(no subject)
I haven;t written in this forever.
Why do I love people so much? Like, what the fuck is it with me? I think I have a serious problem. I can't stop, and I just really don't undertsand. I'm not really sure what the fuck I'm talking about right now. Kind of just babbling about everything that is on my mind. I want to grow up, I really do, but I'm just not sure. I miss my friends ,they all went away from me. I miss DMA. I miss you most of all. Yet, I don't even know why I do. I'm not sure anything will ever happen with my feelings, I have the lingering hope that some day I will be give nthe chance to love you as much as I do. But maybe I won't. Maybe I'll have to force the thought out of my mind again. I don't know. I hurt just thinking about it. Loving so much it hurts, kind of dramatic. But I am a dramatic person, let's face it. I love my life, I love the people in it, and i love someone. I want to give my whole heart to them and let them keep it forever. That wuld just be amazing. But I'm not sure it is possible, or that they even want it. Oh well. I'm not sure what to do. I guess I take things the wrong way, or too seriously, or just the way I want to take them, so they mean what I want them to mean. I would be awesome if I could see what it would be like if i really knew what the hell is going on. But, I don't which is ok. I guess it leaves a bit of suspense and hope in my life. Not that I'm suicidal or anything. Just hope for something else, you know? I bet Isound crazy, but I really don't give a flying cunt. That's right, a lfying cunt. Hm. That was quick witted I think. Oh well. My phone is a piece. I got a new computer and i love it. My new favorite word is yum-tastic, or sometimes just yummy. The person i love is yummy. Very yummy actually. But that's not why I am attracted to them... don't get me wrong, they're reall good looking, but that's not all. Smart, funny, and random. I guess you could say those are all the things i look for in someone. And they are definetly there, plus more. Though it does always help if you're yummy :D! I have a cut on my hand that is super annoying, and I am hoping it doesn't scar. Wild Horses just popped into my. No, Not Natasha Bedingfield, that song annoys me. SO does Unwritten, those damn morning announcements. Though, High School was fun. My hair is pretty much black now, and i kind of like it. It is very shiney as well, which is always a plus. Though, it fades, and i must dye it again sometime soon, and I think I might cut it off, though, there are a few people who know why I want to keep it long, LoL. Well, actually, i do like it long. It's never been this long before, so I think I might see if I can wait until Christmas and then hack it off before DMM. I want to look spicy, even though all the other spicies won't be there, except Miss Ashley Shaw that is. Hm, we shall see though. Shelley and I wanted to do fire red in my hair, but I'm not sure if we're still going to do that, I think if I do I'll have a pro do it. There is somthing i nthe ceiling herethat keeps making a scratching noise, and ever so often I get the feeling that it is Satan in the form of a possum coming to get me But oh well, i've been called the Devil's spawn before, so whatever. I'm really not that evil. Except, I kind of am, so oh well. Tricia called me a bitch today. I always thought of myself as more of an asshole or a bastard, even though I'm not a bastard, like, in the context of the word. Whatever. I just cracked my gum, according to Nina's CosmoStyle magazine, that would pretty much make me a skank, as well as the crotchless panties I have, except I'm kidding about the panties, but not the gum thing. Cracking your gum is supposedly a skanky way of getting someones attention. Whatever, I can't help it, I like to do it. So what if I crack my gum and blow bubbles,what else are you supposed to do with gum. Chew it, I know, but that's not the point. Gr.Wild Horses, here it comes again. Geez. i bought lots of new clothes about a month ago, and have only worn like, 1 of the shirts. I like new things, a little too much even. Gas has gotten cheaper, so that is good. My Aunt is supposed to be helping me get a job at Crittenton hospital in Rochester, hopefully I get it. I will also be helping Jenny coach Troy Athens dance team. Laura Jackawencko is on that, i knew her like 50 years ago... actually, I think it was like, 6, but who knows. She can jump rope through ehr arms. I wonder whatever happened to Brittany Buchanan. I liked her a lot, she was a cutie. And then she had to hum and fuck up Prima Ballerina Irina's Sugar Plum Fairy solo. Damnit Brittany. BBLGreen. Hm. I liked Marquee then too, that never went anywhere though. Oh well, always 2nd best. I wish I was more flexible, I did try and get more flexible, and I wish I could tumble. I want to take tumbling, I should too. I've also moved into Yaya's house, which is a blast. I like it a lot here, not that anything was wrong with home. Though I am having trouble sleeping, and when I say trouble i mean as in not being able to sleep until 6 AM. Hm. This is probably quite a bipolar LiveJournal entry, but I could care less. Give a flying cunt, yes, I know. Whatever, I got a lot of things off my mind and i probably will do this again very soon. My birthday is also tomorrow. The big 1-8. Woo hoo, I can legally buy porn, cigarette, and a lotto ticket. And get into club. Big baller, I know. Love you all, especially the yummy one. Hm :D
