A Hope in Hell (3/4)
Title: A Hope in Hell (3/4)
Author/Artist: aoifene
Wordcount: 23,062
Rating: R for sex and violence
Warnings: Draco-centric
Summary: In the aftermath of war, where extreme justice has led the way to injustice and victory has turned into complacency, Draco Malfoy finds the strength to save himself and a few others along the way.
Author's/Artist's Note: Thank you to my wonderful beta team: jamie2109, blamebrampton, oldenuf2nb, and kit84. This story was also inspired a lil bit by James Cameron’s Dark Angel.
Part One
Part Two
It was everywhere and it was just like before, only so much worse. Whoever said that the first time you encountered something you fear made the next time easier was a lying sack of shit. Draco trembled as the magic fire begun to devour the room, its bright, hot tendrils snaking out and engulfing everything in its path. He closed his eyes against the heat, sparing a moment to thank the gods that he was able to get his mother out in time. At least he’d succeeded in the one thing he wanted to do.
Smoke began to fill his lungs and sting his eyes as he freed himself from the ropes. He backed slowly to the corner of the room, cursing their assailant for the loss of his wand. If he ever made it out of this alive, he’d be sure to give the bastard a sound thrashing. He cast his eyes towards the only window in the room, judging its distance. He’d probably burn before he made it that far but he was sure as hell going to try. He’d come too far to die like this. A victim, helpless against fate. If there was one thing being around a Gryffindor all these weeks had taught him, it was that some things were worth risking.
He wasn’t done with the world yet.
Sweat beaded on his forehead as he swallowed thickly. He clenched his fists and sucked as much air into his lungs as he could, readying his stance. However, just as he was about to leap into the flames, a pair of strong arms snatched him from the ground and all of a sudden he could taste the sweet tang of clean air and the cold rush of wind.
“What the fuck were you doing?” a voice in his ear yelled. “Are you insane? You could’ve been killed!”
Draco blinked slowly as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. His knees were no longer able to support him as and he slumped to the ground. “What?”
“The Fiendfyre! You know that thing I just pulled you out of? Again.” Harry growled as he grasped Draco by the shirtfront. “What the hell did you think you were doing trying to run into it?”
Draco could’ve shouted back, in fact it was practically his right, seeing as Harry was manhandling him quite brutishly after such a traumatic experience. But he just couldn’t summon the energy to care. All he knew was that he was safe and alive and his ‘abuser’ was once again the one who saved him. As far as Draco was concerned, he could manhandle him anytime he wanted.
He honestly didn’t remember how it happened. One minute he was staring dazedly at Harry’s moving mouth that was working furiously to yell at him about endangering his life. The next he was blocking that very same mouth with his own. The kiss went as quickly as it came. Chaste, abrupt, and completely unremarkable, save for the fact that it was Harry that he was kissing and one look from the boy was enough to make his spine tingle these days.
Dazed silence filled the space between them as they both stared at each other in shock. Draco could hardly believe how he could’ve allowed that to happen. How stupid was he? Here he was fresh from having his sorry arse saved once again by Harry Potter and what does he do? He throws himself at the boy and forces a kiss on him. Panicked beyond belief, Draco tried to find words to explain his actions. To say something that would make this better and stop Harry from hating him completely. “Harry, I’m sorry, I-” he said haltingly, running distressed fingers through his soot covered hair. “Don’t be angry. I was in shock and-”
His confused explanation was thankfully cut short when his mother arrived. “Draco! Oh, thank Merlin Harry made it to you in time.” She engulfed him in a strong embrace that threatened to suffocate all the air out of his lungs. Shaking with relief, he buried his nose in the crook her neck.
“When I’m properly done fussing over you and being deliriously happy to have you safe, we will have a long talk about how you are not to sacrifice yourself in any way, shape, or form,” Narcissa told him firmly. “I had to watch you endanger yourself for over a year for the sake of our family. I won’t let you do it anymore. I won’t lose you. I refuse.”
Draco smiled as he gently wiped her tears away with the back of his hand. “Yes, Mother.”
Narcissa shifted her tearful gaze to Harry. “Thank you for going after him.”
Harry merely waved her off as he sent Draco an unreadable look. “I won’t lose him either.”
It was hours later before Draco found himself alone with Harry again. He halted in the act of following his mother to the Floo and looked back at Harry who was standing in front of the fireplace. He appeared as uncertain as Draco felt.
“Thank you,” Draco said quietly as he gave him a small smile. “I know you don’t play hero just for anybody.”
“No, I don’t.” Harry returned his grin. “And I meant what I said to your mother. I won’t lose you.”
Draco’s smile dimmed a little when they lapsed into a charged silence, each seemingly unwilling to broach the subject but equally unwilling to let it go. They spoke at the same time.
“Look, Harry, about earlier-”
“Draco, when you-”
They laughed at their silliness and that, thankfully, broke some of the tension in the room. Draco looked back at Harry’s relaxed face and thought of how he didn’t want to lose that. No doubt Harry would distance himself if he found out Draco was attracted to him. He’d be nice about it, of course, and he won’t pull away right off the bat but the closeness they shared would become strained and eventually it would slowly fade. He didn’t want that to happen, he refused to lose Harry too, especially not to his own reckless stupidity.
“Can we forget about earlier?” He fiddled with his robe sleeve. “I just- I mean-” He sighed at his incoherency as he continued to look at anywhere but Harry. “Please?”
The distressing silence was back and for a moment Draco was certain that Harry would refuse and demand answers. In which case, Draco was going to have to explain his irrational behaviour. He really didn’t want to do that. A confession of love was probably the last thing Harry wanted to hear.
“All right,” Harry said slowly after a long pause. “If you’re sure?”
“Yes.” He nodded his head so fervently he was afraid he’d sprain something. “Thanks.”
“Hey. Look at me.” Harry placed a hand on his shoulder. “It really is okay. And I-”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Draco cut him off, afraid that Harry would change his mind and take back his amicable reply. It was a miracle that the boy was this complacent after Draco had nearly molested him. At Harry’s quiet nod, he gave his goodbyes and stepped into the Floo. He breathed a sigh of relief as the sitting room came into view.
Happy once again to be granted an escape.
