Glee-Fic: Hold On To What You Know, Chapter 1/?
Title: Hold On To What You Know
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: NC-17 eventually
Characters/Pairing: Eventual Blaine/Kurt, Kurt/OMC to begin with, others mentioned
Chapter: 1/?
Word Count: 2285
Spoilers: Up to and including 4x04
Summary: If you'd have asked Blaine Anderson at the beginning of his senior year of high school what he'd envisioned his life to be like four years from then, he would have had a very clear answer for you. Now, four years later, his life is nothing like he'd planned. But maybe, even after all that time, things could change.
Hold On To What You Know
Chapter One
Maybe a thief stole your heart,
Or maybe we just drifted apart.
Back then this thing was running on momentum, love, and trust
That paradise is buried in the dust.
"Holy shit! Blaine fucking Anderson!" was the only warning Blaine got before he was lifted off his feet into the air, and he clutched at the man's shoulders and yelped as he spun them around a couple of times before setting him down. "Hey, dude!"
"Hey...Finn," Blaine looked away, because looking at Finn Hudson was about as painful as looking at his ex-boyfriend, but he finally forced his eyes to take in the other man and he looked...good. Really good. "You look well."
"Well, not quite a starving artist, but we haven't made it big yet. Obviously," Finn grinned, and Blaine was a little relieved to see there were apparently no hard feelings anymore. He and Finn had always gotten along, even after what had happened with Kurt, but he knew Finn's loyalty lay with his stepbrother and not with him.
"So...your band..."
"Oh, dude, yeah. Me, Puck 'n Sam. Puck's pool cleaning business never went anywhere and he called me up one day and said that he'd rather play music anyway, so Sam learned bass guitar and...yeah. Here we are!" he spun around, nearly knocking about ten glasses over, and Blaine reached to catch them. "Sorry. Still a klutz," he laughed.
Blaine tried to hide his smile, but it was really good to see Finn again. He'd closed himself off ever since high school, didn't have many friends, lived alone, and Finn Hudson was a veritable whirlwind of energy when he wanted to be and apparently he wanted to be today. "It's fine. So, should we go through everything? We can set up on the stage and I'll..." he stopped, noticing that Finn's eyes were narrowed and he was looking at him curiously, and shrugged. "Is that..."
"Blaine. Dude. I haven't seen you in four years," he said slowly, moving forward. "Don't you just want to...sit down and talk?"
Yes, Blaine's mind screamed, but he knew if he did he'd fall apart completely. Still... "We should...how about I show you everything and then we can...grab a drink?"
"Yeah. Awesome," Finn clapped him on the shoulder before pulling him in for another hug, and Blaine tried not to cry as he willingly went into the embrace.
There'd be enough tears later, he was sure of it.
000
The setup went quickly, Finn knowing pretty much where he'd need everything and Blaine having done it enough that it was easy to get out all the proper cables and wiring, leaving it so that all they'd have to do for the sound check was plug in their instruments and amps.
Finn invited him back to his place for a drink (turned out he lived right around the corner), and Blaine accepted without thinking because he wasn't needed at the bar until later and it was only after he'd crossed the front threshold of the rather spacious condo that it hit him: Kurt lived here, too. He had to, because it was too clean for Finn, and there was a distinct tang in the air that was all too reminiscent of Kurt's favourite Marc Jacobs cologne. It gave him pause for the briefest of seconds before he squared his shoulders and entered the space, sitting at the table at Finn's insistence as he poured them glasses of sparkling water ("I know, right? But he loves it," he'd grinned before his face had fallen. "Oh, shit, you didn't know we lived together..."), still looking wary as he set them down but Blaine shook his head.
"It's okay. I'm not ready to see him right now...and I doubt he'd want to see me without any warning...but it's fine that you live together. How did that come about? Last I heard he was living with Rachel and going to NYADA," he asked vaguely, running his finger around the rim of his glass as Finn sighed and sat back in his seat.
