Glee-Fic: Changes, Chapter Seven (Finn/Kurt)
Title: Changes
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: R overall
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Chapter: 7/?
Word Count: 2261
Spoilers: Up to and including 2x04
Summary: Finn's still trying to make up for what he said, but Kurt's colder to him than ever. And he'd do pretty much anything to change that.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)
Changes
Chapter Seven
“You can’t sing with him.”
“I wasn’t aware you made the rules that governed my life,” Kurt snapped, grabbing some napkins as he stalked across the cafeteria.
“Dude, if you sing with him, he’ll get so much flack he’ll quit the Club! We need him!” Finn protested and Kurt sighed and turned to him, hands on his hips.
“Who’s going to find out?”
“Well…”
“Exactly. Nobody in the Club will tell and it’s not like we’re performing these to the public. Plus,” he plucked a straw from the pile and set it on his tray, “Mercedes and Santana are performing together. Are they suddenly going to be ridiculed by the entire school?”
“It’s different…”
“I’m not going to sing a love song with him, Finn,” Kurt hissed. “And even if I did, would it matter? Maybe he’s not gay. I still think he’s sexually ambiguous enough that I have to give myself a chance. He’s the only guy in this town I might possibly have a shot with, so can you at least give me that?”
“What about…”
“You have a girlfriend,” Kurt lowered his voice even though he wanted to scream it to the entire school.
But he’d never do that to Finn.
“And you don’t love me. You can’t. You never will,” he got softer with each statement before shaking his head and continuing to walk. “So really, is it a crime? I just want to sing with him.”
“Kurt…”
“This conversation is over,” Kurt walked faster, squeezing himself in between Mercedes and Tina and making it more than clear that he didn’t want Finn at the table.
He couldn’t even look at the other boy in that moment.
000
“Kurt, I’m sorry…” Finn tried when Kurt finally got home, but all he received was a withering glance and Kurt stomping away to his…their…room, so he sat down on the armchair in the living room and ran his hands through his hair, wondering why he’d freaked out in the first place.
Kurt was right. Nobody outside of Glee would ever find out about the duet, and it didn’t have to be a romantic one. Plenty of guys sang songs together and it was totally un-gay, so why did he freak out like that?
It wasn’t because he wanted to sing with Kurt or anything, even though it would be kinda cool because he thinks that he and Kurt would sound really good together, and even though Rachel had just sort of assumed they would duet together because they were dating.
Which was kinda dumb, really, because it wasn’t like they hadn’t duetted (was that a word?) together, like, a bajillion times in the past.
So why couldn’t he sing with Kurt?
Oh. Right. Because Kurt hated his guts and wasn’t speaking to him, and he totally had every reason to do that.
…Still, just because Kurt wasn’t singing with him didn’t mean he was gonna sing with Sam, and Finn still didn’t like the idea for some reason.
He wasn’t jealous or anything.
Nah.
Of course not.
…He needed to talk to Kurt.
000
“Kurt…”
“Go. Away,” Kurt threw a pillow at the staircase and buried his face in the remaining one on his bed, not wanting Finn to see he’d been crying.
He’d cried an awful lot lately.
“Kurt, I just want to tell you…”
“I can’t sing with Sam. I know. I can’t sing with a guy, because it’s wrong,” he snapped, glaring at Finn, and Finn literally flinched back.
“Dude, that’s not what I meant! You can sing with me…”
“Oh, so I can only sing with people who meet your approval, is that it? So you can stand at the front of the class and proudly proclaim ‘No Homo’ before we start to sing? No thank you, Finn. Besides, I’ve already decided to take your advice: I’m breaking it off with Sam,” he sighed. “You’re right. It could get out, and then he would quit Glee, and God forbid I’m the one who negates our chances of winning Sectionals,” he nearly yelled, realizing he was probably being overly harsh but he was sick of people telling him he couldn’t do things with other boys because he was gay.
“Dude, you don’t have to…”
“I’m going to. He was probably just agreeing to be nice,” Kurt shrugged and buried his face back in the pillow and Finn sat down on the bed, the mattress creaking under him.