---------------------------------
Draco’s footsteps echoed sharply against the marble staircase, his thoughts pensive and jumbled. They only had one chance today. One shot at making the Wizengamot see that his mother was innocent and that she’d earned her full freedom. Thankfully, Harry’s testimony would go a long way to making this that a reality. He risked a sidelong glance at the boy beside him, hastily looking away and reddening as he remembered the feel of chapped lips against his. Now was not the time to think about that. He could deal with it later, when his mother was free and safely ensconced at the Manor. Then he could berate himself for doing such a stupid thing. He’d nearly destroyed his mother’s chance by risking that kiss. Thank Merlin Harry hadn’t become angry or stormed away in disgust. But he still felt guilty beyond belief that, even knowing the possible consequences, a part of him had thought it was worth it.
How it still was.
Draco was so deep in thought that he nearly stumbled when a hand grabbed his wrist. “Harry, what the-”
“Look, I need to tell you something before we go in there and I do this,” Harry started, fidgeting nervously but his grip was firm and strong.
“Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind? Because of last night?” Draco asked, his voice tinged with burgeoning panic. “You can’t. I won’t let you. And you said you were all right and you weren’t freaking out.”
“That’s the part I’ve been re-thinking. No, not the part about not freaking out. I mean - Draco, I-” Harry looked away sheepishly, a hand rubbing the back of his neck. “This isn’t coming out right.” He sighed. “You took me by surprise last night, I admit but-”
“I said I was sorry.” Draco shook his head, wringing his hands in panic. “I haven’t uttered those words since I was four. Surely that counts for something. And this time I actually mean it. It won’t happen again. I swear-”
Harry clamped his hand over Draco’s babbling mouth with an exasperated chuckle. “Will you listen for a minute? Stop talking.” He grinned at the furious expression that command earned him, and laughed as Draco tried to bite his hand in retaliation.
“Whatever it was that passed between us last night.” He smiled softly into those intense grey eyes. “I want it. I think I’ve wanted it for a while but I just couldn’t find the nerve to do anything about it. So much for being the big Gryffindor, eh?”
Draco eased Harry’s hand away slowly. “I think we’re past living like faded stereotypes, Harry,” he told him gently, his expression softening at the tender emotion gazing back at him. He could hardly believe that look was for him. It mirrored how he felt so well that it took his breath away. He had never thought he’d have this chance. “And I think I was propelled more by my brain refusing to function than any sort of bravery.”
“So, maybe there is something to be said for leaping before looking?” Harry tugged him closer, his hands on slender hips. His touch did nothing to ease Draco’s rapidly beating heart.
“Yes, but there is also such a thing as being reckless and suicidal.” Draco sighed as he pulled back, mindful of the fact that they were in still in the middle of the Ministry. If there was anything that the past few weeks had taught him, it was that he had to be cautious with the people he loved. Harry was definitely on that list.
Harry smiled as he tightened his grip, his lips chastely brushing against Draco’s. “That's two things.”
“Two very important things,” he murmured in between Harry’s drugging kisses. “Especially with the attack yesterday.” Harry, however, would not be deterred. His lips claimed Draco's again and again, driving out all thought from both their minds. Draco groaned into the kiss. “What was I saying again?”
Harry laughed at that and began to nuzzle his throat lovingly when Draco stiffened in his arms. “No, Harry! Watch out!”
A jet of red light was headed straight for them and he twisted their bodies violently, switching their positions. He closed his eyes as a burst of magic hit him squarely in the back. He felt himself beginning to fall before Harry’s arms caught him. Darkness started to shroud the corners of his mind as light began to flicker behind his closed eyelids.
And that’s when the screams began.
---------------------------------
Draco blinked slowly as his surroundings swam into focus. A cacophony of colours and sounds filled his aching head. He tried to lift his hand to shield his eyes from the harsh, bright lights, but found it to be deadweight by his side. Panicking, he tried to sit up, but a solid hand on his chest prevented him.
Then came the pain.
Burning. Scalding. So much so that he feared to look down and find his chest being cleaved in two, again. But it was more than the torture of Sectumsempra, because while that curse was designed to drain him of his blood, this one felt as though it was determined to take his magic as well.
The figure above him stepped back in alarm and called for the healers over his screams. Suddenly he was able to breathe again, great big gulps of air as he shuddered weakly against his sweat-soaked bed.
“Mr. Malfoy, do you still feel any pain?” the Mediwizard closest to him asked as she performed various diagnostic spells.
“Seeing as I’ve stopped convulsing dramatically in what I can only assume is my hospital bed, I can safely say no,” Draco snapped angrily, confusion and lingering soreness making him irate.
“Draco!” Harry pushed his way closer amongst the throng of healers. His face was shining with such relief that Draco couldn’t help smiling shakily back, basking in the novelty of having someone look so ridiculous at the sight of him.
“Mr. Potter!” The Mediwizard put her hands on her hips, an irritated scowl on her chubby face. “We’ve told you time and time again that any disruption on your part will force us to remove you from this room. You have interrupted us twice now and-”
“Oh leave off, will you? He thought I was dying, and in his place no less. Of course, he’d be more tightly wound than McGonagall’s bun.” Draco dismissed her scolding with a wave of his hand, garnering him an incredulous stare from Harry and an angrier frown from the healer. “So what was that, anyway? I felt like I was being torn in two.”
“Oh Draco, I-” Harry moved closer, only to be blocked by Ms. Chubby Cheeks. In true Potter fashion, he stood his ground and didn’t back down one bit. Draco would’ve applauded if he wasn’t so anxious about the blasted woman’s diagnosis.
He had reached the end of his patience. “You will leave him be. Harry is going to stay and you can argue with me or I can get another one of those healers that’s crowded behind you to tell me what is going on!” Draco growled.
“You’ve been hit by a dark curse of unknown origin,” she finally said after a minute of glaring. “The Aurors are outside waiting for a statement. Your mother is there as well.”
“Unknown?” Harry echoed in alarm.
“Mother?” Draco struggled against the tangled sheets. “The trial! Harry! What are you doing here, you idiot?” He threw a pillow at him. “You should be at the Ministry, trying to get my mother free. How dare you-”
“Bring you to the hospital after you’ve been hit by a curse aimed for me?” Harry growled, his voice dangerously thin. “The hearing was rescheduled since the primary witness was unable to attend. You’re a bit touched in the head at the moment so I’ll forgive your implication that I should’ve just left you in the hall to die and go merrily on my way.”
