Big Machine (2013 DCBB) - Part 3
Title: Big Machine
Author: Anubis_S_J
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural, AU
Pairing(s): Dean Smith/Castiel Novak
Rating: R
Word Count: 11,076
Warnings: Minor drug use
Summary: Dean Smith is an intelligent, successful businessman who is perfectly content with his life the way it is. That is, until he meets Castiel Novak. Castiel is strange and unlike anyone Dean has ever met before, but he can't help but be drawn to him.
Part 3
Dean was seated at his usual cafe with his cousin, a dark-haired woman by the name of Tessa. He was sipping at his coffee, listening to her tell stories about things that had happened to her since they last time they got to see each other. She started talking about a guy she had met while on vacation, a large grin on her face as she described him.
“I just really like being with him, just listening to him talk. I don’t suppose you’d know what that’s like, would you Dean?” Dean shrugged, and Tessa’s eyes widened. “You do have someone, don’t you?” Tessa caught the smile that was slowly forming on Dean’s lips. She couldn’t help but grin herself, noticing the way Dean was practically lighting up despite his best efforts not to. “Tell me! I’d like to know about them.” Dean was shaking his head no, but all that earned him was a playful slap to the arm from Tessa.
“Ow, don’t hit me! It’s, it’s not like that... I mean... it’s really complicated.” Tessa fixed him with a stern glare, clearly not taking that as an acceptable answer. Dean tried to stare her down, but had to look away, the corner of his mouth still twitching as he attempted to keep himself from smiling. “Look, it’s... Cas, uh, he and I--”
“‘He’?” Tessa’s eyes had gone wide again, and her expression was mildly incredulous. “Seriously?”
“Uh... Yeah...” Dean cleared his throat and turned his head away, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. “It’s weird, right? If you don’t wanna talk about this anymore--”
“No. Uh-uh, you don’t get out of this.” Tessa shook her head. “It’s really not that weird, I promise. Don’t freak out on me, I still wanna hear all about your man.”
Dean cringed, but then decided to shrug it all off. If Tessa wasn’t going to make a big deal out of the whole ‘guy thing’, he wasn’t going to either. “Alright. Like I was saying, it’s complicated. I don’t even know if we’re in a real relationship. I mean, I can’t really call him my boyfriend, and wow, how weird does that sound? But we’re not just friends with benefits, either. It’s more than that. I think so, anyway.”
Tessa was smiling warmly, and she leaned closer and put her hand on Dean’s arm. “You really care about him, don’t you?”
Dean’s eyes went soft, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, yeah I do.”
“Dean, that’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you.” Tessa pressed a kiss to Dean’s cheek then. “I would love to meet him before I leave.”
Dean chuckled, absently placing his hand over Tessa’s. “I’m not so sure about that. Cas is... he’s different. Definitely different. Although, now that I think about it...” Dean straightened up, starting to look around himself. “I’m a little surprised he’s not already here. We usually meet here for lunch.” He leaned back in his chair, craning his neck. He was about to face forward again, when he caught sight of who he was looking for. He grinned, and started to wave Cas over, but the expression on the other man’s face was thunderous. His smile faded and his brows knitted together in concern. He started to get out of his seat and go check on Cas, but he took off. Staring at where Cas had been, Dean slowly sat back down. “That was him... Something’s wrong...”
Tessa was looking behind her, but Cas had already left before she could really get a look at him. “Do you need to leave?”
“Uh, no. I don’t think I could catch him. I’ll have to wait and call him later, he doesn’t have a cell...” Dean looked back behind him again, worry etched into his features.
Dean was thoroughly worried, and more than a little pissed off by the time he finally tracked down Cas. He found him outside of a coffee place, sitting with some brunet guy in a button-up. "Cas, what the Hell?" Dean glared at Cas, steadfastly trying to ignore the guy who was decidedly sitting way too close to the other man for him to be comfortable with. "I've been trying to call you for like a week. I even went over to your place once. Do you have any idea how much of a creep I felt like?"
