Etched Into My Skin - chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
Testing the new side effect of their marks was like being granted a wish Blaine never knew he had. It was awkward at first - they didn't talk about it when they met the day after that phone conversation, and there was a lot of furious blushing on both parts. Every time Blaine thought of touching himself after he came home that night, the realization that Kurt would know was both mortifying and really, really hot.
But around midnight, the second ever phantom orgasm - as Blaine called it - nearly brought him to his knees in the kitchen when he was grabbing a glass of milk before bed. Thankfully, neither of his parents were near enough to wonder why their son clutched the open fridge door for a good three minutes, moaning quietly and gasping for breath.
By the time he got back to his room, his reservations were mostly gone. Kurt was clearly fine with it, his recent act like an open invitation, and Blaine wasn't going to reject it.
Afterwards, Kurt called him, sleepy and clearly blissed out, to say goodnight, and it almost felt like falling asleep together after sex - except for the part where they were an hour away from each other.
For the next few days they took turns surprising each other with orgasms at random intervals, increasingly silly and giddy as they texted or talked afterwards, and it became easier every time until they were finally able to talk about it face to face without averting their eyes and blushing.
"God, I wish I could see you come. I can feel you, which is more than most people will ever get, but god, actually seeing you... it's all I've been able to think about since, you know, that night. Every time I got off this week, it's been to this picture in my head."
It was Tuesday and they were in Blaine's room, and apparently kissing Kurt for the last hour had removed Blaine's filter because he had not planned to say any of this. Out loud.
Well, at least his face had been hidden in the enticing, vulnerable curve of Kurt's neck when his mouth decided to betray him, so he didn't have to actually see his boyfriend's reaction. That is, until a gentle hand under his chin made him look up.
Kurt... didn't look shocked. Tousled and flushed and wide-eyed - but not shocked at all.
"Me too," he breathed, the words settling low in Blaine's belly, a delicious tug of excitement.
"Really?" He felt breathless, lightheaded, and Kurt nodded. "So... maybe we could-"
Kurt kissed him, deep and hungry, but pulled off after mere seconds. "We will. But not today. I have to go in ten minutes, fifteen at the latest. I don't want it to be in a hurry. Next time?"
"Next time." Blaine echoed, grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. "Can we still kiss now, though?"
Being together like this - all of their dates, phone calls, experiments, dozens of text messages - was the best; the sweetest part of every day. But it wasn't enough to block out the ache of being apart the rest of the time.
Blaine felt like he was exaggerating, or simply whining, blowing this whole distance thing out of proportion. Plenty of boys at Dalton only saw their girlfriends a few times a week, or even just on the weekends, and it was no big deal. There were other things to fill his time with - classes, friends, the Warblers, his piano lessons and boxing, to name few. His life didn't have to revolve around his boyfriend. Except now that Kurt was back at McKinley, all those other things felt like such a chore - a feeling he'd never had when they'd spent most of their days at Dalton if not together, then at least in each other's vicinity. Now, the distance between them was a constant presence in Blaine's mind. It was distracting.
The separation sickness only made things worse, of course.
In spite of their promises to try and not let it happen again, it did - and not even a week after the first time. Kurt called him on Wednesday, just as Blaine was leaving Warblers practice, to tell him he had a friend-related emergency and wouldn't be able to make it to their date afterall. Blaine barely held in the groan at the news. They were supposed to be alone at his house again, and he'd been giddily excited about it all day, and now the prospect of anything that he hoped might happen behind his closed bedroom door would have to wait until next week at least. Knowing what was in store for tonight only made the disappointment harder.
This time, he was prepared for the awful symptoms, but it didn't make them any more bearable. Kurt called him as soon as he came home around ten, already shivering, and they ended up talking on the phone until two in the morning (which helped a little), and then, at Kurt's bashful suggestion, staying on the phone (thank god for the headsets) - no longer talking as they tested one more way to ease the separation and get some sleep before morning.
Listening to Kurt's soft little moans, and then the high, breathless "Blaine." as he came was the hottest thing ever. And a real orgasm seconds after the channeled one was something his body was not prepared for, judging by the fact that afterwards, he fell asleep so fast it felt like a black out. Well, at least he slept, if only for a few hours.
Nothing could keep him in bed after dawn though, and once a text from Kurt confirmed that Blaine wasn't the only one awake, they decided to make the most of it and meet at a diner halfway between their houses before school. They only had a few minutes together, not even enough to come in and eat breakfast - so they just sat in Blaine's car in the crowded parking lot, sneaking quick, covert touches of each other's marks until they could breathe easier and think clearly. They parted with a short, sweet kiss to start their respective school days, much calmer.
That was two days ago. And now it was the weekend - which was their time, the only chance to spend more than a couple of hours together - and Kurt was bailing on him again.
Yes, Blaine knew of Sam's family predicament already, and he was sympathetic, he really was. And Kurt was an amazing friend, offering to drive Sam around, helping him look for another job, and then babysitting his younger siblings with Quinn - so involved that his own plans fell second. And honestly, it was one of the things Blaine loved about Kurt, this passion he put into everything, be it shopping, performing, or helping his friends.
