Glee-Fic: Changes, Chapter Nine (Finn/Kurt)
Title: Changes
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: R overall
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Chapter: 9/?
Word Count: 2253
Spoilers: Up to and including 2x09
Summary: Finn's still trying to make up for what he said, but Kurt's colder to him than ever. And he'd do pretty much anything to change that.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)
Changes
Chapter Nine
Finn was still dancing, humming ‘Just the Way You Are’ to himself and grabbing for Kurt’s hand as they swayed in the basement, Kurt holding him close and smiling. What Finn had done for him had been…amazing, and the temptation to kiss him right there in the middle of the dance floor was almost too great to resist.
Now he could, though. Carole and his father were staying at the hotel for the night, so they had the house to themselves, but…
But tomorrow this could all end. If the school board did nothing about Karofsky, his parents had promised they’d used their honeymoon money so he could transfer to Dalton Academy. He felt horribly guilty over it but they had both assured him that his safety was the most important thing, so right now he could only hope that Karofsky got his proper comeuppance and he would feel safe at McKinley once more.
He was doubtful, however. The school board hadn’t been very reliable so far.
Also, it was a complete mood killer, and he wasn’t in the frame of mind to do anything besides sleep and he couldn’t tell Finn until everything was for certain so…he had to brush him off.
Somehow.
“Hey,” Finn’s breath was warm in his ear, his hands hot on Kurt’s shoulder and waist through his suit jacket, and Kurt let himself fall into the embrace for a mere moment before forcing himself upright. “Mom ‘n Burt are…y’know…so why don’t we…”
“Mm, I’m tired,” Kurt faked an over-exaggerated yawn, leaning into Finn’s body like his own feet couldn’t keep him standing anymore, and Finn caught him and pressed a kiss into his hair. “Sorry. I…”
“Nah, it’s cool,” Finn sounded a little hurt but Kurt thought he was putting on a convincing enough performance that the other boy wouldn’t suspect he had ulterior motives for wanting to sleep. “Really. Let’s sleep.”
“ ‘Kay,” Kurt walked wearily to the washroom, staring at himself in the mirror and trying not to cry before rushing through his evening routine (not that he’d admit that if asked) and sliding into bed, not wanting to be away from Finn for a second.
Dalton was a boarding school, after all, and they’d only be able to sleep together two nights a week, which was…not a pleasant thought.
Finn seemed to sense that he was down somehow and pulled him close, hands under his shirt and kissing him softly.
“Hey.”
“Hmm?”
“They’re married. It doesn’t change us, right?” he whispered, like he thought their newfound stepbrother status was the cause of Kurt’s mournfulness.
“Of course not,” he promised, throat closing with impending tears, and Finn kissed him again as Kurt tried to forget all about what the morning might bring.
For a moment, it actually worked.
~~~
“You didn’t tell me.”
Finn’s eyes were blazing as Kurt glanced up from packing his duffel bag, just enough clothes to get him through to the end of the week before he could come home. He’d miss being able to wear his normal wardrobe, but blending in might be preferable for once.
Maybe he’d be able to make it a week before being labelled ‘the gay kid’.
But right now he had to deal with the Wrath of Finn, and he had a feeling it wasn’t going to be pretty.
“I couldn’t,” he said gently, straightening up and brushing some dust off of his pants. “It wasn’t for sure until today, when I found out that the school board had no power to do anything to Karofsky. Meaning that he could do almost anything to me and he wouldn’t get punished for it, and that’s far too scary a thought to dwell on, especially if he knows he won’t be reprimanded for it. It could have gone farther than a kiss, Finn,” he warned, eyes downcast as a shiver passed through his body. “I don’t know that he would have, but as he’s threatened to end my life, I wouldn’t put it past him. I can’t…be in that environment, and until McKinley adopts the same kind of no-tolerance bullying policy Dalton has, I can’t come back. I’m sorry. It’s the last thing I want to do a-“
Finn cut him off by pulling him into a tight hug, face pressed into his hair and hands clutching at his clothing. “I wish I could fix it all for you,” Finn sounded close to tears, his voice rough. “I know I can’t, but I can’t lose you, Kurt. I can’t,” he hiccupped and Kurt tried to soothe him although he wasn’t much better off.
