why me
The Lizard Gods are punishing me.
So a few days ago, I’m driving down the same road and a lizard walks up onto my windshield. I’d been checking before pulling out of the driveway, but I missed one. I immediately pulled to the side of the road, opened my door and slapped my hand down on the hood to scare the lizard. The lizard immediately jumped off and left.
I felt so redeemed. I thought surely the Lizard Gods would be satisfied. Alas, no.
Today I was driving along the same road and up comes a lizard. I pull over, roll down my window (no he doesn’t jump in, thank goodness), stick my arm out and slap on the hood. No movement. OK, fine. I open the car door and slam the hood again while standing between the door and car. Nothing. So I reach into the car and grab a piece of paper.
I had consciously unlocked my door at the beginning of this to avoid locking myself out. Unfortunately, I must have gone on autopilot and relocked it as I stood back up between the door and car with the paper in hand. Before I can even try to nudge the guy, he jumps at me. I fall back and he misses me. But with me no longer where I was, the car door falls shut.
Yes, I am an idiot and the keys were still in the ignition. I hadn’t thought it would take such an effort to move the dang lizard. Luckily, I had put my cell phone in my pocket this morning. I called Mom to get the phone number for AAA, no answer, it’s a school day, shoot. I call Dad, straight to voicemail, great.
I call my landlord to ask if there’s a spare key to my apartment (there’s a spare key to my car in there). She has one, rejoice!…but she’s at work. But she is so nice that she refused to be dissuaded from leaving work to come rescue me. She picked me up, we drove three blocks to the apartment, I grabbed the key and she drove me back to my car. It worked out.
BUT CURSE YOU LIZARD!
So a few days ago, I’m driving down the same road and a lizard walks up onto my windshield. I’d been checking before pulling out of the driveway, but I missed one. I immediately pulled to the side of the road, opened my door and slapped my hand down on the hood to scare the lizard. The lizard immediately jumped off and left.
I felt so redeemed. I thought surely the Lizard Gods would be satisfied. Alas, no.
Today I was driving along the same road and up comes a lizard. I pull over, roll down my window (no he doesn’t jump in, thank goodness), stick my arm out and slap on the hood. No movement. OK, fine. I open the car door and slam the hood again while standing between the door and car. Nothing. So I reach into the car and grab a piece of paper.
I had consciously unlocked my door at the beginning of this to avoid locking myself out. Unfortunately, I must have gone on autopilot and relocked it as I stood back up between the door and car with the paper in hand. Before I can even try to nudge the guy, he jumps at me. I fall back and he misses me. But with me no longer where I was, the car door falls shut.
Yes, I am an idiot and the keys were still in the ignition. I hadn’t thought it would take such an effort to move the dang lizard. Luckily, I had put my cell phone in my pocket this morning. I called Mom to get the phone number for AAA, no answer, it’s a school day, shoot. I call Dad, straight to voicemail, great.
I call my landlord to ask if there’s a spare key to my apartment (there’s a spare key to my car in there). She has one, rejoice!…but she’s at work. But she is so nice that she refused to be dissuaded from leaving work to come rescue me. She picked me up, we drove three blocks to the apartment, I grabbed the key and she drove me back to my car. It worked out.
BUT CURSE YOU LIZARD!