Comparing my material to the one it "inspired"
So the leader of my SG let me remake her silly SG, Dark Chrysalis, from an IC POV, since it had no story or purpouse. I presented her with a series of suggestions I posted on the SG "secret GM forum" I got temporarily access too. It was a hard battle for her to accept my suggestions, she never talked of them again for nearly 2 years, and eventually removed my ADMIN access to the secret forum.
I figured she wanted to drop it.
A few months ago, she sends us her "Brand New Concept" for DC, her excuse to revamp the group. Fortunately, I had kept copies of my writs. Seems she renamed a few things, to fake originality but didn't even bother to change my writing style (which sucked because this wasn't going to be the final text).
Let's compare them, shall we?
The Investors
MINE:
First Rank: The Investors
The investors are a group of extremely wealthy, extremely powerful men and women who, despite not being First Generation themselves, they display amazing IQs and they are at the top of their chosen professions, mostly involving science and medicine, and who are the minds behind the whole operation.
They work as a sort of Council, making decisions together, and their identities are unknown to everyone but other Council members, as they are (most of them) famed and reputed in their fields of expertise.
HERS
Investors- The investors are a group of extremely wealthy, extremely powerful men and women who, despite not being First Generation themselves, they display amazing IQs and they are at the top of their chosen professions, mostly involving science and medicine, and who are the minds behind the whole operation. They work as a sort of Council, making decisions together, and their identities are unknown to everyone but other Council members, as they are (most of them) famed and reputed in their fields of expertise.
FIRST GENERATION
MINE
Second Rank: The First Generation
The First Generation are the field commanders of this operation. They are not many, a few dozens (because many died due to mistakes in the program), but they are smarter, stronger and sexier than the average bear. Some of them have superhuman skills (such as Mistress Pistacio) but that was an added bonus, not a goal of their "evolution" program.
The First Generation are the leaders and managers of each Dark Chrsyalis Chapter, which operate as individual cells throughout the world, ensuring that the children under their care are properly raised, cared for and trained.
Usually each chapter specializes in a stage of evolution (kindergarten, teens, etc) and to make abducted children harder to track, moving them about makes it easier to hide them.
Third Rank: Drones
Working Bees are brainwashed\trusty personel used to maintain the chapters, and ranges from teachers to doctors and even security staff.
They are EXTREMELY loyal and many believe in the credo of the organization. All of the staff is carefully monitored, and very few are kept brainwashed and mind controlled, only those involved in operations that cannot risk being compromised -- such as the Pandora Project (more on that later).
Fourth Rank: Second and Third Generations
Children are the future - especially so for Dark Chrysalis. If the First Generation was the proof they could improve mankind, the Second (aged late teens to early 20s) and Third Generations (babies to teens)
are the practical application of all what they learned from creating the First Generation.
.
(...)Even an 8 year old is combat-savy enough to strip and clean a handgun.
HERS
Generation Alpha- The first group of children to be kidnapped and trained in The Program. A small portion of these children died during the first few rounds of experimentation and training. These individuals are now age 27 to 41. Breeding was highly encouraged in this group and their children are considered the Firstborn. Many of Gen. Alpha have natural or science based powers, but a few with magical abilities did survive. Superhuman abilities were added bonuses to the Program, but not the entire goal of the evolutionary process. Some of Generation Alpha work at the Program's initial facility, but many run their own hives.
Generation Beta- The second group of children to be kidnapped and trained in the Program. Very few of these children died during their training as techniques had been perfected during Gen. Alpha. Most of Generation Beta are now grown and off working in or running hives, but some are still in training. Members of this group are age 14 to 28
Generation Gamma- The third group of children to be kidnapped. These children are the same age as the Firstborn, but are kept separate as to not taint the Firstborn with their knowledge of the outside world.
The Firstborn- The children of Generation Alpha. They range in age from 6 to 18. These children are combat savvy. Each knows how to load and shoot a gun. By growing up in The Program, the children have never had real contact with the outside world. No brainwashing techniques were used.