The guy who was sitting with Cas fidgeted nervously. "Uh, should I go?" He was staring at Dean with a sort of distant horror, occasionally flicking his eyes over to glance at Cas.
"No, you can stay." Cas smiled at the other man, and reached out to gently place a hand on the back of his head. Dean's eyes went wide at the action. "I don't think Mr. Smith will be sticking around much longer." Cas leaned in closer to the guy, then gave Dean a very pointed look, like his presence was bothering him.
Dean felt like he had been punched in the gut, and he struggled to catch his breath. Cas was with some new guy, and treating Dean like a stranger. Like he didn't want him anymore.
Oh God.
Cas didn't want him anymore.
Dean covered his mouth to keep from making any embarrassing sounds or saying something stupid. He turned away as he felt his eyes start to sting, and then he ran. He needed to get somewhere private, and far away from Castiel.
Dean stopped going to his favorite cafe, just in case. He deleted Cas’s number from his phone. A few items from around his apartment were packed into a small box and shoved into his closet. He went back to focusing on his work. The only thing that got in the way of this was Sam, who was kind enough to not interrogate him about what had happened, but wouldn’t let him just disappear inside his own head either. He was grateful for Sam.
He tried not to think about Castiel. He didn’t want to think about Castiel. Thinking about Castiel hurt.
Naturally, he found himself bumping into Castiel. Almost literally. He had been looking down at his phone, typing a new event into his calendar, and just barely caught sight of a pair of legs that were too close. He stopped just in time to avoid running into the other person, and when he looked up, he suddenly found it very hard to breath. Castiel was also looking up at the same time, taking out an earbud. They just stared at each other for a moment, but then Castiel’s lips curled into a very unfriendly grin.
“Hello, Dean. You look well.”
Dean snorted. “Yeah, sure. So do you. I take it, uh...” Dean tried to tell himself to shut up, that he really didn’t want to know. It didn’t work. “So I take it you and what’s-his-face are okay then?”
Castiel’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment, before his face went blank. There was something like anger in his eyes, though. “Oh, don’t get all high and mighty on me, Dean. Hypocrisy doesn’t suit you.”
It was Dean’s turn to be confused. “Cas, what the hell are you talking about?”
Castiel rolled his eyes, did a weird half-turn with his body, then sighed and looked back at Dean. “I’m talking about that girl you were with! The one with the dark hair.” He crossed his arms, and turned away from Dean, looking every bit like he was pouting. “I get it, she’s definitely more your type. I just... wish you would’ve told me.”
Dean was really, seriously confused. He had no idea who Castiel was talking about. The only woman he had spent any time with was-- “Jesus, Cas, are you talking about Tessa?!”
“I don’t know her na--”
“She’s my cousin, you moron!”
Castiel looked like he had been slapped. “Your... cousin?”
“Yeah, Cas. My cousin. She lives in Hawaii so I get to see her maybe once every other year. She had just gotten into town, so we were having lunch. In fact, I was going to introduce you guys. She wanted to meet you.” Castiel mouthed the word “fuck” and brought a hand up over his eyes. “Yeah, now you get it, don’t you? Look, I know you don’t trust anyone, but... God, Cas, how could you think that about me?!”
Castiel looked up, eyes wide and apologetic. “Dean...”
“No! Save it!” Dean didn’t care. He was livid. “You should’ve at least asked me. Instead you decide to go fuck around, and... and... Cas. There could never be anyone else...” He deflated then, all the anger rushing out of him, leaving a cold, empty feeling behind. His eyes were stinging.
Castiel looked like he was feeling much the same way. “I’m sorr--”
“Don’t! I don’t want to hear it! I’m--” Dean sucked in a deep breath. “I’m done with you. You got what you wanted.” With that, he turned and walked away. He didn’t know where he was going to go, but he wanted to be far the hell away from Cas.