“Ugh, so dramatic, Harry. Honestly, I wasn’t dying,” Draco scoffed which caused a slight twinge in his chest. He massaged the spot absently. “Although it did feel like it,” he whispered weakly.
“We’ll find the bastard who cursed you, I promise,” Harry said earnestly as he moved closer to the bed. “And I’ll have Hermione on research work, too. You’ll be fine, you’ll see.”
“Oh stop it! Do you have any idea how undignified it is swooning over me on my sick bed?” Draco chided him with a warm grin, his face flushing.”With a room full of strangers no less. Thank you for that.”
“So that’s what that look was about all these years when I was battling evil, which might I remind you, mostly involved you or your father?” Harry smiled down at him softly, his hand reaching out to meet Draco's. “And here I thought you were just constipated.”
A smart quip was on his lips but before the words could make it past them, the searing pain was back again. He screamed as the air was sucked out of his lungs and his body began to tremble violently. Harry quickly switched his grip to Draco’s waist. Suddenly the feeling became much more intense, until Draco could swear his insides were burning.
Harry’s desperate hold tightened around him and Draco thought he felt his heart stopped as pain exploded in his chest. He flung back his head and howled in anguish. He was in such frantic pain that he completely missed how the arms around him had slackened and when his body slammed back into the bed, there were two thuds instead of one.
---------------------------------
Draco groaned as he slowly regained consciousness, his head filled with a familiar throbbing. He sighed as he stretched carefully. “This better not become a habit.” Draco rolled his shoulders in an effort to loosen them. “You should know that I make a horrible patient and I normally require fresh fruits and hourly foot rubs, Harry.” He opened one eye when only silence met his playful baiting and bolted upright when he saw Harry lying unconscious on the bed next to him. “What in the world-”
“Mr. Malfoy! Please lie back down. You are not well,” the Mediwizard from earlier told him. This time she seemed to be the only healer attending to them.
“Not until you tell me what happened!” he shrieked. “He was fine last I saw him. Quite heftily manhandling me in fact. What the fuck happened between then and now? Or is this another thing that’s of unknown origin?”
“I will only tell you if you calm yourself. Agitating your system in your condition will only cause unnecessary harm,” she replied coolly.
“Fine!” He plopped back down on his bed. “I’m calm. Now tell me.”
The woman sighed in exasperation, but nevertheless she kept up her end of the bargain. “At first, we thought he was cursed as well but we ruled that out upon further analysis. Nothing seemed to be wrong with him except for the fact that his magic level was significantly weak for such a young man. After further testing we found that his state was caused by a reaction to an irritant. This was around the same time we also found the reason for your pain.”
“Which means what, Ms-”
“Mrs. Podley,” she offered. “It seems like the curse only targets your magical aura, as well as Mr. Potter’s specifically. You see, auras affect each other through touch and the strength of their impact is based on the bond shared between those two people. For example, a mother’s touch will always influence her child much more so than a teacher’s or a healer’s would. The same could be said about the touch of a lover. The stronger the bond, the more potent the impact of one aura on another. The spell twists this reaction, and instead of a favourable influence, it will do the opposite. At his touch, your magical core will lash out at you and cause you untold amounts of pain and, although his affliction is minor compared to yours since you were the one directly hit with the curse, your touch drains him of his magic if given enough time.”
Draco paled, visibly shaken by the news. “Is it curable? Is there a counter spell?”
Mrs. Podley sighed deeply at that. “Though we know what the curse does, we still don’t know which spell was used. The Aurors have contacted the Ministry’s Magical Research Department and-”
He scoffed. “As if they’ll lift a finger to help me. They would rather see me behind bars and if I was cursed with something that kept me away from their Golden Boy, so much the better. I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t one of their own kind that concocted something as vile as this.”
“Now, Mr. Malfoy, I know you are upset but I doubt the Ministry would do anything of the sort.”
“Have you seen the papers, Madam? Every day my family is maligned for something my father is already being punished for.” He shook his head. “Most people would think this is justice.”
A strained silence filled the room and Draco turned his eyes to Harry’s form. “Will he be all right?”
“Of course.” She smiled at him. “He just needs some sleep.”
Draco nodded, a maelstrom of conflicting thoughts and feelings whirling in his head. He lay back on his bed and turned on his side, watching the sleeping boy avidly for any signs of wakefulness, not believing the healer’s reassurance of his well being without seeing it for himself. One sobering thought encircled his tired mind.
“You always end up with the worst of it, don’t you?”
---------------------------------
What he needed to do was clear by the next day. Harry had continued to sleep and Draco had kept on worrying. It was only through Harry’s listless tossing and turning that Draco was able to convince himself that the boy was fine and not on the verge of death or a magical coma, as he had feared. Harry would be all right.
The question was for how long?
How long before they touched accidentally and caused another disastrous chain reaction? How long before he forgot himself in the middle of looking at those green eyes he adored so much and reached over? How long would Harry be by his side if he couldn’t even hold his hand?
The problem was, Draco already knew the answer and it was one he didn’t think he could live with. At least not happily. So he had packed and planned and agonized over his future. He’d even fallen into a furious whispered argument over it with his mother who, surprisingly enough, was solidly opposed to his decision. But he would hear none of it, arguing back with the only thing they could agree on.
To stay was a risk - for both of them.
Technically, he wasn’t allowed to leave, especially with the investigation going on and the Ministry bustling about underfoot. But he knew it was only a matter of time before the media got wind of this and that would be like opening a Pandora’s Box. He had no desire to be subjected to that again.
He sighed as he stepped closer to Harry’s bed, memorizing every inch of his face. Leaving without saying goodbye was a very selfish thing to do but what else could he have done? He would never have the chance to walk out the door if green eyes were trained on his back. Harry would fight and push and argue until he made Draco change his mind. And if that proved impossible, he’d set out to change the world instead.
Harry’s last attempt at changing the world had caused him this hurt. Draco wasn’t going to let that happen anymore.
“Goodbye,” he whispered shakily, clutching his borrowed wand.
“I can’t believe you’re actually leaving him!” a shrill voice from behind him screeched and Draco groaned. He’d know that shriek anywhere. “Whilst he’s unconscious no less.”
“Granger-”
“No! Don’t you even bloody try appeasing me,” Granger spat, looking angry enough to spit nails. “You said you cared about him and this is what you do?”
“You don’t know anything,” Draco snapped, stalking forward angrily. “You have no idea what’s going on.”
