Glee-Fic: Caligo Nox Noctis, Chapter Twenty-Nine (Finn/Kurt)
Title: Caligo Nox Noctis
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: R overall
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt overall; some minor Blaine/Kurt
Chapter: 29/?
Word Count: 2990
Spoilers: Let’s say everything to be safe :)
Summary/Warnings: (Vampire!Kurt, so completely AU) The good news about all of this is that there’s a cure. The bad news, of course, is what the cure actually is.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I’m done with them. :)
Caligo Nox Noctis
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The first time he wakes up it’s mid-afternoon, judging by where the sun is, and the only reason he does so is because his father is tromping down the stairs and even without the added benefit of heightened vampire senses his father does not walk quietly.
“Hey, kiddo,” he whispers, laying a hand on Kurt’s head as Kurt looks up at him. “You doin’ okay?”
“I’m fine, Dad,” Kurt replies, snuggling farther into Finn’s embrace without really thinking about it.
“Those two boys didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” his father notes and Kurt nods in agreement.
“Probably not. I tell them not to worry, but you know Finn…”
“Yeah. Good kid. Not the brightest bulb in the box, but good kid,” his dad smiles down at Finn as the taller boy snuffles in his sleep.
“Dad?” Kurt asks quietly.
“Yeah, Kurt?”
“How do you really feel? About Finn and I, I mean,” he’s a little afraid to ask this so bluntly but he needs to know. His dad seems okay with it, but really, it is a little weird no matter how you look at it.
“Honestly? It was kinda strange at first,” his dad admits, patting Kurt’s head gently again. “But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. You’ve loved him for a long time even if you tried to hide it around us, and Finn…he’s always looked at you different, y’know? Like he really cares about you even if he’d never say it, but ever since this whole vampire thing started…when he looks at you now? That’s the way I used to look at…at your mom.”
“Really?” Kurt tries to keep his voice down because honestly, that’s a bit of a surprise. His mom may have died when he was really young but even he remembers how utterly in love his parents were even after seven or eight years of marriage.
“Yeah. And you only ever look at one person that way in your whole life,” his dad sighs, looking a little melancholy. “I mean, I love Carole; you know I do; but it’s not high school romance love anymore. We both know we can depend on each other and we’ve both been through losing our first loves, so it’s always going to be different. It doesn’t make it any less important, but we’re both older and wiser than we were and that changes how you see things.”
“…Oh,” Kurt’s already figured this out, because he knows in his heart that nobody will ever make him feel the way Finn does, but it’s strange hearing his father say it.
“I mean, you’ve liked other boys since Finn, right?”
“Yes,” Kurt’s hand finds Blaine’s under the covers and he wraps his fingers around it as Blaine sighs against his neck.
“But has it felt the same?”
“No,” Kurt shakes his head. “You’re right. It’s still…it’s still love, but it isn’t as instantly passionate,” he decides after a moment. “But you…you really think he likes me like that?”
“Lemme put it this way: he’s never looked at Rachel or Quinn the way he looks at you. I could see it that night at the wedding; you wouldn’t have even known Rachel was his girlfriend at the time, because even when he was dancing with her he was looking at you,” his dad admits and Kurt tries to hide a rather smug grin at the words.
He loves Rachel, really, but after her speech about Kurt always coming last because he’s not a girl it’s kind of nice to beat her out on this one.
“And I’m happy for you kids. I think you’re gonna work out just fine,” he finishes, patting Kurt’s shoulder this time before moving away. “Get some more sleep, Kurt. I’ll come back down and call you for supper or something, okay?”
“Yeah. Love you, Dad,” he adds, sounding rather young to his own ears, but his father just gives him a tight-lipped smile and nods as he gets to the stairs.
“Love you too, Kurt.”
Kurt listens to him pound his way up the stairs, just as loud as he had come down, and turns to stare at Finn, trailing fingers over his eyelids and down his cheek. He’s not sure if Finn really looks at him like that, but it’s a nice thought nonetheless.