“That’s not true. When I talked to him…he thought you were awesome. He’s a really nice guy…”
“Which is why I can’t jeopardize his position within the school hierarchy, I understand,” Kurt sighed heavily, not really wanting to continue this conversation. “Can you leave, please?”
“But…”
“Finn. Please?” he didn’t want to beg but with how emotionally raw he was at the moment he was afraid he might start.
“Okay,” Finn finally replied and Kurt heard him get up and head up the stairs, closing the door behind him on the way out.
Which was when Kurt started to sob.
000
Finn pretended that Kurt wasn’t feeling well at dinner and that he’d try to get him to eat something later, even though he was pretty sure Kurt wasn’t about to eat anytime soon and he felt horrible about it.
He should really think before he spoke sometimes.
Okay, most of the time, but still…
Kurt still hadn’t come back up when it was time for bed, and he wouldn’t answer the door when Finn’s mom knocked, so she told him to say goodnight for them because Burt still couldn’t manage stairs and Finn promised that he would.
He crept down the stairs to find Kurt still curled up in bed, adorably rumpled in his pyjamas and sound asleep, and Finn really didn’t know how Kurt’s going to take it but once he was changed and ready for bed he crawled in behind him, knowing the smaller boy was going to need the comfort.
“Finn?”
“Go to sleep, dude,” Finn let his hand slide under Kurt’s pyjama top, resting warm on his stomach. “Mom and Burt say goodnight.”
“Are they in bed?” Kurt asked softly, letting his hand rest on Finn’s through his shirt.
“Should be by now. Are you hungry? There’s leftovers…”
“No, I’m fine,” Kurt shook his head and pressed back against Finn. “I’m still breaking it off with Sam.”
“You don’t…”
“I know. But I’ve got an idea on how to do a duet with myself and, let’s face it, that’s much more my style,” he sounded a little happier but Finn knew he was still hurting, and he kissed the back of the smaller boy’s neck.
“I’m sure whatever you do is gonna be awesome. Because you’re always awesome,” Finn added and Kurt laughed quietly and squeezed his hand.
“Thank you for the vote of confidence. I’m just…” he sighed, sounding a little broken up, and Finn nudged him gently.
“Just what?”
“I’m just…lonely, Finn. I’m so lonely,” he sniffed. “And that sounds horribly childish and immature, but there’s nobody like me. I can’t ever realize my dream of dancing with my boyfriend at prom: not because it’s wrong, but because I’ll never have a boyfriend for prom.”
“Shh,” Finn said gently. “You will. You’ll find somebody, Kurt. I know you will.”
“Someday. When I move to New York,” Kurt sounded equal parts bitter and thrilled, and Finn hugged him tighter and stroked his stomach, nuzzling him softly.
“You’ll find him before that, Kurt. Trust me.”
“I do. I don’t know why sometimes, but I do,” Kurt was smiling, Finn could tell, and he kept hugging him tightly.
“I’m sorry about this morning. I had no right to say those things.”
“Drop it, Finn. Please. We’re past that…as is evidenced by me letting you cuddle me in bed,” Kurt said dryly and Finn nodded.
“You needed it,” he mentioned quietly, and Kurt sighed in response.
“I did. I truly did.”
“And you know I don’t mind,” Finn had to add, even though he was pretty sure Kurt knew it.
“Again, I don’t know why you don’t, but I’m glad. Sometimes I just…”
“Yeah. Me, too,” Finn gently rolled him over and stroked his hair back, noting that even though he’d probably been sleeping all afternoon he looked exhausted, and he kissed Kurt’s forehead and laid him down. “Sleep, Kurt. You need it.”
“I probably do,” Kurt leaned up to kiss him ever-so-chastely on the lips before tucking his head under Finn’s chin. “And tomorrow I have to practice for my big performance.”
“Yeah,” Finn still felt guilty but, at this point, it was obvious there was nothing Kurt would let him do to fix that. He’d just have to think before he spoke next time.
He gathered Kurt into his arms as the other boy smiled against his neck, and fell asleep as quickly as he always did with Kurt there.
000
Kurt was amazing.
Not that he would have expected anything else, but he truly pulled out all the stops and Finn sat in the audience with a giant grin on his face during the entire thing. He slipped into the bathroom after Kurt when he went in to change, seeing him scrubbing the gel out of his hair and taking the makeup off.
