Junkie Chick Gone Nuts
That would be me.
Initially, I thought this obsessive need would fade with time. I’ve been blogging for over three years now and I don’t think the fading is going to happen any time soon. If anything, the more I blog, more often I see the ugly side of me.
As soon as I hit the post button on my LJ, the unrecognizably competitive monster in me awakes and takes up the job of counting the number of comments. My greed for comments in insatiable; it is almost as if the comments were currency and I needed more and more to be rich. I am in a crazed state when I hit F5 over and over again checking for the first comment. When it comes, a toxic mix of relief and joy engulfs me. However, this feeling does not last long. I am out of this blissful state shortly and am back to crazy button hitting. Really, I don’t even care what they say…as long as they leave a comment.
I confess that I have had vicious thoughts about my fellow LJ-ers on occasions when their not-so-fun post got more comments than my super cool one! I have spent long hours analyzing what kind of posts get more comments. Should I post more pictures? Should I make shorter, aptly-formatted posts? Should I invent a tragic childhood? Should I discuss the provocative hot topic?
I know I should detoxify myself by turning off comments. I will do that sometime. But right now, I want some more. It is such a cool feeling!
Initially, I thought this obsessive need would fade with time. I’ve been blogging for over three years now and I don’t think the fading is going to happen any time soon. If anything, the more I blog, more often I see the ugly side of me.
As soon as I hit the post button on my LJ, the unrecognizably competitive monster in me awakes and takes up the job of counting the number of comments. My greed for comments in insatiable; it is almost as if the comments were currency and I needed more and more to be rich. I am in a crazed state when I hit F5 over and over again checking for the first comment. When it comes, a toxic mix of relief and joy engulfs me. However, this feeling does not last long. I am out of this blissful state shortly and am back to crazy button hitting. Really, I don’t even care what they say…as long as they leave a comment.
I confess that I have had vicious thoughts about my fellow LJ-ers on occasions when their not-so-fun post got more comments than my super cool one! I have spent long hours analyzing what kind of posts get more comments. Should I post more pictures? Should I make shorter, aptly-formatted posts? Should I invent a tragic childhood? Should I discuss the provocative hot topic?
I know I should detoxify myself by turning off comments. I will do that sometime. But right now, I want some more. It is such a cool feeling!