000
Blaine decides that Thursday that he’s not waiting anymore to get back to school and if the doctors are telling him one more week or so, the least he can do is sit in on Glee Club just to get out of the house. Kurt knows better than to protest at this point so he doesn’t say anything about it, and Thursday after school the two of them are heading for Glee while Blaine stares around the halls of McKinley interestedly.
“What?”
“It’s…a school. Like you see on television,” Blaine decides after a moment.
“Yes, well, not every place can be historic and covered in wood,” Kurt snorts and holds open the door for Blaine to pass through.
“Anyway, how’d you convince your principal to let me go here for the last two months of the year? It’s kind of an awkward time to switch, especially since I’m a brand new student,” Blaine adds, nodding his thanks as they pass through the door and into another hall.
“Well, as we discovered last year, my principal has a rather debilitating fear of vampires. He already thinks Tina’s one thanks to what she pulled last year to get him off her case about her gothic clothing, so with two of us it was remarkably easy to convince him,” Kurt grins, fangs visible in the light, and Blaine has to laugh at that one.
“Wow, you’re all pieces of work at this place, aren’t you?” he says fondly as Kurt nudges his shoulder gently.
“We try. Now, come on; it’s just in here,” he pushes open the door to the choir room and Mr. Schuester stops whatever he’s saying to turn and look. “Oh, good, you’re here. Everybody, I’d like you to meet the newest member of the Glee Club…”
“Hey, Blaine,” Sam waves and pats the chair beside him as Blaine gives him a smile and goes to sit.
“It’s so good to see you. Personally I’m overjoyed that now we have another male who can keep up with me vocally…”
Kurt clears his throat and glares at Rachel, who quickly amends her sentence.
“Who can keep up with me vocally and isn’t capable of singing in the same range. Regardless, it’s wonderful to have you, Blaine,” she hugs him carefully as he pats her on the back.
“Thanks, Rachel, but I promise that I’m not coming in here to steal solos or take away anyone’s thunder. The Warblers as a whole somehow decided that I was the only one capable of singing lead so I was given every opportunity, but with a group as diverse and talented as yours having the same people on lead all the time would just be unfair to everybody else,” he says, clasping his hands before going to sit beside Sam who puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles at him.
“Anyway,” Mr. Schuester waves his arms and they all turn back to him. “Normally one would have to audition to join the club but…”
“We all know Frodo over here can sing,” Santana puts in with a coy smirk. “Better than most.”
“Do you all know Blaine?” Mr. Schuester finally asks, looking a little disappointed that his normal ‘welcome-to-Glee-Club’ speech has been mostly nullified, and as they all nod he finally sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Okay, then. Well, welcome to the Club, Blaine.”
“Thank you,” Blaine intones as everybody laughs.
“Now, Blaine hasn’t officially started attending school here at McKinley…”
“Speaking of, when do you get the all-clear to come back?” Tina speaks up, looking over at Blaine. “I know you’re enrolled; Kurt and I made sure of that,” she shares a smirk with Kurt on that one. “But is it okay for you to come back yet?”
“Like I’ve told Kurt, most of what I’ve been doing for the last little while has been precaution only. The doctors think I’ll be good to go next week so long as I don’t over-exert myself, which I guess means that I have to hold off on the dancing for a while,” he notes, leaning back in his chair. “I’m here in spirit, though.”
“And he’s got a better sense of rhythm than Finn,” Kurt points out as Finn squawks in protest. “It’s true, sweetie.”
“Definitely. My cat dances better,” Brittany announces, tossing her hair over her shoulder and blinking.
“This time, Britt, I wouldn’t doubt it,” Santana agrees, patting Brittany’s leg as the blonde smiles vacantly at her.
“Enough about my dancing, okay?” Finn mutters. “I’ve gotten, like, way better.”
“Considering you didn’t kill me at the wedding? Yes, you have,” Kurt’s forced to admit.
“Thank you.”
“That was, like, barely a compliment, Frankenteen,” Santana leans over to muss Finn’s hair and Finn swats her hand away irritably.
