Posting this here because I'm scared it will get deleted from FB
Just posting a bit-of-an-essay response to a slightly aggressive FB conversation in which a friend argued that he hated how everyone who opposes marriage equality is labelled a homophobe, and it's become a witch hunt.
If I suddenly drop off livejournal forevermore, then realistically you will all probably suppose I've become anti-social again, given my track record of LJ attendance. But I'm hoping at least one of you will remember this post and consider me a martyr for the cause, lol.
The politics in discussion is specifically the fucked up world of Australian politics. Fucked up beyond words guys, like, seriously, my nation's politics gives me almost more *headdesks* and *facepalms* and IDEKs than I can handle and still trudge on through life surrounded by idiots.
So, here we go. My rants. Guaranteed to offend, yo.
[Does being anti-marriage equality make you homophobic?]Ok, I see where you're coming from on some of those points, and I do pretty much agree that the marriage equality debate isn't being treated seriously enough, or with consideration of the real issues and the real people, I think for politicians at least it is definitely primarily just a tool for netting votes, and they'll cast their line wherever they think they'll get the most bites. In that way, definitely the debate at the top level is a bit of a joke, because the arguments the politicians are using to justify whether they do or don't support marriage equality are total lies. That is, they are using the arguments and points that are discussed over and over again by everyone, but everyone knows a politician (broad generalisation, but mostly true and especially around election time) doesn't support or reject a political issue or line because of their own beliefs or the beliefs of the people they supposedly represent - politicians say whatever they have to say to support the action they think will get them the most votes. Truly is a bit of a game (of thrones, lol) to them.
THIS NEXT BIT IS MOST LIKELY GOING TO OFFEND PEOPLE. So avert your eyes if anyone is likely to be offended by my EXTREMELY LEFT-WING and NOT CONSERVATIVE AT ALL views. But I'm still putting this out there because I think this is the stuff that society needs to stop pansying around with, and it is conversations we need to have with our friends, because we need to get involved with how our society is going to be shaped for and in the future, and I want my friends to be standing with me when we knock down the barriers of inequality. I want my friends voices to be raised with mine when we call out on the discrimination in society and demand that people do better. But if you have a sensitive constitution or you're not sure you can handle my views, don't read this. I'm not inciting war, but I am inciting analysis and self-reflection. (Someone a little more lowbrow than myself (lol) might call this flinging poo then ducking for cover. This also works, except I firmly believe that I am justified in the poo-flinging. Mind your head.)
Last chance to bail, guys. Here be dragons.
DOES BEING ANTI-MARRIAGE EQUALITY MAKE YOU HOMOPHOBIC?
When I started writing this response I intended to simply write that I believed that being anti-marriage equality wasn't homophobic per se, but was a form of discrimination. But then I sat down and actually thought quite hard about what constituted "homophobia". What actions fall under the banner of homophobia - is it just about fear? What word, then, do we use when we want to call people out on an irrational hatred or prejudice against LGBT people, if "homophobia" doesn't apply?
This topic is something I had to really think about, because obviously I have LGBT friends who are mutual friends with people who are anti-marriage equality. Can you be a homophobe if you are friends with non-heterosexuals? This reminds me of the old trope, "I'm not racist, some of my best friends are black." Obviously it's an imperfect analogy, but what I wanted to show was that we know that having friends of a different race doesn't preclude you from being a racist.
I think the word "homophobe" is a very charged word. It's like "racist". A bad, bad, no good word. It's like pointing a gun loaded with shit. (Avoid at all cost! Think of the "gunpowder residue" that would be left on your own hands!) But the meaning of homophobia is: "IRRATIONAL FEAR OF, AVERSION TO, OR DISCRIMINATION AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY OR HOMOSEXUALS". Homophobia isn't about having a "phobia" of LGBT people, although it certainly may include that. "Homophobia" is the "racism" of sexuality and gender. So whilst we easily understand that you don't have to be scared of different races to be a racist, so to should we understand that homophobia encompasses discriminatory behaviour on the basis of sexuality and gendering and doesn't necessitate a fear or phobia component.