“A dark curse that forbids your auras to touch?” Granger scoffed. “Does that sound about, right?”
“The hospital had no right to tell you-”
“Oh, give over, will you?” Granger rolled her eyes. “You don’t honestly think there’s anyone left in this hospital that doesn’t know what’s going on between the two of you? Especially after all the headlines.”
“That wasn’t my fault,” Draco began, only to be cut off by a hiss from Granger.
“No, it isn’t, and neither is this curse but breaking Harry’s heart, leaving him while he needs you-” Granger shook her head, frizzy curls bouncing as she did so. “That will be completely on your head.”
“And what would you have me do? Stay and endanger him even more?” He sighed and looked away.
“It might not be permanent, Draco,” she told him gently. “The Ministry-” She cut herself off after she received a glare from him. “Oh fine, I’ll see what I can find. There’s bound to be something on that spell. And there has never been a single question, I haven’t found the answer to eventually.”
“You are pretty handy with that.” He nodded weakly. “But it’s still too risky for me to stay. You’d do the same if it was the Wease-ly.”
Granger sighed in defeat. “At least do it when he wakes up. He deserves the right to hear it from you.”
“You don’t play fair,” Draco groaned, amusement and frustration lining his face. “If it was anyone else, I’d say I was impressed.”
“And if it was anyone else, I’d say I cared.” Granger merely smirked as she left the room.
---------------------------------
The hours spent waiting for Harry to wake up were a different sort of torment. Twice Draco had tried to leave but Granger’s nagging voice kept reverberating in his head, the truth in her words halting his steps until he resumed his vigil by Harry's bedside once more. Thankfully, Harry had recovered well and finally, just after sundown, his eyelids began to flutter. Of course, this caused a ruckus with the team of healers from the day before barging in and all but shoving Draco aside in their rush to attend to Harry. Draco had merely glared but let them be, they were hurrying to Harry’s aid, after all.
His resolve over his decision only strengthened when he saw how slow and sluggish Harry’s movements and responses were. It took a fair amount of time before Harry even realised what happened to land him a bed in St. Mungo’s and when he did, he immediately bolted upright and tried to leave and search for Draco. All in his backless hospital gown. If not for Draco stepping within Harry’s panicked view, the whole of St. Mungo’s would’ve been treated to quite a picture. He stepped back in the shadows once more when the Healer began to explain the curse and its effects. As he heard the gory details once again the same feeling of helpless fear enveloped him.
Staying was risking too much. Now if only he could get Harry to agree with him.
“You’re being stubborn,” Draco told him, his eyes on everything but worried green. Everyone had left on his quiet, yet firm, behest. He needed to do this and had needed to do it yesterday.
Harry merely stepped closer to him. “And you’re being irrational but you don’t see me holding it against you.”
He smiled weakly but he moved back, widening the space between them. “Potter-”
“Potter?” Harry’s face fell and he stumbled backward as if hit by a physical blow.
He forced himself to look away. “Yes, if I have to go through with this, it has to be Potter.”
“You don’t want me anymore.” It was a statement more than a question but the hurt confusion on Harry’s face was enough to make his eyes shine wetly.
He blinked. Hard. “This has nothing to do with what I want.”
“Then why are you doing this?” It came out as a plea and Draco hated himself even more for reducing him to this.
“Didn’t you hear what the healers said?” Draco demanded, the sorrow in his heart making his voice cold and harsh. “We can’t touch. If we do, that blasted curse will not only make my own damned magic hurt me but it will also lash out at you and potentially drain your magic as well.” He shook his head vehemently. “There are a lot of things I’d risk to be with you, your health is not one of them.”
“So you’re doing this to save me?” Harry advanced on him, fury lining his body “Is that it? Do you think I’m some sort of helpless little-”
“I’m doing this because this is the only choice I can bear!” Draco yelled at him, angry at the world, at himself, at the sadistic bastard that had forced this upon them.
“And don’t I have a say? It is my life, too, by the way,” Harry shot back.
“You can’t be trusted with your life,” Draco pointed out as he sighed. “Left up to you, we’d be comatose after a handshake.”
“Bet I could make it worth the handshake though,” Harry said wryly.
“I don’t think we’re using the same definition here.” Draco shook his head, his chuckles dying at the earnest look on the boy’s face. “Harry, don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.”
“I’m not,” Harry insisted. “You want to leave? Fine. Go ahead.” He motioned to the door. “But know that every time you do, I’ll come after you.”
“Stalking is unattractive, Potter,” Draco pointed out, ignoring the way his heart leapt at the tender proclamation.
“When has that ever put you off?” Harry shrugged. “Besides, I figured it was my turn to do it again.”
“Harry-” Draco began, exasperated.
“What? I’m not saying you can’t leave. I clearly can’t stop you.” Harry raised an eyebrow challengingly. “Just like you can’t stop me from following you. Because that’s just the way it is with us.” He smiled wryly. “We never could leave each other well enough alone.”
“I always said you’d be the death of me.” Draco’s shoulders slumped wearily. “I never thought it would be by handshake.”
“Well, I don’t think the curse is that potent.” Harry laughed. “A handjob, maybe, but what a way to go.”
“Ugh, Harry! This will never work.” Draco’s expression grew dim. “I can’t... Hell, I can’t even give you an appreciative pat on the arse without fear of sucking the magic out of you.” He looked away. “You’re better off with someone else.”
“Contrary to popular belief, I do want you as more than just bed partner. And technically, you’d be better off with someone else, too,” he pointed out. “Except for the fact that if you do decide to do that, you’d best prepared for random glassware exploding around you at certain times. I never did learn how to share.”
“Destructive brute. Someone clearly has to take you in hand.” Draco smiled at him fondly.
“Yes.” Harry nodded eagerly. “Think of it as a public service.”
“It is a dirty job...” Draco’s grin turned wistful as he locked his eyes with his. “If we could, I’d be kissing you by now.”
“And if I could, we’d both be naked doing it.” Harry drew nearer, his lips mere inches away from Draco’s upturned face.
“We’re doomed, aren’t we?” Draco whispered, close enough to feel the breath from Harry’s lips. His heart filling at the look of love he saw reflected into those green eyes.
“Yeah,” Harry whispered gently as he strained to keep his body from moving forward, unwilling to hurt him by closing the gap between them. “But what a way to go.”