“You’re not losing me. I’ll be back on the weekends…”
“Wait, weekends?” Finn yelped in his ear. “You’re…you’re staying there??”
“I have to,” Kurt shook his head. “It’d be four hours of driving a day and if it snows…”
“What about us? In bed? Together?” Finn sounded completely wounded and Kurt hated that what he had to say next would probably hurt even more.
“Weekends. Now let me go. I need to drive there tonight…”
“Tonight?!” Finn yelled and Kurt shushed him. “No, no you can’t…Kurt…”
“I have to. I can’t be late for class tomorrow,” Kurt hesitated before hugging Finn fiercely and feeling the other boy hug him back. “I…I’ll see you Saturday. I’ll call you.”
“You’d better,” Finn tilted his head up for a kiss and Kurt returned it immediately. “I don’t like you being alone there with Blaine.”
“Says the man with a girlfriend,” Kurt chuckled before shouldering his bag. “It’ll be fine, Finn. Really.”
“Yeah. Right,” Finn shrugged and turned away so quickly Kurt knew it was to hide his tears, and he tried to keep his own in check while he climbed the stairs.
It was awfully hard to drive while crying.
~~~
Kurt didn’t call him.
He didn’t come home that weekend, and apparently it was because Sectionals were the next week and the homework from Dalton was already bogging him down, or at least that’s what he heard from Burt because of course Kurt wasn’t talking to him.
He didn’t even talk to him at Sectionals, though Finn smiled and waved and generally tried to be happy for him, but Kurt looked…lost. Unhappy. And even Rachel prompting him to smile only really got a pained grimace to cross his face.
But Finn was falling apart.
And then Rachel cheated on him for something she had no right to be mad about in the first place, seeing as how she’d had a different boyfriend (freaking Jesse) at the time, and he’d broken up with her (not for the cheating. That would be hyper-hypo-hypno…a really crappy thing to do) because she’d done that intentionally to hurt him. What he’d been doing with Kurt had never been to hurt her, which didn’t make it right, but…if she cared about him that little, it didn’t even pay for them to try and fix this. It wasn’t worth it.
He was only glad Puck had had the sense to stop when he did.
And so, he’d lost Kurt, he’d lost Rachel, he’d lost the lead solo at Sectionals to Sam, he was still getting called every gay slur under the sun by the jocks, and he couldn’t talk to anybody about it.
His mom was going to kill him, but he needed to get to Dalton.
He needed Kurt.
~~~
“See? It’s not so hard,” Blaine scrawled down an equation, leaning much too close to Kurt to do so, and Kurt unconsciously leant against his arm as he scribbled a few more numbers. “There. Solved.”
“Thank you,” Kurt sighed. “It’s not particularly hard, but my brain isn’t used to working this much. I swear if the math teachers at McKinley looked at this they wouldn’t have any idea how to solve it,” he wrinkled his nose and moved to the next one, glad when Blaine didn’t move away.
They stayed like that for about half-an-hour, touching now and then, and Kurt saw how Blaine smiled at him and thought that, if all went well, he might soon have a real boyfriend.
Because Finn had never really counted…and he wasn’t thinking about Finn.
He had Blaine, now.
Or, he would have Blaine soon. If everything worked out the way he wished it would.
“So. Enough work for tonight,” Blaine reached to close his book, arm brushing his in the process, and Kurt nodded.
“I think so.”
“Good. Wanna come to my room?” the other boy raised an eyebrow and Kurt laughed before accepting. He knew the invitation was innocent and all they’d discuss would be the new Warblers setlist or something, but it was the thought that counted.
“I’d love to,” he admitted, blushing a little when Blaine took his hand, and they were just about to leave the room when Wes came in.
“Kurt, there’s somebody here for you. Tall, rather lost, said he was your stepbrother? I sent him to your room…” he trailed off and Kurt blanched, because no, why would Finn visit him here when he’d purposefully refused to call and didn’t visit and didn’t acknowledge him and…
But Finn was here. And Kurt couldn’t leave him alone.
“Sorry, Blaine. That’s Finn,” he smiled apologetically and Blaine squeezed his hand in return.
