Fic. Somebody loved
Title: Somebody loved
Pairing: John/Elizabeth
Rating: M
Warnings: graphic adult content
Spoilers: “Conversion”
Summary: If he could answer her question, right now, he'd tell her he didn't trust himself.
A/N: written for hihoplastic , as an almost belated b day present. Happy birthday, sweetie! Stay so awesome and kind. I hope you will enjoy this, despite the fact that it's self betaed and written in, like, forty minutes.
*
At first he didn't want it that way because his control wasn't really at its best - not this early in the relationship, if you could even call it that. Given that Elizabeth could work him up with a single look, he wasn't quite sure of himself when he saw her dropping to her knees while spreading his, but when he shifted on the couch, she just nudged him back.
"Just relax," she said, smiling teasingly, and he did his best to obey, but his body was still hard with tension. "What? Don't trust me?" she asked as she moved forward to reach his belt.
It was all so new and quite incredible and he couldn't stop grinning like a fool, but his heart was racing madly in his chest. John still couldn't exorcise the memory of his bluish, deformed hand grabbing Elizabeth's neck, and while he knew it wasn't him, but something violent and wild, it still didn't make him feel better.
So if he could answer her question - right now his brain was too worked up by the imagery of her long fingers unbuckling the massive belt buckle, and then dragging the zipper down - if he could, he'd tell her he didn't trust himself.
In the few months they've been lovers he got to know her intimately, and he knew she wasn't shy about sex. At all. For some reason he wasn't on the receiving end of oral sex that often - their encounters had a sense of urgency, that feeling of I - need - to - be - inside - of - you - now, and they rarely spent the nights together. Oral sex was usually a foreplay, he loved being inside of her too much and she didn't seem to mind.
Elizabeth nudged him and John lifted his hips, sucking in a breath. She pulled his pants down and dragged them to his knees. Her hands trailed up his thighs, fingers and palms sliding warmly over his muscles.
"You're so tense," she murmured gently, kissing the inside of his thigh. Elizabeth was many things in bed, she often let go of her usual guard and control, and John loved when he made her moan his name out loud; but she was rarely this gentle. “I want you to relax.”
Actually, it never was quite like this. He caught a glimmer in her eyes, and something shifted in his chest as she warmly grinned again. John bit a lip in a wordless consent before she pulled his boxers down and he was fully exposed.
“Elizabeth,” he breathed when her fingers rubbed his stomach and slid down, in between his lags, but not really touching him. He was already hard.
“Don't worry,” she said, her right hand wrapping around him. “It's okay.”
He closed his eyes and gasped - it was pretty much all he could do when he felt her mouth around him.
“Oh, God,” he murmured and leaned back his head. She started out slowly, caressing and rubbing and sucking him into her mouth in a steady, maddening rhythm. John blindly reached for a fistful of her curly hair, holding but not pulling or guiding her in any way. He was in no way in control of this, and with every minute, and every stroke of her tongue his grip on his reactions was diminishing.
“God. Elizabeth,” he panted, and she looked at him, stopping for a moment - eyes locked with his, while she still had his cock in her mouth, and the heat and tension spiraled down his legs, straight to his toes and up his spine, and then back into his crotch and he couldn't help but groan and thrust upwards. She let him, opening her mouth a little and closing her eyes. He made tiny sounds and needy gasps as he watched doing this to her, and she seemed to enjoy the fact that she was a cause of it all.
In his mind he could never see her as passive, not even sexually - even while she was panting under him; and couldn't imagine commanding her while she blew him; but this was definitely not it. This was completely her doing and as the realization sunk in he relaxed as she handled him according to her liking.
Her tongue swiped over the top and he gasped out loud. She repeated it, again and again, and then slid her tongue down him, holding him firmly in place and he was practically begging. He needed to come, and at the same time didn't want to. However, all tension inevitably led to a release and nothing could be pent up and kept inside forever. His attempts for control shattered, just a moment after he tried to issue a warning, telling Elizabeth what he needed. She let him come into her mouth as he held onto the soft material of the couch, trying in vain to keep the control over his body.
John closed his eyes after he'd seen her swallow, panting heavily as his body turned warm and heavy. Moments later a kiss on his lips made him open his eyes and look at her. Elizabeth was always aware of her choices, and he knew she would never let him do something she didn't feel comfortable with.
John also knew, clearly, he would never do it himself.
He looked at her as she pulled her shirt over her head and he was graced with the sight of her breasts. When his hands moved automatically to cup them, he thought about asking her to forgive him - again - his behavior while he was under the influence of the virus was still bothering him. As he looked at her arch into his touch and close her eyes, John realized that she had probably forgiven him even before he could think of asking.
Almost religiously he kissed her breast, pulling a tender nipple into his mouth. Her flesh was warm and soft, and how she could trust him so completely - why she did - was sometimes beyond his comprehension. Elizabeth moaned and her hands slid down for her pants as she sought out the buttons and pushed her everything she still had on down her hips.
John's fingers found wetness between her legs and she moaned as he touched her. He didn't consider himself a very wise man, but he was definitely smart enough to know that blessings shouldn't be questioned. If there wasn't for her, not giving up on him - not only this time, but so many times - he probably wouldn't have lived very long. John touched her with one hand and gave himself a few strokes with the other, but mere anticipation of the familiar feeling of her body, her voice, her smell did the trick and he was reasonably hard again.
Elizabeth eased down on him slowly as his hands settled on her hips. He rubbed her back encountering tense muscles on his path. Nudging her forward and lifting her ass a little he adjusted their angle to gain more control, and she didn't seem to protest.
“You seem so tense, 'Lizbeth,” he murmured into her ear, spreading her carefully before he started pushing up and into her. She closed her eyes and moaned into the crook of his neck, and for the time being, everything was right in the world. John smiled, feeling a lot more content as he spoke, “Let me help you relax.”