"Where to start, dude? I guess...okay, so after your graduation Puck came back to town for good. He didn't like living in LA and he knew he didn't want to clean pools for the next sixty years, so he suggested starting a band. Sam came in with us and that summer we moved up to New York, in a place really close to where Kurt and Rachel lived. We got a few gigs at the local bar and through the years we've just kinda moved up. After Kurt graduated from NYADA he tried getting some Broadway stuff, but...like he'd always said, there's no place for him there as a leading man so he called his old boss at Vogue who gave him kinda like a junior designing job, and that's what he's doing now and he loves it," he smiled and looked away. "So once he got that job and I was making more money, I decided to move in with him just 'cuz we were used to it from back home," he stopped, taking a nervous sip of his drink, and Blaine knew that he wasn't saying something and he wondered if he could prod.
"Is there...something else? Does Rachel still live in Bushwick? What happened to you guys?" he tried to keep his tone light because the last he'd heard they were starting something again, but Finn twisted his mouth in a wry half-smile and his eyes were dark and sad.
"Nah, she...we tried, for a little bit, but she and Brody started dating like seriously and...they're engaged. So she lives with him," he laughed bitterly. "I always knew she was too bright for me."
"Hey, no," Blaine reached to touch Finn's hand without thinking, unable to pull away even though he wasn't sure if he was allowed to do that. Finn gave him a tiny smile, obviously accepting of it, and Blaine squeezed his hand, the entire exchange sending a thrill through his body. It had been so long since he'd touched somebody just for pure comfort, and it was stunning to him how much he'd missed it. "Finn, trust me. If it's not her, it's because there's somebody even more amazing out there."
"Sure," Finn laughed wryly, shaking his head before downing his water. "But right, we're not talking about me. Anything else you want to know?"
" Kurt," Blaine said immediately, and Finn heaved a heavy sigh like he'd known this was coming at some point. "Is he...how's he doing? With..." Blaine stopped, embarrassed, and stared down at the tabletop. He wanted to ask if Kurt had a boyfriend, if Kurt was involved, if there was a chance that Kurt could let him back in if he groveled hard enough, but how pathetic would that make him look?
"I'm..." Finn paused. "I need another drink, but I don't wanna make you wait, so...I'm gonna rip the band aid off as fast as I can," he gulped and Blaine felt a sinking in his stomach, because... "he's engaged, too" Finn said slowly, and Blaine had to resist the urge to clutch at his chest because it literally felt like a spear of ice straight through his heart.
"He...good. Good, he..." Blaine paused, mouth dropping open because he couldn't even lie about this, and Finn squeezed his hand a little harder.
"Dude. I know. I...his name's Carter, he's a year younger than Kurt and he's staying in the dorms at NYADA which is why Kurt's not living with him and why he's not living here, 'cuz it's too far away from the school, but...I don't like him," Finn looked shocked that those words had come out of his mouth and Blaine cocked his head to the side, waiting.
"Why not? He's...he's not..." Blaine stammered and Finn shook his head, Blaine instantly feeling a measure of relief
"No, he's not...abusive or anything, dude, he's just...and don't take this the wrong way, but he's not you. He doesn't treat Kurt like he's his world and Kurt...he doesn't deserve any less than that, y'know?" Finn looked wistful for a moment, staring somewhere past Blaine. "I always thought...if I was gay, if I...had been able to like return his feelings, I'd treat him so good, and you...you treated him like that, Blaine. This guy...it's like he doesn't even realize what an amazing person Kurt is because he's always staring at his ass," Finn wrinkled his nose, looking uncomfortable, and Blaine was torn between laughing and being horribly angry because Kurt was gorgeous, yes, but he was so much more than that: driven and fiercely intelligent and the wittiest man Blaine had ever met, and he deserved somebody that saw him for all of that and loved every inch of his body. "So yeah. That's why I've got issues with him. He treats Kurt like he's a prize he's won, not like he's...lucky to be with him."
"God," Blaine sat back, still holding Finn's hand, and shook his head angrily. "He deserves so much more than that, Finn."
"You don't have to tell me. I mean, I promised to be his best man and everything, but I've kinda been thinking about ways to stop the whole thing. I'm not letting Kurt get into that, because who knows how it'll turn out, y'know?" he looked down at the table again, finally letting Blaine's fingers slip from his grasp.
