This Is Your Life: Chapter Twenty-Three
Sanji was reminded rather forcibly why he hated clubs.
Sure, he loved to flirt with women, but there was a difference between them blushing and giggling and them attempting to get into his pants.
Literally get into his pants, in the case of the current black-haired beauty who had stumbled over after only one coy look. He wasn’t quite sure how any of this was a signal to her that he was looking for a bedmate, but she was a decent kisser.
He had to push her away when she started working on his belt, though, and she gave him an adorable pout before her friends called her back and she stumbled away. Sanji sighed and slumped against the wall; the pounding music was giving him a headache, and he couldn’t even drink that much if he wanted to be sober enough to remember all of the lines in Nami’s script.
Forget it, he thought irritably, downing his glass of pinot noir. Knowing Zoro, he wouldn’t have learned the script, and he doubted that the two of them would stick to it anyway: there would be plenty of improvisation if he had anything to say about it.
After he had shaken the persistent girl, he wandered back to the rear of the club and plopped onto a barstool with a groan.
“Well, somebody could have gotten some tonight.”
Sanji blinked and glanced up, meeting the eyes of a dark-haired man who had slid onto a stool beside him.
“Yeah, don’t feel like it,” he shrugged.
“Relationship problems?”
“You could say that.”
“And yet you’re not willing to cheat,” the man sounded mildly impressed.
“He has problems with me, not the other way around,” Sanji grunted, realizing a moment later that he’d said ‘he’.
“You’re in love.”
“Gee, thanks, Sherlock. I really needed you to tell me that,” the cook fiddled with his lighter and wished he could light up inside the club.
“Hey, don’t be so testy,” the other man spoke softly, and Sanji looked at him fully for the first time. He was attractive, Sanji supposed, if you were into stereotypical ‘bad boys.’ His hair was dyed almost midnight-black and his pale blue eyes were highlighted with dark eyeliner. He had piercings in both of his ears and when he reached to grab his drink Sanji saw his hands and arms were tattooed. “I’m Law, by the way. Law Trafalgar.”
“Sanji Blackleg,” Sanji nodded quickly.
“You look like you have a story to tell, Mr. Blackleg,” Law raised an eyebrow and leant forward.
“Don’t we all.”
“You look like you need some fresh ears to listen to your story, Mr. Blackleg,” Law amended with a wryly amused chuckle.
“Maybe I do,” Sanji admitted, the faint buzz of alcohol running through him giving him a hint of overconfidence. He was quite certain that this man was not in any way connected to Krieg, and truth be told telling his story to somebody new might help to calm his nerves.
“Care to tell it?” Law’s voice dropped a little, although he had such a mild tenor to begin with that it hardly sounded intimidating.
“Maybe. I’ve got some time,” Sanji admitted, setting his empty glass on the table.
“Enlighten me, then,” Law smiled at him, and Sanji obliged.
000
“Your boyfriend, Mr. Blackleg, is an idiot,” was Law’s succinct summary of the conversation. “My boyfriend,” he paused dramatically, “…is also an idiot, but at least he knows enough to apologize when he’s slighted me.”
“Yeah, Zoro’s kind of behind on that memo,” Sanji nodded, feeling a strange wash of relief that he’d told this veritable stranger almost everything.
“Well, I’m sure he’ll come around. He here yet? There’s only about half an hour until…” Law gestured vaguely toward the back door.
“I know. He has a horrible sense of direction, but he’s been here before, so maybe there’s hope,” Sanji snorted.
“If not, I could always…you know…” Law shrugged.
“You sure? It’s dangerous,” Sanji warned.
“I’ve been in my fair share of dangerous situations,” Law assured him, leaning nonchalantly back onto the counter behind him. “I think that I can handle whatever Don Krieg’s got.”
“You’ve heard of him, then?”
“I run in the underground circles a little,” Law gave him a half-smile. “Nothing illegal, but you hear interesting things when you hang out with the lowlifes of the town.”
“I can imagine,” Sanji nodded.
“He’s getting a little big for his britches, though. The underground draws a fine line between someone to be admired and someone to be loathed, and Krieg’s becoming far too power hungry as of late. Of course, nobody else has a gang large enough to rival him, but I think that knocking him down a few pegs will only benefit everyone in the long run,” he stared into Sanji’s eyes and Sanji returned the intense look. “You seem like a good guy; I’d like to help.”
“Thank you,” Sanji sighed, happy that he at least could read this man. “So…your boyfriend? Is he…”
“He is a rather large party pooper,” Law made a face. “He hates clubs; all he does is complain, so I don’t bring him here anymore. Besides, any chance I can get to make him jealous is a plus. You have this so-called script with you?”
“Yeah,” Sanji dug it out of his pocket and handed it to the man, and Law skimmed it.
“This is quite good. Hard to tell it’s contrived, that’s for sure. This girl of yours must be something special,” he passed the paper back.
“Keep it. I’ve got it down,” Sanji tapped his temple and grinned.
“No nerves?”
“Only about a hundred butterflies; not so bad,” Sanji chuckled.
“Well, get them under control,” Law prompted. “You’ve gotta be convincing. You’re just going out for a smoke, right? Nothing out of the ordinary. No offence, but you look like you could use one,” he pointed to the lighter in Sanji’s hand.
“It’s just…it’s like waiting for your execution,” Sanji laughed ruefully. “You know?”
“So the plan is actually for you to be captured, then? You’ve got people…”
“Around. I don’t know exactly where, so I wouldn’t be able to tell, but after all of this fuss we’re 99% sure that Krieg will want to do me in personally,” Sanji tried to sound like he didn’t care one way or the other, but he was sure his voice was shaking at least a little.