Part Four
Author/Artist: aoifene
Wordcount: 23,062
Rating: R for sex and violence
Warnings: Draco-centric
Summary: In the aftermath of war, where extreme justice has led the way to injustice and victory has turned into complacency, Draco Malfoy finds the strength to save himself and a few others along the way.
Author's/Artist's Note: Thank you to my wonderful beta team: jamie2109, blamebrampton, oldenuf2nb, and kit84. This story was also inspired a lil bit by James Cameron’s Dark Angel.
Part One
Part Two
It was everywhere and it was just like before, only so much worse. Whoever said that the first time you encountered something you fear made the next time easier was a lying sack of shit. Draco trembled as the magic fire begun to devour the room, its bright, hot tendrils snaking out and engulfing everything in its path. He closed his eyes against the heat, sparing a moment to thank the gods that he was able to get his mother out in time. At least he’d succeeded in the one thing he wanted to do.
Smoke began to fill his lungs and sting his eyes as he freed himself from the ropes. He backed slowly to the corner of the room, cursing their assailant for the loss of his wand. If he ever made it out of this alive, he’d be sure to give the bastard a sound thrashing. He cast his eyes towards the only window in the room, judging its distance. He’d probably burn before he made it that far but he was sure as hell going to try. He’d come too far to die like this. A victim, helpless against fate. If there was one thing being around a Gryffindor all these weeks had taught him, it was that some things were worth risking.
He wasn’t done with the world yet.
Sweat beaded on his forehead as he swallowed thickly. He clenched his fists and sucked as much air into his lungs as he could, readying his stance. However, just as he was about to leap into the flames, a pair of strong arms snatched him from the ground and all of a sudden he could taste the sweet tang of clean air and the cold rush of wind.
“What the fuck were you doing?” a voice in his ear yelled. “Are you insane? You could’ve been killed!”
Draco blinked slowly as he tried to make sense of what had just happened. His knees were no longer able to support him as and he slumped to the ground. “What?”
“The Fiendfyre! You know that thing I just pulled you out of? Again.” Harry growled as he grasped Draco by the shirtfront. “What the hell did you think you were doing trying to run into it?”
Draco could’ve shouted back, in fact it was practically his right, seeing as Harry was manhandling him quite brutishly after such a traumatic experience. But he just couldn’t summon the energy to care. All he knew was that he was safe and alive and his ‘abuser’ was once again the one who saved him. As far as Draco was concerned, he could manhandle him anytime he wanted.
He honestly didn’t remember how it happened. One minute he was staring dazedly at Harry’s moving mouth that was working furiously to yell at him about endangering his life. The next he was blocking that very same mouth with his own. The kiss went as quickly as it came. Chaste, abrupt, and completely unremarkable, save for the fact that it was Harry that he was kissing and one look from the boy was enough to make his spine tingle these days.
Dazed silence filled the space between them as they both stared at each other in shock. Draco could hardly believe how he could’ve allowed that to happen. How stupid was he? Here he was fresh from having his sorry arse saved once again by Harry Potter and what does he do? He throws himself at the boy and forces a kiss on him. Panicked beyond belief, Draco tried to find words to explain his actions. To say something that would make this better and stop Harry from hating him completely. “Harry, I’m sorry, I-” he said haltingly, running distressed fingers through his soot covered hair. “Don’t be angry. I was in shock and-”
His confused explanation was thankfully cut short when his mother arrived. “Draco! Oh, thank Merlin Harry made it to you in time.” She engulfed him in a strong embrace that threatened to suffocate all the air out of his lungs. Shaking with relief, he buried his nose in the crook her neck.
“When I’m properly done fussing over you and being deliriously happy to have you safe, we will have a long talk about how you are not to sacrifice yourself in any way, shape, or form,” Narcissa told him firmly. “I had to watch you endanger yourself for over a year for the sake of our family. I won’t let you do it anymore. I won’t lose you. I refuse.”
Draco smiled as he gently wiped her tears away with the back of his hand. “Yes, Mother.”
Narcissa shifted her tearful gaze to Harry. “Thank you for going after him.”
Harry merely waved her off as he sent Draco an unreadable look. “I won’t lose him either.”
It was hours later before Draco found himself alone with Harry again. He halted in the act of following his mother to the Floo and looked back at Harry who was standing in front of the fireplace. He appeared as uncertain as Draco felt.
“Thank you,” Draco said quietly as he gave him a small smile. “I know you don’t play hero just for anybody.”
“No, I don’t.” Harry returned his grin. “And I meant what I said to your mother. I won’t lose you.”
Draco’s smile dimmed a little when they lapsed into a charged silence, each seemingly unwilling to broach the subject but equally unwilling to let it go. They spoke at the same time.
“Look, Harry, about earlier-”
“Draco, when you-”
They laughed at their silliness and that, thankfully, broke some of the tension in the room. Draco looked back at Harry’s relaxed face and thought of how he didn’t want to lose that. No doubt Harry would distance himself if he found out Draco was attracted to him. He’d be nice about it, of course, and he won’t pull away right off the bat but the closeness they shared would become strained and eventually it would slowly fade. He didn’t want that to happen, he refused to lose Harry too, especially not to his own reckless stupidity.
“Can we forget about earlier?” He fiddled with his robe sleeve. “I just- I mean-” He sighed at his incoherency as he continued to look at anywhere but Harry. “Please?”
The distressing silence was back and for a moment Draco was certain that Harry would refuse and demand answers. In which case, Draco was going to have to explain his irrational behaviour. He really didn’t want to do that. A confession of love was probably the last thing Harry wanted to hear.
“All right,” Harry said slowly after a long pause. “If you’re sure?”
“Yes.” He nodded his head so fervently he was afraid he’d sprain something. “Thanks.”
“Hey. Look at me.” Harry placed a hand on his shoulder. “It really is okay. And I-”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Draco cut him off, afraid that Harry would change his mind and take back his amicable reply. It was a miracle that the boy was this complacent after Draco had nearly molested him. At Harry’s quiet nod, he gave his goodbyes and stepped into the Floo. He breathed a sigh of relief as the sitting room came into view.
Happy once again to be granted an escape.