“You rocked, dude.”
“I appreciate that,” Kurt turned to him and smiled softly, looking more than a little discouraged. “It was fun, although it would have been more fun to do it with somebody else.”
“I know,” Finn said, still feeling guilty about it all, but Kurt shook his head and placed his hand on Finn’s arm, giving him a smile.
“Don’t. But I’m sure you and Rachel will be equally as awe-inspiring,” he kept scrubbing at his face, the long fringe on his costume nearly
falling into the sink as he leant over.
“Um, actually we…kinda won’t.”
“Come again?”
“Rachel. She decided that…that we’d win if we tried, so we’re going to throw it so Sam and Quinn win,” he shuffled his feet and Kurt looked at him appraisingly. “So Sam will want to stay,” he added.
“Well, I’ll be. Miss Rachel Berry, doing something to help somebody else. Color me amazed,” Kurt said dryly. “So, what horrible song are you performing?”
“I dunno. Something called ‘With You I’m Born Again,’ I think. She wants us to dress up like a priest and a nun or something…”
“Quinn and Mercedes are going to kill you,” Kurt snorted, an actual grin on his face and Finn suddenly felt much better. “Seriously. Kill.”
“And Rachel wants us to be all, like, staring up at the ceiling and stuff…”
“Murder. They will murder you,” Kurt was nearly bent in half laughing and Finn grabbed him around the waist, pulling him in as he kept laughing and clung to Finn’s shoulders. “This is all just so Sam can win?”
“Yeah. Kinda awesome, hey?”
“She’s not as bad as she was, I’ll give her that,” Kurt conceded, his arms around Finn’s neck as he stared up at him. “But I think it’s wonderful. Really.”
“You can’t tell anybody, though,” Finn warned and Kurt rolled his eyes and patted Finn’s chest.
“Trust me, they won’t hear it from me. I’ll look suitably appalled.”
“Cool,” Finn nodded and looked down, biting his lip before asking, “So…d’you think you could help me with my outfit?”
“I’d like nothing more.”
000
Kurt closed his locker, straightening his silver jacket and smiling to himself. He and Rachel, when they worked together, really did make an excellent team, and their voices complimented each other perfectly.
Finn was staring at them with a rather goofy smile the entire time but he wasn’t going to delude himself into thinking it was for him: no, it was obviously for Rachel.
His girlfriend, his mind-voice reminded him. His girlfriend who you’re striking up a friendship with while her boyfriend occasionally jerks you off.
And yes, he felt guilty. A little. After the fact.
But his feelings toward Finn hadn’t changed and no matter what the status of his friendship was whatever he could get from Finn meant that it was definitely in jeopardy, and he shuddered involuntarily at what Rachel’s reaction would be when this came out.
Because it had to.
Sometime.
And it was going to be ugly, because…
He stopped, gasping, as red slush ran down his silver suit and probably ruined it beyond repair.
Well, great.
“Ouch. Looks like they got you bad.”
Kurt looked up to see Sam, looking rather apologetic, and sighed. “I should have known better than to wear this outside of the Glee room. It was inevitable.”
“It sucks, man. I mean, I got hit with one of those this week, and it sucks. Um, you need any help cleaning up? I know I kinda bailed on you…”
“You didn’t bail on me, Sam,” Kurt blinked some of the sticky fluid out of his eyes and sighed. “I was the one who called it off, if you’ll remember.”
“I’m just…I’m sorry,” Sam reached to lay a hand on one part of his arm that wasn’t covered in red and smiled. “And I promise, if we ever do a duet competition again, I’ll totally be your partner.”
“Thank you. You’re very kind,” Kurt smiled despite himself and moved to walk out.
“Hey, can I at least walk you to the parking lot? Just in case, y’know?” he fell into step with Kurt and Kurt wasn’t about to tell him ‘no.’
In fact, he was quite happy to accept.
Previous Chapter
Next Chapter
Notes:
1. There is no excuse for how late this is, other than that Kinnja Monday distracted me with prompts when I should have been working on this…
2. However, with school starting up again next week, updates may continue to be slow-er than I’d like. I’ll try to do my best, though :D
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: R overall
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Chapter: 7/?
