maybe i'm just special ed.
okay this might get a bit scary.
I'm not sure when the epiphany occurred though I know it was a fully formed understanding in an applicable sense by halfway though my philosophy. This idea may seem simple but it is just that kind of simple idea I have over looked in considering what has shaped my life. Parents plant ideas of how they assume you are into your mind. Their observations maybe be flawed but that is just their perception of you. The next part is what is influential. In attempts to "connect", they mention their ideas to you. At some point, after hearing those perceptions, you start to believe that is how you are. As time goes on, you outwardly adopt that persona and perpetuate the cycle. In effect, you become what the ideas you are socialized to believe and follow. As I am a Sociology major and socialization is a basic concept, I should not be shocked yet I can't help to believe that my mother may have done this to me in such a manner.
Okay so you must be wondering what the application for that concept caused me to have this revelation. I use to not be social or at least to my mothers standards of social. I think during high school I had one boyfriend and that one didn't last long. Either way, she developed the idea that was too antisocial to a) get a serious boyfriend b) ever gets married. If you are curious, this is where my "I will never get married" self-concept was developed. I did have some social ability before this episode which I believe occurred sometime after I graduated from high school and before I left Elon. At first, I was shocked that she thought that. But then I started to absorb the obliviously flawed logic and believe it. So for the greater portion of the past two years, I have believed that I wasn't "the marrying type". The odd thing is that in high school I did picture myself getting married. In fact, I have what are called my hypothetical wedding plans including a t-length strapless white dress. The guy if you are wondering has always been faceless.
I realized I do have a desire to get married eventually (and by eventually i mean no earlier than a year after finishing undergrad). By no means do I want to do this marrying young thing that so many people around me have done. I frankly have trouble understanding the desire. Though as my bestest is one of those people, I realize I can not pass judgment on their desire to do so. It just doesn't appeal to me. Also by no means to I mean this as I have a goal of winter of 2009. I do have a boyfriend and I wouldn't trade him in at the moment but I don't currently have designs on marrying him. I may have drunkenly clarified that to someone last week.
Be my indecisive nature as it is, I think I have sorted out at least one problem. GO ME!
I'm not sure when the epiphany occurred though I know it was a fully formed understanding in an applicable sense by halfway though my philosophy. This idea may seem simple but it is just that kind of simple idea I have over looked in considering what has shaped my life. Parents plant ideas of how they assume you are into your mind. Their observations maybe be flawed but that is just their perception of you. The next part is what is influential. In attempts to "connect", they mention their ideas to you. At some point, after hearing those perceptions, you start to believe that is how you are. As time goes on, you outwardly adopt that persona and perpetuate the cycle. In effect, you become what the ideas you are socialized to believe and follow. As I am a Sociology major and socialization is a basic concept, I should not be shocked yet I can't help to believe that my mother may have done this to me in such a manner.
Okay so you must be wondering what the application for that concept caused me to have this revelation. I use to not be social or at least to my mothers standards of social. I think during high school I had one boyfriend and that one didn't last long. Either way, she developed the idea that was too antisocial to a) get a serious boyfriend b) ever gets married. If you are curious, this is where my "I will never get married" self-concept was developed. I did have some social ability before this episode which I believe occurred sometime after I graduated from high school and before I left Elon. At first, I was shocked that she thought that. But then I started to absorb the obliviously flawed logic and believe it. So for the greater portion of the past two years, I have believed that I wasn't "the marrying type". The odd thing is that in high school I did picture myself getting married. In fact, I have what are called my hypothetical wedding plans including a t-length strapless white dress. The guy if you are wondering has always been faceless.
I realized I do have a desire to get married eventually (and by eventually i mean no earlier than a year after finishing undergrad). By no means do I want to do this marrying young thing that so many people around me have done. I frankly have trouble understanding the desire. Though as my bestest is one of those people, I realize I can not pass judgment on their desire to do so. It just doesn't appeal to me. Also by no means to I mean this as I have a goal of winter of 2009. I do have a boyfriend and I wouldn't trade him in at the moment but I don't currently have designs on marrying him. I may have drunkenly clarified that to someone last week.
Be my indecisive nature as it is, I think I have sorted out at least one problem. GO ME!