“It was a compliment, though,” Finn sulks, pouting with his arms crossed, and Kurt lays a hand on his elbow while stealing a glance at Blaine. If the other boy had thought they were crazy before? He probably would want them all committed after spending a day in their Glee Club.
“Anyway, guys, weekly assignment?” Mr. Schuester tries, and most of the Club turns to look at him. “I’d also like to note that with the inclusion of Blaine we have an equal boy-girl ratio once more which will make choreography a whole lot easier, so you’re really helping us out,” he directs this to Blaine, who just smiles and nods. “And if you’re overwhelmed, I’m sorry to say that it doesn’t really get any better. We’re good at buckling down when it comes close to competition time, but we usually end up winging things more often than not.”
“I’ve been warned,” Blaine says with a glance at Kurt. “And I’ve spent enough time around everybody, but I have to say that I’ve never been in a Club setting that’s so…informal.”
“Yes, the Warblers are rather fond of such concepts as raising your hand when you wish to speak,” Kurt mutters dryly.
“In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with…”
“And gavels,” Blaine adds. “I think Wes is married to his.”
“Oh, God, his gavel,” Kurt chuckles.
“As I was saying, there’s nothing…”
“Okay, guys!” Mr. Schuester claps his hands and cuts off Rachel’s protests. “Now, while we may run things a little differently than at Dalton, Rachel’s right in suggesting that maybe a bit more mutual respect for each other’s ideas can help us improve our communication with each other.”
“Mr. Schuester?” Rachel raises her hand high.
“Yes, Rachel?”
“While that’s a very nice recommendation, I have to point out that you interrupted me to make it,” she lowers her hand and primly straightens her skirt as Mr. Schuester looks vaguely embarrassed.
“It isn’t usually this bad. I think he’s nervous because he knows how amazing you are,” Kurt mutters to Blaine, who waves him off with a laugh.
“Anyway, weekly lesson,” Mr. Schuester turns to the board and starts scribbling something as Kurt leans back in his chair, crossing his legs and keeping one hand on Finn’s arm.
They may all be ten kinds of crazy, but there isn’t another Glee Club anywhere that he’d rather be. And he thinks that, despite how incredulous he might be at the moment, Blaine will come to love it just as much.
000
“So, we haven’t done this in a while,” Finn says later that night as they’re lying in bed, Kurt comfortably positioned on his chest.
“Had a late-night conversation?” he questions, one finger tracing down Finn’s breastbone as Finn sighs and presses into the feather-light touch.
“Yeah. That,” Finn’s hand is warm and solid on his back and Kurt knows that he has to turn this exchange heavy although he really doesn’t want to.
“Finn?”
“Yeah, dude?”
“I need to tell you something,” Kurt’s not going to look at Finn when he says this because no doubt it would only end in a sobbing fest again, so he closes his eyes, curls his fingers around Finn’s shoulder, and gets on with it. “This time next month I have to be human again.”
“Um. Okay?”
“The last moon, Finn,” Kurt says brusquely. “Do you think I enjoyed being tied to the bed with a $400 scarf? Well, granted, under the right circumstances I’ve no doubt it would be quite pleasurable, but…I spent the entire night fighting a battle in my mind, Finn; that’s why I slept for about a day afterward. I can’t…I can’t do that again. It would break me,” he says, enunciating every word fully as Finn’s whole body stiffens. “I’d still be alive, but I’d lose my mind, and I can’t…I don’t want to force you to fall in love with me, but…”
“I’ll do it. I’m not…I’m not letting you lose your mind, Kurt,” Finn’s arms tighten around him and Kurt digs his fingers into Finn’s shoulder, needing the reassurance. “I’ll fall in love with you. I’m…pretty sure I’m almost there already. I know I love you, but…”
“It’s the in love part that’s the kicker,” Kurt finishes that sentence for him. “Do you think…have you ever actually been in love?” he asks carefully, not sure how Finn is going to take this.