“Meaning that they’ll take you to wherever Krieg is and your friends will follow and confront him?” Law clarified.
“Yeah,” Sanji cleared his throat and nodded. “That’s the plan.”
“Well, I have to admit that it’s horribly risky, but from what you’ve told me it seems to be the best solution to this whole fiasco,” Law admitted. “I wish you luck; I daresay you’ll need it.”
“I think I’ll need it, too,” Sanji admitted. “I just wish I knew how this was all going to play out.”
“You should meet one of my friends,” Law smirked. “He fancies himself a psychic, you know. Claims he can predict whether or not something terrible will happen to a person on a certain day.”
“Is he always right?”
“Well, from what I’ve seen, but he’s a strange character regardless,” Law crossed his legs and leant farther back onto the bar counter, looking perfectly at ease. “Well, Mr. Blackleg, I think your lover’s here.”
“Hmm?”
“He’s about six feet tall; green hair; looking like he just smelled something unpleasant. Sound familiar?” Law had a cocky grin on his face.
“That’s him, all right,” Sanji turned and waved, catching Zoro’s eye as the younger man made his way through the crowded club. “Hey.”
“…hey.”
“Look, just…for one night, can you please be civil?” Sanji hissed, but Zoro largely ignored him as he caught sight of Law, who was still looking bored.
“Who’s he? New boyfriend?”
“Hardly. I’ve just met him.”
“That’s never stopped you before.”
“Shut up, already,” Sanji groaned, not in the mood for Zoro’s attitude at the moment. “This is Law. He agreed to help me out if you decided not to show.”
The other man waved and Zoro grunted, which Sanji took as his way of saying ‘hello.’ “So wait, you told him everything?”
“Pretty much,” Sanji nodded.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Why, thank you; I haven’t heard that one before,” Sanji rolled his eyes and huffed, staring forlornly at his empty wine glass. “You’re not drinking?”
“Nami said we had to be sober.”
“Since when have you listened to what Nami-san says, you boor?” Sanji tapped his fingers on the tabletop and glanced at Zoro.
“Since she threatened to sic Luffy on me if I didn’t,” Zoro replied testily, and Sanji involuntarily shuddered. “Luffy-threats are worse than death-threats, you know.”
“I’m aware,” Sanji said coolly.
“Would you two just shut up and kiss already?” Law groaned. “I think every single person in this club can see the veritable cloud of UST hanging over the two of you,” he looked rather unimpressed.
“UST?” Zoro blinked, looking confused. Sanji wondered briefly if Zoro thought Law was talking about an actual cloud, but then he decided that he had best enlighten his green-haired companion.
“Unresolved sexual tension,” Sanji cleared his throat. “And I agree.”
“So what? We need a stranger to tell us that we’ve been having problems?”
“Mr. Roronoa, I’m not trying to play relationship counsellor,” Law assured him. “But this is a life and death matter, and while normally I would be joking about that, this time I have no doubt that it’s the truth. It sounds to me like you are the one at fault here, so I suggest you remedy this whole situation in the next…oh…ten minutes or so. Should I leave you in peace?”
“No; stay,” Sanji waved a hand.
“Oi, cook?”
“Yeah?”
“Did I just get preached at by a guy wearing eyeliner?” Zoro blinked incredulously.
“I’d say you did, yes. But since you aren’t listening to the rest of us…” Sanji had to point out, sticking an unlit cigarette in his mouth.
“And why is everyone telling me it’s my fault? You should have heard Kaku at practice today; he wouldn’t let off about it. And then Lucci came to pick him up when he was done working me to near exhaustion and then he started in on me and…”
“I had a long conversation with them on Wednesday,” Sanji replied. “And it is kind of your fault…no, don’t talk, I’m not done,” he clapped a hand over Zoro’s mouth. “Look, I’ve told you that I would never come between you and your dream, right? I’m well aware that the next time you fight Mihawk, you could die, or somebody else will come along and defeat you, and that’s something that I’m willing to live with. Now I’m asking you to give me the exact same chance, and you’re too selfish to accept that there’s something in my life I consider more important than a relationship. I want this to work out, Zoro, and it’s killing me to know that you don’t respect me enough to grant me this one thing. I could die tonight, and are you really going to…” Sanji blinked furiously. “To keep up this idiotic feud? Do you want to end this relationship now and just let me go to my fate alone? Or do you want to make a couple of sacrifices so we can go back to the way that we were? I mean, I don’t have time to waste on chasing after you. Ace’ll take me back,” Sanji had mainly pulled the last out as a threat, but he knew it was true. Ace would take him back, if he asked, but he didn’t want to put the older man through that. He didn’t love Ace…well, that was a lie. He loved Ace, a lot, but he wasn’t in love with Ace.
“So you’d just go running back to Portgas, is that it?” Zoro grunted.
“I…” Sanji sighed before deciding to reply with the truth. “No. I’d never do that to him; I’m a flirt, Zoro, but I’d never lead somebody on if I didn’t think it could turn out to be something more.”
“At least you’re honest,” Zoro’s fingers curled themselves into a fist. “You want the truth? You want to know why I can’t accept you the way that you are?”
“I’d love that,” Sanji said bluntly. “Enlighten me.”