“No worries. We can continue this another night.”
“Right. Thank you,” Kurt said to Wes as he left the room and made his way to his (thankfully unshared) dormitory.
~~~
“Was I wrong to break up with her?”
“No,” Kurt said instantly, soaking up Finn’s warmth as they lay in the darkness, the other boy’s breaths hot against the back of his neck. “No, what she did was…no,” he settled on. “I hope, however, that you didn’t tell her it was because of the cheating…”
“No! I mean, how could I, when we…” he tightened his arm around Kurt’s waist and sighed. “I told her it was because she did something intentionally just to hurt me. Not because she felt anything for Puck, but just because she wanted revenge. You and I…it was never like that for us, man,” he said softly and Kurt nodded.
“I know. And I’m…I’m sorry that I didn’t…that I…”
“I know,” Finn repeated him and flipped him around, brushing back his hair and staring at him. “I get it. But I’m single now, and…”
“No,” Kurt could feel tears start to creep into his eyes, and dear God he’d cried enough for about a hundred people lately but this conversation needed to happen even if it was going to break him. “No, Finn. You’re not gay. You’re barely even not-straight. You can kiss me and jerk me off and hold me, but could you ever do that at school? Hold my hand in the hallway? Kiss me at the mall?”
Kurt could tell by Finn’s face, as it grew more horrified with every suggestion, that the answer was ‘no.’
They both knew it.
“Blaine can. And…what we have is...powerful, but…it’s best to stay like this for a while. I needed you from the beginning. I don’t think you ever needed me…”
“Of course I did!”
“Well,” Kurt wasn’t sure whether to believe that. Finn had done most of the comforting, all of the sexual initiating, and while Kurt believed he cared about him, he was sceptical as to the depth of those feelings. “Still, it’s…it’s for the best.”
Finn was quiet after that, sniffling now and again, and Kurt kept looking at him until Finn leaned in for a kiss that Kurt really shouldn’t have returned, but…
It was their first kiss with Finn as an unattached man.
This was just for them.
It turned heated quickly, as it always did for them, and by the time they were shirtless and gripping onto each other like lifelines Kurt knew it wasn’t going to be this easy.
They couldn’t just call everything off and expect it to end.
And until he had Blaine for certain, was it really so bad for he and Finn to keep doing what they were doing?
Probably, but with Finn’s lips against his jaw and his tongue trailing over the sensitive curve of his neck, he really couldn’t figure out why.
“Okay,” he finally gasped, Finn kissing down his chest.
“Okay what?”
“Okay, we’ll…whatever this is, let’s just…God, Finn,” he groaned and then stopped, freezing when he heard movement from the next room over and realized they weren’t in their basement anymore.
“What was…”
“Crap,” Kurt pulled Finn up and hugged him, whispering, “We can’t here. If they think I’m…I’ll be expelled. This weekend.”
“Will you actually be home this weekend?” Finn looked like he didn’t quite believe this but Kurt kissed him softly and nodded.
“I promise. But what about you?”
“What about me?” Finn shrugged.
“How are you getting to school tomorrow? It’s only Thursday,” Kurt pointed out and Finn laughed sheepishly.
“Sorry. I just…I really needed you. Man, I’ll probably be grounded for the next month,” he didn’t look particularly ashamed of this and Kurt had to admit that he was glad Finn had come.
Maybe he’d needed this, too.
“Probably,” Kurt conceded, stroking down Finn’s back. “But let’s get some sleep, okay?”
“Yeah. Cool,” Finn smiled, happier than Kurt had seen him all night, and he let the other boy wrap him up and kiss him softly before he closed his eyes, knowing that he’d sleep better tonight than he had since he’d come to Dalton in the first place.
Finn just…did that for him.
Previous Chapter
Notes:
1. Yes, the eternal ‘is Dalton a boarding school’ debate? From Kurt’s line about ‘I haven’t talked to Finn since the wedding’ to the fact that ‘BICO’ took place at night, I’m almost inclined to believe he *did* board at Dalton, at least for that semester, and maybe that changed after Christmas, but that’s what I’m going with for now :)
2. I hope you all enjoyed this, and let me know what you thought!!
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: R overall
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Chapter: 9/?