---------------------------------
Draco’s footsteps echoed sharply against the marble staircase, his thoughts pensive and jumbled. They only had one chance today. One shot at making the Wizengamot see that his mother was innocent and that she’d earned her full freedom. Thankfully, Harry’s testimony would go a long way to making this that a reality. He risked a sidelong glance at the boy beside him, hastily looking away and reddening as he remembered the feel of chapped lips against his. Now was not the time to think about that. He could deal with it later, when his mother was free and safely ensconced at the Manor. Then he could berate himself for doing such a stupid thing. He’d nearly destroyed his mother’s chance by risking that kiss. Thank Merlin Harry hadn’t become angry or stormed away in disgust. But he still felt guilty beyond belief that, even knowing the possible consequences, a part of him had thought it was worth it.
How it still was.
Draco was so deep in thought that he nearly stumbled when a hand grabbed his wrist. “Harry, what the-”
“Look, I need to tell you something before we go in there and I do this,” Harry started, fidgeting nervously but his grip was firm and strong.
“Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind? Because of last night?” Draco asked, his voice tinged with burgeoning panic. “You can’t. I won’t let you. And you said you were all right and you weren’t freaking out.”
“That’s the part I’ve been re-thinking. No, not the part about not freaking out. I mean - Draco, I-” Harry looked away sheepishly, a hand rubbing the back of his neck. “This isn’t coming out right.” He sighed. “You took me by surprise last night, I admit but-”
“I said I was sorry.” Draco shook his head, wringing his hands in panic. “I haven’t uttered those words since I was four. Surely that counts for something. And this time I actually mean it. It won’t happen again. I swear-”
Harry clamped his hand over Draco’s babbling mouth with an exasperated chuckle. “Will you listen for a minute? Stop talking.” He grinned at the furious expression that command earned him, and laughed as Draco tried to bite his hand in retaliation.
“Whatever it was that passed between us last night.” He smiled softly into those intense grey eyes. “I want it. I think I’ve wanted it for a while but I just couldn’t find the nerve to do anything about it. So much for being the big Gryffindor, eh?”
Draco eased Harry’s hand away slowly. “I think we’re past living like faded stereotypes, Harry,” he told him gently, his expression softening at the tender emotion gazing back at him. He could hardly believe that look was for him. It mirrored how he felt so well that it took his breath away. He had never thought he’d have this chance. “And I think I was propelled more by my brain refusing to function than any sort of bravery.”
“So, maybe there is something to be said for leaping before looking?” Harry tugged him closer, his hands on slender hips. His touch did nothing to ease Draco’s rapidly beating heart.
“Yes, but there is also such a thing as being reckless and suicidal.” Draco sighed as he pulled back, mindful of the fact that they were in still in the middle of the Ministry. If there was anything that the past few weeks had taught him, it was that he had to be cautious with the people he loved. Harry was definitely on that list.
Harry smiled as he tightened his grip, his lips chastely brushing against Draco’s. “That's two things.”
“Two very important things,” he murmured in between Harry’s drugging kisses. “Especially with the attack yesterday.” Harry, however, would not be deterred. His lips claimed Draco's again and again, driving out all thought from both their minds. Draco groaned into the kiss. “What was I saying again?”
Harry laughed at that and began to nuzzle his throat lovingly when Draco stiffened in his arms. “No, Harry! Watch out!”
A jet of red light was headed straight for them and he twisted their bodies violently, switching their positions. He closed his eyes as a burst of magic hit him squarely in the back. He felt himself beginning to fall before Harry’s arms caught him. Darkness started to shroud the corners of his mind as light began to flicker behind his closed eyelids.
And that’s when the screams began.
---------------------------------
Draco blinked slowly as his surroundings swam into focus. A cacophony of colours and sounds filled his aching head. He tried to lift his hand to shield his eyes from the harsh, bright lights, but found it to be deadweight by his side. Panicking, he tried to sit up, but a solid hand on his chest prevented him.
Then came the pain.
Burning. Scalding. So much so that he feared to look down and find his chest being cleaved in two, again. But it was more than the torture of Sectumsempra, because while that curse was designed to drain him of his blood, this one felt as though it was determined to take his magic as well.
The figure above him stepped back in alarm and called for the healers over his screams. Suddenly he was able to breathe again, great big gulps of air as he shuddered weakly against his sweat-soaked bed.
“Mr. Malfoy, do you still feel any pain?” the Mediwizard closest to him asked as she performed various diagnostic spells.
“Seeing as I’ve stopped convulsing dramatically in what I can only assume is my hospital bed, I can safely say no,” Draco snapped angrily, confusion and lingering soreness making him irate.
“Draco!” Harry pushed his way closer amongst the throng of healers. His face was shining with such relief that Draco couldn’t help smiling shakily back, basking in the novelty of having someone look so ridiculous at the sight of him.
“Mr. Potter!” The Mediwizard put her hands on her hips, an irritated scowl on her chubby face. “We’ve told you time and time again that any disruption on your part will force us to remove you from this room. You have interrupted us twice now and-”
“Oh leave off, will you? He thought I was dying, and in his place no less. Of course, he’d be more tightly wound than McGonagall’s bun.” Draco dismissed her scolding with a wave of his hand, garnering him an incredulous stare from Harry and an angrier frown from the healer. “So what was that, anyway? I felt like I was being torn in two.”
“Oh Draco, I-” Harry moved closer, only to be blocked by Ms. Chubby Cheeks. In true Potter fashion, he stood his ground and didn’t back down one bit. Draco would’ve applauded if he wasn’t so anxious about the blasted woman’s diagnosis.
He had reached the end of his patience. “You will leave him be. Harry is going to stay and you can argue with me or I can get another one of those healers that’s crowded behind you to tell me what is going on!” Draco growled.
“You’ve been hit by a dark curse of unknown origin,” she finally said after a minute of glaring. “The Aurors are outside waiting for a statement. Your mother is there as well.”
“Unknown?” Harry echoed in alarm.
“Mother?” Draco struggled against the tangled sheets. “The trial! Harry! What are you doing here, you idiot?” He threw a pillow at him. “You should be at the Ministry, trying to get my mother free. How dare you-”
“Bring you to the hospital after you’ve been hit by a curse aimed for me?” Harry growled, his voice dangerously thin. “The hearing was rescheduled since the primary witness was unable to attend. You’re a bit touched in the head at the moment so I’ll forgive your implication that I should’ve just left you in the hall to die and go merrily on my way.”