Word Count: 2261
Spoilers: Up to and including 2x04
Summary: Finn's still trying to make up for what he said, but Kurt's colder to him than ever. And he'd do pretty much anything to change that.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)
Changes
Chapter Seven
“You can’t sing with him.”
“I wasn’t aware you made the rules that governed my life,” Kurt snapped, grabbing some napkins as he stalked across the cafeteria.
“Dude, if you sing with him, he’ll get so much flack he’ll quit the Club! We need him!” Finn protested and Kurt sighed and turned to him, hands on his hips.
“Who’s going to find out?”
“Well…”
“Exactly. Nobody in the Club will tell and it’s not like we’re performing these to the public. Plus,” he plucked a straw from the pile and set it on his tray, “Mercedes and Santana are performing together. Are they suddenly going to be ridiculed by the entire school?”
“It’s different…”
“I’m not going to sing a love song with him, Finn,” Kurt hissed. “And even if I did, would it matter? Maybe he’s not gay. I still think he’s sexually ambiguous enough that I have to give myself a chance. He’s the only guy in this town I might possibly have a shot with, so can you at least give me that?”
“What about…”
“You have a girlfriend,” Kurt lowered his voice even though he wanted to scream it to the entire school.
But he’d never do that to Finn.
“And you don’t love me. You can’t. You never will,” he got softer with each statement before shaking his head and continuing to walk. “So really, is it a crime? I just want to sing with him.”
“Kurt…”
“This conversation is over,” Kurt walked faster, squeezing himself in between Mercedes and Tina and making it more than clear that he didn’t want Finn at the table.
He couldn’t even look at the other boy in that moment.
000
“Kurt, I’m sorry…” Finn tried when Kurt finally got home, but all he received was a withering glance and Kurt stomping away to his…their…room, so he sat down on the armchair in the living room and ran his hands through his hair, wondering why he’d freaked out in the first place.
Kurt was right. Nobody outside of Glee would ever find out about the duet, and it didn’t have to be a romantic one. Plenty of guys sang songs together and it was totally un-gay, so why did he freak out like that?
It wasn’t because he wanted to sing with Kurt or anything, even though it would be kinda cool because he thinks that he and Kurt would sound really good together, and even though Rachel had just sort of assumed they would duet together because they were dating.
Which was kinda dumb, really, because it wasn’t like they hadn’t duetted (was that a word?) together, like, a bajillion times in the past.
So why couldn’t he sing with Kurt?
Oh. Right. Because Kurt hated his guts and wasn’t speaking to him, and he totally had every reason to do that.
…Still, just because Kurt wasn’t singing with him didn’t mean he was gonna sing with Sam, and Finn still didn’t like the idea for some reason.
He wasn’t jealous or anything.
Nah.
Of course not.
…He needed to talk to Kurt.
000
“Kurt…”
“Go. Away,” Kurt threw a pillow at the staircase and buried his face in the remaining one on his bed, not wanting Finn to see he’d been crying.
He’d cried an awful lot lately.
“Kurt, I just want to tell you…”
“I can’t sing with Sam. I know. I can’t sing with a guy, because it’s wrong,” he snapped, glaring at Finn, and Finn literally flinched back.
“Dude, that’s not what I meant! You can sing with me…”
“Oh, so I can only sing with people who meet your approval, is that it? So you can stand at the front of the class and proudly proclaim ‘No Homo’ before we start to sing? No thank you, Finn. Besides, I’ve already decided to take your advice: I’m breaking it off with Sam,” he sighed. “You’re right. It could get out, and then he would quit Glee, and God forbid I’m the one who negates our chances of winning Sectionals,” he nearly yelled, realizing he was probably being overly harsh but he was sick of people telling him he couldn’t do things with other boys because he was gay.
“Dude, you don’t have to…”
“I’m going to. He was probably just agreeing to be nice,” Kurt shrugged and buried his face back in the pillow and Finn sat down on the bed, the mattress creaking under him.
“That’s not true. When I talked to him…he thought you were awesome. He’s a really nice guy…”
“Which is why I can’t jeopardize his position within the school hierarchy, I understand,” Kurt sighed heavily, not really wanting to continue this conversation. “Can you leave, please?”
