(no subject)
So I can remember lots of things that I went through, being stupid enough to wait for him 2 times while he went to prison.
I was such a good and loyal stupid ass wife.
We even tried making it in 3 different states, thinking that maybe it was just the people that he was around I-we always made up excuses for why he would mess up and why he would hit me, every time we moved....
It was supposed to be different.
It never changed.
If any thing it got worse, It got so bad that when we wound up in Louisiana we were living way out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by some woods, Dennis lost another job due to cocaine.
I had to go to work, I got a job at the same place he got in trouble at for using coke.
I was packing for the military.
Every time he got drunk he would threaten me and tell me stupid shit like.. he would kill me and bury me back in the woods.
It may sound stupid but after almost 9 years of crap. I was scared he would do it one day.
Just before we moved there, we had moved up north to Ohio where he stole my foster parents car and 1000 dollars.
He wrecked the car.
My foster parents agreed not to file charges as long as we left and never came back.
So we wound up in the deep woods of Louisiana living with his mom until we got a place even deeper in the woods.
Every time I would leave for work, I would cry so scared to leave my kids with a drunk.
The last straw was when I was supposed to meet him at his mothers house after work.
When we pulled up there were police cars and an ambulance outside.
I already knew what happened.
His step father had shot him.
He always said that he would.
He was sick and tired of Dennis terrorozing him every time he needed money for beer or drugs.
Needles to say that he lived, but he barely made it.
From there my sister Yvonne came and took us to live with her in Texas.
He was now wanted in two states, La. and Texas for parole violation in Texas and cocaine in La.
We had no choice but to go back to Texas there was no where left to go.
I was soooo tired of him and all his bullshit. It took me forever to see that no matter what he wasn't going to change. Later.....
GUESS WHAT?
I found out that I was pregnant. I cried so hard, the last thing that I wanted was to be pregnant.
Although I wanted my baby I was just so miserable with him.
A part of me was still so crazy in love with him. The other part was just so tired of it all.
When I was 3 and a half months pregnant some how.... I believe it was God, intervined.
Dennis was pulled over while driving and taken to jail.
At the time I thought that my life was over, how was I supposed to make it while pregnant with 2 children and no husband, no job.
Little did I know that life was actually begining.
Thank God for my sister she was my rock.
I wrote him faithfully did my best to be the good wife, We both knew that he was going to do at least 5 years.
I knew I loved him, but I also knew that I didn't.
I just never knew anything else.
He was my first love.
After Denise was born, I went to work my life was moving forward.
Did I say that I had to work under a different name because I too was wanted?
Yeah, ya see I was no innocent either.
So as I said my life was moving forward, meeting people and working; finding a roomate.
I got my own place, I was still faithful.
Sometimes I would have to work double shifts for a few days in a row and I would get hateful letters from Dennis accusing me of every thing under the sun.
Thing was that I was just to dam tired to write sometimes.
So I would get ACCUSED. It got to where I knew he was going to be gone a long time and I knew he couldn't touch me so why not have a good time.
I wasn't the one that was locked up!
So my letters got fewer and fewer but I still sent him his commissary money.
I was just finally free.
The two times before that, that he went to prison I knew it was for such a short time and I was still just soooo crazy about him.
I was still young, but by this time though, I was already 30.
My views were changing my kids were growing, I was alone and I had sooo much time to think on all the things he had done to me.
I won't say that I fell out of love with him I just grew up.
I was free.
I knew that he couldn't hurt me.
One day I am at work and a co-worker was telling me about a wild sister that she had.
She had a set of twins baby girls.
She was married to a good man he loved her but she was just so wild, he worked two jobs while she did nothing but party.
She felt so bad for her brother in law, the way she described him she went on and on.
He really sounded to good to be true.
As time went by, somehow the kids got sick and he took them to the hospital.
They were taken away by CPS the twins were malnourished.
She said he was devastated.
Her sister didn't seem to mind.
They split up she took to strippin at a club.
I won't get into detail about it right now eventually I will though.
One of the twins died. I will never forget that day.
We were at work when she got the news.
I felt so awful.
My daughter Denise was the same age.
Just a couple of months apart.
I couldn't help but wonder about their father.
Time went by, my coworker quit.
One day one of my crew who was very honest with me, came up to my job and told me that he was too drunk to work. He said that he knew someone that could cover for him if I would just let him work under his name. I said sure I didn't want to be short handed. He brought his friend in.
It was Dean.
I didn't know it until my crewman told me that he was the same guy that had lost one of his twins.
I knew when I seen him that he was going to be mine.
My biggest problem was that I was almost 10 years older than him.
I have never looked my age.
Even now 11 years later I don't look my age so I can say that we got passed that.
Within a week we were talking.
It all happened so fast.
He came to my apt. one day. He took one look at Denise and fell in love with her.
His parents had gotten custody of his other little girl, but they had always wanted a little girl, not a boy.
He was adopted and they never let him forget it.
They more or less took his daughter over.
Since they had custody, they had the say so.
I knew that my daughter was filling the void that he felt. I knew he needed her.
Then I started messing up......