So, to compare: not allowing interracial marriage v. not allowing LGBT marriage. I think it's pretty much accepted in society that it is unspeakably racist to not allow black people to marry white people (and all other permutations of races and skin colourings). There was originally a law against interracial marriage because white people feared, hated and generally thought themselves superior to the other races. And then our views changed, and society realised what dumb fucks we had been, and that everyone was equal regardless of the colour of their skin or their racial heritage. And society realised how terrible it was to discriminate on the basis of race and to deny people the rights that those with the sheer dumb luck of being born into the power-wielding majority considered their basic human rights. Tada, the laws prohibiting mixed-race marriages were struck down. (Of course this is a major oversimplification, but the point is still valid.)
How does this compare to marriage equality? Well, basically I don't think you can say you consider someone your equal when you simultaneously deny them the rights you unquestioningly enjoy. By an accident of birth or genetics or whatever, I was born straight. This gives me the good fortune of being able to love a guy. But some people are born black and some people are born with red hair and some people are born deaf and some people are born lesbian (which gives them the good fortune of being able to love a girl). None of these people is superior to any other. Yet a girl who falls in love with a girl is unable to marry her BECAUSE her partner is the same sex. So this girl would be legally discriminated against on the basis of her sexuality. WAIT, WHAT? DISCRIMINATION ON THE BASIS OF HER BEING A HOMOSEXUAL? I'm pretty sure that's textbook homophobia, according to the definition above.
So yeah, in conclusion (and well done if anyone has actually read this far down), if "homophobia" is to sexuality as "racism" is to racial heritage, then any prejudice and discrimination against a person or peoples on the basis of non-heteronormative sexuality is homophobic, just as the same treatment on the basis of race would be racist. I always used to say that opposing marriage equality was "discrimination", perhaps because that word was easier to stomach, and doesn't kick you in the face quite so much. But here's my loaded gun stuffed full of faeces: to oppose marriage equality is to be a homophobe. I'm not saying that people who act in homophobic ways are bad or evil people. I'm not saying that being homophobic and having and caring for LGBT friends and family members are mutually exclusive. What I am saying is that I believe that to discriminate on the basis of sexuality, as in the case of all those that oppose marriage equality, is to act and think in a way that is homophobic.
If under this definition I have labelled anyone who reads this post as a homophobe, then cheer up, it's never too late to amend your ways! Besides, some of my best friends are homophobes! (And everyone needs a project, don't they? )
P.S. That last paragraph was an attempt to inject humour into an otherwise grim post. If people get upset at me over that paragraph out of the whole post, then I'm clearly doing something very wrong
Over and out, Lira.
If I suddenly drop off livejournal forevermore, then realistically you will all probably suppose I've become anti-social again, given my track record of LJ attendance. But I'm hoping at least one of you will remember this post and consider me a martyr for the cause, lol.
The politics in discussion is specifically the fucked up world of Australian politics. Fucked up beyond words guys, like, seriously, my nation's politics gives me almost more *headdesks* and *facepalms* and IDEKs than I can handle and still trudge on through life surrounded by idiots.
So, here we go. My rants. Guaranteed to offend, yo.
[Does being anti-marriage equality make you homophobic?]Ok, I see where you're coming from on some of those points, and I do pretty much agree that the marriage equality debate isn't being treated seriously enough, or with consideration of the real issues and the real people, I think for politicians at least it is definitely primarily just a tool for netting votes, and they'll cast their line wherever they think they'll get the most bites. In that way, definitely the debate at the top level is a bit of a joke, because the arguments the politicians are using to justify whether they do or don't support marriage equality are total lies. That is, they are using the arguments and points that are discussed over and over again by everyone, but everyone knows a politician (broad generalisation, but mostly true and especially around election time) doesn't support or reject a political issue or line because of their own beliefs or the beliefs of the people they supposedly represent - politicians say whatever they have to say to support the action they think will get them the most votes. Truly is a bit of a game (of thrones, lol) to them.
THIS NEXT BIT IS MOST LIKELY GOING TO OFFEND PEOPLE. So avert your eyes if anyone is likely to be offended by my EXTREMELY LEFT-WING and NOT CONSERVATIVE AT ALL views. But I'm still putting this out there because I think this is the stuff that society needs to stop pansying around with, and it is conversations we need to have with our friends, because we need to get involved with how our society is going to be shaped for and in the future, and I want my friends to be standing with me when we knock down the barriers of inequality. I want my friends voices to be raised with mine when we call out on the discrimination in society and demand that people do better. But if you have a sensitive constitution or you're not sure you can handle my views, don't read this. I'm not inciting war, but I am inciting analysis and self-reflection. (Someone a little more lowbrow than myself (lol) might call this flinging poo then ducking for cover. This also works, except I firmly believe that I am justified in the poo-flinging. Mind your head.)