“Because I’m scared, alright? Yes, Zoro Roronoa is scared,” Zoro snorted, unclenching his fist and dragging his fingers through his spiked hair, messing it even more. “Because you’re right; the next time I fight Mihawk, I could die. But when will that be? He won’t fight me now; he might not deign to fight me ever. I could be sixty before I claim the title of ‘World’s Greatest Swordsman,’ because Mihawk’s cautious. But you…it’s just too close. There’s a difference between knowing that it might happen to me sometime in the future and knowing that it might happen to you tonight. I’ve always been distant, Sanji. When things get tough emotionally, I close myself off. To me, it’s easier than letting my emotions get the better of me; easier to hide behind this…this façade and stay calm and neutral. I’m no good at comforting people; I’m no good at being sympathetic. I’m not much good at worrying, either; I cover it all up with anger and detachment. You have no idea how much it took for me to tell you that I loved you. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that I loved them before,” he paused to clear his throat. “You’re a stubborn, egotistical, cocky little thing, but you wear your heart on your sleeve. Sure, you try to cover it up with this suave attitude, but when it comes to it, you’re not afraid to show the world you have emotions.
“I am. I’ve always been afraid. I promised…her…that I would be strong, that I’d fulfill my promise. I can’t…I can’t go through that again. I can’t bury somebody I love again, Sanji, I just…it would break me. And I can’t afford to be broken. So if…if I tell myself enough times that you were just a fling; that you don’t mean anything…maybe I can convince myself of it. Maybe if you die I can move on. But if I…” he shook his head and took a deep breath.
“My boyfriend is the same way,” Law spoke up in his quiet tenor, and Zoro looked at him, the tiniest beginnings of tears evident in his eyes. “Those who know him, even those who know him well, accuse him of being heartless and cruel. But I saw something in him despite that, something redeeming that told me the thing he needed the most was for somebody to take that one little spark of something positive and turn it into a flame. He’ll never be the nicest man in the world, or the most caring, but he’s not afraid to admit that he loves me, and that’s all I could ever ask of him. I don’t know if I’m helping; I’m probably not, but it’s hard to watch two people in love hem and haw about their feelings. Sorry,” he looked apologetic. However, two teenaged girls had stumbled by as he was mentioning the word ‘boyfriend’ and started giggling and calling him less than complimentary names. He spared them a sultry glance before deftly flipping them off, and Zoro actually chuckled at the horrified looks on their faces. “People are idiots, for the most part, so if you’ve found somebody that makes you happy, it’s just plain stupid not to take advantage of it. I’m done,” he propped his chin up on his hand, and Sanji saw for the first time the letters ‘D-E-A-T-H’ tattooed on his fingers.
“I should be angry with you for behaving in such a rude way to those gorgeous ladies,” Sanji said after a while.
“Yeah, you could be, I guess. But I hate close-minded people,” Law smirked. “Anyway, why don’t the two of you go to the washroom or something? Hash this out? I’ll come in and remind you when it’s time, if you want.”
“Why would we…”
“Yes,” Sanji overrode Zoro and smiled at Law. “Thank you.” He grabbed Zoro’s hand and tore off to the washroom, guiding him into one of the (thankfully) large stalls and locking the door behind him. “Now.”
“Now, what? I’m not budging, cook. I’m not going to watch you kill yourself,” Zoro said, as firm and steadfast as ever, and Sanji sighed.
“And I’ve told you, I’m not going to go out of my way to get myself killed,” Sanji reminded him, just as stubborn.
“So what was the point of locking us in the bathroom if we’re still at a stalemate?” Zoro asked, rolling his eyes and attempting to leave.
“Because,” Sanji pressed himself in front of the door.
“Because…”
“Because I’m scared out of my mind, okay?” Sanji blurted before taking a shuddering breath. “I’m scared, Zoro. There; I’ve admitted it. I’m afraid that something’s going to happen tonight, and if it does, I don’t want the last words we’ll ever say to each other to be spiteful ones. I love you…I don’t say it enough, probably, but you know it’s true; I’m an impatient, flighty guy and if I want to stick with you even when you’re being moronic…”
“Oi.”
“Then you’ve got to be somebody special. Everyone’s told me that. Everyone’s been really supportive and agreed that we should just figure out our differences and make up. Heck, a complete stranger just told us to work it out,” Sanji pointed out vehemently. “If that’s not obvious, then…” he turned and angrily kicked the wall, swearing rather colourfully in an attempt to calm himself down. A quick glance at his watch showed him twenty minutes until showtime, and he wiped his palms on the fabric of his tight jeans before turning to the door and reaching for the lock. “I’m going to get another glass of wine, if that’s alright with you. It might calm my nerves…”
He paused as Zoro’s hand fell heavily onto his shoulder, and although he refused to turn, he still had to figure out what Zoro was up to.
“Well?”
“You’re right.”
“About what?” Sanji asked wearily, although in truth he was a little surprised that Zoro had admitted he was right at all.
“I am somebody special,” Zoro sounded smug, and Sanji rolled his eyes. “But so are you, cook. You know that next to you the most important person in my life is no longer living, and you know that I’d never be able to go through that again and come out the same, and that’s what scares me the most. I don’t want there to be even the slightest chance that you could be killed tonight, and so for me it’s easier to close myself off and try to pretend I don’t care than it is to accept that something bad might happen.”
“But what if something does happen?” Sanji sighed. “Do you really want your last memories of me to be bad?”