Just like Mr. Bad Assed Dennis!......
I was such a good and loyal stupid ass wife.
We even tried making it in 3 different states, thinking that maybe it was just the people that he was around I-we always made up excuses for why he would mess up and why he would hit me, every time we moved....
It was supposed to be different.
It never changed.
If any thing it got worse, It got so bad that when we wound up in Louisiana we were living way out in the middle of nowhere surrounded by some woods, Dennis lost another job due to cocaine.
I had to go to work, I got a job at the same place he got in trouble at for using coke.
I was packing for the military.
Every time he got drunk he would threaten me and tell me stupid shit like.. he would kill me and bury me back in the woods.
It may sound stupid but after almost 9 years of crap. I was scared he would do it one day.
Just before we moved there, we had moved up north to Ohio where he stole my foster parents car and 1000 dollars.
He wrecked the car.
My foster parents agreed not to file charges as long as we left and never came back.
So we wound up in the deep woods of Louisiana living with his mom until we got a place even deeper in the woods.
Every time I would leave for work, I would cry so scared to leave my kids with a drunk.
The last straw was when I was supposed to meet him at his mothers house after work.
When we pulled up there were police cars and an ambulance outside.
I already knew what happened.
His step father had shot him.
He always said that he would.
He was sick and tired of Dennis terrorozing him every time he needed money for beer or drugs.
Needles to say that he lived, but he barely made it.
From there my sister Yvonne came and took us to live with her in Texas.
He was now wanted in two states, La. and Texas for parole violation in Texas and cocaine in La.
We had no choice but to go back to Texas there was no where left to go.
I was soooo tired of him and all his bullshit. It took me forever to see that no matter what he wasn't going to change. Later.....
GUESS WHAT?
I found out that I was pregnant. I cried so hard, the last thing that I wanted was to be pregnant.
Although I wanted my baby I was just so miserable with him.
A part of me was still so crazy in love with him. The other part was just so tired of it all.
When I was 3 and a half months pregnant some how.... I believe it was God, intervined.
Dennis was pulled over while driving and taken to jail.
At the time I thought that my life was over, how was I supposed to make it while pregnant with 2 children and no husband, no job.
Little did I know that life was actually begining.
Thank God for my sister she was my rock.
I wrote him faithfully did my best to be the good wife, We both knew that he was going to do at least 5 years.
I knew I loved him, but I also knew that I didn't.
I just never knew anything else.
He was my first love.
After Denise was born, I went to work my life was moving forward.
Did I say that I had to work under a different name because I too was wanted?
Yeah, ya see I was no innocent either.
So as I said my life was moving forward, meeting people and working; finding a roomate.
I got my own place, I was still faithful.
Sometimes I would have to work double shifts for a few days in a row and I would get hateful letters from Dennis accusing me of every thing under the sun.
Thing was that I was just to dam tired to write sometimes.
So I would get ACCUSED. It got to where I knew he was going to be gone a long time and I knew he couldn't touch me so why not have a good time.
I wasn't the one that was locked up!
So my letters got fewer and fewer but I still sent him his commissary money.
I was just finally free.
The two times before that, that he went to prison I knew it was for such a short time and I was still just soooo crazy about him.
I was still young, but by this time though, I was already 30.
My views were changing my kids were growing, I was alone and I had sooo much time to think on all the things he had done to me.
I won't say that I fell out of love with him I just grew up.
I was free.
I knew that he couldn't hurt me.
One day I am at work and a co-worker was telling me about a wild sister that she had.
She had a set of twins baby girls.
She was married to a good man he loved her but she was just so wild, he worked two jobs while she did nothing but party.
She felt so bad for her brother in law, the way she described him she went on and on.
He really sounded to good to be true.
As time went by, somehow the kids got sick and he took them to the hospital.
They were taken away by CPS the twins were malnourished.
She said he was devastated.
Her sister didn't seem to mind.
They split up she took to strippin at a club.
I won't get into detail about it right now eventually I will though.
One of the twins died. I will never forget that day.
We were at work when she got the news.
I felt so awful.
My daughter Denise was the same age.
Just a couple of months apart.
I couldn't help but wonder about their father.
Time went by, my coworker quit.
One day one of my crew who was very honest with me, came up to my job and told me that he was too drunk to work. He said that he knew someone that could cover for him if I would just let him work under his name. I said sure I didn't want to be short handed. He brought his friend in.
It was Dean.
I didn't know it until my crewman told me that he was the same guy that had lost one of his twins.
I knew when I seen him that he was going to be mine.
My biggest problem was that I was almost 10 years older than him.
I have never looked my age.
Even now 11 years later I don't look my age so I can say that we got passed that.
Within a week we were talking.
It all happened so fast.
He came to my apt. one day. He took one look at Denise and fell in love with her.
His parents had gotten custody of his other little girl, but they had always wanted a little girl, not a boy.
He was adopted and they never let him forget it.
They more or less took his daughter over.
Since they had custody, they had the say so.
I knew that my daughter was filling the void that he felt. I knew he needed her.
Then I started messing up......
Just like Mr. Bad Assed Dennis!......