“Yeah,” Finn says after a moment, and Kurt’s actually a little surprised because he wouldn’t have expected this. “I mean, I loved Quinn…I think…she was great, but really demanding and kinda mean to me a lot of the time. And I told Santana that I was in love with Rachel, but now I’m not so sure,” he admits, keeping his hand on Kurt’s lower back as his free hand comes up to stroke the shorter boy’s hair out of his eyes. “But yeah, I was definitely in love…maybe I still am, even though…”
And Kurt doesn’t think he’s going to get any more out of Finn, so he thinks about this for a while. He knows that Finn tells him pretty much everything…he’s done that since Kurt was willing to listen about the baby.
Wait.
“Quinn’s baby,” he says, his voice low, and Finn nods.
“I know she…I know she’s not mine, but if Quinn had kept her I’d have loved her like she was. And I’ve never felt anything for anybody as much as I felt for that little baby girl…except you, Kurt. You’re the closest I’ve ever come, and that’s why…that’s why I know I can fall in love with you, because if I can feel that much even after I find out I’m not her father, why can’t I do it for somebody that’s been there for me through everything and that I hold in my arms every night?” he finishes quietly, sounding a little choked, and Kurt honestly had no idea that Finn felt that much for him.
“Finn…”
“It’s cool, man. I don’t want this to turn into us both crying again, so just leave it, okay? We’ve got a month; I’ll figure something out,” Finn decides, hugging Kurt closer.
“Okay. I trust you,” he nuzzles against Finn’s neck and presses a kiss to the warm skin, feeling Finn’s pulse thrum under his lips.
“Good. Is that it for tonight?”
“I think so,” Kurt admits, reaching over to set the alarm and being rather grateful that the next day is Friday. He’s still exhausted from the moon but he only needs to get through one more day of school and, thankfully, no Glee practice before he can sack out for, if he has it his way, the entire weekend.
“That’s great, dude, because I’m beat,” Finn curls his arm around Kurt’s shoulders and pulls him up a little higher. “G’night, man.”
“ ‘Night,” Kurt replies, closing his eyes and letting Finn’s even breaths lull him to sleep.
000
He wakes up, as usual, about twenty minutes before the alarm’s due to go off and wonders if he can close his eyes and just go back to sleep again because he needs every second he can get right now.
However, it never seems to work out the way he wants, and he’s wide awake and restless as Finn continues to snore quietly under him.
“Hey.”
“Wha’?” Finn asks sleepily, snorting a little, and Kurt laughs and kisses his bare shoulder as the other teen sighs happily and opens his eyes. “What times’it?” he mutters.
“Twenty minutes before we have to wake up,” Kurt informs him, sounding far too awake even to his own ears.
“Why’d you wake me up, dude?” Finn asks, voice sleep-hoarse and eyes half-lidded and looking absolutely…well…the word ‘adorable’ comes to mind as much as that doesn’t seem to fit somebody Finn’s size.
“I didn’t want to be awake alone and I don’t think I can fall back asleep,” Kurt whispers and Finn just clamps an arm around his waist and drags him back down.
“Well, I want those extra twenty minutes. G’night.”
“You’re a lot of fun,” Kurt sniffs and Finn moves to pull Kurt’s head down onto his shoulder, holding him there. “I’m not a stuffed animal, Finn.”
“No, you’re too noisy. Go back t’sleep,” Finn murmurs into his hair, and Kurt decides that he’s fighting a losing battle and lets himself relax.
Finn starts stroking his back, fingers light on his skin, and somehow that makes it easier to fall asleep again.
And while part of him wishes he could find a way to store this moment and be able to relive it forever another, bigger part of him knows (hopes?) that they’ll have many more mornings like this in the future.
As long as they can get through this.
Links:
Previous Chapter
Next Chapter
All Chapters
Notes:
1. I thought I’d make this fluffy to make up for the utter angsti-ness of last chapter, but they’re definitely not out of the woods yet.