Zoro didn’t answer, but his arms came around Sanji’s waist and he leant his forehead to rest on Sanji’s shoulder. “I don’t want to think about losing you. Ever. And so I’m not giving myself the chance to make any more good memories, because I don’t think I could take the loss. Remember, cook, we’re here to protect you, too, so don’t be going all selfish and noble on me. You can’t make us go away; we’re here whether you want us to be or not. You don’t have to do this alone, and I know that sometimes you feel it’s better if you do, but you don’t. And maybe you can drive other people away, but I’m not going anywhere. I can freely admit that I’ve been trying to distance myself from you, but I can’t do it anymore, cook.
“I’m horrible at showing people how I really feel, but sometimes I think I’m even worse at denying things. They just…build up into this giant knot in my chest, and right now I think that there’s only one way to get rid of it.”
“How?” Sanji half-turned, only to find himself slammed into the side of the stall, Zoro’s lips only inches from his own.
“Like this,” Zoro murmured, his voice suddenly soft, before closing the relatively small space between them. “I’m willing to admit that I’m wrong about trying to change the person that you truly are, but you have to admit that you’ve been wrong to try and push us away. You’re just as at fault as I am, love-cook, so just grant me that.”
Sanji stared into the other man’s eyes before sighing, realizing that both of them were just too stubborn for their own good. “I’ll grant you that, Zoro. I’m letting my own worry and guilt get in the way of my relationships, and as much as I know it isn’t healthy, it’s hard for me to let go of it. But I’ll try, because I’m not going to work as hard as I have to get you just to lose you because of something like this.”
“That a promise, cook?”
“That’s a promise, Marimo.”
“Good,” Zoro flashed him a predator’s grin before kissing him, and Sanji sighed happily into the kiss and let his hand rest on Zoro’s shoulder, bracing one foot on the wall behind him as Zoro’s hands dropped to his hips, holding him gently in place. “This is going to happen often with us, isn’t it?”
“Probably,” Sanji admitted. “Still want to give it a go?”
“Of course. It makes it interesting,” Zoro grinned again and leant in for another kiss, grinding his hips against Sanji’s as the blonde let out a quiet moan, not letting himself go far enough to forget that he was in a public restroom.
“You remember your script?” he managed to ask in-between kisses.
“Enough of it. You?”
“Is it ironic that we have to pretend to hate each other just minutes after we’ve made up?”
“Probably,” Zoro muttered in reply, attacking the older man’s mouth again.
“Zoro, stop,” Sanji pushed him away. “I can’t afford to go out there aroused, alright?”
“Yeah. Okay,” Zoro reluctantly pulled back, but he kept his arms around Sanji’s waist. “What do you want to talk about, then?”
“Practice?” Sanji raised an eyebrow.
“Ugh,” Zoro made a face. “Don’t remind me. Having those two double-team you isn’t my idea of a fun day. Oh, and for the record? Even with a cane that little freak can whoop me in a fight. It’s unfair,” he pouted.
“Zoro, he shouldn’t even be fighting. You know better,” Sanji flicked the other man’s nose.
“I took it easy on him. Wouldn’t have had to, though. At least not once Lucci showed up,” he added.
“Lucci can fight?”
“Hand-to-hand, mostly. He’s as fast as Kaku, that’s for sure. I’m not quite sure why they decided beating me up was going to help, but I eventually agreed to try and work it out with you,” Zoro shrugged, a slight blush staining his cheeks.
“Remind me to thank them.”
“I will,” Zoro nodded.
There was silence after that as they just held each other; Sanji could feel his nerves fraying more with each passing minute, and as much as he wished the time would just come he was wishing with equal fervour that it never would.
A few moments later there was a knock at the door, and Law called, “I don’t want to know what you’ve been up to, but I thought I should warn you that you’ve got five minutes.”
Sanji opened the door and sighed, walking over to the mirror and fixing his hair as Zoro ambled out.
“You’re such a girl. Really, your hair?”
“Just because some of us don’t care about our appearance…”
“Next thing you know you’ll be wearing makeup.”
“Oh, I highly doubt it will ever come to that…”
“What’s wrong with makeup?” Law asked innocently, and Sanji turned and even managed a laugh at his expression.
“Look, you’ll be fine,” the man assured them. “You’ve got backup, right?”
“Well, yeah,” Sanji admitted.
“Stop worrying. And…you know…let me know how it goes. I’m sure it’ll make for a great story to tell the…well, adopted children,” he smirked and passed Sanji a piece of paper. “Call me.”
“If you didn’t have a boyfriend, I would hit you for making that sound like a proposition,” Zoro growled good-naturedly.
“That was the point. Later, gentlemen,” he swept off his hat in a mock-salute and headed out of the washroom as Sanji took another deep breath and faced the door.
“Ready, cook?” Zoro put a hand on his shoulder; Sanji could feel how tense he was as well, and he felt marginally more comfortable knowing that, for once, he didn’t have to do this alone.
“I’ll never be ready,” he admitted truthfully, steeling his features and forcing his normal cocky grin back onto his face. “But let’s do this.”
Notes:
1. I can’t believe I actually finished this chapter!!! But I did, and I really wanted to get it done in honor of Kaku’s birthday today (not that he’s in the chapter, but y’know, it’s the thought that counts xP). I also have to work in the morning, which does not make me happy (frankly, work right now is panic-attack inducing), but…happy birthday anyway, dear!
2. Lots of talking, but it was necessary to set the next few chapters.
3. Barring a muse miracle, there won’t be an update next week because I haven’t even started the next chapter. It will be out ASAP, but I can’t guarantee when that will be :(.
