Ackerman for president
Silly interview care of a silly computer game. 
GameStop: What’s great about this country, and how would you protect that?
Ackerman: It’s the freedom we Americans have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and make something out of ourselves. Anyone in the country can do anything they want if they have the gumption and the guts and a can do attitude. This is a country where a simple farm boy from Iowa can grow up to be the President of the United States. That’s right. That’s me. How would I protect that? With our courage, our compassion, our Athena Cannons and our Century Bombers.
GameStop: What’s wrong with this country, and how would you fix it?
Ackerman: There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s perfect just the way it is. Except for those pessimistic anti-patriotic naysayers who hate everything we stand for. They call this constructive criticism. I call it treason. They think this country needs to be fixed. I think the only thing that needs to be fixed is them so they don’t produce anymore pinko, commie offspring.
GameStop: What traits should American voters look for in a President, and which are your strongest?
Ackerman: Voters should look for someone who knows what they’re doing and isn’t afraid to say so. Someone who doesn’t waste time weighing every possibility, hemming and hawing, looking at both sides of everything. A President has to be decisive. It’s about choosing a course, right or wrong, and sticking to it to the bitter, miserable end. He’s the President of United States. What he says goes. What was the second part of that question?
GameStop: Do you consider yourself a “maverick?”
Ackerman: Yes, I am. I’ve never been one to go along to get along. That’s why I’m for innovation. That’s why I’m for spending trillions more on defense technology. Some people are afraid of that kind of advanced weaponry. Afraid we may open up Pandora’s box and accidentally blow up the planet. Well, hell, you can’t make an omelet if you don’t break a few eggs. Frightened little men with tiny little minds have always been afraid of progress. Hell, if they had their way we’d still be talking on tin cans connected with strings
GameStop: Can you sum up your foreign policy for us?
Ackerman: Do it to them before they do it to us.
GameStop: Is America still a superpower?
Ackerman: I should kick you where it counts, asking me a question like that. America is the greatest nation on Earth! The most powerful force for good in the history of humankind. We have the most powerful military machine ever seen. The finest war technology on the planet, thanks to the good people at FutureTech Incorporated. So I would say…yeah.
GameStop: What must America do to ensure a strong defense?
Ackerman: The best defense is clearly a good offense. If our enemies believe we’re a little trigger happy, well that’s just fine and dandy. If they know that I won’t hesitate to wipe them off the face of the Earth, they’ll think twice before they attack us. In this day and age, you need to be a little bit bad a**.
GameStop: What’s America’s biggest threat globally?
Ackerman: The scourge of Godless communism. Those whiny bast**ds want to take from the rich and give to the poor. They want everyone to be equal and no one to have any more money than anybody else. Well, hell…where’s the fun in that?
GameStop: What’s America’s biggest threat domestically?
Ackerman: Reality TV.
GameStop: Do you believe man is responsible for global warming?
Ackerman: Yes, I do and you know what? Big whoop. If the polar ice caps melt and the oceans rise and the East and West Coast end up underwater, it’s no skin off my nose. I didn’t win those states anyway.
So there you have it - a man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to say it. See more of his political rhetoric in his campaign video on our GameStop Cinema page. When you hit the polls this November, you may want to consider Howard Ackerman as a write-in for president. We read somewhere that Mr. Potato Head is the most frequently written-in candidate, and we think Ackerman deserves h
GameStop: What’s great about this country, and how would you protect that?
Ackerman: It’s the freedom we Americans have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and make something out of ourselves. Anyone in the country can do anything they want if they have the gumption and the guts and a can do attitude. This is a country where a simple farm boy from Iowa can grow up to be the President of the United States. That’s right. That’s me. How would I protect that? With our courage, our compassion, our Athena Cannons and our Century Bombers.
GameStop: What’s wrong with this country, and how would you fix it?
Ackerman: There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s perfect just the way it is. Except for those pessimistic anti-patriotic naysayers who hate everything we stand for. They call this constructive criticism. I call it treason. They think this country needs to be fixed. I think the only thing that needs to be fixed is them so they don’t produce anymore pinko, commie offspring.
GameStop: What traits should American voters look for in a President, and which are your strongest?
Ackerman: Voters should look for someone who knows what they’re doing and isn’t afraid to say so. Someone who doesn’t waste time weighing every possibility, hemming and hawing, looking at both sides of everything. A President has to be decisive. It’s about choosing a course, right or wrong, and sticking to it to the bitter, miserable end. He’s the President of United States. What he says goes. What was the second part of that question?
GameStop: Do you consider yourself a “maverick?”
Ackerman: Yes, I am. I’ve never been one to go along to get along. That’s why I’m for innovation. That’s why I’m for spending trillions more on defense technology. Some people are afraid of that kind of advanced weaponry. Afraid we may open up Pandora’s box and accidentally blow up the planet. Well, hell, you can’t make an omelet if you don’t break a few eggs. Frightened little men with tiny little minds have always been afraid of progress. Hell, if they had their way we’d still be talking on tin cans connected with strings
GameStop: Can you sum up your foreign policy for us?
Ackerman: Do it to them before they do it to us.
GameStop: Is America still a superpower?
Ackerman: I should kick you where it counts, asking me a question like that. America is the greatest nation on Earth! The most powerful force for good in the history of humankind. We have the most powerful military machine ever seen. The finest war technology on the planet, thanks to the good people at FutureTech Incorporated. So I would say…yeah.
GameStop: What must America do to ensure a strong defense?
Ackerman: The best defense is clearly a good offense. If our enemies believe we’re a little trigger happy, well that’s just fine and dandy. If they know that I won’t hesitate to wipe them off the face of the Earth, they’ll think twice before they attack us. In this day and age, you need to be a little bit bad a**.
GameStop: What’s America’s biggest threat globally?
Ackerman: The scourge of Godless communism. Those whiny bast**ds want to take from the rich and give to the poor. They want everyone to be equal and no one to have any more money than anybody else. Well, hell…where’s the fun in that?
GameStop: What’s America’s biggest threat domestically?
Ackerman: Reality TV.
GameStop: Do you believe man is responsible for global warming?
Ackerman: Yes, I do and you know what? Big whoop. If the polar ice caps melt and the oceans rise and the East and West Coast end up underwater, it’s no skin off my nose. I didn’t win those states anyway.
So there you have it - a man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to say it. See more of his political rhetoric in his campaign video on our GameStop Cinema page. When you hit the polls this November, you may want to consider Howard Ackerman as a write-in for president. We read somewhere that Mr. Potato Head is the most frequently written-in candidate, and we think Ackerman deserves h