Title: I’m Trying Just to Keep Things Right
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
Rating: PG at most, probably
Pairing: Kyouya/Kaoru, mentioned Tamaki/Haruhi, one-sided Kyouya/Tamaki and Hikaru/Haruhi
Chapter: 1/1
Word Count: 1005
Summary: “We’re both alone. But maybe we’d be less alone if we were alone together.”
Disclaimer: I don’t own OHSHC, of course. This is all for my own amusement (and hopefully the enjoyment of whomever decides to read this)
Notes: Once Upon a Time, I had a Songfic!project that kind of didn’t go anywhere. It was some multi-fandom extravaganza that I lost inspiration for, but this was one of the fics to come out of it as I haven’t written KyouKao in forever. Enjoy :D
I’m Trying Just to Keep Things Right
What’s your vice? You know that mine’s the illusion
In the years since Kaoru had gotten to know him, the young red-head had only seen the older man break his façade of indifference for one person, and he had his suspicions that there was more to that relationship than met the eye at the best of times.
Today was different, though. It was the end of an era or the start of one, and Kaoru found himself examining his outfit in the mirror, smoothing down the lines of his black waistcoat and idly tucking a stray hair back into place. Hardly necessary now that the wedding was over, but it was only proper that he still looked presentable (Hikaru had gone to pot hours ago and was dead drunk by this point; something about the woman he loved marrying an idiot, but Kaoru had learned to ignore his brother by now).
So don’t sit still, don’t you move away from here
The door to the washroom opened silently and, although Kaoru was fairly sure he imagined it, a chill wind preceded the bathroom’s most current occupant. “Kyouya.”
“How’d you know?”
“Instinct?” Kaoru glared at the mirror, trying in vain to stop that one piece of hair from sticking up.
“Instinct.”
“The air temperature tends to plummet when you enter a room Sen-Kyouya,” he corrected, years of calling the older male by the honorary title still ingrained into him. “Not happy with the marriage?”
“It’s been coming for too long,” Kyouya replied, stepping up to the counter and glancing sideways at Kaoru, who abandoned his task and met the older man’s stormy eyes.
“You still…never mind.”
“Go ahead. I still what?”
“It’s far too personal and an assumption on my part.”
“Then amuse me. God knows I could use some amusement,” Kyouya chuckled wryly.
“Tamaki.”
“Yes?”
“You love him.”
“You know, there are times I forget how completely unlike your brother you are,” Kyouya half-smiled at him. “And no. Past tense.”
“Loved, then,” Kaoru corrected automatically.
So, goodbye, apathy; so long, fancy-free
“It was futile,” Kyouya finally said. Kaoru had gone back to glaring at his hair and the comment surprised him. “It was,” Kyouya repeated, catching his eye once more. “Why put myself through it when I knew I could never have him?”
“And he was…what? Too obtuse to notice the depth of your feelings?”
“That’s absurdly poetic and melodramatic,” Kyouya snorted. “But yes. That does sum it up nicely. And you?”
“Me.”
“Yes.”
“I think I know what you’re going to ask, and no, Kyouya, I didn’t,” Kaoru’s voice was marginally frosty.
“You can’t blame me for inquiring,” Kyouya’s tone was equally icy.
“It was an act. Nothing more. I’m not…narcissistic enough to fall in love with my own image,” Kaoru added with a sly smile. “And Hikaru’s an idiot, besides. I love him, of course I do, but I’m not in love with him.”
“Big difference?”
“Huge,” Kaoru finally, finally got the hair into place and sighed happily. “There.”
It’s breaking ice now to make any movement
“So when you implied back in high school that you were in love with Haruhi, that was a lie?”
Kaoru turned from the mirror and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Yes and no. No, because I’d never met anybody like her and I was in love with the idea of that, but…no. Not like Hikaru was.”
“Is?”
“Well, he is pretty drunk,” Kaoru conceded. “And even he doesn’t tell me everything.”
“So you’re growing apart.”
“We’re not connected at the hip, Kyouya,” Kaoru reminded him with a laugh. “And yes, we’ve always been different. We put up a façade out in public, but…we’re nothing alike. We don’t even like the same sex.”
“I’m surprised you volunteered that information.”
“You were going to ask me about it regardless,” Kaoru rationalized. “May as well get it out there.”
“Does that mean you’ve found somebody?”
“No,” the younger man shook his head. “Not anybody right, in any case.”
I could be happy here, as long as you’re near to me
As long as you’re close to me
“Maybe we’ve been looking too hard for perfection,” he finally stated.
“Tamaki is anything but perfect,” Kyouya countered, pushing his glasses up in a gesture Kaoru found all-too-familiar.
“Not to the world. But he’s all you wanted and you’ve never looked for anything else. Am I right?”
“From the smug undertones in your voice, I think you already know,” Kyouya responded dryly.
“So,” Kaoru absently shifted until he was standing close enough to touch, idly leaning one hand back on the counter. “Here we are. Two young men at a wedding, alone, having a heart-to-heart in the washroom.”
“It is rather sad now that you put it that way,” Kyouya spared him a quick glance before all but ignoring him again, but he moved his hand back ever-so-slightly. “What are you proposing?”
“Just…in one way or another, we’re both alone. No matter how close Hikaru and I are, there are some things I could never share with him,” Kaoru glanced down at the floor, brushing a speck of imaginary dust off of his pantleg.
“We’re both alone,” Kyouya echoed.
“Yeah. But maybe…”
“Maybe what?” Kyouya turned his head fully this time, slate-grey eyes meeting golden ones, and he smiled ever-so-slightly, sliding his hand over farther until his fingers touched Kaoru’s.
Kaoru took that as a sign and slid his hand to cover the older man’s, returning the smile as a hint of his old mischief crept into his expression. “Maybe we’d be less alone if we were alone together. C’mon, let’s go dance. They’ll wonder,” he hopped up and tugged Kyouya, who was naturally protesting, out of the washroom and back into the reception area.
Kyouya, if anything, looked mildly flustered, and Kaoru figured that it wasn’t quite the reaction he gave Tamaki on a regular basis, but it was a start.
And that was more than enough.
Goodbye, apathy. I don’t wanna be you.
Additional Notes: The song “Apathy” is by OneRepublic and you can listen to it at
This Link Also, all reviews/comments/what-have-yous are greatly loved and appreciated. ^_^