Dean knew his and Cas’s relationship was weird. Most days he didn’t even know how they functioned, they just did, and that was all that mattered to him. Dean knew Cas had trust issues the size of a planet, but he never thought he’d just toss him aside over a stupid misunderstanding. Dean conceded that maybe he really didn’t know Cas after all. That thought hurt the most. He had opened himself up to Cas, and it all blew up in his face.
Dean couldn’t even count all the missed calls he had from Cas. He didn’t care. He was mad, and he wasn’t going to stop being mad any time soon. Better to just completely cut Cas out, and wait until the other man finally got the hint and left him alone, too.
It was almost four in the morning, and Dean had finally, finally fallen asleep when his phone started going off. Muttering unpleasant things into his pillow, he reached over to grab the phone, then answered it without looking at the number. “‘Lo?”
“Dean...?”
Dammit! “Th’ hell d’you want, Cas?”
The other end of the line was quiet, save for the sound of breathing. “I... Dean. There was never anyone else for me either.” Cas got the words out in a rush, voice somewhat slurred, then abruptly hung up.
Dean stared at his phone for a long, long time. “Goddammit,” he muttered, before jolting out of bed.
“Cas! Cas, open the damn door!” Dean was pounding on Cas’s front door, not caring if the other man had been asleep or not.
Cas finally answered the door, looking like a complete mess. His hair was going in every direction, there were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, and he was only wearing a pair of boxers. He did seem to brighten when he realized who was on the other side. “Dean?”
Dean froze. He had no idea what to say. So he decided to act instead, grabbing Cas up much the same way when this whole thing started between them and kissed him hard.
Cas giggled against his mouth. “Didn’t we already do this?”
“Jesus Christ, are you ever not stoned?” Dean ground out before kissing him again.
“Haven’t been since, uh. For a while now.” Cas was still trying to talk between kisses, even as he wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck.
Dean finally pulled back, breathless, but feeling happiness creep in. “Can we just agree we’re both stupid this time?”
Cas nodded. “Yes. I think we can.” He chuckled, and pressed his forehead to Dean’s. “You are ridiculous, Dean Winchester.”
Dean jolted, frowning at Cas. “Cas, that’s... not my last name. I thought you would know that by now.”
Cas tilted his head. “Yes it is. Your name’s Smith. Right?”
Dean opened his mouth to speak, when he was suddenly hit with an awful realization. “Oh God. No. No, no! Not again!”
“Dean? Dean, what’s wrong?!”
Dean’s eyes went wide, and he stared at Cas with a sort of horror. “It’s not real. None of this is real! No, Cas, I’m so sorry!”
Cas’s eyes were wide and scared, and he was gripping Dean’s shoulders too tightly. “Dean, I don’t understand! What are you talking about?! You’re scaring me!”
Dean reached up to hold Cas’s face, and kissed him again. “I’m so sorry. Cas, I just want you to know, I love you, okay?! No matter what I do!” Everything was already fading around him. He could hear Cas talking, but he couldn’t make out the words. His world was turning black.
“Dean! Dean, talk to me! Dean!”
Dean gasped, reaching out and grabbing onto someone’s shoulder. He blinked several times until the blurred figure hovering over him came into focus. “Oh, God, Sam!” He tried to catch his breath, even as he reach up with his other arm so he could pull Sam closer to him. “It wasn’t real! Sammy, none of it was real...”
“Hey, Dean, calm down.” Sam wrapped his arms around his older brother as well, as pulled him up into a sitting position. “It’s okay, Dean. You’re safe now.”
Dean moaned, and buried his face in Sam’s neck. “No, Sam, you don’t understand! It felt so real, and, and, fuck! I don’t even know if I want it to be or not...”
“Alright, Dean. We’ll talk about in a bit, but let’s get out of here first. Okay?” Dean nodded, and Sam help him to his feet. With one of Dean’s arms slung over Sam’s shoulders, and one of his own around Dean’s waist, they walked away together.
