How Can I Not Love You? - AoixUruha - Oneshot
Title: How Can I Not Love You?
Author: aoispet
Chapter: Oneshot
Genre: songfic, angst.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: character death, suicide.
Band/Pairing: the GazettE/AoixUruha
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Synopsis: A break up is always though.
Author comment: I was listening to Joy Enriquez - How Can I Not Love You(a great song by the way) and an idea just came into my head ><'' I'm not really happy with the result but please check it out and tell me your opinion ok? I'm still learning ><'' xD. Btw sorry if there are mistakes but I didn't have time to check.
Cannot touch
Cannot hold
Cannot be together'
It's been 3 months. Three painful months since their break up. And it still hurt. Only the memories... and seeing the blonde guitarist everyday and knowing he cannot go to him to hug him and kiss him like he would like.. That was not possible anymore...
'Cannot love
Cannot kiss
Cannot have each other'
They both agreed to the break up. Things didn't work anymore. At first, they would have always been together, kiss, hug, practically everyone envyed them for their relationship. But then... something changed. They fought from everything. And the main theme was jealousy. Both of them were really jealous and accused each other of cheating even when they knew it wasn't true. Then they accused each other of indifference. Soon they wondered where all that love went to...
'Must be strong,
And we must let go
Cannot say
What our hearts must know '
After the break up they also agreed to remain professinal to each other. They would meet only when necessary for the band. Those times hurt the most. Seeing his bandmate, his ex-lover close to him and acting cold like in a simple buisness. But after all thatw as it right? Although he knew... deep inside he still loved the blonde and he also knew that Uruha must also love him. He WANTED to believe that. He wanted to think that the other just pretends like he does.
'How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms'
Two weeks after their break up Uruha put him a question that shocked him. 'Do you still love me Aoi?' he asked. But before he could answer or say anything the guitarist murmured a 'forget it' and left the room. How could he really ask that? He really thought he could just forget him like that? In two weeks? He couldn't. He loved the other too much to be able to do that.
'How does one walks away
From all the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone'
He tried to talk to the other about their relationship various times. But the blonde would just change the topic into band matters. The memories of them together haunted him. He wanted so much the other back in his arms, to see his warm smile, feel his warmth in those cold nights...
'Cannot dream
Cannot share
Sweet and tender moments'
He always watched the other. And he was hurt. He was hurt seeing how much fun he was having with the others and how he was laughing with them. Because it seemed that Uruha has gotten over it. But he didn't. He felt jealousy seeing the others give him a hug or bringing a smile upon his lips. He felt that it was his right to do that. But there again, it wasn't anymore was it?
'Must be brave,
And we must go on
Must not say,
What we've known all along'
Yesterday he decided to ask Uruha the same question the other asked him a while ago. He asked him if he still loves him. The answer was cruel to say at least. The blonde said just 'no'. With no emotion in his voice. And he looked exactly into Aoi's eyes while saying it. Like it meant nothing. Then he turned away and left like he always did. So Aoi knows now. He knows that there really is no chance to go back to his ex-lover. He didn't even realize when he started to cry. The tears just fell free on his face. That hurt more then a pumnal right into his heart.
'How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms'
Today, he was sitting in his room. He lost the count of the beers he just consumed. He was drunk right now but the pain was still there. It was still present. His plan of 'drinking to forget' didn't work at all. He looked at all the sleeping pills in his hand. Was he going to do that? He knew it was pathetic. Suicide because his love wasn't responded anymore. But right now he couldn't think straight anymore. The beer and the pain wouldn't let him think straight. He just knew that was what he wanted in this moment. He also knew that if he were to survive this, after he would be sorry for even thinking at such thing as suicide. But right now he didn't care. He decided it was time. So with two gulps from the beer he was currently holding in his hand he took all the pills. It was over. He couldn't go back now. But he knew he still had something to do. He picked up his phone and looked at it for a while before he dialed Uruha's number which he knew by heart. He waited for the tone to ring a few times and then the blonde answered with a tired voice. 'Yes?' that voice... that instantely made his eyes water a bit. He couldn't say anything. 'Aoi? why aren't u talking?' it was a little anger in that voice, probably because of being woken up at such a late hour. After a few seconds his voice could be heard as well. 'I love you' he said. Then it was silence.