But the selfish part of him was in a full-fledged rebellion at the thought of a whole long Saturday alone at home, followed by another unbearable night where his body would literally ache for Kurt. It wasn't fair.
He didn't say it out loud, though. It was just that - him being selfish. He shouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill. So he just said it was okay, and found things to do all day while Kurt was too busy to even text, and then he went to bed early without much hope for any rest, and with a short goodnight text to Kurt instead of a call. Which, okay, might have been a little passive aggressive of him.
God, this distance thing was turning him into a terrible person.
To Blaine's surprise, the separation jitters seemed milder this time, and he actually managed to fall asleep after merely an hour of tossing and turning, obsessing whether or not he should call Kurt afterall. Sunday morning found him well-rested, but desperate to get to Lima, and deeply ashamed of his last night's behavior.
It couldn't go on like this. Something had to be done. And he knew exactly what it should be.
The day spent with Kurt and a few of his New Directions friends only deepened his conviction. They went to the mall, and Blaine had never had so much fun clothes-shopping before. He didn't really need new clothes, since he spent most of his time in Dalton uniforms, but... what if it changed? What if he could wear whatever he chose again, anytime he wanted, not just on weekends? And Kurt's expression when he saw Blaine in some of the clothes he picked for him to try on - skinny jeans and colorful shirts, and bowties... Blaine would be very interested to see this expression more often. Like every morning at school, perhaps. Every morning he met Kurt at his locker. At McKinley.
The thought alone was enough to make Blaine's skin tingle with excitement.
The idea had been there, nibbling at his brain, for a few weeks already. Now, it just felt like the right moment had come. It was time.
Blaine spent the drive home rehearsing arguments and speeches in his head. About how the world outside wasn't like Dalton. How he'd needed the safety right after what happened at his old school, but now that he was fine again, it was time to face his demons. How it would surely be better if his parents could save money on the tuition and maybe put it into his college fund, instead.
It all felt very reasonable and mature, not a word about a boyfriend or missing the freedom of being himself and spreading his wings. It should work, right? What problem could his parents have with him transferring to McKinley?
The transfer would take some time, so it was unlikely he would be able to surprise Kurt tomorrow morning, but maybe in a few days? A week, at most? He could even go to Nationals with New Directions if they let him join so late in the year. It would be perfect.
The plan was flawless.
Except the conversation after dinner - while very civilized at first - went nowhere near the way Blaine hoped.
***
Kurt crept down the stairs as fast as he could without risking unnecessary noise, his stomach clenching and heart in full gallop. He made it halfway to the door before his father's voice caught up with him.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Shit. They were supposed to be asleep already.
Clearly they weren't, though. Both his dad and Carole were in the kitchen, sitting at the table over cups of... something, and looking expectantly at Kurt. Well, his dad was expectant; Carole just looked concerned. No wonder, he must have been quite a view, considering he'd already showered and done his evening routine before the emotions hit in earnest. His hair was soft and unstyled and his clothes... Kurt took a quick look down at himself. Green pajama pants and a soft red henley, the first thing that fell into his hands when he opened his closet in a hurry. Not the best combination.
His dad was still waiting for an answer, a frown slowly forming on his forehead, so Kurt struggled to sound composed as he spoke. He mostly failed.
"I just... I have to go see Blaine."
The frown only deepened. "You just saw Blaine, what, four hours ago? Listen, buddy, I know you two are close and all, but there are limits. Like sneaking out at night."
Kurt's hands were shaking by now, the foreign feelings pounding in his head, screaming at him to just go already, and he almost sobbed aloud.
"Dad, please. He needs me."
His father's face softened immediately. "Why, what happened? Did he call you? Does he need to be picked up somewhere or-"
"No, no, I don't know, he didn't call, I just... something's wrong, dad, please. Just let me go see him."
"Okay, kid, I'm sorry, but you have to give me more than something's wrong. How do you know?"
His dad patted the stool next to him and Kurt gritted his teeth and came over to perch on the edge. He was desperate to go, but he knew there was no way they would let him without a good explanation. And the only one he could offer... was the truth. It had to come out sooner or later, and now there was no reason to hide it anyway.
Carole was already boiling the water, a packet of chamomile tea waiting on the counter - clearly it didn't escape her how jittery Kurt was. He took a deep breath and started, trying to keep it as short and simple as possible, Blaine's emotions still a mess in his head, making it hard to focus.
"There's this... thing happening lately to some people, where suddenly a kind of... mark appears on their skin. A name. Not just in Lima - everywhere, and no one knows what it means yet."
The look on his dad's face was a picture of disbelief and suspicion, and Kurt's heart sank. If he had to go all the way upstairs to get his laptop and show him the articles now-
"Wait, I heard about it." Carole put the cup in front of Kurt. "We got a memo at the hospital a few weeks ago, but I've never seen anyone actually have it."