2. This morning we woke up to a lovely 15 cm of fresh snow. Yay. This is officially the Longest Winter Ever.
3. That’s it ^_^
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: R overall
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt overall; some minor Blaine/Kurt
Chapter: 29/?
Word Count: 2990
Spoilers: Let’s say everything to be safe :)
Summary/Warnings: (Vampire!Kurt, so completely AU) The good news about all of this is that there’s a cure. The bad news, of course, is what the cure actually is.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I’m done with them. :)
Caligo Nox Noctis
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The first time he wakes up it’s mid-afternoon, judging by where the sun is, and the only reason he does so is because his father is tromping down the stairs and even without the added benefit of heightened vampire senses his father does not walk quietly.
“Hey, kiddo,” he whispers, laying a hand on Kurt’s head as Kurt looks up at him. “You doin’ okay?”
“I’m fine, Dad,” Kurt replies, snuggling farther into Finn’s embrace without really thinking about it.
“Those two boys didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” his father notes and Kurt nods in agreement.
“Probably not. I tell them not to worry, but you know Finn…”
“Yeah. Good kid. Not the brightest bulb in the box, but good kid,” his dad smiles down at Finn as the taller boy snuffles in his sleep.
“Dad?” Kurt asks quietly.
“Yeah, Kurt?”
“How do you really feel? About Finn and I, I mean,” he’s a little afraid to ask this so bluntly but he needs to know. His dad seems okay with it, but really, it is a little weird no matter how you look at it.
“Honestly? It was kinda strange at first,” his dad admits, patting Kurt’s head gently again. “But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. You’ve loved him for a long time even if you tried to hide it around us, and Finn…he’s always looked at you different, y’know? Like he really cares about you even if he’d never say it, but ever since this whole vampire thing started…when he looks at you now? That’s the way I used to look at…at your mom.”
“Really?” Kurt tries to keep his voice down because honestly, that’s a bit of a surprise. His mom may have died when he was really young but even he remembers how utterly in love his parents were even after seven or eight years of marriage.
“Yeah. And you only ever look at one person that way in your whole life,” his dad sighs, looking a little melancholy. “I mean, I love Carole; you know I do; but it’s not high school romance love anymore. We both know we can depend on each other and we’ve both been through losing our first loves, so it’s always going to be different. It doesn’t make it any less important, but we’re both older and wiser than we were and that changes how you see things.”
“…Oh,” Kurt’s already figured this out, because he knows in his heart that nobody will ever make him feel the way Finn does, but it’s strange hearing his father say it.
“I mean, you’ve liked other boys since Finn, right?”
“Yes,” Kurt’s hand finds Blaine’s under the covers and he wraps his fingers around it as Blaine sighs against his neck.
“But has it felt the same?”
“No,” Kurt shakes his head. “You’re right. It’s still…it’s still love, but it isn’t as instantly passionate,” he decides after a moment. “But you…you really think he likes me like that?”
“Lemme put it this way: he’s never looked at Rachel or Quinn the way he looks at you. I could see it that night at the wedding; you wouldn’t have even known Rachel was his girlfriend at the time, because even when he was dancing with her he was looking at you,” his dad admits and Kurt tries to hide a rather smug grin at the words.
He loves Rachel, really, but after her speech about Kurt always coming last because he’s not a girl it’s kind of nice to beat her out on this one.
“And I’m happy for you kids. I think you’re gonna work out just fine,” he finishes, patting Kurt’s shoulder this time before moving away. “Get some more sleep, Kurt. I’ll come back down and call you for supper or something, okay?”
“Yeah. Love you, Dad,” he adds, sounding rather young to his own ears, but his father just gives him a tight-lipped smile and nods as he gets to the stairs.
“Love you too, Kurt.”
Kurt listens to him pound his way up the stairs, just as loud as he had come down, and turns to stare at Finn, trailing fingers over his eyelids and down his cheek. He’s not sure if Finn really looks at him like that, but it’s a nice thought nonetheless.