Word Count: 2253
Spoilers: Up to and including 2x09
Summary: Finn's still trying to make up for what he said, but Kurt's colder to him than ever. And he'd do pretty much anything to change that.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)
Changes
Chapter Nine
Finn was still dancing, humming ‘Just the Way You Are’ to himself and grabbing for Kurt’s hand as they swayed in the basement, Kurt holding him close and smiling. What Finn had done for him had been…amazing, and the temptation to kiss him right there in the middle of the dance floor was almost too great to resist.
Now he could, though. Carole and his father were staying at the hotel for the night, so they had the house to themselves, but…
But tomorrow this could all end. If the school board did nothing about Karofsky, his parents had promised they’d used their honeymoon money so he could transfer to Dalton Academy. He felt horribly guilty over it but they had both assured him that his safety was the most important thing, so right now he could only hope that Karofsky got his proper comeuppance and he would feel safe at McKinley once more.
He was doubtful, however. The school board hadn’t been very reliable so far.
Also, it was a complete mood killer, and he wasn’t in the frame of mind to do anything besides sleep and he couldn’t tell Finn until everything was for certain so…he had to brush him off.
Somehow.
“Hey,” Finn’s breath was warm in his ear, his hands hot on Kurt’s shoulder and waist through his suit jacket, and Kurt let himself fall into the embrace for a mere moment before forcing himself upright. “Mom ‘n Burt are…y’know…so why don’t we…”
“Mm, I’m tired,” Kurt faked an over-exaggerated yawn, leaning into Finn’s body like his own feet couldn’t keep him standing anymore, and Finn caught him and pressed a kiss into his hair. “Sorry. I…”
“Nah, it’s cool,” Finn sounded a little hurt but Kurt thought he was putting on a convincing enough performance that the other boy wouldn’t suspect he had ulterior motives for wanting to sleep. “Really. Let’s sleep.”
“ ‘Kay,” Kurt walked wearily to the washroom, staring at himself in the mirror and trying not to cry before rushing through his evening routine (not that he’d admit that if asked) and sliding into bed, not wanting to be away from Finn for a second.
Dalton was a boarding school, after all, and they’d only be able to sleep together two nights a week, which was…not a pleasant thought.
Finn seemed to sense that he was down somehow and pulled him close, hands under his shirt and kissing him softly.
“Hey.”
“Hmm?”
“They’re married. It doesn’t change us, right?” he whispered, like he thought their newfound stepbrother status was the cause of Kurt’s mournfulness.
“Of course not,” he promised, throat closing with impending tears, and Finn kissed him again as Kurt tried to forget all about what the morning might bring.
For a moment, it actually worked.
~~~
“You didn’t tell me.”
Finn’s eyes were blazing as Kurt glanced up from packing his duffel bag, just enough clothes to get him through to the end of the week before he could come home. He’d miss being able to wear his normal wardrobe, but blending in might be preferable for once.
Maybe he’d be able to make it a week before being labelled ‘the gay kid’.
But right now he had to deal with the Wrath of Finn, and he had a feeling it wasn’t going to be pretty.
“I couldn’t,” he said gently, straightening up and brushing some dust off of his pants. “It wasn’t for sure until today, when I found out that the school board had no power to do anything to Karofsky. Meaning that he could do almost anything to me and he wouldn’t get punished for it, and that’s far too scary a thought to dwell on, especially if he knows he won’t be reprimanded for it. It could have gone farther than a kiss, Finn,” he warned, eyes downcast as a shiver passed through his body. “I don’t know that he would have, but as he’s threatened to end my life, I wouldn’t put it past him. I can’t…be in that environment, and until McKinley adopts the same kind of no-tolerance bullying policy Dalton has, I can’t come back. I’m sorry. It’s the last thing I want to do a-“
Finn cut him off by pulling him into a tight hug, face pressed into his hair and hands clutching at his clothing. “I wish I could fix it all for you,” Finn sounded close to tears, his voice rough. “I know I can’t, but I can’t lose you, Kurt. I can’t,” he hiccupped and Kurt tried to soothe him although he wasn’t much better off.
