Still Here
Is This Real? Yes It Is!
Have we gone on with our lives?
I think....
I really want to get deep into this but it is soooo hard with the twins, hanging on to me.
Oh they give HELL!
They want all my attention, I love them soooo much but sometimes I just need a break.
I am with them 24-7 I can't work because there is no one to watch them.
Their Momma took off 6 months ago.
It's not like she took care of them when she was here.
Boy this journal is going to be sooo scrambled.
I don't really care, it's for me to get my feelings out. If ya read it fine, if not fine too.
I just need to get my feelings out sometimes.
Dam how I would love to have a job. My poor husband carries the load working 7 days a week.
Good man Ive got. Nothing like my first. The woman beater/junky.
Why do I keep mentioning him you say?
Let's see, I met him as I said when I was 21, I already had a child he was 2 at the time.
I was a wild one! REAL WILD.
When I met I guess I will call him..... Hmm....Dennis, yeah Dennis sounds good. Ha!
What a MENACE he was, ya think he's a changed man?
We'll see...
So much to say so little time to say it. Or write it for that matter
I fell so hard for this fool, or was it I that was the fool, I think it was me... yeah it was me!
We lived in a small town at the time, everyone was related or knew someone that was related to someone.
Everyone knew everyone elses buisness, small towns are like that.
I knew of Dennis from his reputation I had seen him before I knew he was gorgoues, or HOT as my teens say now. Glad to say that he is no longer HOT! He looks so strung out.
I knew he was a rebel, so was I. What I didn't know is what I was getting into.
Now 20 years and 3 children later I have to wonder if I would do it differently. I am sure that I would not trade my kids for anything in this world, and I know that if they were fathered by anyone else that they wouldnt be the same. Although I know that my Husband... I will call him Dean, he has had alot to do with the way they grew up to be like. THANK GOD!
I would hate to think what they would have turned out like if I had stayed with Dennis.
So back to the beginning.
Dennis was HOT with a rep for being a rebel. Girls were crazy about him, they all wanted him. I would see him at the beach with his crowd. Although I was thinking he was just soooo HOT (as my kids say), we hung in different crowds most of us knew one another or knew of one another.
This small town HE grew up in, I didn't I had come from up north to get to know my parents family after they had died, so I was fairly new to the town, although not so new that I didn't know who Dennis was.
Or his crowd.
I would put us in about the same category.
Both crowds rowdy as hell I hate to admit it but mine was the worst of them.
One night I was at a party of a mutual friend of ours. I was trippin on acid, blown away.
It was in December. I will never forget that night. This is no bullshit, this is like something you read in a stupid book but I am telllin ya it's true!
So I am trippin on acid, sitting at the kitchen tabel playing a board game called PASS-OUT those of you in my age bracket should remember that game (smile)
Dennis walks in.... I couldn't take my eyes off of him, him too for that matter.
Through most of the night, we didn't speak yet our eyes locked, I am sure it was the acid.
It was bound to happen though.
With reps like ours we were bound to wind up together, two wrongs don't make a right let me tell ya!
We partied, didn't speak much, just kept our eyes on eachother. The night enede.... or rather it ended in the morning.
I went home, he went I don't know where.
TWINS ARE GIVING ME HELL I WILL HAVE TO FINISH THIS LATER!
Have we gone on with our lives?
I think....
I really want to get deep into this but it is soooo hard with the twins, hanging on to me.
Oh they give HELL!
They want all my attention, I love them soooo much but sometimes I just need a break.
I am with them 24-7 I can't work because there is no one to watch them.
Their Momma took off 6 months ago.
It's not like she took care of them when she was here.
Boy this journal is going to be sooo scrambled.
I don't really care, it's for me to get my feelings out. If ya read it fine, if not fine too.
I just need to get my feelings out sometimes.
Dam how I would love to have a job. My poor husband carries the load working 7 days a week.
Good man Ive got. Nothing like my first. The woman beater/junky.
Why do I keep mentioning him you say?
Let's see, I met him as I said when I was 21, I already had a child he was 2 at the time.
I was a wild one! REAL WILD.
When I met I guess I will call him..... Hmm....Dennis, yeah Dennis sounds good. Ha!
What a MENACE he was, ya think he's a changed man?
We'll see...
So much to say so little time to say it. Or write it for that matter
I fell so hard for this fool, or was it I that was the fool, I think it was me... yeah it was me!
We lived in a small town at the time, everyone was related or knew someone that was related to someone.
Everyone knew everyone elses buisness, small towns are like that.
I knew of Dennis from his reputation I had seen him before I knew he was gorgoues, or HOT as my teens say now. Glad to say that he is no longer HOT! He looks so strung out.
I knew he was a rebel, so was I. What I didn't know is what I was getting into.
Now 20 years and 3 children later I have to wonder if I would do it differently. I am sure that I would not trade my kids for anything in this world, and I know that if they were fathered by anyone else that they wouldnt be the same. Although I know that my Husband... I will call him Dean, he has had alot to do with the way they grew up to be like. THANK GOD!
I would hate to think what they would have turned out like if I had stayed with Dennis.
So back to the beginning.
Dennis was HOT with a rep for being a rebel. Girls were crazy about him, they all wanted him. I would see him at the beach with his crowd. Although I was thinking he was just soooo HOT (as my kids say), we hung in different crowds most of us knew one another or knew of one another.
This small town HE grew up in, I didn't I had come from up north to get to know my parents family after they had died, so I was fairly new to the town, although not so new that I didn't know who Dennis was.
Or his crowd.
I would put us in about the same category.
Both crowds rowdy as hell I hate to admit it but mine was the worst of them.
One night I was at a party of a mutual friend of ours. I was trippin on acid, blown away.
It was in December. I will never forget that night. This is no bullshit, this is like something you read in a stupid book but I am telllin ya it's true!
So I am trippin on acid, sitting at the kitchen tabel playing a board game called PASS-OUT those of you in my age bracket should remember that game (smile)
Dennis walks in.... I couldn't take my eyes off of him, him too for that matter.
Through most of the night, we didn't speak yet our eyes locked, I am sure it was the acid.
It was bound to happen though.
With reps like ours we were bound to wind up together, two wrongs don't make a right let me tell ya!
We partied, didn't speak much, just kept our eyes on eachother. The night enede.... or rather it ended in the morning.
I went home, he went I don't know where.
TWINS ARE GIVING ME HELL I WILL HAVE TO FINISH THIS LATER!