Why do I love people so much? Like, what the fuck is it with me? I think I have a serious problem. I can't stop, and I just really don't undertsand. I'm not really sure what the fuck I'm talking about right now. Kind of just babbling about everything that is on my mind. I want to grow up, I really do, but I'm just not sure. I miss my friends ,they all went away from me. I miss DMA. I miss you most of all. Yet, I don't even know why I do. I'm not sure anything will ever happen with my feelings, I have the lingering hope that some day I will be give nthe chance to love you as much as I do. But maybe I won't. Maybe I'll have to force the thought out of my mind again. I don't know. I hurt just thinking about it. Loving so much it hurts, kind of dramatic. But I am a dramatic person, let's face it. I love my life, I love the people in it, and i love someone. I want to give my whole heart to them and let them keep it forever. That wuld just be amazing. But I'm not sure it is possible, or that they even want it. Oh well. I'm not sure what to do. I guess I take things the wrong way, or too seriously, or just the way I want to take them, so they mean what I want them to mean. I would be awesome if I could see what it would be like if i really knew what the hell is going on. But, I don't which is ok. I guess it leaves a bit of suspense and hope in my life. Not that I'm suicidal or anything. Just hope for something else, you know? I bet Isound crazy, but I really don't give a flying cunt. That's right, a lfying cunt. Hm. That was quick witted I think. Oh well. My phone is a piece. I got a new computer and i love it. My new favorite word is yum-tastic, or sometimes just yummy. The person i love is yummy. Very yummy actually. But that's not why I am attracted to them... don't get me wrong, they're reall good looking, but that's not all. Smart, funny, and random. I guess you could say those are all the things i look for in someone. And they are definetly there, plus more. Though it does always help if you're yummy :D! I have a cut on my hand that is super annoying, and I am hoping it doesn't scar. Wild Horses just popped into my. No, Not Natasha Bedingfield, that song annoys me. SO does Unwritten, those damn morning announcements. Though, High School was fun. My hair is pretty much black now, and i kind of like it. It is very shiney as well, which is always a plus. Though, it fades, and i must dye it again sometime soon, and I think I might cut it off, though, there are a few people who know why I want to keep it long, LoL. Well, actually, i do like it long. It's never been this long before, so I think I might see if I can wait until Christmas and then hack it off before DMM. I want to look spicy, even though all the other spicies won't be there, except Miss Ashley Shaw that is. Hm, we shall see though. Shelley and I wanted to do fire red in my hair, but I'm not sure if we're still going to do that, I think if I do I'll have a pro do it. There is somthing i nthe ceiling herethat keeps making a scratching noise, and ever so often I get the feeling that it is Satan in the form of a possum coming to get me But oh well, i've been called the Devil's spawn before, so whatever. I'm really not that evil. Except, I kind of am, so oh well. Tricia called me a bitch today. I always thought of myself as more of an asshole or a bastard, even though I'm not a bastard, like, in the context of the word. Whatever. I just cracked my gum, according to Nina's CosmoStyle magazine, that would pretty much make me a skank, as well as the crotchless panties I have, except I'm kidding about the panties, but not the gum thing. Cracking your gum is supposedly a skanky way of getting someones attention. Whatever, I can't help it, I like to do it. So what if I crack my gum and blow bubbles,what else are you supposed to do with gum. Chew it, I know, but that's not the point. Gr.Wild Horses, here it comes again. Geez. i bought lots of new clothes about a month ago, and have only worn like, 1 of the shirts. I like new things, a little too much even. Gas has gotten cheaper, so that is good. My Aunt is supposed to be helping me get a job at Crittenton hospital in Rochester, hopefully I get it. I will also be helping Jenny coach Troy Athens dance team. Laura Jackawencko is on that, i knew her like 50 years ago... actually, I think it was like, 6, but who knows. She can jump rope through ehr arms. I wonder whatever happened to Brittany Buchanan. I liked her a lot, she was a cutie. And then she had to hum and fuck up Prima Ballerina Irina's Sugar Plum Fairy solo. Damnit Brittany. BBLGreen. Hm. I liked Marquee then too, that never went anywhere though. Oh well, always 2nd best. I wish I was more flexible, I did try and get more flexible, and I wish I could tumble. I want to take tumbling, I should too. I've also moved into Yaya's house, which is a blast. I like it a lot here, not that anything was wrong with home. Though I am having trouble sleeping, and when I say trouble i mean as in not being able to sleep until 6 AM. Hm. This is probably quite a bipolar LiveJournal entry, but I could care less. Give a flying cunt, yes, I know. Whatever, I got a lot of things off my mind and i probably will do this again very soon. My birthday is also tomorrow. The big 1-8. Woo hoo, I can legally buy porn, cigarette, and a lotto ticket. And get into club. Big baller, I know. Love you all, especially the yummy one. Hm :D