Update on me.
So anyone who is friends with me on Facebook or follows me on Tumblr or Twitter probably has some idea that... I'm not doing the greatest right now. I've put some thoughts down below the cut, for anyone interested. Apologies to anyone who's seeing this on Tumblr as well. Hope everything's well with y'all, I know I've been pretty scarce on this account.
My dad has been staying with me since August, and while at first I was really excited to have him home, I had unrealistic expectations about how long it would take him to find work. The reality is, he’s basically been living off me since August. He thinks he’s gonna find some fancy factory job when the fact is… he’s just not. He isn’t. Those kinds of jobs are very hard to come by nowadays, and you have to go through a temp service.
He’s much too lazy to do all that, he won’t even go get a minimum wage job to try and help me out. I know he won’t because he’s had every opportunity to do so (there’s a brand new Walmart in town that my cousin’s wife will help him get a job at, as well as a supermarket within walking distance of my apartment that he could apply at) but he hasn’t.
It’s put a tremendous strain on me financially, as well as emotionally. I’m an introvert, and a bit of a loner by nature. I crave my solitude. My job sucks, and when I come home I can’t even have time alone because my dad is always here. I should mention here that I live in a studio/efficiency apartment, which means it’s the two of us in literally one room and a bathroom. I can’t very well hide in the bathroom all the time, though I do as much as I can.
I checked my bank account yesterday to be sure my rent check went through, and discovered to my horror that I have six dollars in my account (hopefully it’s still there…) and I don’t get paid until next week. Not enough for bus fare or groceries, not by a long shot.
So I finally broke down yesterday and asked my family to help me. I sent out a mass message on Facebook, and after half a day of agonizing over whether or not anyone was going to actually help… I got replies from two of my aunts. I just got back from a “family meeting” with my Aunt Ilene, Aunt Dawn, and Aunt Colleen - three of my favorite people in the whole, wide world - and now there finally appears to be a light at the end of the tunnel.
Now I have enough money to get the bus to and from work next week, until I get paid on Friday. The $38 dollars in my wallet (which was all they collectively had at the moment) means more to me than I can say. I keep getting choked up just thinking about their kindness and knowing that they care. They’re proud of me. I’ve worked really hard to support myself, and it’s been a struggle to even manage that. It’s through that hard work and a little help from dear friends and family that I’ve gotten to this point, but having my dad with me is weighing me down, heavily.
For the first time in months I feel like there can possibly be and end to this, and that I can have my apartment and my privacy back.