'How can I not love you..
When you are you gone.....
Author: aoispet
Chapter: Oneshot
Genre: songfic, angst.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: character death, suicide.
Band/Pairing: the GazettE/AoixUruha
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Synopsis: A break up is always though.
Author comment: I was listening to Joy Enriquez - How Can I Not Love You(a great song by the way) and an idea just came into my head ><'' I'm not really happy with the result but please check it out and tell me your opinion ok? I'm still learning ><'' xD. Btw sorry if there are mistakes but I didn't have time to check.
Cannot touch
Cannot hold
Cannot be together'
It's been 3 months. Three painful months since their break up. And it still hurt. Only the memories... and seeing the blonde guitarist everyday and knowing he cannot go to him to hug him and kiss him like he would like.. That was not possible anymore...
'Cannot love
Cannot kiss
Cannot have each other'
They both agreed to the break up. Things didn't work anymore. At first, they would have always been together, kiss, hug, practically everyone envyed them for their relationship. But then... something changed. They fought from everything. And the main theme was jealousy. Both of them were really jealous and accused each other of cheating even when they knew it wasn't true. Then they accused each other of indifference. Soon they wondered where all that love went to...
'Must be strong,
And we must let go
Cannot say
What our hearts must know '
After the break up they also agreed to remain professinal to each other. They would meet only when necessary for the band. Those times hurt the most. Seeing his bandmate, his ex-lover close to him and acting cold like in a simple buisness. But after all thatw as it right? Although he knew... deep inside he still loved the blonde and he also knew that Uruha must also love him. He WANTED to believe that. He wanted to think that the other just pretends like he does.
'How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms'
Two weeks after their break up Uruha put him a question that shocked him. 'Do you still love me Aoi?' he asked. But before he could answer or say anything the guitarist murmured a 'forget it' and left the room. How could he really ask that? He really thought he could just forget him like that? In two weeks? He couldn't. He loved the other too much to be able to do that.
'How does one walks away
From all the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone'
He tried to talk to the other about their relationship various times. But the blonde would just change the topic into band matters. The memories of them together haunted him. He wanted so much the other back in his arms, to see his warm smile, feel his warmth in those cold nights...
'Cannot dream
Cannot share
Sweet and tender moments'
He always watched the other. And he was hurt. He was hurt seeing how much fun he was having with the others and how he was laughing with them. Because it seemed that Uruha has gotten over it. But he didn't. He felt jealousy seeing the others give him a hug or bringing a smile upon his lips. He felt that it was his right to do that. But there again, it wasn't anymore was it?
'Must be brave,
And we must go on
Must not say,
What we've known all along'
Yesterday he decided to ask Uruha the same question the other asked him a while ago. He asked him if he still loves him. The answer was cruel to say at least. The blonde said just 'no'. With no emotion in his voice. And he looked exactly into Aoi's eyes while saying it. Like it meant nothing. Then he turned away and left like he always did. So Aoi knows now. He knows that there really is no chance to go back to his ex-lover. He didn't even realize when he started to cry. The tears just fell free on his face. That hurt more then a pumnal right into his heart.
'How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms'
Today, he was sitting in his room. He lost the count of the beers he just consumed. He was drunk right now but the pain was still there. It was still present. His plan of 'drinking to forget' didn't work at all. He looked at all the sleeping pills in his hand. Was he going to do that? He knew it was pathetic. Suicide because his love wasn't responded anymore. But right now he couldn't think straight anymore. The beer and the pain wouldn't let him think straight. He just knew that was what he wanted in this moment. He also knew that if he were to survive this, after he would be sorry for even thinking at such thing as suicide. But right now he didn't care. He decided it was time. So with two gulps from the beer he was currently holding in his hand he took all the pills. It was over. He couldn't go back now. But he knew he still had something to do. He picked up his phone and looked at it for a while before he dialed Uruha's number which he knew by heart. He waited for the tone to ring a few times and then the blonde answered with a tired voice. 'Yes?' that voice... that instantely made his eyes water a bit. He couldn't say anything. 'Aoi? why aren't u talking?' it was a little anger in that voice, probably because of being woken up at such a late hour. After a few seconds his voice could be heard as well. 'I love you' he said. Then it was silence.
'How can I not love you..
When you are you gone.....