“You’re not losing me. I’ll be back on the weekends…”
“Wait, weekends?” Finn yelped in his ear. “You’re…you’re staying there??”
“I have to,” Kurt shook his head. “It’d be four hours of driving a day and if it snows…”
“What about us? In bed? Together?” Finn sounded completely wounded and Kurt hated that what he had to say next would probably hurt even more.
“Weekends. Now let me go. I need to drive there tonight…”
“Tonight?!” Finn yelled and Kurt shushed him. “No, no you can’t…Kurt…”
“I have to. I can’t be late for class tomorrow,” Kurt hesitated before hugging Finn fiercely and feeling the other boy hug him back. “I…I’ll see you Saturday. I’ll call you.”
“You’d better,” Finn tilted his head up for a kiss and Kurt returned it immediately. “I don’t like you being alone there with Blaine.”
“Says the man with a girlfriend,” Kurt chuckled before shouldering his bag. “It’ll be fine, Finn. Really.”
“Yeah. Right,” Finn shrugged and turned away so quickly Kurt knew it was to hide his tears, and he tried to keep his own in check while he climbed the stairs.
It was awfully hard to drive while crying.
~~~
Kurt didn’t call him.
He didn’t come home that weekend, and apparently it was because Sectionals were the next week and the homework from Dalton was already bogging him down, or at least that’s what he heard from Burt because of course Kurt wasn’t talking to him.
He didn’t even talk to him at Sectionals, though Finn smiled and waved and generally tried to be happy for him, but Kurt looked…lost. Unhappy. And even Rachel prompting him to smile only really got a pained grimace to cross his face.
But Finn was falling apart.
And then Rachel cheated on him for something she had no right to be mad about in the first place, seeing as how she’d had a different boyfriend (freaking Jesse) at the time, and he’d broken up with her (not for the cheating. That would be hyper-hypo-hypno…a really crappy thing to do) because she’d done that intentionally to hurt him. What he’d been doing with Kurt had never been to hurt her, which didn’t make it right, but…if she cared about him that little, it didn’t even pay for them to try and fix this. It wasn’t worth it.
He was only glad Puck had had the sense to stop when he did.
And so, he’d lost Kurt, he’d lost Rachel, he’d lost the lead solo at Sectionals to Sam, he was still getting called every gay slur under the sun by the jocks, and he couldn’t talk to anybody about it.
His mom was going to kill him, but he needed to get to Dalton.
He needed Kurt.
~~~
“See? It’s not so hard,” Blaine scrawled down an equation, leaning much too close to Kurt to do so, and Kurt unconsciously leant against his arm as he scribbled a few more numbers. “There. Solved.”
“Thank you,” Kurt sighed. “It’s not particularly hard, but my brain isn’t used to working this much. I swear if the math teachers at McKinley looked at this they wouldn’t have any idea how to solve it,” he wrinkled his nose and moved to the next one, glad when Blaine didn’t move away.
They stayed like that for about half-an-hour, touching now and then, and Kurt saw how Blaine smiled at him and thought that, if all went well, he might soon have a real boyfriend.
Because Finn had never really counted…and he wasn’t thinking about Finn.
He had Blaine, now.
Or, he would have Blaine soon. If everything worked out the way he wished it would.
“So. Enough work for tonight,” Blaine reached to close his book, arm brushing his in the process, and Kurt nodded.
“I think so.”
“Good. Wanna come to my room?” the other boy raised an eyebrow and Kurt laughed before accepting. He knew the invitation was innocent and all they’d discuss would be the new Warblers setlist or something, but it was the thought that counted.
“I’d love to,” he admitted, blushing a little when Blaine took his hand, and they were just about to leave the room when Wes came in.
“Kurt, there’s somebody here for you. Tall, rather lost, said he was your stepbrother? I sent him to your room…” he trailed off and Kurt blanched, because no, why would Finn visit him here when he’d purposefully refused to call and didn’t visit and didn’t acknowledge him and…
But Finn was here. And Kurt couldn’t leave him alone.
“Sorry, Blaine. That’s Finn,” he smiled apologetically and Blaine squeezed his hand in return.
