Glee-Fic: Hold On To What You Know, Chapter 8/?
Title:Hold On To What You Know
Author:AoiTsukikage
Rating:NC-17 eventually
Characters/Pairing:Eventual Blaine/Kurt, Kurt/OMC to begin with, others mentioned
Chapter:8/?
Word Count:1902
Spoilers:Up to and including 4x07
Summary Blaine and Kurt never reconciled after their break-up, and Blaine pulled away from everybody he knew and decided to go it alone. Now, four years later, with his life in shambles, he's got a chance to get back everything he thought he'd lost: his friends, his happiness...and Kurt.
Chapter Eight
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes
Man, I wish that I could stay and I can't lie
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
But I can wait, I can wait forever
I know it feels like forever,
I guess it’s just the price I’ve gotta pay
Blaine woke up with a start when he heard the sound of somebody shuffling through the room, groaning and opening his eyes to see Finn grinning at him. "Hey, dude. Didn't mean to wake you, but I wanted to ask if you guys want in on pizza? It's late already so I figured...and Kurt'll eat some of that like super healthy shit from the place around the corner, so d'you wanna stay?" he asked softly, and Blaine nodded before he could stop himself.
"Should I..."
"Nah, stay. He's been working too hard and he never listens to me when I tell him that, so it's good for him to rest," Finn patted Kurt's shoulder under the blanket as the other man grumbled but didn't wake up, and Blaine let his head thump against the arm of the couch as he drifted again.
He should move. He should get up and apologize to Kurt for falling asleep with him. He should...
"Dude, you look about ready to bust out of your skin. It's cool, he probably loves having you there," Finn said as he picked up his phone, walking into the kitchen to call as Blaine decided that Finn was probably right. Still, was it really okay for him to be here, curled up with Kurt?
If Finn thought it was, and if he was okay with it, it probably was, he reasoned, and snuggled down a little more. He could hear Finn talking quietly and then moving around, so he forced his eyes to stay open because it would have been all too easy to drop off again.
"Twenty minutes," Finn whispered, coming over and smiling at him. "Seriously, dude, relax. I'll wake you when it gets here, or we can watch sports or something and you can stay there?" he suggested and Blaine nodded, because staying awake would probably be the best option right now. Finn grinned and flipped the channel over to sports highlights and Blaine started absently carding his fingers through Kurt's soft hair, hearing the other man sigh, and when he looked down again Kurt was blinking sleepily up at him.
"Hey," he whispered, and Kurt hummed and snuggled closer. "Good nap?"
"Uh-huh," Kurt replied softly. "You didn't have to stay..."
"Of course I did," Blaine replied, tipping his head as Kurt raised his own and oh, God, they were way too close. "Kurt..."
"I know," Kurt assured him, dropping back to rest on Blaine's chest. "But I...never mind. Thank you," he closed his eyes again.
"Dinner'll be like fifteen minutes, dude. I got pizza," Finn put in and instead of being shocked Finn was there, like Blaine would expect him to be, Kurt merely nodded and tucked his head under Blaine's chin.
"Kurt?" Blaine asked carefully, because he could tell that Kurt's mind was racing and he needed to know what was going on in there. "What is it? What's..."
"Do you...you both think I should call off this engagement," he said, and it was a statement.
"Kurt, I..." Blaine started but Kurt shook his head.
"I know you'll say that I should do what I want, but from the bottom of your heart, do you think I should marry Carter?" he looked up again, his stormy eyes boring into Blaine's. "I know what Finn will say, and what Sam and Puck and my father and everybody else says, but..."
"What's making you re-think it?" Finn asked, leaning forward so that he was pointed toward the couch. "Like, why all of a sudden?"
"Because of what happened this week. The fact that he was...trying to keep me from seeing you, even if he didn't make it obvious. He doesn't control me, and if I want you in my life, that's not for him to say 'no' to," Kurt said firmly, pushing himself up again. "And if he's going to get that jealous, we're going to have a problem," he added, looking guilty as he took his hand out from under the blanket and stared at his naked finger. "I don't even...I barely notice that I've stopped wearing it. Does that...make me a bad person?" he looked up, so wracked with obvious guilt that Blaine had to physically restrain himself from kissing him.