Dean was sitting across from Sam at a tiny hotel table, nursing a cup of coffee. “What the hell happened exactly, anyway?”
Sam shrugged. “It was a witch. I know, I know, your favorite. As far as I can tell, she put some kind of sleeping spell on you. Said you were safe, told me where she was keeping you in exchange for letting her go-- Don’t even give me that look, Dean.” Dean had been working himself into a truly epic glare, but he rolled his eyes instead and settled into something that looked like a pout. “What... What happened to you, Dean? When I found you, you were...” Sam gestured helplessly, giving Dean a sympathetic look.
“It was stupid,” Dean muttered. Sam gave him a look that clearly indicated he should keep talking. “I was caught in one of those stupid dream world things again, like with a Djinn. It was... Okay, you remember when that asshole Zachariah trapped us in that bizarro business world?” Sam nodded. “Well, that’s... what I was dreaming about. I was Dean Smith again.”
“What, really?” Sam snorted. “Sounds like a nightmare.”
Dean shrugged. “Not really. You were there. You seemed happy. And... Cas was there, too. Sort of.”
“What does ‘soft of’ mean?”
“It means... well... Okay, that wasn’t the only time Zachy messed with me like that, and uh... I should... probably explain the whole thing, huh?”
Dean spent the next couple of hours explaining everything to Sam, telling him all about the horrible future Zachariah had shown him all those years ago, and how it influenced the Cas from his dreams. He told him about the life he had lived as Dean Smith, about how he had befriended Sam Wesson, and his relationship with Cas. Down to trying to tell the dream Cas that he loved him.
Sam’s eyes were wide, and his mouth was hanging slightly open. “You. And Cas. Really?”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, I know, Sam. Weird, right?” He tried to smile, but it wasn’t working. “Stupid thing is, I... I think I really do. I mean. It’s Cas, you know? Nevermind. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
Sam was smiling at him, though. “I think you should tell him.”
Dean’s head snapped over to gape at him. “Sam. No. This whole thing was stupid. I’m just going to forget about it, okay?”
“Dean. Call Cas, or I’m going to do it for you.” Sam gave him a stern glare.
“Dammit, Sam, I’m not--”
“Dean!” Both brothers looked over to see Cas standing in the middle of their hotel room. He was staring at Dean, eyes wide, and filled with relief. “Dean, I’m glad you’re alright. I was looking for you on the other side of town, and I came to check in with Sam, and...” He narrowed his eyes then, not quite glaring. “Why didn’t anyone tell me you were safe.”
“That doesn’t matter right now!” Sam said, shooting to his feet. “Dean here actually has something else to tell you. Don’t you, Dean?” Dean was glaring daggers, but Sam didn’t seem phased. “And on that note, I’m going to leave you two alone to talk it out.”
“Sam! Sam get back here!” Dean started to chase after his brother, but the younger man was already out the door. “Fuck...”
“What did you need to talk to me about, Dean?” Dean turned around to face Cas, and his breath caught in his throat. It finally hit him, this was the real Cas, standing right there in front of him. His chest ached, his hands itched to touch him, and he knew he couldn’t just forget about this after all.
Dean stepped forward, until he was right in Cas’s space. Familiar. Safe. “Cas, look, I...” He reached out, setting a hand on Cas’s shoulder. He was at a complete loss for words. But then, he had been before, right? Taking in a deep, steady breath, Dean put his other hand on Cas’s jaw, and leaned forward to kiss him lightly.
Cas sighed against Dean’s lips, and pressed closer. Tentatively, he brought his hands up to rest on Dean’s waist. “Dean...”
Dean pulled back slightly, eyes roaming over Cas’s face. “This... this is okay with you?”
Cas smiled. “Of course it is Dean. How could you ever think it wouldn’t be?”