“But…”
“Finn. Please?” he didn’t want to beg but with how emotionally raw he was at the moment he was afraid he might start.
“Okay,” Finn finally replied and Kurt heard him get up and head up the stairs, closing the door behind him on the way out.
Which was when Kurt started to sob.
000
Finn pretended that Kurt wasn’t feeling well at dinner and that he’d try to get him to eat something later, even though he was pretty sure Kurt wasn’t about to eat anytime soon and he felt horrible about it.
He should really think before he spoke sometimes.
Okay, most of the time, but still…
Kurt still hadn’t come back up when it was time for bed, and he wouldn’t answer the door when Finn’s mom knocked, so she told him to say goodnight for them because Burt still couldn’t manage stairs and Finn promised that he would.
He crept down the stairs to find Kurt still curled up in bed, adorably rumpled in his pyjamas and sound asleep, and Finn really didn’t know how Kurt’s going to take it but once he was changed and ready for bed he crawled in behind him, knowing the smaller boy was going to need the comfort.
“Finn?”
“Go to sleep, dude,” Finn let his hand slide under Kurt’s pyjama top, resting warm on his stomach. “Mom and Burt say goodnight.”
“Are they in bed?” Kurt asked softly, letting his hand rest on Finn’s through his shirt.
“Should be by now. Are you hungry? There’s leftovers…”
“No, I’m fine,” Kurt shook his head and pressed back against Finn. “I’m still breaking it off with Sam.”
“You don’t…”
“I know. But I’ve got an idea on how to do a duet with myself and, let’s face it, that’s much more my style,” he sounded a little happier but Finn knew he was still hurting, and he kissed the back of the smaller boy’s neck.
“I’m sure whatever you do is gonna be awesome. Because you’re always awesome,” Finn added and Kurt laughed quietly and squeezed his hand.
“Thank you for the vote of confidence. I’m just…” he sighed, sounding a little broken up, and Finn nudged him gently.
“Just what?”
“I’m just…lonely, Finn. I’m so lonely,” he sniffed. “And that sounds horribly childish and immature, but there’s nobody like me. I can’t ever realize my dream of dancing with my boyfriend at prom: not because it’s wrong, but because I’ll never have a boyfriend for prom.”
“Shh,” Finn said gently. “You will. You’ll find somebody, Kurt. I know you will.”
“Someday. When I move to New York,” Kurt sounded equal parts bitter and thrilled, and Finn hugged him tighter and stroked his stomach, nuzzling him softly.
“You’ll find him before that, Kurt. Trust me.”
“I do. I don’t know why sometimes, but I do,” Kurt was smiling, Finn could tell, and he kept hugging him tightly.
“I’m sorry about this morning. I had no right to say those things.”
“Drop it, Finn. Please. We’re past that…as is evidenced by me letting you cuddle me in bed,” Kurt said dryly and Finn nodded.
“You needed it,” he mentioned quietly, and Kurt sighed in response.
“I did. I truly did.”
“And you know I don’t mind,” Finn had to add, even though he was pretty sure Kurt knew it.
“Again, I don’t know why you don’t, but I’m glad. Sometimes I just…”
“Yeah. Me, too,” Finn gently rolled him over and stroked his hair back, noting that even though he’d probably been sleeping all afternoon he looked exhausted, and he kissed Kurt’s forehead and laid him down. “Sleep, Kurt. You need it.”
“I probably do,” Kurt leaned up to kiss him ever-so-chastely on the lips before tucking his head under Finn’s chin. “And tomorrow I have to practice for my big performance.”
“Yeah,” Finn still felt guilty but, at this point, it was obvious there was nothing Kurt would let him do to fix that. He’d just have to think before he spoke next time.
He gathered Kurt into his arms as the other boy smiled against his neck, and fell asleep as quickly as he always did with Kurt there.
000
Kurt was amazing.
Not that he would have expected anything else, but he truly pulled out all the stops and Finn sat in the audience with a giant grin on his face during the entire thing. He slipped into the bathroom after Kurt when he went in to change, seeing him scrubbing the gel out of his hair and taking the makeup off.