Oh thank god. Kurt nodded, relieved, and simply pulled down the neck of his henley. Carole gasped. His dad frowned.
"Blaine Anderson, huh?"
"Blaine has a matching one." Kurt said, and winced as a stronger wave of need hit him.
"Matching?"
"He has my name. And I don't know how, but sometimes we can feel each other's emotions through it, that's how I know something's wrong. Can I go now? We'll talk about it more tomorrow, I'll tell you everything I know, just... dad."
His father was silent for a moment - every breath one too many for Kurt - before saying. "Okay, it's a lot to take in all at once. So what is it that you feel now? What do you think happened?"
"I don't know!" Kurt groaned, frustrated. "I can't feel what is wrong, just his emotions when they're strong enough. And I've never felt him from this far away before, so... He was so angry a while ago, and then more and more brokenhearted, and miserable, and I just feel that he really needs me now. Dad, please, can I go?"
His father shook his head slowly, his face apologetic. "Kurt... I don't think it's a good idea."
"What? But I told you... I explained, I need to, dad-" His voice broke, throat clenching.
"Kurt, hear me out. Even if I let you go - then what? It's almost midnight. Would you just knock on the door and ask Blaine's parents to see him? And say what?"
"No, I-"
"No, he'd sneak you in, right? I understand, Kurt. You care and you want to be with him. But I'm not okay with you spending the night in your boyfriend's room."
"But we-"
"I can't yet wrap my head around that thing you're speaking of, but from what you said, it doesn't sound like Blaine is hurt or that anything really bad is going on, right?"
"No, but he needs me!"
"And you can go back to your room and call him. You can even do that video-talking thing if you want. But you're not going to Blaine in the middle of the night, Kurt - not unless there's a real emergency."
Kurt fumed and ground his teeth but he knew it was no use protesting. If he put aside the emotional storm in his head - which was starting to calm down now, anyway - he had to reluctantly admit his father was probably kind of right. Knowing that Blaine was upset, that he needed Kurt, and not being able to be by his side in a heartbeat was torture, but he couldn't really blame his dad for saying no to his staying at Blaine's overnight. And they both had school in the morning. And okay, if he were honest, he was probably too jittery and unfocused to drive safely anyway.
It didn't stop him from storming out of the kitchen.
Blaine picked up on the first ring. He sounded a little stuffed up, like he might have been crying, and Kurt's heart ached.
"Hey, baby. Are you alright? What happened there?"
"Oh. So you felt." It wasn't a question, just a resigned statement.
"I did, even all the way over here. I was halfway out the door but my dad stopped me."
Blaine exhaled shakily. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad he did. It wouldn't be a good idea for you to come here right now."
His voiced sounded off in a way Kurt had never heard before, and a sudden shot of fear ran through him. This time, he wasn't sure if it was Blaine's, or his own.
"Why not? What's wrong?" He must have sounded at least a little panicked because Blaine hurried to calm him down.
"No, don't worry. I'm fine, just... I had a fight with my parents. They're still up and arguing downstairs, and if you turned up in the middle of this, it would be the worst thing possible."
"Oh." Suddenly, Kurt felt kind of stupid. In all of his guesses about what was wrong, he hadn't thought of this. "What happened?"
"I... told them about us."
"Oh. I thought you didn't want to tell them, not yet at least." They'd talked about it, and it stung a little, but Kurt understood. And now-
"I didn't. We were talking about something else, just a rational discussion, or so I thought, and then they said some things and it got emotional and I... I snapped. I got angry and I snapped, and of course I only made matters worse." Blaine took a shaky breath, his voice coming out choked when he spoke again. "God, Kurt, I never wanted to tell them like this. I knew they wouldn't be half as accepting as your family but at least I wanted to do it on my own terms, because you and me, it's something beautiful. Something that I'm proud of, that makes me happy. And the way it came out tonight... I'm so sorry, Kurt. I wish I had kept my mouth shut."
Kurt curled up on the bed the way he wanted to curl safely, protectively against Blaine.
"Hey, no, shh, it's okay. They would learn sooner or later, and whatever they think or say, it doesn't change anything. I love you, and what we have is special. Nothing can change that."
He could hear sheets rustling on the other end. "I know. I love you too, I just wish they could see how happy it makes me to have you in my life. Isn't it what they should care about? Not the gender of the person I love?" Blaine sighed wearily. "God, I wish you could be here. Just so you could hold me, and I could fall asleep with you."
Kurt's heart ached for it. "I know, honey. I want that, too. One day in the future, when we live together-" he broke off, suddenly embarrassed. It was way too early in their relationship to talk about these things - or even admit that he thought about it sometimes.
But then he heard Blaine smile over the phone. "I can't wait." A pause, and then, shyly. "Tell me how you see it."
Kurt took a deep breath, his cheek growing hot against the pillow, but then he closed his eyes and started, quietly.
"Well I don't know about you, but I've been thinking New York, maybe?-"