“No worries. We can continue this another night.”
“Right. Thank you,” Kurt said to Wes as he left the room and made his way to his (thankfully unshared) dormitory.
~~~
“Was I wrong to break up with her?”
“No,” Kurt said instantly, soaking up Finn’s warmth as they lay in the darkness, the other boy’s breaths hot against the back of his neck. “No, what she did was…no,” he settled on. “I hope, however, that you didn’t tell her it was because of the cheating…”
“No! I mean, how could I, when we…” he tightened his arm around Kurt’s waist and sighed. “I told her it was because she did something intentionally just to hurt me. Not because she felt anything for Puck, but just because she wanted revenge. You and I…it was never like that for us, man,” he said softly and Kurt nodded.
“I know. And I’m…I’m sorry that I didn’t…that I…”
“I know,” Finn repeated him and flipped him around, brushing back his hair and staring at him. “I get it. But I’m single now, and…”
“No,” Kurt could feel tears start to creep into his eyes, and dear God he’d cried enough for about a hundred people lately but this conversation needed to happen even if it was going to break him. “No, Finn. You’re not gay. You’re barely even not-straight. You can kiss me and jerk me off and hold me, but could you ever do that at school? Hold my hand in the hallway? Kiss me at the mall?”
Kurt could tell by Finn’s face, as it grew more horrified with every suggestion, that the answer was ‘no.’
They both knew it.
“Blaine can. And…what we have is...powerful, but…it’s best to stay like this for a while. I needed you from the beginning. I don’t think you ever needed me…”
“Of course I did!”
“Well,” Kurt wasn’t sure whether to believe that. Finn had done most of the comforting, all of the sexual initiating, and while Kurt believed he cared about him, he was sceptical as to the depth of those feelings. “Still, it’s…it’s for the best.”
Finn was quiet after that, sniffling now and again, and Kurt kept looking at him until Finn leaned in for a kiss that Kurt really shouldn’t have returned, but…
It was their first kiss with Finn as an unattached man.
This was just for them.
It turned heated quickly, as it always did for them, and by the time they were shirtless and gripping onto each other like lifelines Kurt knew it wasn’t going to be this easy.
They couldn’t just call everything off and expect it to end.
And until he had Blaine for certain, was it really so bad for he and Finn to keep doing what they were doing?
Probably, but with Finn’s lips against his jaw and his tongue trailing over the sensitive curve of his neck, he really couldn’t figure out why.
“Okay,” he finally gasped, Finn kissing down his chest.
“Okay what?”
“Okay, we’ll…whatever this is, let’s just…God, Finn,” he groaned and then stopped, freezing when he heard movement from the next room over and realized they weren’t in their basement anymore.
“What was…”
“Crap,” Kurt pulled Finn up and hugged him, whispering, “We can’t here. If they think I’m…I’ll be expelled. This weekend.”
“Will you actually be home this weekend?” Finn looked like he didn’t quite believe this but Kurt kissed him softly and nodded.
“I promise. But what about you?”
“What about me?” Finn shrugged.
“How are you getting to school tomorrow? It’s only Thursday,” Kurt pointed out and Finn laughed sheepishly.
“Sorry. I just…I really needed you. Man, I’ll probably be grounded for the next month,” he didn’t look particularly ashamed of this and Kurt had to admit that he was glad Finn had come.
Maybe he’d needed this, too.
“Probably,” Kurt conceded, stroking down Finn’s back. “But let’s get some sleep, okay?”
“Yeah. Cool,” Finn smiled, happier than Kurt had seen him all night, and he let the other boy wrap him up and kiss him softly before he closed his eyes, knowing that he’d sleep better tonight than he had since he’d come to Dalton in the first place.
Finn just…did that for him.
Previous Chapter
Notes:
1. Yes, the eternal ‘is Dalton a boarding school’ debate? From Kurt’s line about ‘I haven’t talked to Finn since the wedding’ to the fact that ‘BICO’ took place at night, I’m almost inclined to believe he *did* board at Dalton, at least for that semester, and maybe that changed after Christmas, but that’s what I’m going with for now :)
2. I hope you all enjoyed this, and let me know what you thought!!