Last chance to bail, guys. Here be dragons.
DOES BEING ANTI-MARRIAGE EQUALITY MAKE YOU HOMOPHOBIC?
When I started writing this response I intended to simply write that I believed that being anti-marriage equality wasn't homophobic per se, but was a form of discrimination. But then I sat down and actually thought quite hard about what constituted "homophobia". What actions fall under the banner of homophobia - is it just about fear? What word, then, do we use when we want to call people out on an irrational hatred or prejudice against LGBT people, if "homophobia" doesn't apply?
This topic is something I had to really think about, because obviously I have LGBT friends who are mutual friends with people who are anti-marriage equality. Can you be a homophobe if you are friends with non-heterosexuals? This reminds me of the old trope, "I'm not racist, some of my best friends are black." Obviously it's an imperfect analogy, but what I wanted to show was that we know that having friends of a different race doesn't preclude you from being a racist.
I think the word "homophobe" is a very charged word. It's like "racist". A bad, bad, no good word. It's like pointing a gun loaded with shit. (Avoid at all cost! Think of the "gunpowder residue" that would be left on your own hands!) But the meaning of homophobia is: "IRRATIONAL FEAR OF, AVERSION TO, OR DISCRIMINATION AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY OR HOMOSEXUALS". Homophobia isn't about having a "phobia" of LGBT people, although it certainly may include that. "Homophobia" is the "racism" of sexuality and gender. So whilst we easily understand that you don't have to be scared of different races to be a racist, so to should we understand that homophobia encompasses discriminatory behaviour on the basis of sexuality and gendering and doesn't necessitate a fear or phobia component.
So, to compare: not allowing interracial marriage v. not allowing LGBT marriage. I think it's pretty much accepted in society that it is unspeakably racist to not allow black people to marry white people (and all other permutations of races and skin colourings). There was originally a law against interracial marriage because white people feared, hated and generally thought themselves superior to the other races. And then our views changed, and society realised what dumb fucks we had been, and that everyone was equal regardless of the colour of their skin or their racial heritage. And society realised how terrible it was to discriminate on the basis of race and to deny people the rights that those with the sheer dumb luck of being born into the power-wielding majority considered their basic human rights. Tada, the laws prohibiting mixed-race marriages were struck down. (Of course this is a major oversimplification, but the point is still valid.)
How does this compare to marriage equality? Well, basically I don't think you can say you consider someone your equal when you simultaneously deny them the rights you unquestioningly enjoy. By an accident of birth or genetics or whatever, I was born straight. This gives me the good fortune of being able to love a guy. But some people are born black and some people are born with red hair and some people are born deaf and some people are born lesbian (which gives them the good fortune of being able to love a girl). None of these people is superior to any other. Yet a girl who falls in love with a girl is unable to marry her BECAUSE her partner is the same sex. So this girl would be legally discriminated against on the basis of her sexuality. WAIT, WHAT? DISCRIMINATION ON THE BASIS OF HER BEING A HOMOSEXUAL? I'm pretty sure that's textbook homophobia, according to the definition above.
So yeah, in conclusion (and well done if anyone has actually read this far down), if "homophobia" is to sexuality as "racism" is to racial heritage, then any prejudice and discrimination against a person or peoples on the basis of non-heteronormative sexuality is homophobic, just as the same treatment on the basis of race would be racist. I always used to say that opposing marriage equality was "discrimination", perhaps because that word was easier to stomach, and doesn't kick you in the face quite so much. But here's my loaded gun stuffed full of faeces: to oppose marriage equality is to be a homophobe. I'm not saying that people who act in homophobic ways are bad or evil people. I'm not saying that being homophobic and having and caring for LGBT friends and family members are mutually exclusive. What I am saying is that I believe that to discriminate on the basis of sexuality, as in the case of all those that oppose marriage equality, is to act and think in a way that is homophobic.
If under this definition I have labelled anyone who reads this post as a homophobe, then cheer up, it's never too late to amend your ways! Besides, some of my best friends are homophobes! (And everyone needs a project, don't they? )
P.S. That last paragraph was an attempt to inject humour into an otherwise grim post. If people get upset at me over that paragraph out of the whole post, then I'm clearly doing something very wrong
Over and out, Lira.