4. I get to see the Broadway version of The Lion King this week!!! The Lion King is my favorite Disney movie, so that excites me. And…I think that’s it. Drop me a comment on the way out
Previous Chapters Are HERE
Sure, he loved to flirt with women, but there was a difference between them blushing and giggling and them attempting to get into his pants.
Literally get into his pants, in the case of the current black-haired beauty who had stumbled over after only one coy look. He wasn’t quite sure how any of this was a signal to her that he was looking for a bedmate, but she was a decent kisser.
He had to push her away when she started working on his belt, though, and she gave him an adorable pout before her friends called her back and she stumbled away. Sanji sighed and slumped against the wall; the pounding music was giving him a headache, and he couldn’t even drink that much if he wanted to be sober enough to remember all of the lines in Nami’s script.
Forget it, he thought irritably, downing his glass of pinot noir. Knowing Zoro, he wouldn’t have learned the script, and he doubted that the two of them would stick to it anyway: there would be plenty of improvisation if he had anything to say about it.
After he had shaken the persistent girl, he wandered back to the rear of the club and plopped onto a barstool with a groan.
“Well, somebody could have gotten some tonight.”
Sanji blinked and glanced up, meeting the eyes of a dark-haired man who had slid onto a stool beside him.
“Yeah, don’t feel like it,” he shrugged.
“Relationship problems?”
“You could say that.”
“And yet you’re not willing to cheat,” the man sounded mildly impressed.
“He has problems with me, not the other way around,” Sanji grunted, realizing a moment later that he’d said ‘he’.
“You’re in love.”
“Gee, thanks, Sherlock. I really needed you to tell me that,” the cook fiddled with his lighter and wished he could light up inside the club.
“Hey, don’t be so testy,” the other man spoke softly, and Sanji looked at him fully for the first time. He was attractive, Sanji supposed, if you were into stereotypical ‘bad boys.’ His hair was dyed almost midnight-black and his pale blue eyes were highlighted with dark eyeliner. He had piercings in both of his ears and when he reached to grab his drink Sanji saw his hands and arms were tattooed. “I’m Law, by the way. Law Trafalgar.”
“Sanji Blackleg,” Sanji nodded quickly.
“You look like you have a story to tell, Mr. Blackleg,” Law raised an eyebrow and leant forward.
“Don’t we all.”
“You look like you need some fresh ears to listen to your story, Mr. Blackleg,” Law amended with a wryly amused chuckle.
“Maybe I do,” Sanji admitted, the faint buzz of alcohol running through him giving him a hint of overconfidence. He was quite certain that this man was not in any way connected to Krieg, and truth be told telling his story to somebody new might help to calm his nerves.
“Care to tell it?” Law’s voice dropped a little, although he had such a mild tenor to begin with that it hardly sounded intimidating.
“Maybe. I’ve got some time,” Sanji admitted, setting his empty glass on the table.
“Enlighten me, then,” Law smiled at him, and Sanji obliged.
000
“Your boyfriend, Mr. Blackleg, is an idiot,” was Law’s succinct summary of the conversation. “My boyfriend,” he paused dramatically, “…is also an idiot, but at least he knows enough to apologize when he’s slighted me.”
“Yeah, Zoro’s kind of behind on that memo,” Sanji nodded, feeling a strange wash of relief that he’d told this veritable stranger almost everything.
“Well, I’m sure he’ll come around. He here yet? There’s only about half an hour until…” Law gestured vaguely toward the back door.
“I know. He has a horrible sense of direction, but he’s been here before, so maybe there’s hope,” Sanji snorted.
“If not, I could always…you know…” Law shrugged.
“You sure? It’s dangerous,” Sanji warned.
“I’ve been in my fair share of dangerous situations,” Law assured him, leaning nonchalantly back onto the counter behind him. “I think that I can handle whatever Don Krieg’s got.”
“You’ve heard of him, then?”
“I run in the underground circles a little,” Law gave him a half-smile. “Nothing illegal, but you hear interesting things when you hang out with the lowlifes of the town.”
“I can imagine,” Sanji nodded.
“He’s getting a little big for his britches, though. The underground draws a fine line between someone to be admired and someone to be loathed, and Krieg’s becoming far too power hungry as of late. Of course, nobody else has a gang large enough to rival him, but I think that knocking him down a few pegs will only benefit everyone in the long run,” he stared into Sanji’s eyes and Sanji returned the intense look. “You seem like a good guy; I’d like to help.”
“Thank you,” Sanji sighed, happy that he at least could read this man. “So…your boyfriend? Is he…”
“He is a rather large party pooper,” Law made a face. “He hates clubs; all he does is complain, so I don’t bring him here anymore. Besides, any chance I can get to make him jealous is a plus. You have this so-called script with you?”
“Yeah,” Sanji dug it out of his pocket and handed it to the man, and Law skimmed it.
“This is quite good. Hard to tell it’s contrived, that’s for sure. This girl of yours must be something special,” he passed the paper back.
“Keep it. I’ve got it down,” Sanji tapped his temple and grinned.
“No nerves?”
“Only about a hundred butterflies; not so bad,” Sanji chuckled.
“Well, get them under control,” Law prompted. “You’ve gotta be convincing. You’re just going out for a smoke, right? Nothing out of the ordinary. No offence, but you look like you could use one,” he pointed to the lighter in Sanji’s hand.
“It’s just…it’s like waiting for your execution,” Sanji laughed ruefully. “You know?”
“So the plan is actually for you to be captured, then? You’ve got people…”
“Around. I don’t know exactly where, so I wouldn’t be able to tell, but after all of this fuss we’re 99% sure that Krieg will want to do me in personally,” Sanji tried to sound like he didn’t care one way or the other, but he was sure his voice was shaking at least a little.