000
Blaine decides that Thursday that he’s not waiting anymore to get back to school and if the doctors are telling him one more week or so, the least he can do is sit in on Glee Club just to get out of the house. Kurt knows better than to protest at this point so he doesn’t say anything about it, and Thursday after school the two of them are heading for Glee while Blaine stares around the halls of McKinley interestedly.
“What?”
“It’s…a school. Like you see on television,” Blaine decides after a moment.
“Yes, well, not every place can be historic and covered in wood,” Kurt snorts and holds open the door for Blaine to pass through.
“Anyway, how’d you convince your principal to let me go here for the last two months of the year? It’s kind of an awkward time to switch, especially since I’m a brand new student,” Blaine adds, nodding his thanks as they pass through the door and into another hall.
“Well, as we discovered last year, my principal has a rather debilitating fear of vampires. He already thinks Tina’s one thanks to what she pulled last year to get him off her case about her gothic clothing, so with two of us it was remarkably easy to convince him,” Kurt grins, fangs visible in the light, and Blaine has to laugh at that one.
“Wow, you’re all pieces of work at this place, aren’t you?” he says fondly as Kurt nudges his shoulder gently.
“We try. Now, come on; it’s just in here,” he pushes open the door to the choir room and Mr. Schuester stops whatever he’s saying to turn and look. “Oh, good, you’re here. Everybody, I’d like you to meet the newest member of the Glee Club…”
“Hey, Blaine,” Sam waves and pats the chair beside him as Blaine gives him a smile and goes to sit.
“It’s so good to see you. Personally I’m overjoyed that now we have another male who can keep up with me vocally…”
Kurt clears his throat and glares at Rachel, who quickly amends her sentence.
“Who can keep up with me vocally and isn’t capable of singing in the same range. Regardless, it’s wonderful to have you, Blaine,” she hugs him carefully as he pats her on the back.
“Thanks, Rachel, but I promise that I’m not coming in here to steal solos or take away anyone’s thunder. The Warblers as a whole somehow decided that I was the only one capable of singing lead so I was given every opportunity, but with a group as diverse and talented as yours having the same people on lead all the time would just be unfair to everybody else,” he says, clasping his hands before going to sit beside Sam who puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles at him.
“Anyway,” Mr. Schuester waves his arms and they all turn back to him. “Normally one would have to audition to join the club but…”
“We all know Frodo over here can sing,” Santana puts in with a coy smirk. “Better than most.”
“Do you all know Blaine?” Mr. Schuester finally asks, looking a little disappointed that his normal ‘welcome-to-Glee-Club’ speech has been mostly nullified, and as they all nod he finally sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Okay, then. Well, welcome to the Club, Blaine.”
“Thank you,” Blaine intones as everybody laughs.
“Now, Blaine hasn’t officially started attending school here at McKinley…”
“Speaking of, when do you get the all-clear to come back?” Tina speaks up, looking over at Blaine. “I know you’re enrolled; Kurt and I made sure of that,” she shares a smirk with Kurt on that one. “But is it okay for you to come back yet?”
“Like I’ve told Kurt, most of what I’ve been doing for the last little while has been precaution only. The doctors think I’ll be good to go next week so long as I don’t over-exert myself, which I guess means that I have to hold off on the dancing for a while,” he notes, leaning back in his chair. “I’m here in spirit, though.”
“And he’s got a better sense of rhythm than Finn,” Kurt points out as Finn squawks in protest. “It’s true, sweetie.”
“Definitely. My cat dances better,” Brittany announces, tossing her hair over her shoulder and blinking.
“This time, Britt, I wouldn’t doubt it,” Santana agrees, patting Brittany’s leg as the blonde smiles vacantly at her.
“Enough about my dancing, okay?” Finn mutters. “I’ve gotten, like, way better.”
“Considering you didn’t kill me at the wedding? Yes, you have,” Kurt’s forced to admit.
“Thank you.”
“That was, like, barely a compliment, Frankenteen,” Santana leans over to muss Finn’s hair and Finn swats her hand away irritably.
