I want you to know....
July 28
Everything is where is should be, where is was meant to be, regardless of how much it hurts. I'm better than you could imagine, more optimistic than anyone around me.
July 26
I want to scream, cry and laugh- all in the same instant. What a terribly wonderful feeling.
I can't quite say what I am.
July 20
Hey, I'm falling apart and piecing together. For every piece I strain to put back in place- two more break away. Cliche sounding, but seems to fit my current state of mind quite simply and perfectly.
July 17
Everything seems to have come down here. I cover my walls and place my knick-knacks in hope of masking the dark this place has become. I wanted to stay up all night on my parents back porch and watch the sun come up-alone.
July 13
Smoking habitually for someone else's problems- that's not right. Tonight I realized (with a smile hidden in the dark) that it no longer touches me the way it use to.
July 11
I'm done with this shell of beauty
July 10
I don't want to keep this place, nor this time that is no longer mine to hold. It's slowly slipping through my palm and lacing the lines that define my tired pulse. The weakened state of my sanity screams for a mountain, something- anything to grasp hold of and want more than this day to end and the next to never begin.
An intimacy missing in a shallow world, a cold universe surrounding my numbed soul.
I'm picking myself up and becoming agitated at the time for each piece to mold and grow again.
July 7
I wonder if people can feel me when they touch me. Is there any warmth, any certainty of something under their touch? Do I feel as weightless as i do hollow? I don't feel real. I don't find solidity in my thoughts. Nothing tangible holding the cells together. Bringing a beat to my heart. A pulse running with my veins. Smoke seems to fill every extremity leaving me light headed. My chest hurting with every inhale and the notion of caving in with each exhale.
Everything is where is should be, where is was meant to be, regardless of how much it hurts. I'm better than you could imagine, more optimistic than anyone around me.
July 26
I want to scream, cry and laugh- all in the same instant. What a terribly wonderful feeling.
I can't quite say what I am.
July 20
Hey, I'm falling apart and piecing together. For every piece I strain to put back in place- two more break away. Cliche sounding, but seems to fit my current state of mind quite simply and perfectly.
July 17
Everything seems to have come down here. I cover my walls and place my knick-knacks in hope of masking the dark this place has become. I wanted to stay up all night on my parents back porch and watch the sun come up-alone.
July 13
Smoking habitually for someone else's problems- that's not right. Tonight I realized (with a smile hidden in the dark) that it no longer touches me the way it use to.
July 11
I'm done with this shell of beauty
July 10
I don't want to keep this place, nor this time that is no longer mine to hold. It's slowly slipping through my palm and lacing the lines that define my tired pulse. The weakened state of my sanity screams for a mountain, something- anything to grasp hold of and want more than this day to end and the next to never begin.
An intimacy missing in a shallow world, a cold universe surrounding my numbed soul.
I'm picking myself up and becoming agitated at the time for each piece to mold and grow again.
July 7
I wonder if people can feel me when they touch me. Is there any warmth, any certainty of something under their touch? Do I feel as weightless as i do hollow? I don't feel real. I don't find solidity in my thoughts. Nothing tangible holding the cells together. Bringing a beat to my heart. A pulse running with my veins. Smoke seems to fill every extremity leaving me light headed. My chest hurting with every inhale and the notion of caving in with each exhale.