TV Related Anxiety
Originally posted @ http://scruffy-duck.net
I finally figured out the cause of my TV related anxiety.
Every so often, when my mood is a little lower than I care for, I get a bit anxious over watching new episodes of TV programmes. The TV programmes I watch dutifully. I tend to avoid them in this mood, feeling anxiety at the idea of watching this weeks episodes is just weird, even in my opinion and I couldn’t quite figure it out. I stopped watching House half way through the last season, only to finally start re-watching and catching up about two episode before the end of the season. Same with Bones. I still haven’t watched the finale of Stargate Atlantis yet.
I was feeling similar today, it’s Autumn, I’ve more programmes to watch than tea to drink. House again, Bones, Sanctuary, The Mentalist, a new Stargate franchise show, people keep recommending Flash Forward…What am I watching? Will And Grace. In four weeks I’ve watched five seasons of Will And Grace. I’ve managed to keep up with House, and I’ve started the others but my mood dipped a few weeks ago and the same television related anxiety kicked in. Will And Grace seemed like a safer option, for reasons I’ll come back to.
I realised today, watching the season première for Sanctuary why I get this way about TV shows and not new films. I care. I care about the characters, and the programmes, invest too much of myself into them and don’t like it when I don’t know what’s going to happen. I can re-watch everything without a problem, because I know what’s happened, what will happen, and that everything will be resolved one way or another and that life goes on and this get better again.
Example, in season three of House, I can watch the Tritter arc over and over, despite how horrible is was the watch the first time around because I know life goes on and House is okay. I stopped watching House in season five because things were going downhill again, my characters were all in pain and it was too much. I didn’t know what was going to happen, who was going to die, or leave, and if things would improve again afterwards. Not everything gets better, and it causes me anxiety cause I care about these people.
I do not care about the characters in films beforehand. Even in film-series you know they’re less likely to kill people off because of an on-going franchise, like in Spiderman. Harry Potter films do not count in this example because they’re books, and books bring the anxiety to a whole new level. Not Harry Potter books, but other books in general. That’s another post.
So films are easier to watch. Going to see Transformers 2, and worrying about the fate of Shia Labouf’s character doesn’t even come into my spectrum of thinking. Worrying about House, Cuddy, Bones, whoever, does.
New TV programmes, like the new Stargate Universe, or Flash Forward, come with a different anxiety tagged to it. Like, will I enjoy it? Will it get cancelled after one season (Firefly), or two? (Tru Calling) Do I really want to be invested in another show and more people?
It’s been bugging me for ages, why I get like this over TV shoes. When I thought about it, bout re-watching the end of season one of Sanctuary yesterday (I needed a reminder) and watching the new episodes today, it came to me. Then I thought about Iron Man 2, and how that is starting to cause me some anxiety as I invest more into those characters too.
It’s really not healthy. I know this, and I don’t just do this with fictional characters, I do it in the real world, with actual people. I invest in them, their opinions, their moods, in a bid to discover my own mood, my own opinion, because I can’t seem to do it on my own. I’m unsure of myself, my opinions and decisions that much, there is always someone I’ll latch onto for reassurance that whatever I’m doing and feeling is right. Which is really fucked up, and a cause of a lot of my problems but I’m working with it. Knowing what I do is a big step into changing what I do, which is something I am trying. slowly.
I finally figured out the cause of my TV related anxiety.
Every so often, when my mood is a little lower than I care for, I get a bit anxious over watching new episodes of TV programmes. The TV programmes I watch dutifully. I tend to avoid them in this mood, feeling anxiety at the idea of watching this weeks episodes is just weird, even in my opinion and I couldn’t quite figure it out. I stopped watching House half way through the last season, only to finally start re-watching and catching up about two episode before the end of the season. Same with Bones. I still haven’t watched the finale of Stargate Atlantis yet.
I was feeling similar today, it’s Autumn, I’ve more programmes to watch than tea to drink. House again, Bones, Sanctuary, The Mentalist, a new Stargate franchise show, people keep recommending Flash Forward…What am I watching? Will And Grace. In four weeks I’ve watched five seasons of Will And Grace. I’ve managed to keep up with House, and I’ve started the others but my mood dipped a few weeks ago and the same television related anxiety kicked in. Will And Grace seemed like a safer option, for reasons I’ll come back to.
I realised today, watching the season première for Sanctuary why I get this way about TV shows and not new films. I care. I care about the characters, and the programmes, invest too much of myself into them and don’t like it when I don’t know what’s going to happen. I can re-watch everything without a problem, because I know what’s happened, what will happen, and that everything will be resolved one way or another and that life goes on and this get better again.
Example, in season three of House, I can watch the Tritter arc over and over, despite how horrible is was the watch the first time around because I know life goes on and House is okay. I stopped watching House in season five because things were going downhill again, my characters were all in pain and it was too much. I didn’t know what was going to happen, who was going to die, or leave, and if things would improve again afterwards. Not everything gets better, and it causes me anxiety cause I care about these people.
I do not care about the characters in films beforehand. Even in film-series you know they’re less likely to kill people off because of an on-going franchise, like in Spiderman. Harry Potter films do not count in this example because they’re books, and books bring the anxiety to a whole new level. Not Harry Potter books, but other books in general. That’s another post.
So films are easier to watch. Going to see Transformers 2, and worrying about the fate of Shia Labouf’s character doesn’t even come into my spectrum of thinking. Worrying about House, Cuddy, Bones, whoever, does.
New TV programmes, like the new Stargate Universe, or Flash Forward, come with a different anxiety tagged to it. Like, will I enjoy it? Will it get cancelled after one season (Firefly), or two? (Tru Calling) Do I really want to be invested in another show and more people?
It’s been bugging me for ages, why I get like this over TV shoes. When I thought about it, bout re-watching the end of season one of Sanctuary yesterday (I needed a reminder) and watching the new episodes today, it came to me. Then I thought about Iron Man 2, and how that is starting to cause me some anxiety as I invest more into those characters too.
It’s really not healthy. I know this, and I don’t just do this with fictional characters, I do it in the real world, with actual people. I invest in them, their opinions, their moods, in a bid to discover my own mood, my own opinion, because I can’t seem to do it on my own. I’m unsure of myself, my opinions and decisions that much, there is always someone I’ll latch onto for reassurance that whatever I’m doing and feeling is right. Which is really fucked up, and a cause of a lot of my problems but I’m working with it. Knowing what I do is a big step into changing what I do, which is something I am trying. slowly.