasies created by the classic fairy tales by Disney and others. However that's all they ever are they are nothing more then fantasies because Disney and other people have pretty much told what the happy endings are and that every fairy tale couple have one. They never show you the real happy ending.
I'm only writing this out of boredom and I've been reflecting way too much here. Many people think that as teens are don't really know or even feel what love is they think it's all in your hormones. I knew this boy once who with him I could do anything. When I was with him I had never been happier and even if I was having a terrible day just talking to him or thinking of a memory made everything okay. People say you can never forget your first love no matter how hard you try to. I think I would've been better off to forget about everything however the pain that I was put through when he chose someone else over me was etched into my memories no matter how hard I try to forget the pain will always remain.
Everyone always tell me I look depressed or I seem depressed mostly when I'm not with my friends. I think to much about what I could've done wrong and all the things that might've been different, but nothing will ever change. It's impossible to change the past no matter what anyone says. So then when I got to High school I got a crush on someone new in hopes that maybe I would find someone who liked me for just being me.
In school I guess you could say I'm kind of the loner I only talk when I have friends in a class that's just how I've always been, so when I'm in classes by myself, I normally reflect on life and it's not always fun. If some random person comes up talking to me I won't give them the time of day, if anything I'll just stare until they go away.
*cough* Anyways, I began to like someone new. Someone completely out of my social group and to my friends who knew who I liked told me not to even try because he'd never notice me. Unfortunately I didn't take their advice and just set myself up for more humiliation. When my one friend told the guy I liked about me that's when everything started to crumble. Then everything came crashing down one day, which just happened to be the same day that the guy I mentioned before this part of my love life chose the other girl over me. I was already having a terrible day; I won't say why it's embarrassing for me anyways. I asked a friend to take me home because I was upset and didn't want to ride the bus so she said okay and when we were leaving an unexpected turn of events happened between the guy I was crushing and his best friend, who tried to embarrass me. That day when I got home I just cried forever it was terrible which is why I always dreadJanuary 3rd for those who didn't notice, things just always seem to go wrong for me on that day. Anyways a few weeks later the guy rejected me but he was nice about it so I wasn't that upset over it, I mean he could've been a complete ass about it.
In life I was told whenever your in love you should always cherish it while it lasts because you can never have the same love again even if you get back with the one person that either rejected or dumped you nothing stays the same the fairy tale happy endings just never seem to exist in my book. For those that are in love at the moment & think the person doesn't notice them, you should just tell them, they'll never know unless you let your voice be heard and maybe just maybe they'll love you in return.
:] Sorry just had to reflect.
~ Brit