"Nah, dude," Finn answered for him. "I mean, look at it this way: Rach 'n I were engaged, right? And we broke it off, and we're still cool with each other but we just knew that it wasn't gonna work. It's way better to do it now than be unhappy and have to get a divorce or something, right?" he smiled, and Kurt eventually smiled back and nodded.
"You're right. I'm not sure how I'll break the news to him, but I've kind of realized over the last few weeks that he's...he's not the right one for me," he said, and it made Blaine's heart soar to hear it. "I just...I don't know how to do this. I've never had to break up with anybody," he laughed, a little bitterly, and Blaine winced because...yeah, he'd kind of made that one really easy for Kurt, hadn't he?
"Kurt, I..."
"Don't," Kurt said firmly. "Please. I've moved on from that, but I'm still...if I break up with him now, he'll think it's because of...well, because of you," Kurt admitted with a shrug, and Blaine had to accept that he had a point. Carter obviously didn't like him being around Kurt, and it would be logical to jump to that conclusion. "Which means that...Blaine," Kurt's voice was serious as he stared up at Blaine and Blaine nodded to show that he was taking this seriously as well. "We...you probably know that...I'd like to try again. You and me."
"Yeah?" Blaine let out his breath in a 'whoosh', almost laughing, but with the way Kurt had kissed him at Christmas and was willingly cuddling with him it wasn't hard to guess that he was. "I mean...yes. Of course. But..."
"You know there's a 'but'," Kurt bit his lip and sighed. "We couldn't...it wouldn't be fair to him if we suddenly started going out. He'd find out, somehow, and that would only add fuel to the idea that I called it off because of you," he looked genuinely conflicted and Blaine immediately felt bad.
Yes, he'd had a feeling since Christmas that Kurt was...well, coming back around to him, but he never wanted to make this difficult for the older man.
He'd done enough of that back when they were together the first time.
"Kurt, we don't have to," he said gently. "I mean, yes, if you wanted to...if you're willing to give me a chance again, I'll take it. Gladly. But if it's going to cause trouble, we can just...stay friends for a while," he finished, even though the thought of being with Kurt...really being with Kurt...was something that he didn't want to delay any longer than he had to.
"Thank you," Kurt reached to stroke gentle fingers through his hair and Blaine hugged him a little tighter as the phone rang and Finn bounded over to answer.
"Pizza's here, dudes, so you should like stop cuddling long enough to eat," he teased, running out the door to go pick it up, and Kurt pushed himself up and leaned into kiss Blaine's cheek before he sat up.
"Thank you. For just...letting me get to this place on my own," he whispered, and Blaine didn't need to ask what he meant.
"It wasn't easy. All of them were trying to do everything they could to set us up, but I knew that you wouldn't appreciate that," he admitted, and Kurt gave him a grin and finally got off.
"You're right. I wouldn't have. But I'm hungry, so let's eat some pizza," he announced, heading to the cupboard to set out plates and glasses, and Blaine felt his heart get a little bit lighter.
000
He wasn't sure what exactly to think later on that night, standing in his shower with the hot water pounding down on him and his hand firmly fisted around his hard cock.
He didn't do this much anymore, hadn't felt like it in a long, long time and sex was purely physical release for him, but for once this wasn't just clinical and without feeling, because for the first time in years he let himself imagine somebody else with him.
Kurt on his knees, eyes wide and blue in the harsh lights of the bathroom, hair sticking to his forehead in the water's spray as he skimmed his fingers along the underside of Blaine's erection, a wicked grin on his lips.
Kurt's mouth on him, warm and wet and slow, hands running up his thighs and gripping his ass to push him closer, eyes sliding closed as he sucked.
Kurt pressing him against the wall, cock sliding against his opening as he jerked Blaine off, pressing feverish kisses to his mouth as Blaine pulled him closer and tried to feel as much slick skin against his own as he could.