Dean grinned, and leaned in to kiss Cas again.
Author: Anubis_S_J
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural, AU
Pairing(s): Dean Smith/Castiel Novak
Rating: R
Word Count: 11,076
Warnings: Minor drug use
Summary: Dean Smith is an intelligent, successful businessman who is perfectly content with his life the way it is. That is, until he meets Castiel Novak. Castiel is strange and unlike anyone Dean has ever met before, but he can't help but be drawn to him.
Part 3
Dean was seated at his usual cafe with his cousin, a dark-haired woman by the name of Tessa. He was sipping at his coffee, listening to her tell stories about things that had happened to her since they last time they got to see each other. She started talking about a guy she had met while on vacation, a large grin on her face as she described him.
“I just really like being with him, just listening to him talk. I don’t suppose you’d know what that’s like, would you Dean?” Dean shrugged, and Tessa’s eyes widened. “You do have someone, don’t you?” Tessa caught the smile that was slowly forming on Dean’s lips. She couldn’t help but grin herself, noticing the way Dean was practically lighting up despite his best efforts not to. “Tell me! I’d like to know about them.” Dean was shaking his head no, but all that earned him was a playful slap to the arm from Tessa.
“Ow, don’t hit me! It’s, it’s not like that... I mean... it’s really complicated.” Tessa fixed him with a stern glare, clearly not taking that as an acceptable answer. Dean tried to stare her down, but had to look away, the corner of his mouth still twitching as he attempted to keep himself from smiling. “Look, it’s... Cas, uh, he and I--”
“‘He’?” Tessa’s eyes had gone wide again, and her expression was mildly incredulous. “Seriously?”
“Uh... Yeah...” Dean cleared his throat and turned his head away, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. “It’s weird, right? If you don’t wanna talk about this anymore--”
“No. Uh-uh, you don’t get out of this.” Tessa shook her head. “It’s really not that weird, I promise. Don’t freak out on me, I still wanna hear all about your man.”
Dean cringed, but then decided to shrug it all off. If Tessa wasn’t going to make a big deal out of the whole ‘guy thing’, he wasn’t going to either. “Alright. Like I was saying, it’s complicated. I don’t even know if we’re in a real relationship. I mean, I can’t really call him my boyfriend, and wow, how weird does that sound? But we’re not just friends with benefits, either. It’s more than that. I think so, anyway.”
Tessa was smiling warmly, and she leaned closer and put her hand on Dean’s arm. “You really care about him, don’t you?”
Dean’s eyes went soft, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, yeah I do.”
“Dean, that’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you.” Tessa pressed a kiss to Dean’s cheek then. “I would love to meet him before I leave.”
Dean chuckled, absently placing his hand over Tessa’s. “I’m not so sure about that. Cas is... he’s different. Definitely different. Although, now that I think about it...” Dean straightened up, starting to look around himself. “I’m a little surprised he’s not already here. We usually meet here for lunch.” He leaned back in his chair, craning his neck. He was about to face forward again, when he caught sight of who he was looking for. He grinned, and started to wave Cas over, but the expression on the other man’s face was thunderous. His smile faded and his brows knitted together in concern. He started to get out of his seat and go check on Cas, but he took off. Staring at where Cas had been, Dean slowly sat back down. “That was him... Something’s wrong...”
Tessa was looking behind her, but Cas had already left before she could really get a look at him. “Do you need to leave?”
“Uh, no. I don’t think I could catch him. I’ll have to wait and call him later, he doesn’t have a cell...” Dean looked back behind him again, worry etched into his features.
Dean was thoroughly worried, and more than a little pissed off by the time he finally tracked down Cas. He found him outside of a coffee place, sitting with some brunet guy in a button-up. "Cas, what the Hell?" Dean glared at Cas, steadfastly trying to ignore the guy who was decidedly sitting way too close to the other man for him to be comfortable with. "I've been trying to call you for like a week. I even went over to your place once. Do you have any idea how much of a creep I felt like?"
