Shady Optimism
My moments of self worth and degredation run into each other often leaving me feeling empty and uncertain. I'm being responsible, taking care of things and doing it all sanely in the process. I'm happy; but the true feeling of it seems unreal from lack of experience lately. I fear it's only a moment, only a thought, an idea that will soon pass. Leaving me with the amused reality of it all. I'm beginning to panic. I can't be sure if it's self imposed, real, or habit. I think I miss it. The voice, it's been there for so long and now... now my world is new. Nothing of it is was it is was only days ago. It's happened fast. It's for the better and I feel it for that. No other way would it have been.
P.S. One of the few things I depsise most (not hate) is growing up and being aware of it.
P.S. One of the few things I depsise most (not hate) is growing up and being aware of it.