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Well I did like Matt told me, I slept on it. My answer is.....FUCK THIS SHIT. I don't know who or what to belive anymore. I am sick of being lied to. I might be scum, but at least I tell the truth about being scum. Heh, I started to actually belive I was wrong, I was convinced I was simply a fool who made an even more foolish mistake than normal. Ahhhh! but then I find out I WAS being lied to. Not in the way I though mind you, but lied to none the less. So I am still a fool for even starting to TRUST anyone. I should have known better, from past mistakes at least. Of course I am not pretending to be an angel, jesus christ I am far from that. Well to the point of this rambling. I don't even know why I have taken the time to post this, except for the fact finality is needed in a circumstance such as this. I would have prefered to do it another way (like in person) but it does not look like that is going to happen. As far as I am concerned we'll just make this easy! 1) I am a fucking asshole, I have NEVER said anything else. 2) All the partiees involved can do MUCH better than me in the first place. 3) I am not nor will not date any girls at The Rocky Horror Picture Show ever again. I would have rather said this to people in person, but whats the point when no matter what you say turns into " Blah, blah, blah, I'm a dirty tramp. " anyway. 4) a certian person was right about my son, that I cannot keep doing this, after that was said I relized that person actually gave a crap about my son, even thou it was used to hurt me specificly, it was in fact...very true(hows that for a run on sentance? keep reading....it will get worse) but at this point does not give a crap about me, I do not blame her....I do not give a crap about me either. But that person said if she was not in my life that she would be in my son's anyway and he really likes her and asks aabout her all the time, we will see if once again I am just a sucker or if the promise will be kept.5) (yes I know this is getting long winded, but hey! it's probobly going to be my last post on LJ...well other than comments.) I am leaving Rocky, I have caused to much bad blood recently with what are now cast members (congrats guys really, you 2 worked for awhile to become cast)I will still give any support Matthew needs, I will still attend sometimes maybe after this all blows over, (Hey, no one hates me at chandler!!!! j/k)I might just be taking a hiatus, I might be leaving for good, and those of you that think I can't quit......fucking watch me muthafukas I went on a 6 year rocky hiatus.....I can do it again np. Oh and from now on I will NEVER date anyone ever again, it allways goes bad....and yes i know it's my fault. I'm too untrusting for a relationship anyway. I'll never be able to trust girls.....I dispize them anyway, and them me lol. To those of you viewing this as a quest of my link from the message board or from gossip, I will miss you guys at rocky.....ALL of YOU *grumbles something about yes all of you, even the ones who don't want to see me anymore* 6) Certain Parties who dislike each other I have this to say to you....Did you stop to think that you dislike each other because you are bolth so alike????Hmmmm?You dress close to the same, have the same taste in guys, and hyper areintelligent....except for that part about having anything to do with me...I'm scum...was it your libido thinking for you????? I think you 2 at least should try and work things out, you two might actually dispite what you think find very good friends in each other. Last is my apology, I wish I could still talk and hang out with you guys at least, I know I am going to MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!But hey I'm one who screwed everything up, yes yes I know it's all my fault. wishful thinking thou. To the drama makers that spread gossip....BTW How does it feel to be used? Hmmm predictable? I think so. Ahhh it's people like you that spread the rumors, then get sooooooooooo, pissed off when drama happens to you and everyone knows.....my heart bleeds for you...really.....NOT. But you guys are usfull at least. Goodbye my friends-Jason