RESEARCH CENTERS and INFILTRATED AGENTS
MINE
2 - The Research Centers
Most legal, some illegal, and all very very secret, it's where all the experiments in many fields concerning human evolution occur. A few of the DC allies (and even some First Generations and Investors) are part of hospitals and laboratories that and in the edge of great breakthroughs. Their discoveries fund themselves, but they aren't shy about taking government stipends either. Drugs are seldomly part of the childrens' diet, but it happens in some cases.
3 - Infiltrated Agents
In legislative bodies, governments, Board of Pharmaceutical and Medical companies, and on lower levels, in hospitals, clinics, and government register sections. This way, should they find a particular strand of genes they desire, they can locate their subjects and either (under the excuse of a medical check up) collect egg and sperm specimens or, in some cases, snatch the babies of particularly promising parents (they prefer in vivo incubation to in vitro), simulating the babies' death to distract the parents (which a DC doctor in staff, faking such a thing is easy). This is also achieved via the Pandora Project.
HERS
The Research Centers- Most legal, some illegal, and all very very secret, it's where all the experiments in many fields concerning human evolution occur. A few of the DC allies (and even some First Generations and Investors) are part of hospitals and laboratories that and in the edge of great breakthroughs. Their discoveries fund themselves, but they aren't shy about taking government stipends either. Drugs are seldomly part of the childrens' diet, but it happens in some cases.
Infiltrated Agents- In legislative bodies, governments, Board of Pharmaceutical and Medical companies, and on lower levels, in hospitals, clinics, and government register sections. This way, should they find a particular strand of genes they desire, they can locate their subjects and either (under the excuse of a medical check up) collect egg and sperm specimens or, in some cases, snatch the babies of particularly promising parents (they prefer in vivo incubation to in vitro), simulating the babies' death to distract the parents (which a DC doctor in staff, faking such a thing is easy). This is also achieved via the Pandora Project.
THE HIVES
MINE
1 - The Hives
The Hives are independent self-contained units that are lead by a First Generation, and are comprised of a few dozen second and third generations of several ages.
The children are carefully controlled and nurtured, mixing a strict regimen of study and training to make the Malta tremble with fear. Even an 8 year old is combat-savy enough to strip and clean a handgun. They aren't only supposed to BE evolution, they're bred to be geniuses capable of overtaking any situation. Genetic excellency only goes so far, and psychological upbringing, study and tests to determine their aptitudes, completes it, as well a combat and physical training. No changes come without a war, and DC is getting ready for theirs beforehand.
There are a few specialized Hives, and it's not uncommon for children to be shifted around when they reach a new age category. The children are instructed with love for the organization, and they're not seen as soldiers, but as precious assets. They are expected to create bonds with their teachers and friends, and to understand the goal of the organization -- return to Eden. All of them are undyingly loyal.
HERS
Hives- The Hives are independent self-contained units that are lead by Generation Alpha or Beta member, and are comprised of a few dozen Gen Beta, Gamma, or Firstborn.
The children are carefully controlled and nurtured, mixing a strict regimen of study and training to make the Malta tremble with fear. Even an 8 year old is combat-savy enough to strip and clean a handgun. They aren't only supposed to BE evolution, they're bred to be geniuses capable of overtaking any situation. Genetic excellency only goes so far, and psychological upbringing, study and tests to determine their aptitudes, completes it, as well a combat and physical training. There are a few specialized Hives, and it's not uncommon for children to be shifted around when they reach a new age category. The children are instructed with love for the organization, and they're not seen as soldiers, but as precious assets. They are expected to create bonds with their teachers and friends, and to understand the goal of the organization -- return to Eden. All of them are undyingly loyal.
The rest of her post is about how the leader of the Hive was inserted in the program, and some of the stuff I wrote (like the Pandora project) was left behind, as well as extensive description of the Chrysalis.
But still. Can you spot the differences? I'm having some trouble.
She must have some awesome memory if she managed to read this 2 years ago and still remember it so well that it accidentally slips into her writing.....