When he came it was with a moan of Kurt's name that he couldn't even bother to be ashamed about, and when he finally tumbled into bed he fell asleep more quickly than he could remember doing in a longer than he cared to think about.
He was going to get Kurt back, and this time he wasn't going to screw up and lose him.
He knew it.
000
"I did it."
Kurt's voice sounded rough and that by itself told Blaine what he'd done, and he was almost afraid to ask. "Well? How'd it go?"
"He didn't seem surprised," Kurt chuckled and Blaine adjusted the phone, trying to keep his excitement at bay. He and Kurt couldn't date yet, he knew that, but at least now Kurt didn't have a boyfriend or a fiancé or anything, and that made him happier than he would have thought possible. "And he seemed...resigned to it, almost. He did ask if it was because of you, and I told him no, that it just had been a long time coming and it was better for both of us to end it before we got in too deep."
Kurt sounded a little sad and Blaine couldn't blame him: no matter what he had felt for Carter in the end, at one point he had been sure enough to consider marrying him, so he had to have loved him.
"Well, I know we can't do more than be friends, but this was still a break-up and I could always go for a sundae..." he trailed off, hearing Kurt snort on the other end of the line.
"Any excuse for ice cream, Blaine Anderson," he teased, and Blaine felt his whole body get a little warmer because oh, God, the teasing and the flirting, they could do that now, and he was very happy about that.
"Any excuse for ice cream with you," he replied in kind and heard Kurt sigh.
"Sounds wonderful. Give me ten minutes and I'll be at your place, okay?" he asked, and Blaine smiled to himself.
"Yeah," he whispered, and Kurt said his goodbyes before hanging up as Blaine slowly put his phone down and tried to stop from grinning madly.
Things weren't fixed, not yet, but now they had the chance to try and start fixing them.
And he was going to make sure he did.
Chapter Seven
Chapter Nine
Notes:
1. Yes, things are looking up for the boys, but it won’t be all sunshine and roses from here on out, either!!
2. The lyrics are from “I Can Wait Forever” by Simple Plan.
3. I think that’s it! Hope you enjoyed :)
Author:AoiTsukikage
Rating:NC-17 eventually
Characters/Pairing:Eventual Blaine/Kurt, Kurt/OMC to begin with, others mentioned
Chapter:8/?
Word Count:1902
Spoilers:Up to and including 4x07
Summary Blaine and Kurt never reconciled after their break-up, and Blaine pulled away from everybody he knew and decided to go it alone. Now, four years later, with his life in shambles, he's got a chance to get back everything he thought he'd lost: his friends, his happiness...and Kurt.
Chapter Eight
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes
Man, I wish that I could stay and I can't lie
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
But I can wait, I can wait forever
I know it feels like forever,
I guess it’s just the price I’ve gotta pay
Blaine woke up with a start when he heard the sound of somebody shuffling through the room, groaning and opening his eyes to see Finn grinning at him. "Hey, dude. Didn't mean to wake you, but I wanted to ask if you guys want in on pizza? It's late already so I figured...and Kurt'll eat some of that like super healthy shit from the place around the corner, so d'you wanna stay?" he asked softly, and Blaine nodded before he could stop himself.
"Should I..."
"Nah, stay. He's been working too hard and he never listens to me when I tell him that, so it's good for him to rest," Finn patted Kurt's shoulder under the blanket as the other man grumbled but didn't wake up, and Blaine let his head thump against the arm of the couch as he drifted again.
He should move. He should get up and apologize to Kurt for falling asleep with him. He should...
"Dude, you look about ready to bust out of your skin. It's cool, he probably loves having you there," Finn said as he picked up his phone, walking into the kitchen to call as Blaine decided that Finn was probably right. Still, was it really okay for him to be here, curled up with Kurt?
If Finn thought it was, and if he was okay with it, it probably was, he reasoned, and snuggled down a little more. He could hear Finn talking quietly and then moving around, so he forced his eyes to stay open because it would have been all too easy to drop off again.