“It was a compliment, though,” Finn sulks, pouting with his arms crossed, and Kurt lays a hand on his elbow while stealing a glance at Blaine. If the other boy had thought they were crazy before? He probably would want them all committed after spending a day in their Glee Club.
“Anyway, guys, weekly assignment?” Mr. Schuester tries, and most of the Club turns to look at him. “I’d also like to note that with the inclusion of Blaine we have an equal boy-girl ratio once more which will make choreography a whole lot easier, so you’re really helping us out,” he directs this to Blaine, who just smiles and nods. “And if you’re overwhelmed, I’m sorry to say that it doesn’t really get any better. We’re good at buckling down when it comes close to competition time, but we usually end up winging things more often than not.”
“I’ve been warned,” Blaine says with a glance at Kurt. “And I’ve spent enough time around everybody, but I have to say that I’ve never been in a Club setting that’s so…informal.”
“Yes, the Warblers are rather fond of such concepts as raising your hand when you wish to speak,” Kurt mutters dryly.
“In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with…”
“And gavels,” Blaine adds. “I think Wes is married to his.”
“Oh, God, his gavel,” Kurt chuckles.
“As I was saying, there’s nothing…”
“Okay, guys!” Mr. Schuester claps his hands and cuts off Rachel’s protests. “Now, while we may run things a little differently than at Dalton, Rachel’s right in suggesting that maybe a bit more mutual respect for each other’s ideas can help us improve our communication with each other.”
“Mr. Schuester?” Rachel raises her hand high.
“Yes, Rachel?”
“While that’s a very nice recommendation, I have to point out that you interrupted me to make it,” she lowers her hand and primly straightens her skirt as Mr. Schuester looks vaguely embarrassed.
“It isn’t usually this bad. I think he’s nervous because he knows how amazing you are,” Kurt mutters to Blaine, who waves him off with a laugh.
“Anyway, weekly lesson,” Mr. Schuester turns to the board and starts scribbling something as Kurt leans back in his chair, crossing his legs and keeping one hand on Finn’s arm.
They may all be ten kinds of crazy, but there isn’t another Glee Club anywhere that he’d rather be. And he thinks that, despite how incredulous he might be at the moment, Blaine will come to love it just as much.
000
“So, we haven’t done this in a while,” Finn says later that night as they’re lying in bed, Kurt comfortably positioned on his chest.
“Had a late-night conversation?” he questions, one finger tracing down Finn’s breastbone as Finn sighs and presses into the feather-light touch.
“Yeah. That,” Finn’s hand is warm and solid on his back and Kurt knows that he has to turn this exchange heavy although he really doesn’t want to.
“Finn?”
“Yeah, dude?”
“I need to tell you something,” Kurt’s not going to look at Finn when he says this because no doubt it would only end in a sobbing fest again, so he closes his eyes, curls his fingers around Finn’s shoulder, and gets on with it. “This time next month I have to be human again.”
“Um. Okay?”
“The last moon, Finn,” Kurt says brusquely. “Do you think I enjoyed being tied to the bed with a $400 scarf? Well, granted, under the right circumstances I’ve no doubt it would be quite pleasurable, but…I spent the entire night fighting a battle in my mind, Finn; that’s why I slept for about a day afterward. I can’t…I can’t do that again. It would break me,” he says, enunciating every word fully as Finn’s whole body stiffens. “I’d still be alive, but I’d lose my mind, and I can’t…I don’t want to force you to fall in love with me, but…”
“I’ll do it. I’m not…I’m not letting you lose your mind, Kurt,” Finn’s arms tighten around him and Kurt digs his fingers into Finn’s shoulder, needing the reassurance. “I’ll fall in love with you. I’m…pretty sure I’m almost there already. I know I love you, but…”
“It’s the in love part that’s the kicker,” Kurt finishes that sentence for him. “Do you think…have you ever actually been in love?” he asks carefully, not sure how Finn is going to take this.
