im eating 3 month old carrots.
why is it becoming such a hassel for me to leave this town?
first, I compromised to come earlier than I wanted (the 14th) ((I wanted to come the 18th))
then I had to persaude my Mom to understand that I want to leave the 28th (not Jan 06)
NOW my car wont be ready until Saturday.
I want to get out of this town so badly.
maybe its a sign.
people I would want to see before I leave but I know Im not going to:
-Margaret
-Gina
-Miranda
-Matthew
-Sallie
just throwing that out there.
and sending my love.
this blows.
OH YEAH, I REMEMBER WHY I MOVED OUT NOW.
<3
-edit-
current thought going through my head:
i fucking hate when I go to a friends house or like out to eat or something.
the first thing people always say when they see me "omg ashley you look so good. whatd you do? howd you do it? how much have you lost? you are so disiplined. im so proud. i dont even recognize you!"
blahblahblah, showering me with compliments.
and then something goes on with food, like if we're at a party eating, or im ordering at a restaurant.
"whoa ashley, you dont want to gain all that weight back."
"you know that has 24234 calories in it."
WTF.
you just complimented me on how fucking good I look and how good Im doing.
AND THEN YOURE GONG TO SIT THERE AND TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD EAT OR WHAT I FUCKING SHOULDNT EAT?
DONT YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT IM DOING?
DONT YOU THINK I FUCKING KNOW IF I EAT SOMETHING I NEED TO FUCKING WORK IT OFF?
god its like people just dont care or i dont know.
how can you fucking say a nice thing to someone and then critize them for it?
it makes me so angry.
and then what am i doing now?
im fucking contemplating weither to eat my Grandmas cookies she just sent or fucking keep eating these old carrots.
society is crazy
and its fucking me up badly
i want to eat.
but i dont want to eat.
wow, ive never been so honest about this whole dieting thing
its friggin crazy
but its so worth it
ill never be fat again
first, I compromised to come earlier than I wanted (the 14th) ((I wanted to come the 18th))
then I had to persaude my Mom to understand that I want to leave the 28th (not Jan 06)
NOW my car wont be ready until Saturday.
I want to get out of this town so badly.
maybe its a sign.
people I would want to see before I leave but I know Im not going to:
-Margaret
-Gina
-Miranda
-Matthew
-Sallie
just throwing that out there.
and sending my love.
this blows.
OH YEAH, I REMEMBER WHY I MOVED OUT NOW.
<3
-edit-
current thought going through my head:
i fucking hate when I go to a friends house or like out to eat or something.
the first thing people always say when they see me "omg ashley you look so good. whatd you do? howd you do it? how much have you lost? you are so disiplined. im so proud. i dont even recognize you!"
blahblahblah, showering me with compliments.
and then something goes on with food, like if we're at a party eating, or im ordering at a restaurant.
"whoa ashley, you dont want to gain all that weight back."
"you know that has 24234 calories in it."
WTF.
you just complimented me on how fucking good I look and how good Im doing.
AND THEN YOURE GONG TO SIT THERE AND TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD EAT OR WHAT I FUCKING SHOULDNT EAT?
DONT YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT IM DOING?
DONT YOU THINK I FUCKING KNOW IF I EAT SOMETHING I NEED TO FUCKING WORK IT OFF?
god its like people just dont care or i dont know.
how can you fucking say a nice thing to someone and then critize them for it?
it makes me so angry.
and then what am i doing now?
im fucking contemplating weither to eat my Grandmas cookies she just sent or fucking keep eating these old carrots.
society is crazy
and its fucking me up badly
i want to eat.
but i dont want to eat.
wow, ive never been so honest about this whole dieting thing
its friggin crazy
but its so worth it
ill never be fat again