“Ugh, so dramatic, Harry. Honestly, I wasn’t dying,” Draco scoffed which caused a slight twinge in his chest. He massaged the spot absently. “Although it did feel like it,” he whispered weakly.
“We’ll find the bastard who cursed you, I promise,” Harry said earnestly as he moved closer to the bed. “And I’ll have Hermione on research work, too. You’ll be fine, you’ll see.”
“Oh stop it! Do you have any idea how undignified it is swooning over me on my sick bed?” Draco chided him with a warm grin, his face flushing.”With a room full of strangers no less. Thank you for that.”
“So that’s what that look was about all these years when I was battling evil, which might I remind you, mostly involved you or your father?” Harry smiled down at him softly, his hand reaching out to meet Draco's. “And here I thought you were just constipated.”
A smart quip was on his lips but before the words could make it past them, the searing pain was back again. He screamed as the air was sucked out of his lungs and his body began to tremble violently. Harry quickly switched his grip to Draco’s waist. Suddenly the feeling became much more intense, until Draco could swear his insides were burning.
Harry’s desperate hold tightened around him and Draco thought he felt his heart stopped as pain exploded in his chest. He flung back his head and howled in anguish. He was in such frantic pain that he completely missed how the arms around him had slackened and when his body slammed back into the bed, there were two thuds instead of one.
---------------------------------
Draco groaned as he slowly regained consciousness, his head filled with a familiar throbbing. He sighed as he stretched carefully. “This better not become a habit.” Draco rolled his shoulders in an effort to loosen them. “You should know that I make a horrible patient and I normally require fresh fruits and hourly foot rubs, Harry.” He opened one eye when only silence met his playful baiting and bolted upright when he saw Harry lying unconscious on the bed next to him. “What in the world-”
“Mr. Malfoy! Please lie back down. You are not well,” the Mediwizard from earlier told him. This time she seemed to be the only healer attending to them.
“Not until you tell me what happened!” he shrieked. “He was fine last I saw him. Quite heftily manhandling me in fact. What the fuck happened between then and now? Or is this another thing that’s of unknown origin?”
“I will only tell you if you calm yourself. Agitating your system in your condition will only cause unnecessary harm,” she replied coolly.
“Fine!” He plopped back down on his bed. “I’m calm. Now tell me.”
The woman sighed in exasperation, but nevertheless she kept up her end of the bargain. “At first, we thought he was cursed as well but we ruled that out upon further analysis. Nothing seemed to be wrong with him except for the fact that his magic level was significantly weak for such a young man. After further testing we found that his state was caused by a reaction to an irritant. This was around the same time we also found the reason for your pain.”
“Which means what, Ms-”
“Mrs. Podley,” she offered. “It seems like the curse only targets your magical aura, as well as Mr. Potter’s specifically. You see, auras affect each other through touch and the strength of their impact is based on the bond shared between those two people. For example, a mother’s touch will always influence her child much more so than a teacher’s or a healer’s would. The same could be said about the touch of a lover. The stronger the bond, the more potent the impact of one aura on another. The spell twists this reaction, and instead of a favourable influence, it will do the opposite. At his touch, your magical core will lash out at you and cause you untold amounts of pain and, although his affliction is minor compared to yours since you were the one directly hit with the curse, your touch drains him of his magic if given enough time.”
Draco paled, visibly shaken by the news. “Is it curable? Is there a counter spell?”
Mrs. Podley sighed deeply at that. “Though we know what the curse does, we still don’t know which spell was used. The Aurors have contacted the Ministry’s Magical Research Department and-”
He scoffed. “As if they’ll lift a finger to help me. They would rather see me behind bars and if I was cursed with something that kept me away from their Golden Boy, so much the better. I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t one of their own kind that concocted something as vile as this.”
“Now, Mr. Malfoy, I know you are upset but I doubt the Ministry would do anything of the sort.”
“Have you seen the papers, Madam? Every day my family is maligned for something my father is already being punished for.” He shook his head. “Most people would think this is justice.”
A strained silence filled the room and Draco turned his eyes to Harry’s form. “Will he be all right?”
“Of course.” She smiled at him. “He just needs some sleep.”
Draco nodded, a maelstrom of conflicting thoughts and feelings whirling in his head. He lay back on his bed and turned on his side, watching the sleeping boy avidly for any signs of wakefulness, not believing the healer’s reassurance of his well being without seeing it for himself. One sobering thought encircled his tired mind.
“You always end up with the worst of it, don’t you?”
---------------------------------
What he needed to do was clear by the next day. Harry had continued to sleep and Draco had kept on worrying. It was only through Harry’s listless tossing and turning that Draco was able to convince himself that the boy was fine and not on the verge of death or a magical coma, as he had feared. Harry would be all right.
The question was for how long?
How long before they touched accidentally and caused another disastrous chain reaction? How long before he forgot himself in the middle of looking at those green eyes he adored so much and reached over? How long would Harry be by his side if he couldn’t even hold his hand?
The problem was, Draco already knew the answer and it was one he didn’t think he could live with. At least not happily. So he had packed and planned and agonized over his future. He’d even fallen into a furious whispered argument over it with his mother who, surprisingly enough, was solidly opposed to his decision. But he would hear none of it, arguing back with the only thing they could agree on.
To stay was a risk - for both of them.
Technically, he wasn’t allowed to leave, especially with the investigation going on and the Ministry bustling about underfoot. But he knew it was only a matter of time before the media got wind of this and that would be like opening a Pandora’s Box. He had no desire to be subjected to that again.
He sighed as he stepped closer to Harry’s bed, memorizing every inch of his face. Leaving without saying goodbye was a very selfish thing to do but what else could he have done? He would never have the chance to walk out the door if green eyes were trained on his back. Harry would fight and push and argue until he made Draco change his mind. And if that proved impossible, he’d set out to change the world instead.
Harry’s last attempt at changing the world had caused him this hurt. Draco wasn’t going to let that happen anymore.
“Goodbye,” he whispered shakily, clutching his borrowed wand.
“I can’t believe you’re actually leaving him!” a shrill voice from behind him screeched and Draco groaned. He’d know that shriek anywhere. “Whilst he’s unconscious no less.”
“Granger-”
“No! Don’t you even bloody try appeasing me,” Granger spat, looking angry enough to spit nails. “You said you cared about him and this is what you do?”
“You don’t know anything,” Draco snapped, stalking forward angrily. “You have no idea what’s going on.”
