So tired...
I wish life would get easy and stay easy. I wish when people told you they love you they meant it. I've done it to. I've told someone I loved them without meaning it. Is this my payback?
No. Because I was left behind and handed my heart back before I threw it at someone else to handle. I hate having my own heart. It seems, as of late, that I give it away and get it returned all scarred up and whatnot. At that point it's easier to hand it to someone else. Now it's with me and I cannot pawn it off. I really want to try and care for and nurture it, but I want so much to trade with someone as well.
Ever feel like the world's against you? I didn't feel that way before. Not that I recall anyway. I knew that it was mostly my fault and honestly enjoyed the angst. But now... I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know why people won't talk to me, what I did wrong to hurt them or what I can do to make any of it better. What hurts is that I know only time can truly heal these things, but I feel so alone right now. I want everything to be okay now.
I know I have 2 or 3 friends who would try to help me with this, but all they would be doing is patching it up in the mean-time. What I need, what I want, is to talk with people, to fix this all. But I can't if they won't talk to me.
I am really tired of crying. I am really tired of being alone with my hearts. I am so very exhausted. I want to sleep. And I don't want to wake up until this is all better.
No. Because I was left behind and handed my heart back before I threw it at someone else to handle. I hate having my own heart. It seems, as of late, that I give it away and get it returned all scarred up and whatnot. At that point it's easier to hand it to someone else. Now it's with me and I cannot pawn it off. I really want to try and care for and nurture it, but I want so much to trade with someone as well.
Ever feel like the world's against you? I didn't feel that way before. Not that I recall anyway. I knew that it was mostly my fault and honestly enjoyed the angst. But now... I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know why people won't talk to me, what I did wrong to hurt them or what I can do to make any of it better. What hurts is that I know only time can truly heal these things, but I feel so alone right now. I want everything to be okay now.
I know I have 2 or 3 friends who would try to help me with this, but all they would be doing is patching it up in the mean-time. What I need, what I want, is to talk with people, to fix this all. But I can't if they won't talk to me.
I am really tired of crying. I am really tired of being alone with my hearts. I am so very exhausted. I want to sleep. And I don't want to wake up until this is all better.