The guy who was sitting with Cas fidgeted nervously. "Uh, should I go?" He was staring at Dean with a sort of distant horror, occasionally flicking his eyes over to glance at Cas.
"No, you can stay." Cas smiled at the other man, and reached out to gently place a hand on the back of his head. Dean's eyes went wide at the action. "I don't think Mr. Smith will be sticking around much longer." Cas leaned in closer to the guy, then gave Dean a very pointed look, like his presence was bothering him.
Dean felt like he had been punched in the gut, and he struggled to catch his breath. Cas was with some new guy, and treating Dean like a stranger. Like he didn't want him anymore.
Oh God.
Cas didn't want him anymore.
Dean covered his mouth to keep from making any embarrassing sounds or saying something stupid. He turned away as he felt his eyes start to sting, and then he ran. He needed to get somewhere private, and far away from Castiel.
Dean stopped going to his favorite cafe, just in case. He deleted Cas’s number from his phone. A few items from around his apartment were packed into a small box and shoved into his closet. He went back to focusing on his work. The only thing that got in the way of this was Sam, who was kind enough to not interrogate him about what had happened, but wouldn’t let him just disappear inside his own head either. He was grateful for Sam.
He tried not to think about Castiel. He didn’t want to think about Castiel. Thinking about Castiel hurt.
Naturally, he found himself bumping into Castiel. Almost literally. He had been looking down at his phone, typing a new event into his calendar, and just barely caught sight of a pair of legs that were too close. He stopped just in time to avoid running into the other person, and when he looked up, he suddenly found it very hard to breath. Castiel was also looking up at the same time, taking out an earbud. They just stared at each other for a moment, but then Castiel’s lips curled into a very unfriendly grin.
“Hello, Dean. You look well.”
Dean snorted. “Yeah, sure. So do you. I take it, uh...” Dean tried to tell himself to shut up, that he really didn’t want to know. It didn’t work. “So I take it you and what’s-his-face are okay then?”
Castiel’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment, before his face went blank. There was something like anger in his eyes, though. “Oh, don’t get all high and mighty on me, Dean. Hypocrisy doesn’t suit you.”
It was Dean’s turn to be confused. “Cas, what the hell are you talking about?”
Castiel rolled his eyes, did a weird half-turn with his body, then sighed and looked back at Dean. “I’m talking about that girl you were with! The one with the dark hair.” He crossed his arms, and turned away from Dean, looking every bit like he was pouting. “I get it, she’s definitely more your type. I just... wish you would’ve told me.”
Dean was really, seriously confused. He had no idea who Castiel was talking about. The only woman he had spent any time with was-- “Jesus, Cas, are you talking about Tessa?!”
“I don’t know her na--”
“She’s my cousin, you moron!”
Castiel looked like he had been slapped. “Your... cousin?”
“Yeah, Cas. My cousin. She lives in Hawaii so I get to see her maybe once every other year. She had just gotten into town, so we were having lunch. In fact, I was going to introduce you guys. She wanted to meet you.” Castiel mouthed the word “fuck” and brought a hand up over his eyes. “Yeah, now you get it, don’t you? Look, I know you don’t trust anyone, but... God, Cas, how could you think that about me?!”
Castiel looked up, eyes wide and apologetic. “Dean...”
“No! Save it!” Dean didn’t care. He was livid. “You should’ve at least asked me. Instead you decide to go fuck around, and... and... Cas. There could never be anyone else...” He deflated then, all the anger rushing out of him, leaving a cold, empty feeling behind. His eyes were stinging.
Castiel looked like he was feeling much the same way. “I’m sorr--”
“Don’t! I don’t want to hear it! I’m--” Dean sucked in a deep breath. “I’m done with you. You got what you wanted.” With that, he turned and walked away. He didn’t know where he was going to go, but he wanted to be far the hell away from Cas.