“A dark curse that forbids your auras to touch?” Granger scoffed. “Does that sound about, right?”
“The hospital had no right to tell you-”
“Oh, give over, will you?” Granger rolled her eyes. “You don’t honestly think there’s anyone left in this hospital that doesn’t know what’s going on between the two of you? Especially after all the headlines.”
“That wasn’t my fault,” Draco began, only to be cut off by a hiss from Granger.
“No, it isn’t, and neither is this curse but breaking Harry’s heart, leaving him while he needs you-” Granger shook her head, frizzy curls bouncing as she did so. “That will be completely on your head.”
“And what would you have me do? Stay and endanger him even more?” He sighed and looked away.
“It might not be permanent, Draco,” she told him gently. “The Ministry-” She cut herself off after she received a glare from him. “Oh fine, I’ll see what I can find. There’s bound to be something on that spell. And there has never been a single question, I haven’t found the answer to eventually.”
“You are pretty handy with that.” He nodded weakly. “But it’s still too risky for me to stay. You’d do the same if it was the Wease-ly.”
Granger sighed in defeat. “At least do it when he wakes up. He deserves the right to hear it from you.”
“You don’t play fair,” Draco groaned, amusement and frustration lining his face. “If it was anyone else, I’d say I was impressed.”
“And if it was anyone else, I’d say I cared.” Granger merely smirked as she left the room.
---------------------------------
The hours spent waiting for Harry to wake up were a different sort of torment. Twice Draco had tried to leave but Granger’s nagging voice kept reverberating in his head, the truth in her words halting his steps until he resumed his vigil by Harry's bedside once more. Thankfully, Harry had recovered well and finally, just after sundown, his eyelids began to flutter. Of course, this caused a ruckus with the team of healers from the day before barging in and all but shoving Draco aside in their rush to attend to Harry. Draco had merely glared but let them be, they were hurrying to Harry’s aid, after all.
His resolve over his decision only strengthened when he saw how slow and sluggish Harry’s movements and responses were. It took a fair amount of time before Harry even realised what happened to land him a bed in St. Mungo’s and when he did, he immediately bolted upright and tried to leave and search for Draco. All in his backless hospital gown. If not for Draco stepping within Harry’s panicked view, the whole of St. Mungo’s would’ve been treated to quite a picture. He stepped back in the shadows once more when the Healer began to explain the curse and its effects. As he heard the gory details once again the same feeling of helpless fear enveloped him.
Staying was risking too much. Now if only he could get Harry to agree with him.
“You’re being stubborn,” Draco told him, his eyes on everything but worried green. Everyone had left on his quiet, yet firm, behest. He needed to do this and had needed to do it yesterday.
Harry merely stepped closer to him. “And you’re being irrational but you don’t see me holding it against you.”
He smiled weakly but he moved back, widening the space between them. “Potter-”
“Potter?” Harry’s face fell and he stumbled backward as if hit by a physical blow.
He forced himself to look away. “Yes, if I have to go through with this, it has to be Potter.”
“You don’t want me anymore.” It was a statement more than a question but the hurt confusion on Harry’s face was enough to make his eyes shine wetly.
He blinked. Hard. “This has nothing to do with what I want.”
“Then why are you doing this?” It came out as a plea and Draco hated himself even more for reducing him to this.
“Didn’t you hear what the healers said?” Draco demanded, the sorrow in his heart making his voice cold and harsh. “We can’t touch. If we do, that blasted curse will not only make my own damned magic hurt me but it will also lash out at you and potentially drain your magic as well.” He shook his head vehemently. “There are a lot of things I’d risk to be with you, your health is not one of them.”
“So you’re doing this to save me?” Harry advanced on him, fury lining his body “Is that it? Do you think I’m some sort of helpless little-”
“I’m doing this because this is the only choice I can bear!” Draco yelled at him, angry at the world, at himself, at the sadistic bastard that had forced this upon them.
“And don’t I have a say? It is my life, too, by the way,” Harry shot back.
“You can’t be trusted with your life,” Draco pointed out as he sighed. “Left up to you, we’d be comatose after a handshake.”
“Bet I could make it worth the handshake though,” Harry said wryly.
“I don’t think we’re using the same definition here.” Draco shook his head, his chuckles dying at the earnest look on the boy’s face. “Harry, don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.”
“I’m not,” Harry insisted. “You want to leave? Fine. Go ahead.” He motioned to the door. “But know that every time you do, I’ll come after you.”
“Stalking is unattractive, Potter,” Draco pointed out, ignoring the way his heart leapt at the tender proclamation.
“When has that ever put you off?” Harry shrugged. “Besides, I figured it was my turn to do it again.”
“Harry-” Draco began, exasperated.
“What? I’m not saying you can’t leave. I clearly can’t stop you.” Harry raised an eyebrow challengingly. “Just like you can’t stop me from following you. Because that’s just the way it is with us.” He smiled wryly. “We never could leave each other well enough alone.”
“I always said you’d be the death of me.” Draco’s shoulders slumped wearily. “I never thought it would be by handshake.”
“Well, I don’t think the curse is that potent.” Harry laughed. “A handjob, maybe, but what a way to go.”
“Ugh, Harry! This will never work.” Draco’s expression grew dim. “I can’t... Hell, I can’t even give you an appreciative pat on the arse without fear of sucking the magic out of you.” He looked away. “You’re better off with someone else.”
“Contrary to popular belief, I do want you as more than just bed partner. And technically, you’d be better off with someone else, too,” he pointed out. “Except for the fact that if you do decide to do that, you’d best prepared for random glassware exploding around you at certain times. I never did learn how to share.”
“Destructive brute. Someone clearly has to take you in hand.” Draco smiled at him fondly.
“Yes.” Harry nodded eagerly. “Think of it as a public service.”
“It is a dirty job...” Draco’s grin turned wistful as he locked his eyes with his. “If we could, I’d be kissing you by now.”
“And if I could, we’d both be naked doing it.” Harry drew nearer, his lips mere inches away from Draco’s upturned face.
“We’re doomed, aren’t we?” Draco whispered, close enough to feel the breath from Harry’s lips. His heart filling at the look of love he saw reflected into those green eyes.
“Yeah,” Harry whispered gently as he strained to keep his body from moving forward, unwilling to hurt him by closing the gap between them. “But what a way to go.”
Part Four