“Meaning that they’ll take you to wherever Krieg is and your friends will follow and confront him?” Law clarified.
“Yeah,” Sanji cleared his throat and nodded. “That’s the plan.”
“Well, I have to admit that it’s horribly risky, but from what you’ve told me it seems to be the best solution to this whole fiasco,” Law admitted. “I wish you luck; I daresay you’ll need it.”
“I think I’ll need it, too,” Sanji admitted. “I just wish I knew how this was all going to play out.”
“You should meet one of my friends,” Law smirked. “He fancies himself a psychic, you know. Claims he can predict whether or not something terrible will happen to a person on a certain day.”
“Is he always right?”
“Well, from what I’ve seen, but he’s a strange character regardless,” Law crossed his legs and leant farther back onto the bar counter, looking perfectly at ease. “Well, Mr. Blackleg, I think your lover’s here.”
“Hmm?”
“He’s about six feet tall; green hair; looking like he just smelled something unpleasant. Sound familiar?” Law had a cocky grin on his face.
“That’s him, all right,” Sanji turned and waved, catching Zoro’s eye as the younger man made his way through the crowded club. “Hey.”
“…hey.”
“Look, just…for one night, can you please be civil?” Sanji hissed, but Zoro largely ignored him as he caught sight of Law, who was still looking bored.
“Who’s he? New boyfriend?”
“Hardly. I’ve just met him.”
“That’s never stopped you before.”
“Shut up, already,” Sanji groaned, not in the mood for Zoro’s attitude at the moment. “This is Law. He agreed to help me out if you decided not to show.”
The other man waved and Zoro grunted, which Sanji took as his way of saying ‘hello.’ “So wait, you told him everything?”
“Pretty much,” Sanji nodded.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Why, thank you; I haven’t heard that one before,” Sanji rolled his eyes and huffed, staring forlornly at his empty wine glass. “You’re not drinking?”
“Nami said we had to be sober.”
“Since when have you listened to what Nami-san says, you boor?” Sanji tapped his fingers on the tabletop and glanced at Zoro.
“Since she threatened to sic Luffy on me if I didn’t,” Zoro replied testily, and Sanji involuntarily shuddered. “Luffy-threats are worse than death-threats, you know.”
“I’m aware,” Sanji said coolly.
“Would you two just shut up and kiss already?” Law groaned. “I think every single person in this club can see the veritable cloud of UST hanging over the two of you,” he looked rather unimpressed.
“UST?” Zoro blinked, looking confused. Sanji wondered briefly if Zoro thought Law was talking about an actual cloud, but then he decided that he had best enlighten his green-haired companion.
“Unresolved sexual tension,” Sanji cleared his throat. “And I agree.”
“So what? We need a stranger to tell us that we’ve been having problems?”
“Mr. Roronoa, I’m not trying to play relationship counsellor,” Law assured him. “But this is a life and death matter, and while normally I would be joking about that, this time I have no doubt that it’s the truth. It sounds to me like you are the one at fault here, so I suggest you remedy this whole situation in the next…oh…ten minutes or so. Should I leave you in peace?”
“No; stay,” Sanji waved a hand.
“Oi, cook?”
“Yeah?”
“Did I just get preached at by a guy wearing eyeliner?” Zoro blinked incredulously.
“I’d say you did, yes. But since you aren’t listening to the rest of us…” Sanji had to point out, sticking an unlit cigarette in his mouth.
“And why is everyone telling me it’s my fault? You should have heard Kaku at practice today; he wouldn’t let off about it. And then Lucci came to pick him up when he was done working me to near exhaustion and then he started in on me and…”
“I had a long conversation with them on Wednesday,” Sanji replied. “And it is kind of your fault…no, don’t talk, I’m not done,” he clapped a hand over Zoro’s mouth. “Look, I’ve told you that I would never come between you and your dream, right? I’m well aware that the next time you fight Mihawk, you could die, or somebody else will come along and defeat you, and that’s something that I’m willing to live with. Now I’m asking you to give me the exact same chance, and you’re too selfish to accept that there’s something in my life I consider more important than a relationship. I want this to work out, Zoro, and it’s killing me to know that you don’t respect me enough to grant me this one thing. I could die tonight, and are you really going to…” Sanji blinked furiously. “To keep up this idiotic feud? Do you want to end this relationship now and just let me go to my fate alone? Or do you want to make a couple of sacrifices so we can go back to the way that we were? I mean, I don’t have time to waste on chasing after you. Ace’ll take me back,” Sanji had mainly pulled the last out as a threat, but he knew it was true. Ace would take him back, if he asked, but he didn’t want to put the older man through that. He didn’t love Ace…well, that was a lie. He loved Ace, a lot, but he wasn’t in love with Ace.
“So you’d just go running back to Portgas, is that it?” Zoro grunted.
“I…” Sanji sighed before deciding to reply with the truth. “No. I’d never do that to him; I’m a flirt, Zoro, but I’d never lead somebody on if I didn’t think it could turn out to be something more.”
“At least you’re honest,” Zoro’s fingers curled themselves into a fist. “You want the truth? You want to know why I can’t accept you the way that you are?”
“I’d love that,” Sanji said bluntly. “Enlighten me.”