“Yeah,” Finn says after a moment, and Kurt’s actually a little surprised because he wouldn’t have expected this. “I mean, I loved Quinn…I think…she was great, but really demanding and kinda mean to me a lot of the time. And I told Santana that I was in love with Rachel, but now I’m not so sure,” he admits, keeping his hand on Kurt’s lower back as his free hand comes up to stroke the shorter boy’s hair out of his eyes. “But yeah, I was definitely in love…maybe I still am, even though…”
And Kurt doesn’t think he’s going to get any more out of Finn, so he thinks about this for a while. He knows that Finn tells him pretty much everything…he’s done that since Kurt was willing to listen about the baby.
Wait.
“Quinn’s baby,” he says, his voice low, and Finn nods.
“I know she…I know she’s not mine, but if Quinn had kept her I’d have loved her like she was. And I’ve never felt anything for anybody as much as I felt for that little baby girl…except you, Kurt. You’re the closest I’ve ever come, and that’s why…that’s why I know I can fall in love with you, because if I can feel that much even after I find out I’m not her father, why can’t I do it for somebody that’s been there for me through everything and that I hold in my arms every night?” he finishes quietly, sounding a little choked, and Kurt honestly had no idea that Finn felt that much for him.
“Finn…”
“It’s cool, man. I don’t want this to turn into us both crying again, so just leave it, okay? We’ve got a month; I’ll figure something out,” Finn decides, hugging Kurt closer.
“Okay. I trust you,” he nuzzles against Finn’s neck and presses a kiss to the warm skin, feeling Finn’s pulse thrum under his lips.
“Good. Is that it for tonight?”
“I think so,” Kurt admits, reaching over to set the alarm and being rather grateful that the next day is Friday. He’s still exhausted from the moon but he only needs to get through one more day of school and, thankfully, no Glee practice before he can sack out for, if he has it his way, the entire weekend.
“That’s great, dude, because I’m beat,” Finn curls his arm around Kurt’s shoulders and pulls him up a little higher. “G’night, man.”
“ ‘Night,” Kurt replies, closing his eyes and letting Finn’s even breaths lull him to sleep.
000
He wakes up, as usual, about twenty minutes before the alarm’s due to go off and wonders if he can close his eyes and just go back to sleep again because he needs every second he can get right now.
However, it never seems to work out the way he wants, and he’s wide awake and restless as Finn continues to snore quietly under him.
“Hey.”
“Wha’?” Finn asks sleepily, snorting a little, and Kurt laughs and kisses his bare shoulder as the other teen sighs happily and opens his eyes. “What times’it?” he mutters.
“Twenty minutes before we have to wake up,” Kurt informs him, sounding far too awake even to his own ears.
“Why’d you wake me up, dude?” Finn asks, voice sleep-hoarse and eyes half-lidded and looking absolutely…well…the word ‘adorable’ comes to mind as much as that doesn’t seem to fit somebody Finn’s size.
“I didn’t want to be awake alone and I don’t think I can fall back asleep,” Kurt whispers and Finn just clamps an arm around his waist and drags him back down.
“Well, I want those extra twenty minutes. G’night.”
“You’re a lot of fun,” Kurt sniffs and Finn moves to pull Kurt’s head down onto his shoulder, holding him there. “I’m not a stuffed animal, Finn.”
“No, you’re too noisy. Go back t’sleep,” Finn murmurs into his hair, and Kurt decides that he’s fighting a losing battle and lets himself relax.
Finn starts stroking his back, fingers light on his skin, and somehow that makes it easier to fall asleep again.
And while part of him wishes he could find a way to store this moment and be able to relive it forever another, bigger part of him knows (hopes?) that they’ll have many more mornings like this in the future.
As long as they can get through this.
Links:
Previous Chapter
Next Chapter
All Chapters
Notes:
1. I thought I’d make this fluffy to make up for the utter angsti-ness of last chapter, but they’re definitely not out of the woods yet.
2. This morning we woke up to a lovely 15 cm of fresh snow. Yay. This is officially the Longest Winter Ever.
3. That’s it ^_^