Dean knew his and Cas’s relationship was weird. Most days he didn’t even know how they functioned, they just did, and that was all that mattered to him. Dean knew Cas had trust issues the size of a planet, but he never thought he’d just toss him aside over a stupid misunderstanding. Dean conceded that maybe he really didn’t know Cas after all. That thought hurt the most. He had opened himself up to Cas, and it all blew up in his face.
Dean couldn’t even count all the missed calls he had from Cas. He didn’t care. He was mad, and he wasn’t going to stop being mad any time soon. Better to just completely cut Cas out, and wait until the other man finally got the hint and left him alone, too.
It was almost four in the morning, and Dean had finally, finally fallen asleep when his phone started going off. Muttering unpleasant things into his pillow, he reached over to grab the phone, then answered it without looking at the number. “‘Lo?”
“Dean...?”
Dammit! “Th’ hell d’you want, Cas?”
The other end of the line was quiet, save for the sound of breathing. “I... Dean. There was never anyone else for me either.” Cas got the words out in a rush, voice somewhat slurred, then abruptly hung up.
Dean stared at his phone for a long, long time. “Goddammit,” he muttered, before jolting out of bed.
“Cas! Cas, open the damn door!” Dean was pounding on Cas’s front door, not caring if the other man had been asleep or not.
Cas finally answered the door, looking like a complete mess. His hair was going in every direction, there were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, and he was only wearing a pair of boxers. He did seem to brighten when he realized who was on the other side. “Dean?”
Dean froze. He had no idea what to say. So he decided to act instead, grabbing Cas up much the same way when this whole thing started between them and kissed him hard.
Cas giggled against his mouth. “Didn’t we already do this?”
“Jesus Christ, are you ever not stoned?” Dean ground out before kissing him again.
“Haven’t been since, uh. For a while now.” Cas was still trying to talk between kisses, even as he wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck.
Dean finally pulled back, breathless, but feeling happiness creep in. “Can we just agree we’re both stupid this time?”
Cas nodded. “Yes. I think we can.” He chuckled, and pressed his forehead to Dean’s. “You are ridiculous, Dean Winchester.”
Dean jolted, frowning at Cas. “Cas, that’s... not my last name. I thought you would know that by now.”
Cas tilted his head. “Yes it is. Your name’s Smith. Right?”
Dean opened his mouth to speak, when he was suddenly hit with an awful realization. “Oh God. No. No, no! Not again!”
“Dean? Dean, what’s wrong?!”
Dean’s eyes went wide, and he stared at Cas with a sort of horror. “It’s not real. None of this is real! No, Cas, I’m so sorry!”
Cas’s eyes were wide and scared, and he was gripping Dean’s shoulders too tightly. “Dean, I don’t understand! What are you talking about?! You’re scaring me!”
Dean reached up to hold Cas’s face, and kissed him again. “I’m so sorry. Cas, I just want you to know, I love you, okay?! No matter what I do!” Everything was already fading around him. He could hear Cas talking, but he couldn’t make out the words. His world was turning black.
“Dean! Dean, talk to me! Dean!”
Dean gasped, reaching out and grabbing onto someone’s shoulder. He blinked several times until the blurred figure hovering over him came into focus. “Oh, God, Sam!” He tried to catch his breath, even as he reach up with his other arm so he could pull Sam closer to him. “It wasn’t real! Sammy, none of it was real...”
“Hey, Dean, calm down.” Sam wrapped his arms around his older brother as well, as pulled him up into a sitting position. “It’s okay, Dean. You’re safe now.”
Dean moaned, and buried his face in Sam’s neck. “No, Sam, you don’t understand! It felt so real, and, and, fuck! I don’t even know if I want it to be or not...”
“Alright, Dean. We’ll talk about in a bit, but let’s get out of here first. Okay?” Dean nodded, and Sam help him to his feet. With one of Dean’s arms slung over Sam’s shoulders, and one of his own around Dean’s waist, they walked away together.
