is this the end...

[anumboasis]

you make it so easy to hate me.
just to get by.
but if you truely cared for me you would see that i was not trying to hurt you.
the lie was a lie to everyone.
something that is taboo and that can never happen.
i felt like i cheated on you.
like i betrayed our relationship.
i can't control my feelings.
and the truth could not be said.
for your sake and for the sake of those i love dearly.
how dare you try to fucking hurt me by saying what you knew would.
when your down why bring everyone down with you.
i'm sorry that i've caused you pain.
but please know that was not my goal.
i am sad to say that i loved you as a could.
i'm sorry that it wasn't enough for you or what you wanted.
hating me for not being in love with you is not fair.
but do as you wish as we all dig our own graves.
i'm sorry that i'm "not worth it" for you.
i'm sorry that i hurt you.
please know that i love you and that i always will.
for that's what friendship is: loving someone so unconditionally that no matter what happens you cannot wear out that love or forgiveness.
my feelings for the someone have no bearing on my feelings for you.
nor are they the cause of my feelings for you.
i wish you could see that i mean well.
that i love you.
that i'll always be here for you.
that i want to be your FRIEND.
i cannot give you more.
or less.
from day one i have told you so.
i have never led you to believe that i could give you anymore.
yes you held me so tightly.
you gave me so much love.
you cared so deeply.
you kissed so passionately.
i thank you for feeling as though i deserved this.
it is greatly appreciated.
but just because you loved me so does not mean that i can as well.
i can love you only as much as i can.
i'm sorry that that wasn't enough for you.
i'm sorry that i tried so hard to make things right.
i'm sorry that you see me as a pile of lies.
i'm sorry that i hurt you.
i'm sorry that you can't see who i really am.
i'm sorry.