Sometimes I love my mind!
I've been having a lot of fun and exciting dreams lately, but the one last night was particularly awesome, so I had to write it down. It's long, I'm afraid, but it has somewhat of a storyline and is all epic and crazy:
It began in an underground station, where a selection of diplomats were waiting for a train. Enemy forces had rigged the tunnel to collapse, killing all within it. Fortunately a dwarf was working on nearby tunnels and noticed the alterations. He bravely entered the platform to get the diplomats out, but was sadly caught in the collapse. He did, however, manage to get everyone else out. The diplomats were welcomed into the dwarven citadel and given lodgings there, but were unable to return home because the collapse had led to the destruction af all tunnels out of the base. The dwarves immediately began work to clear the tunnels, but without help from the other side the efforts could well take years.
Myself and Merlin were the only two humans in the group, and as such we were housed in the same appartments. At first all went well but I found his attitude abrasive after a while. It got to the stage where I hadn't slept at all in the weeks since the collapse, mostly from stress and worry, but also because Merlin wouldn't stop talking! Every time I got close to sleep he would begin a new conversation, and if I didn't answer him he would become very angry. Eventually I waited until he was in the bathrooms and blocked off the door with a chair before he came back. He took great exception to this and demanded to know why someone so wise had been refused entry by someone so beautiful*. When I still wouldn't let him in he went and complained to the dwarves, who broke down the door, but once I explained my situation (Although at first I was very unwilling to admit that I was suffering) they moved my quarters. I was next roomed with a young goblin who was present as an assistant to the goblin diplomats. When the goblin diplomats caused a huge incident (I'm not sure exactly what, but I know they were executed for it) my room-mate was cleared of all involvement, but I still had to try and protect him from the backlash of racial hatred that was stirred up. In trying to do so I got arrested in the market place by a corrupt sherriff who also wanted to arrest the goblin. Fortunately I managed to get him into the safekeeping of one of the more trustworthy dwarves before he managed, and he vowed to keep him safe.
I was taken to the prison by the sherriff, where I spent my time counting marbles** and trying to figure out how to escape. Once I had figured out how to escape I didn't do anything about it though, because I would still be trapped in the citadel, and the latest news coming in was that the people on the other side weren't trying to get us out 'cos they assumed we were all dead. The prison wasn't a bad place to be. It was closer to the surface than the rest of the rooms, 'cos dwarves prefer to be deep down, and one of the cells even had a window to the outside.
One day I was staring out the window when I saw some rock-formations that hadn't been there before. They were scouts for a Troll attack-force. The prison wardens were nowhere to be found so I escaped and went to the gate-guard and warned them. By this time there were hundreds of trolls. They attacked the gate and slaughtered the dwarves easily. It was clear that the trolls would kill everyone if the dwarves didn't retreat and form a solid defence, but dwarves are incapable of retreating from trolls, so they just kept charging at them without organisation, and someone kept yelling "Trolls! Trolls!" so more and more dwarves kept pouring out and charging in senselessly. I told them I would raise the rest of the troops and I ran ahead and yelled "Attack! Fall back and re-form!" without mentioning trolls at all, so the dwarves who didn't already know could still think clearly. I ran down levels as fast as I could to organise everyone before word of the trolls got down (or the trolls themselves, some of whom were close behind me. Fortunately they were only interested in dwarves, so I took to yelling "fully human!" as I charged down the corridors and they let me be.)
When I got to the bottom level it was full of families and non-combatants, so I tried to get them all to scatter into the tunnels and hide. They'd mostly scattered when the trolls burst in, and I realised that if I got caught helping the dwarves it wouldn't matter a fig that I was human so I tried to hide too. I hid behind a pile of rubble, but they soon found me. By now the trolls controlled the whole base and were searching out the last remaining innocents and killing them. The fight was over. One troll leaned over me where I hid cowering and then...
Everything was okay.
The dwarves had ret-conned the dream to fix it all, and now when the attack had started all the nobles and high-ups from neighbouring nations had finally reached us over-land to help get us out of there, and they fought back the trolls. (Never mind that there were only about twenty of them, or that they were tired from the long trek, or that the trolls were insanely powerful.) I found the head dwarf and flew into a mighty rage at him over how stupid it was and how it didn't even fit into the storyline since it had been made clear earlier in the dream that they weren't coming to save us. He asked me if I'd prefer to die and I told him that if he was going to go re-writing my dream he should let me deal with it, 'cos at least my ending would be funny. He said "Fine" and went off in a huff. Now we were back at the beginning of the attack again and I suggested a rite to call for help. After much frantic chanting and circling of magical items I managed to call up Dag Fannar and the rest of the Rispah. They arrived from tunnels from their forges and marched through the corridors of the citadel looking at everyone sternly (dwarf and troll alike) until they handed over their weapons to them. After that, the only problem we had was what to do with all the weapons!
*He said this in a creepy sleazy way, it wasn't just my subconcious talking up my looks :P
**Don't ask. It was a dream, ok.
So yeah, my mind is a weird place.