"Twenty minutes," Finn whispered, coming over and smiling at him. "Seriously, dude, relax. I'll wake you when it gets here, or we can watch sports or something and you can stay there?" he suggested and Blaine nodded, because staying awake would probably be the best option right now. Finn grinned and flipped the channel over to sports highlights and Blaine started absently carding his fingers through Kurt's soft hair, hearing the other man sigh, and when he looked down again Kurt was blinking sleepily up at him.
"Hey," he whispered, and Kurt hummed and snuggled closer. "Good nap?"
"Uh-huh," Kurt replied softly. "You didn't have to stay..."
"Of course I did," Blaine replied, tipping his head as Kurt raised his own and oh, God, they were way too close. "Kurt..."
"I know," Kurt assured him, dropping back to rest on Blaine's chest. "But I...never mind. Thank you," he closed his eyes again.
"Dinner'll be like fifteen minutes, dude. I got pizza," Finn put in and instead of being shocked Finn was there, like Blaine would expect him to be, Kurt merely nodded and tucked his head under Blaine's chin.
"Kurt?" Blaine asked carefully, because he could tell that Kurt's mind was racing and he needed to know what was going on in there. "What is it? What's..."
"Do you...you both think I should call off this engagement," he said, and it was a statement.
"Kurt, I..." Blaine started but Kurt shook his head.
"I know you'll say that I should do what I want, but from the bottom of your heart, do you think I should marry Carter?" he looked up again, his stormy eyes boring into Blaine's. "I know what Finn will say, and what Sam and Puck and my father and everybody else says, but..."
"What's making you re-think it?" Finn asked, leaning forward so that he was pointed toward the couch. "Like, why all of a sudden?"
"Because of what happened this week. The fact that he was...trying to keep me from seeing you, even if he didn't make it obvious. He doesn't control me, and if I want you in my life, that's not for him to say 'no' to," Kurt said firmly, pushing himself up again. "And if he's going to get that jealous, we're going to have a problem," he added, looking guilty as he took his hand out from under the blanket and stared at his naked finger. "I don't even...I barely notice that I've stopped wearing it. Does that...make me a bad person?" he looked up, so wracked with obvious guilt that Blaine had to physically restrain himself from kissing him.
"Nah, dude," Finn answered for him. "I mean, look at it this way: Rach 'n I were engaged, right? And we broke it off, and we're still cool with each other but we just knew that it wasn't gonna work. It's way better to do it now than be unhappy and have to get a divorce or something, right?" he smiled, and Kurt eventually smiled back and nodded.
"You're right. I'm not sure how I'll break the news to him, but I've kind of realized over the last few weeks that he's...he's not the right one for me," he said, and it made Blaine's heart soar to hear it. "I just...I don't know how to do this. I've never had to break up with anybody," he laughed, a little bitterly, and Blaine winced because...yeah, he'd kind of made that one really easy for Kurt, hadn't he?
"Kurt, I..."
"Don't," Kurt said firmly. "Please. I've moved on from that, but I'm still...if I break up with him now, he'll think it's because of...well, because of you," Kurt admitted with a shrug, and Blaine had to accept that he had a point. Carter obviously didn't like him being around Kurt, and it would be logical to jump to that conclusion. "Which means that...Blaine," Kurt's voice was serious as he stared up at Blaine and Blaine nodded to show that he was taking this seriously as well. "We...you probably know that...I'd like to try again. You and me."
"Yeah?" Blaine let out his breath in a 'whoosh', almost laughing, but with the way Kurt had kissed him at Christmas and was willingly cuddling with him it wasn't hard to guess that he was. "I mean...yes. Of course. But..."
"You know there's a 'but'," Kurt bit his lip and sighed. "We couldn't...it wouldn't be fair to him if we suddenly started going out. He'd find out, somehow, and that would only add fuel to the idea that I called it off because of you," he looked genuinely conflicted and Blaine immediately felt bad.
Yes, he'd had a feeling since Christmas that Kurt was...well, coming back around to him, but he never wanted to make this difficult for the older man.
He'd done enough of that back when they were together the first time.