Dean was sitting across from Sam at a tiny hotel table, nursing a cup of coffee. “What the hell happened exactly, anyway?”
Sam shrugged. “It was a witch. I know, I know, your favorite. As far as I can tell, she put some kind of sleeping spell on you. Said you were safe, told me where she was keeping you in exchange for letting her go-- Don’t even give me that look, Dean.” Dean had been working himself into a truly epic glare, but he rolled his eyes instead and settled into something that looked like a pout. “What... What happened to you, Dean? When I found you, you were...” Sam gestured helplessly, giving Dean a sympathetic look.
“It was stupid,” Dean muttered. Sam gave him a look that clearly indicated he should keep talking. “I was caught in one of those stupid dream world things again, like with a Djinn. It was... Okay, you remember when that asshole Zachariah trapped us in that bizarro business world?” Sam nodded. “Well, that’s... what I was dreaming about. I was Dean Smith again.”
“What, really?” Sam snorted. “Sounds like a nightmare.”
Dean shrugged. “Not really. You were there. You seemed happy. And... Cas was there, too. Sort of.”
“What does ‘soft of’ mean?”
“It means... well... Okay, that wasn’t the only time Zachy messed with me like that, and uh... I should... probably explain the whole thing, huh?”
Dean spent the next couple of hours explaining everything to Sam, telling him all about the horrible future Zachariah had shown him all those years ago, and how it influenced the Cas from his dreams. He told him about the life he had lived as Dean Smith, about how he had befriended Sam Wesson, and his relationship with Cas. Down to trying to tell the dream Cas that he loved him.
Sam’s eyes were wide, and his mouth was hanging slightly open. “You. And Cas. Really?”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, I know, Sam. Weird, right?” He tried to smile, but it wasn’t working. “Stupid thing is, I... I think I really do. I mean. It’s Cas, you know? Nevermind. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
Sam was smiling at him, though. “I think you should tell him.”
Dean’s head snapped over to gape at him. “Sam. No. This whole thing was stupid. I’m just going to forget about it, okay?”
“Dean. Call Cas, or I’m going to do it for you.” Sam gave him a stern glare.
“Dammit, Sam, I’m not--”
“Dean!” Both brothers looked over to see Cas standing in the middle of their hotel room. He was staring at Dean, eyes wide, and filled with relief. “Dean, I’m glad you’re alright. I was looking for you on the other side of town, and I came to check in with Sam, and...” He narrowed his eyes then, not quite glaring. “Why didn’t anyone tell me you were safe.”
“That doesn’t matter right now!” Sam said, shooting to his feet. “Dean here actually has something else to tell you. Don’t you, Dean?” Dean was glaring daggers, but Sam didn’t seem phased. “And on that note, I’m going to leave you two alone to talk it out.”
“Sam! Sam get back here!” Dean started to chase after his brother, but the younger man was already out the door. “Fuck...”
“What did you need to talk to me about, Dean?” Dean turned around to face Cas, and his breath caught in his throat. It finally hit him, this was the real Cas, standing right there in front of him. His chest ached, his hands itched to touch him, and he knew he couldn’t just forget about this after all.
Dean stepped forward, until he was right in Cas’s space. Familiar. Safe. “Cas, look, I...” He reached out, setting a hand on Cas’s shoulder. He was at a complete loss for words. But then, he had been before, right? Taking in a deep, steady breath, Dean put his other hand on Cas’s jaw, and leaned forward to kiss him lightly.
Cas sighed against Dean’s lips, and pressed closer. Tentatively, he brought his hands up to rest on Dean’s waist. “Dean...”
Dean pulled back slightly, eyes roaming over Cas’s face. “This... this is okay with you?”
Cas smiled. “Of course it is Dean. How could you ever think it wouldn’t be?”
Dean grinned, and leaned in to kiss Cas again.