“Because I’m scared, alright? Yes, Zoro Roronoa is scared,” Zoro snorted, unclenching his fist and dragging his fingers through his spiked hair, messing it even more. “Because you’re right; the next time I fight Mihawk, I could die. But when will that be? He won’t fight me now; he might not deign to fight me ever. I could be sixty before I claim the title of ‘World’s Greatest Swordsman,’ because Mihawk’s cautious. But you…it’s just too close. There’s a difference between knowing that it might happen to me sometime in the future and knowing that it might happen to you tonight. I’ve always been distant, Sanji. When things get tough emotionally, I close myself off. To me, it’s easier than letting my emotions get the better of me; easier to hide behind this…this façade and stay calm and neutral. I’m no good at comforting people; I’m no good at being sympathetic. I’m not much good at worrying, either; I cover it all up with anger and detachment. You have no idea how much it took for me to tell you that I loved you. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that I loved them before,” he paused to clear his throat. “You’re a stubborn, egotistical, cocky little thing, but you wear your heart on your sleeve. Sure, you try to cover it up with this suave attitude, but when it comes to it, you’re not afraid to show the world you have emotions.
“I am. I’ve always been afraid. I promised…her…that I would be strong, that I’d fulfill my promise. I can’t…I can’t go through that again. I can’t bury somebody I love again, Sanji, I just…it would break me. And I can’t afford to be broken. So if…if I tell myself enough times that you were just a fling; that you don’t mean anything…maybe I can convince myself of it. Maybe if you die I can move on. But if I…” he shook his head and took a deep breath.
“My boyfriend is the same way,” Law spoke up in his quiet tenor, and Zoro looked at him, the tiniest beginnings of tears evident in his eyes. “Those who know him, even those who know him well, accuse him of being heartless and cruel. But I saw something in him despite that, something redeeming that told me the thing he needed the most was for somebody to take that one little spark of something positive and turn it into a flame. He’ll never be the nicest man in the world, or the most caring, but he’s not afraid to admit that he loves me, and that’s all I could ever ask of him. I don’t know if I’m helping; I’m probably not, but it’s hard to watch two people in love hem and haw about their feelings. Sorry,” he looked apologetic. However, two teenaged girls had stumbled by as he was mentioning the word ‘boyfriend’ and started giggling and calling him less than complimentary names. He spared them a sultry glance before deftly flipping them off, and Zoro actually chuckled at the horrified looks on their faces. “People are idiots, for the most part, so if you’ve found somebody that makes you happy, it’s just plain stupid not to take advantage of it. I’m done,” he propped his chin up on his hand, and Sanji saw for the first time the letters ‘D-E-A-T-H’ tattooed on his fingers.
“I should be angry with you for behaving in such a rude way to those gorgeous ladies,” Sanji said after a while.
“Yeah, you could be, I guess. But I hate close-minded people,” Law smirked. “Anyway, why don’t the two of you go to the washroom or something? Hash this out? I’ll come in and remind you when it’s time, if you want.”
“Why would we…”
“Yes,” Sanji overrode Zoro and smiled at Law. “Thank you.” He grabbed Zoro’s hand and tore off to the washroom, guiding him into one of the (thankfully) large stalls and locking the door behind him. “Now.”
“Now, what? I’m not budging, cook. I’m not going to watch you kill yourself,” Zoro said, as firm and steadfast as ever, and Sanji sighed.
“And I’ve told you, I’m not going to go out of my way to get myself killed,” Sanji reminded him, just as stubborn.
“So what was the point of locking us in the bathroom if we’re still at a stalemate?” Zoro asked, rolling his eyes and attempting to leave.
“Because,” Sanji pressed himself in front of the door.
“Because…”
“Because I’m scared out of my mind, okay?” Sanji blurted before taking a shuddering breath. “I’m scared, Zoro. There; I’ve admitted it. I’m afraid that something’s going to happen tonight, and if it does, I don’t want the last words we’ll ever say to each other to be spiteful ones. I love you…I don’t say it enough, probably, but you know it’s true; I’m an impatient, flighty guy and if I want to stick with you even when you’re being moronic…”
“Oi.”
“Then you’ve got to be somebody special. Everyone’s told me that. Everyone’s been really supportive and agreed that we should just figure out our differences and make up. Heck, a complete stranger just told us to work it out,” Sanji pointed out vehemently. “If that’s not obvious, then…” he turned and angrily kicked the wall, swearing rather colourfully in an attempt to calm himself down. A quick glance at his watch showed him twenty minutes until showtime, and he wiped his palms on the fabric of his tight jeans before turning to the door and reaching for the lock. “I’m going to get another glass of wine, if that’s alright with you. It might calm my nerves…”
He paused as Zoro’s hand fell heavily onto his shoulder, and although he refused to turn, he still had to figure out what Zoro was up to.
“Well?”
“You’re right.”
“About what?” Sanji asked wearily, although in truth he was a little surprised that Zoro had admitted he was right at all.
“I am somebody special,” Zoro sounded smug, and Sanji rolled his eyes. “But so are you, cook. You know that next to you the most important person in my life is no longer living, and you know that I’d never be able to go through that again and come out the same, and that’s what scares me the most. I don’t want there to be even the slightest chance that you could be killed tonight, and so for me it’s easier to close myself off and try to pretend I don’t care than it is to accept that something bad might happen.”
“But what if something does happen?” Sanji sighed. “Do you really want your last memories of me to be bad?”