“You rocked, dude.”
“I appreciate that,” Kurt turned to him and smiled softly, looking more than a little discouraged. “It was fun, although it would have been more fun to do it with somebody else.”
“I know,” Finn said, still feeling guilty about it all, but Kurt shook his head and placed his hand on Finn’s arm, giving him a smile.
“Don’t. But I’m sure you and Rachel will be equally as awe-inspiring,” he kept scrubbing at his face, the long fringe on his costume nearly
falling into the sink as he leant over.
“Um, actually we…kinda won’t.”
“Come again?”
“Rachel. She decided that…that we’d win if we tried, so we’re going to throw it so Sam and Quinn win,” he shuffled his feet and Kurt looked at him appraisingly. “So Sam will want to stay,” he added.
“Well, I’ll be. Miss Rachel Berry, doing something to help somebody else. Color me amazed,” Kurt said dryly. “So, what horrible song are you performing?”
“I dunno. Something called ‘With You I’m Born Again,’ I think. She wants us to dress up like a priest and a nun or something…”
“Quinn and Mercedes are going to kill you,” Kurt snorted, an actual grin on his face and Finn suddenly felt much better. “Seriously. Kill.”
“And Rachel wants us to be all, like, staring up at the ceiling and stuff…”
“Murder. They will murder you,” Kurt was nearly bent in half laughing and Finn grabbed him around the waist, pulling him in as he kept laughing and clung to Finn’s shoulders. “This is all just so Sam can win?”
“Yeah. Kinda awesome, hey?”
“She’s not as bad as she was, I’ll give her that,” Kurt conceded, his arms around Finn’s neck as he stared up at him. “But I think it’s wonderful. Really.”
“You can’t tell anybody, though,” Finn warned and Kurt rolled his eyes and patted Finn’s chest.
“Trust me, they won’t hear it from me. I’ll look suitably appalled.”
“Cool,” Finn nodded and looked down, biting his lip before asking, “So…d’you think you could help me with my outfit?”
“I’d like nothing more.”
000
Kurt closed his locker, straightening his silver jacket and smiling to himself. He and Rachel, when they worked together, really did make an excellent team, and their voices complimented each other perfectly.
Finn was staring at them with a rather goofy smile the entire time but he wasn’t going to delude himself into thinking it was for him: no, it was obviously for Rachel.
His girlfriend, his mind-voice reminded him. His girlfriend who you’re striking up a friendship with while her boyfriend occasionally jerks you off.
And yes, he felt guilty. A little. After the fact.
But his feelings toward Finn hadn’t changed and no matter what the status of his friendship was whatever he could get from Finn meant that it was definitely in jeopardy, and he shuddered involuntarily at what Rachel’s reaction would be when this came out.
Because it had to.
Sometime.
And it was going to be ugly, because…
He stopped, gasping, as red slush ran down his silver suit and probably ruined it beyond repair.
Well, great.
“Ouch. Looks like they got you bad.”
Kurt looked up to see Sam, looking rather apologetic, and sighed. “I should have known better than to wear this outside of the Glee room. It was inevitable.”
“It sucks, man. I mean, I got hit with one of those this week, and it sucks. Um, you need any help cleaning up? I know I kinda bailed on you…”
“You didn’t bail on me, Sam,” Kurt blinked some of the sticky fluid out of his eyes and sighed. “I was the one who called it off, if you’ll remember.”
“I’m just…I’m sorry,” Sam reached to lay a hand on one part of his arm that wasn’t covered in red and smiled. “And I promise, if we ever do a duet competition again, I’ll totally be your partner.”
“Thank you. You’re very kind,” Kurt smiled despite himself and moved to walk out.
“Hey, can I at least walk you to the parking lot? Just in case, y’know?” he fell into step with Kurt and Kurt wasn’t about to tell him ‘no.’
In fact, he was quite happy to accept.
Previous Chapter
Next Chapter
Notes:
1. There is no excuse for how late this is, other than that Kinnja Monday distracted me with prompts when I should have been working on this…
2. However, with school starting up again next week, updates may continue to be slow-er than I’d like. I’ll try to do my best, though :D