this might be the end
No disputes, no objections, no debates, why even bother with suggestions. Unconditional and unrelenting surrender. Give up, give in, let go.
I think I understand why I cannot be understood. I think I see that what I see cannot be seen by any one else. Some may come close, and in enough of a sense everyone's perspective is uniquely theirs...
My fear and loathing cannot be replicated for observation or education. My bliss cannot be disected and analyzed enough to be justified. Not to the judge and jury.
my position is simple put, an impossible one. So now, as it didnt before, it makes perfect sense that no one else can be here but me. Out of all i've lost, things that I thought were more mine then anything in the world, my biggest lost is the possible hope for happiness. You forget the pain of a cut shortly after it heals. You lost the taste of food not too long after its swallowed. I'm not saying that you cant remember if they were good or bad, of why they were, but the how...the feeling, the sensation...that leaves as soon as its gone.
Hope...not so easy to forget, not so easy to remove yourself from. I cannot forget, but even if I could, i would still receive constant reminders. I will never be able to leave my pain fully behind, and that is not by my own will. I wont be able to take my eyes off of the joy that which I will never have.
you know, if I knew what was going on from the beginning, there's the smallest chance that I could have turned out the be the happiest man in the world. The most reasonalbly happy anyway. Now I will just seem like I should be the happiest without being there.
Forgive me for walking a path that might be wrong because what i feel I right, i know cannot work. In both maintaining my sadness and denying my happiness, both might have worked for the better if handled correctly.
I have one why left unanswered. I had many before, they've all been answered now. And now that I think about it, I guess I dont have that question, because it would be why is that most true feeling ive felt a lie. Simple asnwer really, life is unfair, feelings are inaccurate.
I think I understand why I cannot be understood. I think I see that what I see cannot be seen by any one else. Some may come close, and in enough of a sense everyone's perspective is uniquely theirs...
My fear and loathing cannot be replicated for observation or education. My bliss cannot be disected and analyzed enough to be justified. Not to the judge and jury.
my position is simple put, an impossible one. So now, as it didnt before, it makes perfect sense that no one else can be here but me. Out of all i've lost, things that I thought were more mine then anything in the world, my biggest lost is the possible hope for happiness. You forget the pain of a cut shortly after it heals. You lost the taste of food not too long after its swallowed. I'm not saying that you cant remember if they were good or bad, of why they were, but the how...the feeling, the sensation...that leaves as soon as its gone.
Hope...not so easy to forget, not so easy to remove yourself from. I cannot forget, but even if I could, i would still receive constant reminders. I will never be able to leave my pain fully behind, and that is not by my own will. I wont be able to take my eyes off of the joy that which I will never have.
you know, if I knew what was going on from the beginning, there's the smallest chance that I could have turned out the be the happiest man in the world. The most reasonalbly happy anyway. Now I will just seem like I should be the happiest without being there.
Forgive me for walking a path that might be wrong because what i feel I right, i know cannot work. In both maintaining my sadness and denying my happiness, both might have worked for the better if handled correctly.
I have one why left unanswered. I had many before, they've all been answered now. And now that I think about it, I guess I dont have that question, because it would be why is that most true feeling ive felt a lie. Simple asnwer really, life is unfair, feelings are inaccurate.