Zoro didn’t answer, but his arms came around Sanji’s waist and he leant his forehead to rest on Sanji’s shoulder. “I don’t want to think about losing you. Ever. And so I’m not giving myself the chance to make any more good memories, because I don’t think I could take the loss. Remember, cook, we’re here to protect you, too, so don’t be going all selfish and noble on me. You can’t make us go away; we’re here whether you want us to be or not. You don’t have to do this alone, and I know that sometimes you feel it’s better if you do, but you don’t. And maybe you can drive other people away, but I’m not going anywhere. I can freely admit that I’ve been trying to distance myself from you, but I can’t do it anymore, cook.
“I’m horrible at showing people how I really feel, but sometimes I think I’m even worse at denying things. They just…build up into this giant knot in my chest, and right now I think that there’s only one way to get rid of it.”
“How?” Sanji half-turned, only to find himself slammed into the side of the stall, Zoro’s lips only inches from his own.
“Like this,” Zoro murmured, his voice suddenly soft, before closing the relatively small space between them. “I’m willing to admit that I’m wrong about trying to change the person that you truly are, but you have to admit that you’ve been wrong to try and push us away. You’re just as at fault as I am, love-cook, so just grant me that.”
Sanji stared into the other man’s eyes before sighing, realizing that both of them were just too stubborn for their own good. “I’ll grant you that, Zoro. I’m letting my own worry and guilt get in the way of my relationships, and as much as I know it isn’t healthy, it’s hard for me to let go of it. But I’ll try, because I’m not going to work as hard as I have to get you just to lose you because of something like this.”
“That a promise, cook?”
“That’s a promise, Marimo.”
“Good,” Zoro flashed him a predator’s grin before kissing him, and Sanji sighed happily into the kiss and let his hand rest on Zoro’s shoulder, bracing one foot on the wall behind him as Zoro’s hands dropped to his hips, holding him gently in place. “This is going to happen often with us, isn’t it?”
“Probably,” Sanji admitted. “Still want to give it a go?”
“Of course. It makes it interesting,” Zoro grinned again and leant in for another kiss, grinding his hips against Sanji’s as the blonde let out a quiet moan, not letting himself go far enough to forget that he was in a public restroom.
“You remember your script?” he managed to ask in-between kisses.
“Enough of it. You?”
“Is it ironic that we have to pretend to hate each other just minutes after we’ve made up?”
“Probably,” Zoro muttered in reply, attacking the older man’s mouth again.
“Zoro, stop,” Sanji pushed him away. “I can’t afford to go out there aroused, alright?”
“Yeah. Okay,” Zoro reluctantly pulled back, but he kept his arms around Sanji’s waist. “What do you want to talk about, then?”
“Practice?” Sanji raised an eyebrow.
“Ugh,” Zoro made a face. “Don’t remind me. Having those two double-team you isn’t my idea of a fun day. Oh, and for the record? Even with a cane that little freak can whoop me in a fight. It’s unfair,” he pouted.
“Zoro, he shouldn’t even be fighting. You know better,” Sanji flicked the other man’s nose.
“I took it easy on him. Wouldn’t have had to, though. At least not once Lucci showed up,” he added.
“Lucci can fight?”
“Hand-to-hand, mostly. He’s as fast as Kaku, that’s for sure. I’m not quite sure why they decided beating me up was going to help, but I eventually agreed to try and work it out with you,” Zoro shrugged, a slight blush staining his cheeks.
“Remind me to thank them.”
“I will,” Zoro nodded.
There was silence after that as they just held each other; Sanji could feel his nerves fraying more with each passing minute, and as much as he wished the time would just come he was wishing with equal fervour that it never would.
A few moments later there was a knock at the door, and Law called, “I don’t want to know what you’ve been up to, but I thought I should warn you that you’ve got five minutes.”
Sanji opened the door and sighed, walking over to the mirror and fixing his hair as Zoro ambled out.
“You’re such a girl. Really, your hair?”
“Just because some of us don’t care about our appearance…”
“Next thing you know you’ll be wearing makeup.”
“Oh, I highly doubt it will ever come to that…”
“What’s wrong with makeup?” Law asked innocently, and Sanji turned and even managed a laugh at his expression.
“Look, you’ll be fine,” the man assured them. “You’ve got backup, right?”
“Well, yeah,” Sanji admitted.
“Stop worrying. And…you know…let me know how it goes. I’m sure it’ll make for a great story to tell the…well, adopted children,” he smirked and passed Sanji a piece of paper. “Call me.”
“If you didn’t have a boyfriend, I would hit you for making that sound like a proposition,” Zoro growled good-naturedly.
“That was the point. Later, gentlemen,” he swept off his hat in a mock-salute and headed out of the washroom as Sanji took another deep breath and faced the door.
“Ready, cook?” Zoro put a hand on his shoulder; Sanji could feel how tense he was as well, and he felt marginally more comfortable knowing that, for once, he didn’t have to do this alone.
“I’ll never be ready,” he admitted truthfully, steeling his features and forcing his normal cocky grin back onto his face. “But let’s do this.”
Notes:
1. I can’t believe I actually finished this chapter!!! But I did, and I really wanted to get it done in honor of Kaku’s birthday today (not that he’s in the chapter, but y’know, it’s the thought that counts xP). I also have to work in the morning, which does not make me happy (frankly, work right now is panic-attack inducing), but…happy birthday anyway, dear!
2. Lots of talking, but it was necessary to set the next few chapters.
3. Barring a muse miracle, there won’t be an update next week because I haven’t even started the next chapter. It will be out ASAP, but I can’t guarantee when that will be :(.
4. I get to see the Broadway version of The Lion King this week!!! The Lion King is my favorite Disney movie, so that excites me. And…I think that’s it. Drop me a comment on the way out
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