"Kurt, we don't have to," he said gently. "I mean, yes, if you wanted to...if you're willing to give me a chance again, I'll take it. Gladly. But if it's going to cause trouble, we can just...stay friends for a while," he finished, even though the thought of being with Kurt...really being with Kurt...was something that he didn't want to delay any longer than he had to.
"Thank you," Kurt reached to stroke gentle fingers through his hair and Blaine hugged him a little tighter as the phone rang and Finn bounded over to answer.
"Pizza's here, dudes, so you should like stop cuddling long enough to eat," he teased, running out the door to go pick it up, and Kurt pushed himself up and leaned into kiss Blaine's cheek before he sat up.
"Thank you. For just...letting me get to this place on my own," he whispered, and Blaine didn't need to ask what he meant.
"It wasn't easy. All of them were trying to do everything they could to set us up, but I knew that you wouldn't appreciate that," he admitted, and Kurt gave him a grin and finally got off.
"You're right. I wouldn't have. But I'm hungry, so let's eat some pizza," he announced, heading to the cupboard to set out plates and glasses, and Blaine felt his heart get a little bit lighter.
000
He wasn't sure what exactly to think later on that night, standing in his shower with the hot water pounding down on him and his hand firmly fisted around his hard cock.
He didn't do this much anymore, hadn't felt like it in a long, long time and sex was purely physical release for him, but for once this wasn't just clinical and without feeling, because for the first time in years he let himself imagine somebody else with him.
Kurt on his knees, eyes wide and blue in the harsh lights of the bathroom, hair sticking to his forehead in the water's spray as he skimmed his fingers along the underside of Blaine's erection, a wicked grin on his lips.
Kurt's mouth on him, warm and wet and slow, hands running up his thighs and gripping his ass to push him closer, eyes sliding closed as he sucked.
Kurt pressing him against the wall, cock sliding against his opening as he jerked Blaine off, pressing feverish kisses to his mouth as Blaine pulled him closer and tried to feel as much slick skin against his own as he could.
When he came it was with a moan of Kurt's name that he couldn't even bother to be ashamed about, and when he finally tumbled into bed he fell asleep more quickly than he could remember doing in a longer than he cared to think about.
He was going to get Kurt back, and this time he wasn't going to screw up and lose him.
He knew it.
000
"I did it."
Kurt's voice sounded rough and that by itself told Blaine what he'd done, and he was almost afraid to ask. "Well? How'd it go?"
"He didn't seem surprised," Kurt chuckled and Blaine adjusted the phone, trying to keep his excitement at bay. He and Kurt couldn't date yet, he knew that, but at least now Kurt didn't have a boyfriend or a fiancé or anything, and that made him happier than he would have thought possible. "And he seemed...resigned to it, almost. He did ask if it was because of you, and I told him no, that it just had been a long time coming and it was better for both of us to end it before we got in too deep."
Kurt sounded a little sad and Blaine couldn't blame him: no matter what he had felt for Carter in the end, at one point he had been sure enough to consider marrying him, so he had to have loved him.
"Well, I know we can't do more than be friends, but this was still a break-up and I could always go for a sundae..." he trailed off, hearing Kurt snort on the other end of the line.
"Any excuse for ice cream, Blaine Anderson," he teased, and Blaine felt his whole body get a little warmer because oh, God, the teasing and the flirting, they could do that now, and he was very happy about that.
"Any excuse for ice cream with you," he replied in kind and heard Kurt sigh.
"Sounds wonderful. Give me ten minutes and I'll be at your place, okay?" he asked, and Blaine smiled to himself.
"Yeah," he whispered, and Kurt said his goodbyes before hanging up as Blaine slowly put his phone down and tried to stop from grinning madly.
Things weren't fixed, not yet, but now they had the chance to try and start fixing them.
And he was going to make sure he did.
Chapter Seven
Chapter Nine
Notes:
1. Yes, things are looking up for the boys, but it won’t be all sunshine and roses from here on out, either!!
2. The lyrics are from “I Can Wait Forever” by Simple Plan.
3. I think that’s it! Hope you enjoyed :)