"So what can you do? Have you told him?" Blaine questioned and Finn shrugged one shoulder awkwardly, like he thought Blaine should already know the answer to that. "Of course you have. But he's so stubborn he won't admit that maybe it's not as great as he's imagining it to be." he guessed, not phrasing it as a question because he knew, even after all this time, that he was right.
"Bingo, dude," Finn gave him a tiny smile. "So maybe I'm not being totally unselfish when I say this but...I really hope he gives you another chance. I'd much rather have you for a brother-in-law and Burt still talks about you, y'know? He always liked you a lot, and he hates Carter more than I do," Finn said, utterly truthful, and Blaine sighed and knew that Finn was only confirming what he himself had wanted for a long time.
He wanted to be with Kurt. Finn wanted him to be with Kurt. Kurt's dad wanted him to be with Kurt.
Now it was just a matter of making everything up to Kurt, and convincing Kurt to give him a second chance that he really didn't deserve.
"He'll be there tonight," Finn seemed to know what was on his mind and Blaine's head snapped up, suddenly feeling a bit of apprehension. He wasn't sure if he was ready yet, if Kurt would respond well, if... "Dude, calm down! Just...trust me on this. He misses you, too," Finn smiled at him and Blaine tentatively smiled back, because he'd guessed that, at least a little. "He plays keyboards for us sometimes but he's got something big at work coming up so he bowed out of this concert, but he's off tonight so he's gonna watch the set-up and everything. Alone," Finn raised one eyebrow and Blaine snorted, but it was good to know he wouldn't have to deal with an undesirable fiancé right away.
"Okay. I'll...I'll make it work," Blaine gulped, but Finn's eyes told him that he believed Blaine could do it.
Blaine wasn't sure how, but he knew that he had to. Somehow.
000
Things at the bar weren't as awkward as he'd feared. He and Puck had never been all that close, after all, but the other man grunted and clapped him on the back before going to tune his guitar. Sam had let out a yelp and practically lifted him off the ground, nuzzling into his neck and murmuring, "I missed you so much, dude, I was so worried..." and he'd always been the one Blaine had felt the most guilty about pulling away from.
Sam had been there for him in senior year, in a way nobody else had, willing to listen and try to understand and he'd brought Blaine back from a pretty dark place so Blaine vowed to himself that he wouldn't lose touch with Sam again, no matter what else happened tonight.
He could use the other man in his life again.
"I know," he replied softly, getting squished into another warm hug. "I'm sorry."
"Nah, don't worry," Sam pulled back and grinned. "We've all got our demons. But we're totally getting a drink after we're done our sound check and stuff, you in?"
"I work here, so I'll be around," Blaine laughed, letting Sam go and do his thing while he sat at a nearby table and watched them. It took him back to junior year of high school, in a way, seeing them all jam out again, and they'd all gotten better in the few years between then and now and Blaine had a feeling that Kurt had been writing some of their material, since there were some clever turns of phrase that he was pretty sure none of them could come up with themselves.
They'd gotten through about half their set, Blaine tweaking things here and there as he judged the acoustics of the room, when the door opened and for the second time that day he froze, seeing a figure step through.
He got a glimpse of a long, form-fitting coat, jeans that were too skinny to be legal, boots that hugged his legs like they were made for him, and when he finally let himself look at Kurt's face he thought that time had only made him more beautiful.
He croaked something, not even audible over the crash of instruments, but somehow Kurt turned to him and met his eyes, his own widening.
"Blaine?"
Prologue
Chapter Two
Notes:
1. Yes, Blaine and Kurt still don’t talk directly, but I needed to get the backstory out there (and you all knew Finn was the drummer, right?? ;) ) I’ll probably put some song lyrics at the start of every chapter to kind of relate to it, the one used here is “The Way It Was” by The Killers.
2. I’ve re-vamped my tumblrs again and now I only have one, and it’s at monferovercriss, so come check it out if you want to :)
3. That’s about it! Please tell me if this is still interesting, and next chapter we’ll finally get the boys interacting!!